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Ultraviolet
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XerxesTheMighty
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Old Mar 6, 2006, 02:23 AM Local time: Mar 6, 2006, 12:23 AM #1 of 37
Ultraviolet

Alright so I just got home from seeing the wonderful piece of shit movie and I have to say it was the best worst movie I have ever seen. If I could I would nominate it for best comedy of 2006. Honestly I have never laugh so hard at a movie. This movie is a perfect candidate for Mystery Science Theater and just begs to be made fun of with its multiple phallix shaped buildings, architecture that made me feel like I was a OBGYN, and its horrible dialog that litteraly made me cry laughing. Shit I'm still laughing. The best part was the credits though. There is actually someone credited as "Anten Poon." My sides are seriously aching like I just got the shit kicked out of me by ten ninjas. Anyone else see this wonderful masterpiece?

Jam it back in, in the dark.


SO SAY WE ALL

Last edited by XerxesTheMighty; Mar 6, 2006 at 02:32 AM.
*AkirA*
Now you're king of the mountain, but it's all garbage!


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 02:28 AM #2 of 37
Holy shit this movie was bad.

A friend of mine and I almost lost it when they cut to the scene of them on the merry go round.

Ive never laughed so hard and seen so many pissed off people who were moved by the "amazingly emotional" story.

There's nowhere I can't reach.
Arkhangelsk
Good to see you, England


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 02:38 AM Local time: Mar 6, 2006, 01:38 AM #3 of 37
I really don't want to see this movie. It's like Milla Jovovich rolled all of her previous roles into one super-bad movie, and I don't think I need to see it. But I think anyone who is going to see it is either going to laugh, see shit get blown up or see Milla in a skintight outfit. Are there any other reasons?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
Grundlefield Earth
I'm sorry buddy!


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 02:39 AM Local time: Mar 6, 2006, 02:39 AM #4 of 37
The only reason I would see it because William Fichtner is in it and my family knows him/related to him in a sense. Not too mention he is a good actor.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?
*AkirA*
Now you're king of the mountain, but it's all garbage!


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 02:43 AM #5 of 37
Its honestly, truly, a really bad movie. Its like a Sci Fi channel made for TV movie that found its way into theaters.

I was speaking idiomatically.
Inhert
The body may heal, the mind is not always so resilient.


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 03:04 AM #6 of 37
I liked Milla Jovovivh in 5 element and Resident Evil. I'm not sure if I want to go see it especially because of bad review and because I like her, but if I got see it, it will probably just for the action scene then the story...

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
*AkirA*
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Old Mar 6, 2006, 03:06 AM #7 of 37
No, thats whats so bad about it. The action scenes are complete garbage. There might be one decent one but thats it. Most of the action scenes you only see the resulting caranage, not the actual fight.

FELIPE NO
xman25
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Old Mar 6, 2006, 03:25 AM Local time: Mar 6, 2006, 03:25 AM #8 of 37
Here is a link to a thread in the 'Ultraviolet' message boards at the Internet Movie Database: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0370032/board/nest/37618367
It's about people laughing at the movie while they watched it.

At Rotten Tomatoes, 32 reviews have been counted. 31 rotten and 1 fresh. I guess the one reviewer was on some good stuff when he gave the movie a good review. The movie made $9,000,000 this past weekend. I haven't seen the movie myself, but I do see Razzie Awards in it's future. You have to hand it to the ad people, they made the movie look really good and fun. I was impressed with the trailer when I saw it.

xman25

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Mucknuggle
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Old Mar 6, 2006, 07:57 AM #9 of 37
This movie looks terrible. Are the action scenes good at least?

Anybody know what music plays in the trailer? I'd like to find the song with the female vocals.

Jam it back in, in the dark.


Last edited by Mucknuggle; Mar 6, 2006 at 09:05 PM.
Matias
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Old Mar 6, 2006, 08:54 AM #10 of 37
Jem - 24

That bitch can't sing to save her life, but the violins are cool :juggler: (voice remover programs FTW!).

There's nowhere I can't reach.
Dubble
The Hero of Mouseton VS The Phantom Blot!


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 09:02 AM Local time: Mar 6, 2006, 08:02 AM #11 of 37
Everyone I know who has seen this has said its a steaming pile of incoherent dung. I'm kind of curious as to how bad it is myself.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
Eleo
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Old Mar 6, 2006, 12:29 PM #12 of 37
I wanted to see it for the action scenes alone, but now that I've found out those are shit as well, I guess I have no intention to see it at all.

