You Wanna Play With What?!? No Way Kid, You'll Put Your Eye Out!

http://funny-town.blogspot.com/2006/...-all-time.html

This article is actually kind of neat. It's called "The 11 most dangerous playtoys". What got me was the atomic scientist kit with actual "low-level radioactive uranium samples", the "gilligan's island-style hammock that strangles small children", and the cabbage patch doll that eats fingers. How did they not know better!? XD

Ever gotten hurt off of any toys you had as a kid or know anyone else that did?

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I don't see what is so dangerous about the uranium. Truthfully, uranium-238 is only weakly radioactive, and only releases alpha particles at that. It's not as though it's emitting gamma rays, or even worse, free neutrons. If you're worried, wear a face mask. Even a thin sheet of paper is more than enough to stop an alpha particle, and they certainly aren't powerful enough to penetrate your skin.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Haha, I saw that article last week linked on Yahoo. Fantastic. I loved the cabbage patch doll. They had some pretty good commentary in there, too. It was definitely worth the read.

I probably burned myself on the later iteration of Creepy Crawlers, because those things got hot. I'm sure I smashed fingers in all sorts of toys, but nothing ever really damaging. I think I was one of those boring cautious children. :\

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

lol @ article & major lol @ "Lawn Darts"/"Jarts". Is the person who created them some sadistic mastermind..? He may be thinking it was a shame he couldn't break the double digits for the deaths, and couldn't even get to 7,500 injuries. Bah, damn Jarts. Imagine if Jarts were commonly used in today's society? It'd be the top news story every day, it would.

The only other one I have anything to say about is the "Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab", and that is: *sigh*.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Awesome article, but let's be honest here; if it's not dangerous, it's not fun.

I was speaking idiomatically.

As I was reading through the list I was remembering some of the commercials of some of the more recent (late 90s) toys.

The Cabbage Patch doll that ate fingers was really interesting. Kind of like Chucky, I guess, but it was at least something that would scar a little girl at a young age.

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I remember playing with some of those things, especially the Creepy Crawlers. Those provided me with hours of creepy-crawly entertainment.
I do remember how hot the plate was after cooking the insects, but if you had any common sense, you'd realize that metal+strong lamp=searing pain.

It's unfortunate that most people have no common sense, and do one thing stupid that ruins it for everyone else. Scratched cornea's and broken teeth from a fairy with foam wings? What were they doing? Standing over top of it when it went off? Give me a break...

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I remember the Creepy Crawlers as well, although I haven't seen them for a long time. I love the commentary for the motorbike though. Got to wonder what would be going through a kids head if the throttle got stuck.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

My sister actually owned a Sky Dancer. I seem to recall a toy similar to it but designed for boys so that they could get in on the fun without fear of being ridiculed for playing with something that looked like a Barbie; I never did get one though. Maybe that's a good thing. It's pretty crazy to know that my sister owned something so potentially dangerous though!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I don't know why, but reading that article put a song in my head.

Stone protectors; STONES ON A ROLL. Stone protectorssss; OUR STONES OF POWER GLOW!

That Atomic Energy Lab looks awesome. Looks like something you'd get after putting an order in through some black and white ad in the back of a comicbook. I want jarts!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Jesus fuck were lawn darts fun. I remember discovering an old box covered in dust in the boathouse of a cabin we were staying at. Sure enough, a lawn dart set that was well before my time.

Took about 5 minutes before the lawn dart game turned into ammunition while we played "ninjas".

No one lost and eye, but I do remember a few "oh shit LOOK OUT" moments.

How ya doing, buddy?

Holy shit... That Johnny Reb Cannon looks AWESOME! From the picture on the article it looked small enough to be a small paperweight but if you watch the commercial you see the shit was large enough that it almost begged to be hauled by beasts of burden.

Oh wow... I can almost see kids today re-enacting battle scenes from The Patriot using these.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I know a guy who still plays with lawn darts regularily. His brother acquired a set in the 80's and kept them to this day. He has many great stories about those wonderful toys, my favourite being he and his brother playing while camping, only to have it rip right through a neighbouring tent. They entered, retreived their dart, and ran like the dickens.

Haha, skydancers. Man, i have a seriously hard time beleiving those things could do any harm. They had a short lived TV show once upon a time. I remember watching it a few times, but i don't remember anything about it.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Is it me or there's no clear source for the material on that blog? I've seen the same thing on another website, where it seemed to originate, so I suspect someone just decided to steal a shitload of stuff. And whoever did the stealing loses even more points for stealing an article that shows the kind of ignorance this shows for some of those toys, namely the "OMG ATOMS" one.

As some people said, U-238 is near harmless. When it comes to radiation, it won't do much unless it's made into powder and inhaled, damaging your lungs. Which doesn't happen too often. Hell, U-235 and plutonium aren't even dangerous to handle with your bare hands unless you have a critical mass, in which case you probably have more pressing matters to handle anyway, like making sure your will is ready.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by OctoberOmicron

Stone protectors; STONES ON A ROLL. Stone protectorssss; OUR STONES OF POWER GLOW!

