Humiliated.

Have you ever had someone do something to you, something so despicable and injurious to every fiber of your dignity that you find it near impossible to forgive them, even years after? And does this act occasionally pop out from your memory long enough to cause you renewed infuriation at your mistreatment?

Years ago, around 1994, my senior year of high school, I had a friend. I considered him a friend because we had some pretty good times. Despite his numerous and cruel pranks and constant belittlement, I liked the guy. I was pretty naive.

One thing he had was an ego. It was monstrous. "Ken" fancied himself to be better than many people and definitely better than me. He was more physically capable; he was better looking; his family was richer; he was a better artist, etc. Several times he implied that he kept me around mostly because he pitied how insignificant I was compared to him. I tried to ignore those comments but it seems that perhaps he kept me as a friend because he felt I made him look better by comparison.

One day in April 1994, a vicious rumor was being circulated throughout the school, a rumor about Ken's girlfriend at that time. It was humiliating for him and he grew very angry, seeking to discover the source of the rumor. Naturally, he didn't think about it for long, arriving at the assumption that the culprit had to be me. OBVIOUSLY, I was SO JEALOUS of how great Ken was that I MUST'VE spread filthy rumors to feel better about myself. He honestly believed I'd do such a thing.

He accused me in Art class and I told Ken the truth, I was innocent. He didn't seem to believe me but said nothing else. As we left class, he seized me, grabbed my hair and proceeded to drag me down two flights of stairs and through the halls until we arrived at his locker. He lifted me off the ground (I didn't weigh much), pressed me against the lockers and began ramming his knee into my groin. During this whole time, he called me a liar, an ingrateful asshole and a filthy rumormonger. When his girlfriend arrived on the scene, Ken forced me to apologize to him and his woman for all the horrible, horrible things I said.

A crowd of students had gathered, of course, but nobody tried to stop the one-sided beating. Since I was pretty much in agony, I offered the apology Ken desired. Ken threw me to the floor and warned me not to fuck with him again. He spat in my direction and left me on the ground, holding my head and my crotch as he turned and walked away.

In all my life, I've never been so outright humiliated as that. It wasn't even the physical abuses; I can take a pounding and walk away eventually. But there was a piece of my dignity that was torn away that morning. Everyone saw the beating I took and how I was powerless to stop it. They heard me apologize for something most believed I didn't - couldn't - do.

Unbeknownst to me, a small group of people who heard about Ken's brutality ambushed Ken outside after school that day. They told him that if he was ever seen, or even rumored to have laid a single finger on me again, they would smash his pretty face into the concrete and leave him hanging from a tree in the courtyard. I can't approve of that sort of vigilanteism, but it's kind of cool.

I didn't find out that they were defending me from him until six years later, when one told me on our way to Niagara Falls. I'd never asked a single person for protection. Honestly, I didn't want charity. I never would've accepted had they asked and they seemed to know this, so they took it upon themselves to act without my consent.

But every so often, my mind spins back to that day and I become mildly upset that I was so viciously betrayed. Now that I'm older, I see that Ken was never really that much of a friend at all. But still, I didn't deserve that sort of humiliation. Nobody does. There are few things that cause me to lose my nerve, but thanks to that incident, being forced to apologize for something I didn't do is 100% guaranteed to cause me to become violent.

Share your similar experiences and how you deal with them now.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Fuck, dude. I know this is easier to say than it is to follow, but having friends cool enough to stick up for you like that would squash any of the humiliation from "Ken".




Off the top of my head, I remember yelling "ASSHOLE!" out the window at some fat redneck who was all over the road, veering into my on-coming lane. He double-backed and followed me. He end up throwing a few punches at me through the car window.

The humiliating part was that I'd pissed on myself. I laugh about it now, tho. That was fucking stupid of me. (I was about 18 then and scrawny, myself.)

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I'm more humiliated for my family than anything else. A former friend of my youngest brother, for reasons we're not entirely sure of, turned around and made himself my brother's complete enemy. It was basic harassment at first, but it started to get increasingly violent. There were signs that he'd tried to light our mailbox post on fire, and he would sometimes throw rocks or chestnuts at the front window of the house. I understand he tried to peg our mom a few times.

