Chatting up complete strangers

I've heard that just chatting up strangers you meet is a good way to meet people, but I've never understood how this isn't rude. Maybe I'm just borderline autistic or something, but it always struck me as intrusive, engaging someone in unsolicited conversation with no common points of discussion but the weather. I know it would sure bother me.

This is a lot different from something like talking to other people in a club, where it's assumed you all share a common interest. Here, you're just walking up to someone who probably has business of their own, and dragging them into a forced interaction. Does this actually work for some people? Are other people not bothered by this? I'm just curious what other people's thoughts are on this.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I chat to random strangers all the time. Not like walking up to someone in the street and starting a conversation or anything but if I'm waiting for a train or some shit, I'll often strike up a conversation with anyone who's around. If they don't want to chat they'll either ignore you or tell you so, no big deal really.

How ya doing, buddy?

How would you react to be chatted up out of the blue in public? I bet it would depend on how the person is coming across. I don't think most people would hate it unless the person was unpleasant and/or awkward. Course, I'm sure some people aren't going to have it no matter what, but that group certainly doesn't speak for everybody.

Of course, it would be pretty off putting if the conversation is forced and the topic is nothing that was a genuinely sparked thought.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

chatting up complete strangers hasled to some really good friendships for me

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Isn't everyone a complete stranger to you at some point?

I was speaking idiomatically.

I love chatting with strangers. Especially if they initiate it, cause then it's like I don't have to put any effort into it whatsoever. Lines at the grocery store seem easiest to me - one of us will comment on some product the other person has, or how long the line's been standing still. My favorite recently was this old lady who let me put my items in her cart cause I was dumb and tried to carry 10 items to the counter without a basket or cart or anything. I said thanks, commented on how slow the line was moving, and how people around here are always in such a hurry. She responded with her own views, and I asked her what she did and where she lived. Turns out she lives about 4 blocks away from me, so I told her where I lived. We parted with a "nice to meet you and thanks again!" and that was it. I don't think we'd ever remember each other if we bumped into one another again. But it was a good conversation.

And yeah. RAB has a point. Everyone's a complete stranger at some point or another. I suppose a lot of the time, you're introduced to someone by someone else, which takes the intrusiveness out of it, but they're still a stranger.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Its nice when conversations pop up out of the blue with other people but I usually wouldn't initiate them. I've had some really nice talks with some people, such as commenting on some display or whatever, they come as pleasant surprises and then I just move on. I'm wary of talking to strangers but if we're in a public place then I figure its safe as long as the conversation doesnt get personal, in which case it just gets weird. Its not as nice when random people decide to complain or rant about something to you and you don't want to hear it though.

FELIPE NO

I chat with a few people when waiting for bus stops or in a line or things like that, but it's just a we're-both-bored-so-let's-talk-about-shit thing. I can't say I've ever gotten a friendship out of it...

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I don't mind when people manage to start a conversation with me while standing in a line or waiting in a public place in general. I admit that I don't typically initiate a conversation with others unless it happens to be in a classroom or at work.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Usually I am introduced to new people when I meet my friends at the bar or other social gathering. Since I am a very sociable and talkative person, I have no problem getting along with people I have just met. In all honesty, most of my current friends were just people I met randomly.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Quote:

Posted by RABicle
Isn't everyone a complete stranger to you at some point?

Well yeah, but the context is what's important. Complete strangers meeting together for some common purpose or interest, of course it's expected and appropriate to be trying to make friend.

Random person on the street, fellow shopper waiting in line, or some guy in a restaurant, you shoot the breeze on general topics, but it generally remains businesslike. I have a hard time seeing how it goes from idle chatter about the weather and the slow cashier to meaningful conversation and exchanging of numbers or whatnot.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

My dad likes to do it, maybe part of his nature.
My friend seems to have a gift for it which makes everyone get along with him fairly well, which is why I became one of his good friends since the start of uni. I met him through a friend and he initiated everything (eg. add me to msn, talk to me first, etc.), otherwise I wouldn't bothered to have known him.

I don't bother talking to other people very much anymore, because although I've made my best and closest friends through initiating conversation with them one day randomly, I get the feeling it's because they're the kind of people that are nice to everyone and wouldn't particularly decline a conversation. Plus, I can tell when people don't bother to want to know me better which happens a lot, especially, friend of a friend situations. I think mostly past experience has deterred me from chatting. That plus, I'm a shy person.