"My name is Cliff and I like to climb; put the drop on bad dudes anytime!"

(and it's "trolls on a roll" not "stones on a roll.")

now, i absolutely NEED a Johnny Reb Cannon. Why they don't make stuff like that anymore is beyond me.

FELIPE NO

I had a couple of those "Sky Dancer" doo-hickeys, but instead of flying ballerina princesses, they were insane mutant ninjas. I never remember them hurting when they hit you, though.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Ugh, I sort of remember getting a dart stuck in my head once. Strangely enough I didn't feel any pain (which I later learned in school cause the brain itself doesn't have any pain sensors or something like that). Luckily it wasn't one of those darts in that list, but it would've sucked to get nailed by one of those.

I'm surprised by how recent some of those toys are as well. The stuff from the early 80's and before I could understand, but some stuff being made still is still considered dangerous? I suppose if you don't use items as intended, it could be dangerous, but in these cases, kids largely are using it as intended, but are suffering some unfortunate (and probably overlooked) side effects/problems.

Guess my nieces are getting a nice book that has the music thing that plays various music pieces when you press them, unless that's proven to be dangerous too (if they decide to chuck it like a ninja star, then yeah lol).

The Johnny Reb cannon commercial, and commentary, was kind of funny though.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

the cabbage patch kid was awesome, I even have a creepy crawler set somewhere. and of course the lawn darts, my uncle owns a pair of them and me and my cousin used to throw them at each other, I advise against that they hurt like hell when the go behind your kneecap

There's nowhere I can't reach.

A friend of mine used to have a solid, wooden boomerang. We were fucking hopeless at gettign the bastard thing to come back which it turn out was a good thing. The one day someone managed to get it to turn and return, we were faced with a sharp-edged, wooden, spinning hunting weapon heading erratically straight for us. Everyone hit the deck and it imbedded itself 6 inches in the ground about 2 inches from my mate's head. Whoever decided to give hunting weapons to 11 year old kids as a toy anyway? Week after that we all went out and bought catapults...

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

When I was a kid (and even to this day), I have been given slingshots made of cedar with an elastic drawback. I have shot so many unsuspecting things with slingshot ammo (yea, they actually make it), it's disturbing.

Today, I keep a slingshot in the trunk of my car with ammo. I have no idea why - I think I just never took it out. But it's there, and I usually use it when I am camping. I was a bad, bad kid about slingshotting anything that had people inside.

Also, potato guns are pretty fun. >_>

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Drex

Haha, I saw that article last week linked on Yahoo. Fantastic. I loved the cabbage patch doll. They had some pretty good commentary in there, too. It was definitely worth the read.

I probably burned myself on the later iteration of Creepy Crawlers, because those things got hot. I'm sure I smashed fingers in all sorts of toys, but nothing ever really damaging. I think I was one of those boring cautious children. :\

Same here.

I think even the more recent Creepy Crawlers oven deserves an honourable mention in the article. Its plastic could melt if the oven was used for long periods of time or a too-powerful lightbulb was used. After a few months we had to remove the door from our CC oven because it had warped to the point where it wouldn't open/close properly.

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Quote:

In 2000, the CPSC announced that over 150 children fell prey to Sky Dancer's helicopter-blade arms and erratic "Oh-Jesus-it's-chasing-me!" flying patterns.

The versions of those that were made for boys were called 'Dragonflyz' and came out around the same time as Sky Dancers. Me and my sister had one and I can justify those flying patterns.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Does anybody remember that toy where you melted friggin metal to make toy cars? You basically poured a bunch of little metal balls into what looked like a forge basically. I think it might have just been in Canada but I could specifically remember that even at the age of 8 that was the most dangerous toy i have ever seen, but i really wanted one so i could make my own toy cars, put the hot wheels label on it and sell them to my unsuspecting peers for half the price of real hot wheels.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Also, potato guns are pretty fun. >_>

Back in 2003 when I moved to Three Rivers in the mountains we made a potato gun too. In fact... I wouldn't even call it a potato gun; I'd call it a potato cannon!

Man, we had so much fun with that thing. We'd get completely lit in the middle of the day when we got home from work and my friend's cousins used to load it with GUNPOWDER and we'd watch the fucking potatoes fly literally MILES. This was all in good fun until one day they popped a potato into some guy's living room window across the river (I'd say the potato flew about 2000 ft. to reach that house which was on the side of the hill) and shattered a 50 gallon fish tank.

Nobody was home when this happened and we only found out about the fish tank when they returned home from vacation a month and a half later but as far as I know, nobody knows it was them that did it and I have no clue what happened to that cannon either.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Oh my, I had one of those Creepy Crawlers things! xD
Thinking about it... yes, it was a pretty dangerous toy for a young boy, luckily I never grabbed a freshly heated metal plate with my bare hands...

I remember combining the lime green goop with the red one and making these nasty brown cockroaches and putting them strategically in my mom's bed (Since she suffers from phobia to roaches one could say that she really really hated it when I did that.).

Jam it back in, in the dark.