You are a Darwin Award candidate

What's the dumbest thing you've done that could've gotten you killed?

I actually cut the TV power cord with a pair of scissors when I was six or so. The TV was on, the scissors were lying on the table, and I knew something bad would happen if I snipped the power cord -- so I did it. The ensuing flash blinded me for half a minute, and a small part of the scissor blade melted off. Quite fortunately, it had plastic handles.

We still keep that pair of scissors in the house, although only the top half of the blades are usable.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Well when I was younger my gandmother had a sofa with a lazy boy like reclinable(sp) chair at the end. I was wondering what would happen if I were to stand on the foot rest.


well lets say by the end of the night I had a few more stiches in my head then I did the day before.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

When I went to visit some family back in 1994 (I was 15 or so at the time) I was hanging out with our neighbors who were, just as I remembered from when I left in '88, troublemakers of the worst kind. We had a few beers and we had the bright idea to go knock headlights out of some cars with a bat that we had lying around.

So off we went to bang off every headlight we could find and pretty soon we came up on a pick up truck and we saw that it was, in fact, a "Policia Federal de Caminos" (Federal Highway Police) transport. Now, I don't know how many of you are familiar with the "Federales" police force in Mexico but they pretty much do as they please and if they REALLY wanted to they can pretty much kill anyone who fucks with them and really get away with just a slap on the wrist. Well... According to general mob stupidity we went ahead and bashed in their headlights as well... Unfortunately for us, there were two surly gentlemen armed with machine guns in the back of the pick up truck ALSO drinking beer. We didn't even get a verbal warning; when we saw them get up, WE. FUCKING. RAN. And, of course, THEY. OPENED. FIRE. Although I'm pretty sure they didn't fire directly at us because I have a good feeling that if they had, I'd be as dead as a fucking lobster on a plate. I was too fucking terrified to look back; I just ran.

Moral of the story: Don't fuck with Mexican police! Those beaners are armed to the teeth and bust REAL caps as casually as a kid PRETENDING to do the same with a toy gun.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Well, I once leaped off a flight of stairs from the midway landing. There was a overhang that I didn't see. My head smacked right into the overhang on the way down. I flipped around, landed on my hips, and lay there bleeding from the head until a housemate found me.

Yup, real smart.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Ence... your avatar and signature combo ROCK. NewsRadio was one of the best sitcoms ever made. That is all.

There was a fire across the street from my house one day. So I ran over there and put it out with a hose. However, part of it wouldn't stop crackling all orangey like. I kept spraying it and spraying it, then put my thumb over the metal head of the hose to make the water spray harder/farther... THEN I realized that the orange "flame" was actually writhing electricity from a downed power line that had STARTED the fire. I stopped spraying it, feeling very grateful that I hadn't gotten electrocuted.

I was speaking idiomatically.

When I was little, I got a Lite Brite for Christmas one year. My mom had it in her lap, putting it together, and for some reason she had it plugged in, but there was no light bulb in the socket. Guess where I stuck my finger.

One morning in 6th grade while waiting in the car for Mom to drive me to school, I started fooling around with the car's cigarette lighter. No one in my family smokes, so I wasn't familar with how it worked. The engine was off, and I pushed the lighter in for a few seconds. I popped it out to see if it had turned red, and it hadn't. I assumed that because the engine was off, the lighter didn't work, and I proceeded to put my thumb on the surface of the lighter. WRONG. I burned the end of my thumb (which turned white and hard as the day went on), but I managed not to cry or make a face when my mom got in the car, because I didn't want to get yelled at for my stupidity.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by nuttyturnip

One morning in 6th grade while waiting in the car for Mom to drive me to school, I started fooling around with the car's cigarette lighter. No one in my family smokes, so I wasn't familar with how it worked. The engine was off, and I pushed the lighter in for a few seconds. I popped it out to see if it had turned red, and it hadn't. I assumed that because the engine was off, the lighter didn't work, and I proceeded to put my thumb on the surface of the lighter. WRONG. I burned the end of my thumb (which turned white and hard as the day went on), but I managed not to cry or make a face when my mom got in the car, because I didn't want to get yelled at for my stupidity.

I've done that EXACT same thing. Except, my mom figured it out because she got in the car and it smelled like burning flesh.


Probably, one of the dumbest things I've ever done was when I was volunteering at the library, I was cutting some paper into shapes with this big machine and some of the paper was a bit big, so I got out a rotary cutter--not knowing how to really use it--and tried to cut the paper with it. Needless to say, I wasn't paying very much attention to where I was putting the rotary cutter and sliced off the tip of my middle finger. I turned around, blood gushing out of my finger and stated simply, "I think I need a band aid." Sadly, the library freaked out and called my parents, because it was a tad bit more serious than a band aid.

How ya doing, buddy?

Two stories come to mind.

March 6, 2006. (I know because it's in my journal. Hey, that's a few days after GFF returned!) Anyway, I was coming back late from class... on a Monday night, and I had to make it in time for 24... it was gonna be the epic double hour of Bauer. You can read the details in my entry from that time, but basically, I was dodging traffic and "walking quickly" across highways all because THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH TIME. I made it though with seconds to spare. That's all that mattered...

Sophomore year of college. I forget when exactly, but I was with my ultimate friends (frisbee, foos). We were gonna play at our university's football field, so we wanted to "break in." While there ended up being an easier way, I decided to scale a ~18-foot gate. I got over it, but the points at the top caught the lens of my glasses, putting a crack in it. That could've gone so bad in so many different ways. It could've been my eye that got stabbed, or the lens could've shattered onto my face or something. Whew. Lucky naman. I didn't even notice it until after I landed and got into the light and wondered why my vision was a bit blurry. Anyway, more impressive was how I got over the gate... both awesome and retarded. =p

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Well lets see...