Then one night, the family was awakened by the sound of an explosion. Specifically, the gas in the tank of our van, as it was set ablaze. He'd broken the windows in, poured gas all around, and set it on fire. Things got quieter after the police were investigating, but I have never, ever gotten over the fact that they never got enough evidence to press charges.

I was away at college, and didn't hear about this until a week after the fact. My family wisely kept quiet until later, both to avoid distracting me from my studies, and perhaps knowing that I would have gotten a ride down there by hook or by crook and murdered this little boy. I'm still not entirely sure I could restrain myself from breaking all his arms and legs if I ever meet him again. He no longer lives across the street, and we haven't heard from him since, apart from a couple prank calls a couple years back, but that still bothers me to this day.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Wow, that kid has major issues. Did you ever try talking to his parents.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I distinctly remember a little african american guy, 4 foot nothin, 90 pounds of nothin, who liked to talk a lot of smack, and was specifically talking smack about me one day on the basketball court. (this is not friendly banter, this is you-are-not-worth-my-time kind of bullshit.)

Feeling uppity, I, like any good child, tried ebonics on him.

"Man, Lamarr, you're so full of shit, it be coming out of your pisser!"

So he came over and growled in my face. He sensed he couldn't do much, being that he was nothin, as it were, and so he plucked my glasses off of my face and started to bend them. I told him he'd be paying for them if anything happened. He growled some more, and then wandered off and glared at me over his shoulder.

Really, I just feel humiliated that I ever thought it was a good idea to say something like that with a straight face.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Quote:

Posted by a lurker
Wow, that kid has major issues. Did you ever try talking to his parents.

Parent. Dad lives in Texas or something. And yes; his mom had absolutely no control over her kid. She also broke off all communication with everyone when the police started investigating. I think that's what prompted the move, actually.

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That "Ken" of yours is truly bastard. I could understand why people protecting you even you didn't ask them. I mean look, you have tried to settle things peacefully and what did he do? Wiping your face to floor? Anyone who saw it would be pissed off naturally. I'm touched when several friends of yours protecting you from him.

Anyway, I haven't had much experiences around extreme humiliated. I was bullied several times during childhood, being called transgender or mixture of male-female new term of sexuality (people called my face and my voice "feminine", I guess boys always have their standard about what male being is made), but well, none of them makes me humiliated in front of people anyway.

FELIPE NO

This is at school. Well we're playing this game called redneck, and the point of the game is to say,"Let me see if you're a redneck", and then slap them on the back of the neck. Well this little midget, Kyle, was playing with us and I slapped him on the back of the neck and when we come inside from recess he throws me on the ground and so I get back up and throw him into a desk, the desk overturns and lands on a girl's hand, the principal's office happens to be right by our classroom the principal walks in our classroom and we have to then go to her office, then we have to tell her the whole story and the rest of the kids get called in her office then they tell her the whole story, then the principal says she is going to suspend us for fighting and playing the redneck game, then she says she isn't going to suspend us but we have to stay in for recess for a week, then when we go to the library our gym, or music, everybody is like,"Oooooh those are the troublemakers of the school, they're the ones that almost got suspended."

And that is my story.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

It seems like I’ve tried to suppress everything bad that’s happen to me. But regardless, there are two incidents that have really gotten to me.


I was a very silly boy back then. It was 6th grade middle school and I had developed a crush on this girl for quite sometime. After a certain point she started to hate me for some reason. A talent show was coming up so I thought, why not sing something for her? I ended singing “It’s hard for me to say I’m sorry” by AZ Yet. Now, the school was divided into things called “families” ranging from family 1 through 6. The auditorium can only hold 3 families at a time so the talent show was broken down into two segments. Now, the initial show went fine. It was when she was sitting in the front row that I started to have problems. I was having anxiety issues prior to performing and they only escalated when I got up on stage. I was able to mutter a few words before walking off stage lest I throw up on the audience. I went to the nurse’s office and went home “sick” for the rest of the day.

