Crank - Impressions

Plot: A hit man (Statham) learns that a poison injected into his body will kill him if his heart rate drops slows a certain point. Now he must exact his revenge on the people who injected him before he takes his last breath.

Just came back from watching this movie, here are my thoughts:

Spoiler:

This is probably the best video game movie I have ever seen except that it wasn't based on any actual video game. The nods to GTA and video games in general is blatant throughout and I laughed when Statham tells his girl that he's a hitman and not a video game programmer.

Its great that the movie didn't take itself seriously at all, and the ending was satisfying enough that I didn't walk out of the movie feeling like I just wasted my time and money. There are a couple of good gags in the movie, with the best one imo being when Statham tosses the cab driver away and yells "Al Qaida!" Though the erected penis scene was hilarious as well.

I would have liked a some good martial arts fights like in Transporter, but this movie could have been so much worst that I'm just glad it was watchable from beginning to end. All in all, this is an excellent "low-budget over the top" action movie, and a definite must-see for any and all gamers out there.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I don't know why they didn't just call this movie Transporter 3. From all the previews I have seen it looks almost identical to the two movies.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Wojo

I don't know why they didn't just call this movie Transporter 3. From all the previews I have seen it looks almost identical to the two movies.

Its quite different from the Transporter movies. Transporter is way more light-hearted and follows the usual action movie routine by the book. Crank is rated R, and is pretty crazy in a GTA-like way.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Wait, so it's basically Speed with a man instead of a bus? Sounds pretty lame. :/

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Newbie1234

Its quite different from the Transporter movies. Transporter is way more light-hearted and follows the usual action movie routine by the book. Crank is rated R, and is pretty crazy in a GTA-like way.

So it's an R rated Transporters movie? Sounds extreeeeeeme!

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Krelian

Wait, so it's basically Speed with a man instead of a bus? Sounds pretty lame. :/

How is that NOT lame. Speed with a man is fucking genius. You've got some pretty lame tastes. I bet you think lame is a cybernetic ghost of christmas past from the future, and if you think THAT's lame, then there's something totally wrong with your sense of lame.

Lamer.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Kurado

How is that NOT lame. Speed with a man is fucking genius. You've got some pretty lame tastes. I bet you think lame is a cybernetic ghost of christmas past from the future, and if you think THAT's lame, then there's something totally wrong with your sense of lame.

Lamer.

You're really confusing, and not funny at all.

I thought this movie was something completely different than what it really is, I guess. I enjoyed the second Transporter movie, but this seems more... dark. Just by the name, as well.

I'm definitely going to go out of my way to see this one now that I know he's in it.

Call me silly, but I enjoy his characters (usually).

I mean, you guys DO know that he's dating Madonna, RIGHT?

FELIPE NO

Whoa really? Scary lol I thought she was married. Anyway yeah I like his characters a lot too, my bro just saw it and said it was really cool and entertaining so I gotta check it out sometimes.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Sounds more like a cheap excuse to pile up bodybags. Why is everyone going out of their way to beat the body count in Rambo III instead of, you know, writing something?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I keep hearing ads for this on the radio at work. It's like, "Something happens to the guy from the Transporter movies and now he needs sex, drugs, violence -- whatever it takes to keep it up. Bla bla bla...."

My interest is hooked a little when the ad conjures up an image of sex with the guy from The Transporter, but that's about it. Also, that veiny poster is gross. I'd probably watch the movie because I'm sort of a sucker for depravity like that.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

"Sounds more like a cheap excuse to pile up bodybags. Why is everyone going out of their way to beat the body count in Rambo III instead of, you know, writing something?"

I'm all for a well-written movie, but I can also appreciate a movie that's just really fun and good at being an action flick. This looks interesting, in that capacity.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Prosthetic

I mean, you guys DO know that he's dating Madonna, RIGHT?

Uhhh.

Guy Ritchie is married to Madonna. Guy Ritchie usually uses Jason Staham in his movies. He's not dating her, he works with her husband often.

Thanks for coming out.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by acid

Uhhh.

Guy Ritchie is married to Madonna. Guy Ritchie usually uses Jason Staham in his movies. He's not dating her, he works with her husband often.

Thanks for coming out.

Holy shit, I thought it was that John guy. Oh well.

Double Post:

Originally Posted by Devo

I guess you missed the reference to ATHF and speed being an awesome flick, what's not to get?

Back on topic: Super-turkish is always an awesome thing to watch, why lie. This is one of those movies that shouldn't be taken for more than a popcorn flick.

He said how is that NOT lame

Meaning: he thinks it is lame.

And then he bashes someone else for thinking it's lame.

...???

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Prosthetic

He said how is that NOT lame

Meaning: he thinks it is lame.

And then he bashes someone else for thinking it's lame.

...???

Welcome to Gamingforce. :lolsign:


Crank looks like it'd be pretty fucking awesome, if not for Stathom's fight sequences anyway. I enjoyed both Transporters and this seems to be along those lines.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I saw this last night with some college friends, and not knowing anything at all about this movie, I'd have to say it was a fun popcorn flick. My initial impressions was "Speed in a man" lol.

The camera just seemed a bit too shaky at times, which kind of reminded me of the Batman Begins fight sequences where you see a guy throw a punch, then suddenly it switches to something else right away, from a different angle.

Definitely don't watch this if you get motion sickness lol. My friend had a headache going into the movie, and he said the movie made it worse, although he loved watching it lol. It does earn its R rating, what with the amount of sex, drugs, and violence (esp. the violence) in it But despite that, it's more like video game violence than real world

This is definitely something you'd want to see with an audience though. While there will be some idiots, it's a lot like Snakes on a Plane at times, where if someone says something silly at the right moment, it really adds to the joke.

Just one thing I didn't really understand, although it was hilarious:

Spoiler:

Near the end, when the bad guy boss Carlito is talking to him, it switches to the main character, who then lets out a neigh as if he was a horse. Although there were a lot of sillier things done in the movie, this just really came out of nowhere. Not sure what it's supposed to mean, if anything, but it was really funny.

Again, this movie doesn't take itself too seriously for the most part (despite the violence in it), and there really are a lot of funny parts in the movie, whether intentional or not.

If you take this movie for just being a fun popcorn flick, you won't be disappointed. If you try to take the movie seriously, then you'll be disappointed, that's all I'll say in case you're debating to go see it or not.

Spoiler:

Near the end, the main character gets his weapons taken away, but then he holds his hand out like its a pistol. The bad guys laugh, but then when he points it at them, they act as though it's a real gun.

This part really reminds me of a banned Xbox 360 commercial, where something similar happened. People started pulling out their hands as if they were holding guns, and the situation seemed serious, but then they were just playing a game

FELIPE NO

This movie kicks the ever loving shit out of Snakes on a Plane, and every last one of you that calls it lame is missing the goddamn point. It's spectacularly self-aware, to the point that the music is used at many points along the way as a gag. You can tell even Statham knows this isn't supposed to be taken seriously, but he plays it up because he's got to be the hero stereotype.

It's got a paper-thin premise, but that doesn't mean it's lame. You only say so because you think you have the movie figured out, that it's going to be A or B, but it doesn't play to your expectations so much as play on your expectations.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Saw this today with a friend and we bothed loved it, funniest scene has to be the public sex scene.

Jam it back in, in the dark.