How ya doing, buddy?
The Plane Is A Tiger
Time Traveling Consequences


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 12:53 PM #13 of 37
Wow, I was going to just avoid this movie completely since it looked absolutely terrible, but these people talking about how hilarious it is actually makes me want to see it. I love hilariously bad movies, and it sounds like the only thing this is missing is Dean Cain. No way I'm going to pay theater prices, but this could make a great rental sometime.

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XerxesTheMighty
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Old Mar 6, 2006, 05:46 PM Local time: Mar 6, 2006, 03:46 PM #14 of 37
Originally Posted by *AkirA*
Its honestly, truly, a really bad movie. Its like a Sci Fi channel made for TV movie that found its way into theaters.
Don't insult Sci-Fi channel's movies like that! Most of them are way better then this movie! I will admit that I mainly went to see Milla in tight pants...which the movie has plenty of. But in all honesty I was laughing so damn hard I didn't really pay attention to her. I believe the best line in the movie is at the climax where the main bad delivers perhaps the funniest line: "Oh, it is so on!" Milla's response: "Yes, it is." Sweet Jesus I'm still laughing.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?


SO SAY WE ALL
DeLorean
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Old Mar 6, 2006, 05:54 PM Local time: Mar 6, 2006, 04:54 PM #15 of 37
Yes... I actually saw this WITH Xerxes, and all I have to say is, I so want to get a clip of the credits for what movie. If your name was Anetan Poon... just change your fucking name!

FELIPE NO
Echolyn
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Old Mar 6, 2006, 06:22 PM Local time: Mar 7, 2006, 01:22 AM #16 of 37
Hehe, here's hoping they won't even release this piece of crap over here in the cinemas. I'll download it though once they release it as a ts\tc to see how bad it really is, like I've done with Uwe Boll masterpoopies...

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?
Megalith
24-bit/48kHz


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 06:32 PM #17 of 37
Can't watch anything with Milla Jovovich in it without having nightmares about her nipples.

Jam it back in, in the dark.
Synthesis
Southern Cross


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 07:47 PM Local time: Mar 6, 2006, 06:47 PM #18 of 37
Wow. Definitely candidate for worst movie of the first quarter of 2006.

There's nowhere I can't reach.
Neogin
Wealth of Random Knowledge


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 07:49 PM #19 of 37
Haha, is it really that bad? I thought it would be, when I first watched the commerical, I thought it was Aoen Flux, but, heh. Glad to know someone else wasted their money on this movie.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
*AkirA*
Now you're king of the mountain, but it's all garbage!


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 08:54 PM #20 of 37
This movie has spawned some nice inside jokes if nothing else. I thought that the one good idea, the weapons, were completely wasted in this steaming pile.

How ya doing, buddy?
el jacko
nobody knows


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 09:22 PM Local time: Mar 7, 2006, 11:22 AM #21 of 37
I haven't seen the film, nor do I plan to, but isn't this like the fifth movie this year that the studios haven't let critics screen beforehand? It must be some kind of record.

How ya doing, buddy?
xSummonerYUnax
transcience


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 09:37 PM #22 of 37
..And here I am getting all excited to see Ultraviolet because I got a chance to meet Milla in person and hear her talk wonders about this movie.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
Dee
Dive for your memory


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 09:42 PM Local time: Mar 6, 2006, 09:42 PM #23 of 37
I've seen the trailer, and there are ads all over the internet about it. The trailer already gives it a faltering storyline for a movie, and just by the trailer alone it sounds trite. And the main character seems impassionate about herself. But the Jem song was pretty cool.

After seeing all these bad reviews online, I think I might pass on this one...

FELIPE NO
xSummonerYUnax
transcience


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Old Mar 6, 2006, 09:44 PM #24 of 37
Originally Posted by Dee
I've seen the trailer, and there are ads all over the internet about it. The trailer already gives it a faltering storyline for a movie, and just by the trailer alone it sounds trite. And the main character seems impassionate about herself. But the Jem song was pretty cool.

After seeing all these bad reviews online, I think I might pass on this one...
I would too, but I love Milla so I'm gonna go watch it anyway.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?
Megalith
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Old Mar 6, 2006, 09:48 PM #25 of 37
She should have also talked about how stupid the NY Comic Con was.

Jam it back in, in the dark.
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