The other one was in high school. I was in R.O.T.C. (an alternative to Physical Education circulated around Army type stuff) and we were having sergeant promotions. This was basically where they (the higher ups who are students as well) meet you individually and they ask you a series of questions. I walked into the room and they have set up a path to critique how well you march. Towards the end of the grill session, they started asking stupid personal questions that didn’t relate whether or not I deserved to be promoted. One question the commander asked was “Ok, who do you think is the cutest guy?” He was referring to the judges. The way you address another person is to say their rank and name and I only knew one of theirs. Almost immediately after I said that I had realized what I had done. They were pretty shocked that I actually chose someone and after a few more criticisms they dismissed me. You’re supposed to march out afterwards but I quickly walked out of there. I drove home, took a shower, and tried to go sleep through the crying. Even though what happens during the interviews is supposed to stay confidential, I was pretty much alienated after that.

It hurt because ever since elementary people have made fun of me for not being “man enough.” Kids would always tease me and adults would mistake me for a girl. Even today people mistakenly call me “Miss” or “Mam” despite the full blown goatee I’ve had ever since I could grow facial hair. I just gradually isolated myself from people until I graduated high school. Of course, it still hurts if it’s brought up some how but I try to ignore it and remind myself that it’s in the past.

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hey kazyl, no worries man. I experienceed the same with you during childhood as well. I do no good at sport and thankfully I was good enough in my study so my friend respected me and didnt make put me in some sort of horrible everyday-I'm-mopped-to-the-floor situation.

People who mocked people "sissy" "miss" to male youngsters are horrible. They think it's joke, but actually it's slowly making the victim have a potent of sexual-identity disorder.

I questioned my sex identity several years ago when I'm not this strong, and It was horrible time. Thankfully I could through these difficult times and it become a valuable experience if I'm to handle kids and people whom dealt same situation like me.

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My roommate during my first semester at college allowed me to hang out with her buddies. One of them was very worried about her Jewish friend and said, "But, in the Bible it says that if you don't have Jesus in your heart then you can't go to Heaven. Doesn't this mean that Jews can't go to Heaven?" Well, as a little joke, I said to her, "If that was true, then Jesus would be in Hell."

Now, all of these people were Baptist and Penacostal African-Americans, so they started saying, "Oh gurl! Oh no you didn't!" and "God bless this child!" I thought they were joking at first, until 2 days later when a 7 foot tall African American guy walks up to me, leans over and says, "Excuse me, but these ladies behind me claim that you told them that Jesus is in Hell. Is this true?" Now, being a little above 5 feet tall--and never being raised around African-Americans--I was a little freaked-out and saw the girls hiding behind the door. I tried to explain to the guy that I was trying to tell them that not all Jews go to Hell.

I told my roommate to do something about her friends (because this was finals week and I couldn't handle any more people that look like they would beat me down) and she started screaming at me. I wrote her an apology letter, and the next thing I know, the lead coordinator of the hall told me that I had to go to a psychologist on the last day of school or else I would get kicked out of college. She didn't believe that I was sane and thought I was being sarcastic. I went to the psychologist and not only was I sane, but she said that she was surprised about how well I turned out.

She tries to act friendly to me when she see's me, but it's a southern thing to do. The Jew that I was defending ended up taking the situation to her advantage and roomed with the roommate that caused the entire college to think that I was crazy. The really tall African-American guy and I are Com buddies and when we are in class or tournaments together we root for one another, so it wasn't a total loss, but everytime I see those girls or the coordinator, I almost wish I could shoot flames from my palms.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Wow, it seems that everyone has had embarrassing moments. That Ken fellow was totally unjust. I hope one day you get to find out how karma has its way with him.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

What the fuck, Crash. I can't believe you took that shit. I would have at LEAST attempted to cave the fuckers face in within the first sign of serious aggression. Never be someone's bitch especially if you think he keeps you around to be his pity thing.

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