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Worrying for friends.
Ok, so recently, someone I know over the net and am megagood friends with, due to issues with her parents (shes a MTF trans and her parents are being lame about it and disowning her and stuff). Since I live with my mother and her bf, I can't rly take her in as it's their house and shiz, and to rent, I'd need a good amount saved up from a job and shiz which I don't really have right now.
Basically, she's being kicked out of home and has friends and such to turn to, but only for a couple of weeks and stuff. She knows someone who she might be able to move in with, but this is someone she's going out with but isn't sure about. She says she'll be "ok, I hope" and that she'll "figure something out, hopefully" Am I just being an obsessive worrier? I totally want to like, move her up with me but I need to get my own life on track too. >_> For once am I better off not worrying so much although I want to? Jam it back in, in the dark. |
I can understand how you would feel. Not long ago my cousin was preganet and was living in a shit hole with her idiot of a bf.
My money was tight but I wasn't in danger of going poor or anything, so I offered her to come to my place for a few days and we can go baby shopping, I would be paying. She refused because I would not allow her to smoke, made sense seeing she was preganet and I can't be around smoke. Now that she has had her baby she is still in a though situation. She and her bf live somewhere else, but they had to leave for a short while because they could not pay their power bill. I feel like inviting her to stay with me at my new house... but it is to the point that I don't really trust her not to do anything while I am not home. Her bf may try to tag along and he woul either eat me out of house and home, or steal alot of stuff. Most amazing jew boots |
Larry Oji, Super Moderator, Judge, "Dirge for the Follin" Project Director, VG Frequency Creator |
XSO, sometimes circumstances do not allow for such drastic life changes. As is the case in any change, some anxiety will take place. If a social relationship is strong, you can have anxiety over the events in a friend's life. It's a normal reaction, so don't be concerned if you're worrying too little or too much.
If the anxiety is causing you health problems (higher stress level, less appetite, etc) then you may be experiencing "too much". That is really the only kind of worry or anxiety that would be considered negative. Also, XSO, you seem to use language that hints you may feel guilty about a lesser amount of worrying. Should that be the case, keep in mind that there's no clear criteria for how much more or how much less you should worry for a friend. Having any worry at all for your friend shows sympathy, even if you cannot act to help her. This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it. |
If there was any way you could let her move in without taking your own life off the rails then it would be plausible, but if she is doing okay for the moment and you have your own problems to deal with, there isn't much else you can do except keep an eye on her. Just knowing she's doing okay might lessen your worry a bit, if you feel it's obsessive.
I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body? ![]() ![]() |
I would want her to move in with me and such, but the trouble is that until I can get a job in this godforsaken no-vacancies place, I can't even get a place of my own as I have like, zero money to my name and I'm staying with my mother and her bf (lole divorce, lole living in a foreign country that clearly doesn't want you, lole family reluctantly breaking up due to asshole father) >_>
This is half the reason I sorta feel a bit guilty because if I had got a job earlier, etc. etc. Luckily I'm not sorta worrying about it to like, clinical stress levels, but I can't help feeling I should be a able to do something about it even though I can't. You know the "I wish I could take in every stray cat I see, even though I know I couldn't" syndrome? Yeah, that. >_> Butyeah, I'll just see how she gets along I guess. She says she might move in with someone she knows who she might go out with (holding herself back because she doesn't really know them too well), but now it's more a case of "I suppose I could do that, better than being homeless I guess" I haven't heard from her for a couple of days so I'll give it a while before I text her or something. But yeah, it's just.......y'know, wanting to do something about it and not being able to which is just frustrating and stuff. ._.;; I was speaking idiomatically. |
Why don't you help her find someplace else to stay. Help her find a friend or a friend of yours to get her setup for a while. You can still always be there for her even if she isn't staying with you. The one thing that anyone needs when they just get kicked out of their house, is someone there so they know they aren't alone.
What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now? Together, We Will Heal Our Scars With Our Tears
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