How ya doing, buddy?

I don't fare well at doing this. Mainly because I always end up saying something that stops the conversation dead, or people look at me like I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. However there have been times that conversations just happened and I hated to break away from them due to getting ready to leave the store or what have you. Of course, some of my best friends have been found through random conversation when I didn't know them at all. So I guess it's like a win/lose situation with me at times.

I was speaking idiomatically.

This is such a common thing for people to do in Australia. Strangers spark up conversations with each other all the time; it's really kinda quaint. Personally I find it a bit irritating because I like to get heavily involved with my iPod, but it leads to a much friendlier atmosphere than a place like England where everyone is a weird, isolated stiff.

How ya doing, buddy?

A stranger hasn't really initiated a conversation with me often. I had the occasional old man ramble continuously about the time he went to the hardware store and got cheap deals, while we were waiting for the bus. Other than that, girls would just ask for the time or when the bus arrives. Sometimes, they even introduce themselves. I really don't know how to feel about it. It's confusing. Regularly, I do start conversations, but the only people that are strangers that I have an easier time approaching are classmates.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Balcony Heckler

chatting up complete strangers has led to some really good friendships for me

Ditto, in fact, some of my closest friends are people I've met randomly. I dunno, I'm pretty casual about it, if something worth saying to someone comes to mind, I'll simply go over and say it. And the conversation keeps going until they or I find the other person boring. Over here I guess I'm a bit of oddity, a shirted and slacked pitch-blackskinned African dude with a Brit/West African hybrid accent, so that helps a lot with small-talk.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I don't like beginning a conversation with random people, but if someone talks to me I'll definitely respond. Tucson's a friendly little town and people are always happy to talk to you, so I guess I'm just used to it.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Filipinos usually don't start conversations with random strangers, but the old people do that, especially in public places, they comment on something and hoping that the person next to them would respond to their comment. I don't really start conversations with strangers, but sometimes when I feel like it, I do. Usually I do that in bookstores. Foreigners (Americans) are usually the ones who come at you and start conversations, this one guy that talked to me out of the blue (in a bookstore) started by asking what kind of book I was reading (it was about painting), and then we talked about his daughter who's into anime and another daughter in NY doing comics, and some other stuff.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

^^ ya... everything vemp said except for the fact that I rarely find myself in a bookstore . i'm usually always doing my own thing, so it's usually a bother when strangers approach, but i'm used to it. i don't mind if it's just answering a question; but i'm not gonna continue conversing or anything unless it somehow becomes about something i'm interested in, which has never happened. i might say "yeah" or something also if a stranger makes some comment out loud that i feel compelled to concur with. typically i hate dealing with ppl, but i'll do it if i have to. sometimes i think i really should've gone with espionage job...

my mom, on the other hand, likes to speak her comments out loud, and usually draws conversation that way, though those could go awry at any moment... she could also argue her point even if she's totally wrong, which is awesome. my dad's more like me though: a man of few words, but always right.

How ya doing, buddy?

I just am too concerned with the fact that everyone is doing their own thing and don't want to be bothered. I had this issue too.

Great topic, I'm getting some great insight.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

My job pretty much requires that I interact with "complete strangers". Though in my case, it's called building a clientele, so I suppose it is slightly different from what you're talking about.

In the case of just talking to people on the street/middle of the mall/store/whatever... I've never done that. I've had plenty of strangers talk to me out of the blue, and I respond, but I'm never one to initiate it.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I'm a sales guy at a retail store so I talk to sell stuff to strangers too but it's just different when I'm not on the job. I get shy and such outside and I think it's a tad rude.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I have been spoken to once by a complete stranger who was an absolute legend! We ended up having a long conversation (mostly consisting of laughter) regarding dried bananas and killer vending machines XD...never even found out his name...

FELIPE NO

I was never fond of really striking up conversations with random people IRL. And if I do, it's mostly nonsensical banter that wouldn't make any sense to them anyways. BUT, on the internet I find it extremely entertaining to do so. Mostly because of the intrigue involved between their reactions to you and the various things you say. I suppose you could get the same things out of a real life situation, but online it doesn't seem as obtrusive.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I like it just fine, but I hate being caught off guard, I'm never sure how to respond, and I always start the first response sentence with "UHHHH UMMM OH! Yeah, totally."

Jam it back in, in the dark.