When I was a baby I crawled off a 13 foot ledge, landed on my back, and had one solid bruise from my shoulders down to my ass. My mother said I pissed blood for a few days.

Also when I was a baby I ate an entire can of chew... another visit to the hospital.

Did I mention that I almost died from CIDs?

When I was 7 or 8 I built mini demolition charges out of gunpowder, a fuse, and a spent .22 short cartridge. We were playing with our Tonka trucks and I thought it would be cool to blow up the rocks in our way just like the real people did. someone told on me before I could use them, probably a good thing.

When I was 9 there was a huge storm, it knocked down a lot of trees into the slue near where I lived. Well about a mile down the road at a friends home many of those trees had collected in the slue out behind his house, well we'd go out running on them for fun. When I told my mom she about shit her pants. Most of them would move (a lot) when you'd step on them so I was probably lucky that I didn't fall in between them and die.

In elementary school (2nd and 3rd grade) a few friends and I would do back flips out of the swings, we came up with some rather inventive techniques to do "stunts" from the swings, including what we called the superman which involved switching from a seated position to your stomach, to my favorite the back flip, and even to a rotating back flip where you not only flipped upside down but also turned completely around as well, though I was the only one who did the last one.

I've also done some other stuff that shouldn't be repeated... all of it funny at the time, but rather dumb in hindsight.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I've got a scar right next to my right eye from clipping an outhanging toy or something on the couch as I ran by. I'm not sure, but I think I might also have some marks right above my ass from falling backwards into the fireplace (failed attempt at a sudden stop) and being burned by the iron log holders. Sure taught me not to run in the house.

I also nearly drowned in the unnecessarily deep jacuzzi at a friends house, when I was running around the pool and slipped. Thankfully everyone saw me fall in and pulled me out, 'cause I couldn't swim.

Yes, young Monkey King had some issues with following the rules.

Less not paying attention the rules and more being absentminded, I almost blew myself up on the bus ride home from school. We were making model rockets to shoot off for science class. They handed out the rocket engines, and I had mine all assembled, but didn't get to shoot mine off that day. So I put it in my bag and took it home. My parents pointed out that, had the metal connectors crossed while in transit, the engine would have likely shot off while still in my bag. Doh.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

February 28, 2006: I J-walked and got my right foot rolled over by a BMW sedan.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

When I was six I was pulling on the tail of my grandma's dog. He obviously didn't like that and I got bit on the cheek requiring six stiches. I still have the scar, but it's not very noticable at all now.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I don't really remember how old I was, but I wanted to put the star on the top of the tree at Christmas. Unfortunately, I was nowhere near tall enough to accomplish this feat on my own. Surveying the area, the closest instrument of climbing was a chair. A folding chair. Guess what happened when I stood on that? That's right, a trip straight back down, head-first, into the fireplace.

How ya doing, buddy?

Walking in front of a bus onto a highway of oncoming traffic. A second or so after crossing in front of the bus... POW. Car sends me flying onto the road.

Most amazing jew boots

O.o' Gee. My stupid stunt would be when I was 2 or 3, I was playing with a vemonous snake. I believe it was a rattler. (Cabin in the middle of nowhere, ie tons of openings for that snake to get inside.)

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Philia

I was playing with a vemonous snake. I believe it was a rattler.

I did the same thing with a rattlesnake in Mexico too when I was a little kid, probably about 6 or 7, but I got clipped in the forearm. Luckily I got the poison sucked out and got anti-venom treatment right away and thus I'm still alive to tell about it. Unfortunately for the snakes in that area, they've become a hunted species and now my dad's house in Mexico has a rather large corral in the rear that's lined with rattlesnake skulls all around the perimeter.

Serves them bitches right for fucking with Mexicans.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Did something stupid when I was younger...

I was playing around with a knife(it was during the ninja craze of the 80s), and sliced one of my fingers ; the knife hit the bone. Blood started to gush out, and I had no idea how to stop it, so I went to the bathroom. My parents were sleeping at this time, and thankfully they woke up when I jolted to the bathroom or I could've bleed to death. My mom fainted/collapsed at the site of amount of blood she saw...

to stitch my finger up believe it took 5 hours..

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I used to play ding dong ditch with a friend of mine back in the old apartment I used live in, a good 10+ years ago. And we happened to ring the door bell to what was apparently a drunk and angry white man who came out with a bat and proceeded to chase us for roughly two blocks. For the rest of the day our home block was effectively a no-fly zone. We also stopped playing ding dong ditch for a good 3 months.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The first time was due to being young, gullible, and wanting to show up my brothers. I was trying to slide down the bannisters on my forearms (basically no balance whatsoever), leant too much into it and went straight over, smacking my head on the piano and then landing on my back. I was 4 and I bawled the whole way to the hospital (first head x-ray yay).

The second time was due to my complete inattentiveness; I was at a crossing, pressed the button for the lights and then without pausing tried to make my way across the road. If my friend hadn't realised what I was doing I would have lasting injuries to this day. I was a mere inch away from the car.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Hmm... Let me start...

When I tried to break the ice with my foot on a frozen creek and luckily it was only my foot that got wet and frozen...

The time I tried to go near the flooded creek when I was 12....

The list goes on and on. I will post more as I remember them.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?