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Crazy Welder Destroys Town
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Lukage
High Chocobo


Member 570

Level 40.69

Mar 2006


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Old Jun 19, 2006, 01:45 AM Local time: Jun 19, 2006, 01:45 AM #1 of 13
Crazy Welder Destroys Town

Obviously old, but a good read for those who love and hate capitalism.

Quote:
Never mess with an angry American......

52 year old welder Marvin Heemeyer lived in Grunbee Colorado fixing vehicle mufflers. His small repair shop was located near a concrete factory called Mountain Park. To Marvin and his neighbours' horrors, the owners of Mountain Park decided to expand the factory, forcing the people living near-by to sell their land to Mountain Park.

Sooner or later the factory's neigbhors gave up, except for Marvin. Having tried every way possible, the owners of the factory failed to acquire his land. However all the surrounding land was now owned by the factory, which resulted in Marvin's shop getting cut off from the rest of the world.

Marvin tried everything in his powers to restore justice. Obsiously, the city council and other politicians of the state were on the factory owners' evil capitalist side.

It's not suprising that Marvin lost the case to the owners, in court. After that Marvin was also given a $2500 fine for not having a connected sewer line. When paying the fine, Marvin attached a note to the check and ticket that read "Cowards".

He was just one of those who would not give up.

On the 4th of June, 2004 during a rainy day Marvin rolled out into town on a bulldozer reinforced with metal sheets. He started with the concrete factory, destroying building after building, until the factory was demolished. Then it was the city council's turn followed by the town hall, then the bank, the public library, the fire station, a warehouse, the local paper and other buildings belonging to the mayor.






Having tried to stop Heemeyer, the police finally understood that Marvin's bulldozer was unstoppable. More than 200 bullets were fired at the vehicle, causing no harm at all. The police force then decided to battle the titan with hand grenades. Once again their efforts were useless. Later a vehicle rigged with explosives was put in Marvin's path to destruction, it also had little luck in stopping him.




Marvin returned fire using two semi-automatic .23 caliber rifles and a single .50 caliber semi-automatic rifle through specially designed holes in the vehicle's front, left and right sides.

All the police were able to do, was evacuate 1500 inhabitants (the town's population was 2200) and block all the roads, including a federal highway that lead to the town.

Marvin's war ended at 4:23 PM.

Having just finished destroying the Gambles Mall, the bulldozer suddenly stopped. The only thing that could be heard coming from Marvin's death machine was smoke out of a damaged radiator.

At first the police officers were too afraid to approach the thing. Trying to get Marvin out of his fortress, they had to make a hole in the armor. When they finally got through, Marvin was allready dead. He wasn't going to get into the enemy's hands alive.

Despite the great damage to property (13 buildings were destroyed, most requiring hundreds of thousands of dollars to be replaced), no one besides Heemeyer was injured; observers noted that Heemeyer appeared to go out of his way to avoid injury to bystanders.

The governor said that the city looked as if a tornado had just gone through.

Later an investigation was carried out. It was discovered that Marvin's creation was so strong that even a powerful artillery blow would only cause minor damage. The bulldozer was totally covered in sheet metal, with each piece being at least half an inch thick. In places, the vehicle's armor was over one foot thick, consisting of concrete sandwiched between sheets of steel to make ad-hoc composite armor.






To fit the bulldozer with this shell, Marvin had to use a self-made crane. "Lowering the protective armor onto the vehicle, Marvin knew he wouldn't be able to get out"- said police officials.

Although Marvin packed the interior with supplies such as water, food, ammo and a gasmask. To control the killdozer, Marvin used 3 monitors and a couple of video cameras. In an event of the cameras being blinded by dust, they were fitted with air compressors.

It took Marvin 2 months to design the Killdozer, and according to sources, 1.5 years to build it.

"He was a fine lad", - said the people that were close to Marvin. "They shouldn't have made him angry". "If he was your friend, he was your best friend. And if he was your enemy, well he was your worst and most dangerous enemy." - said Marvins friends.






Jam it back in, in the dark.
WolfDemon
Grub Killer


Member 737

Level 27.82

Mar 2006


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Old Jun 19, 2006, 02:22 AM Local time: Jun 18, 2006, 11:22 PM #2 of 13
Shagohod comin liek whut.

There's nowhere I can't reach.
Solis
Wonderful Chocobo


Member 559

Level 20.83

Mar 2006


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Old Jun 19, 2006, 02:38 AM Local time: Jun 19, 2006, 02:38 AM #3 of 13
Wow, quite an endevor. He must've been quite an engineer to design something like that, and really his dedication was remarkable. Sometimes anger is the only force more motivating than passion.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.
McCloud
Currently hates his username.


Member 4413

Level 10.62

Apr 2006


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Old Jun 19, 2006, 05:50 AM Local time: Jun 19, 2006, 04:50 AM #4 of 13
*Stands and salutes*

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?
The above statements may or may not be true.
PiccoloNamek
Lunar Delta Cybernetics


Member 704

Level 31.89

Mar 2006


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Old Jun 19, 2006, 06:03 AM Local time: Jun 19, 2006, 04:03 AM #5 of 13
Awesome. Simply awesome. *salute*

I was speaking idiomatically.



CryHavoc
Catherine Bell <3


Member 8369

Level 18.10

Jun 2006


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Old Jun 19, 2006, 06:11 AM Local time: Jun 19, 2006, 02:11 PM #6 of 13
I second that.. *Sal-fuckin'-ute*

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?
jPokalypse
Wark!


Member 1358

Level 3.20

Mar 2006


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Old Jun 19, 2006, 09:30 AM Local time: Jun 19, 2006, 02:30 PM #7 of 13
Wow this guy had the skills and the guts. What a legend!

FELIPE NO
Mojougwe
Wonderful Chocobo


Member 255

Level 20.88

Mar 2006


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Old Jun 19, 2006, 11:17 AM #8 of 13
Can I buy the killdozer on ebay?! Thisis probably one of the best reads I've ever come across. Despite the author's misspellings here and there.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?
Koneko
Procrastinating Artist Extraordinaire


Member 1046

Level 9.94

Mar 2006


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Old Jun 19, 2006, 07:13 PM Local time: Jun 19, 2006, 05:13 PM #9 of 13
I feel bad that he felt he had to do that, but I salute his ingenuity and craftsmanship.

Jam it back in, in the dark.


"I reject your reality and subsitute my own!"
scotty
I'm not your friend, buddy...


Member 649

Level 24.90

Mar 2006


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Old Jun 19, 2006, 07:22 PM Local time: Jun 19, 2006, 04:22 PM #10 of 13
sweet best way to die, going all grand theft auto on the town! I wonder how he died anyways, did he kill himself?

There's nowhere I can't reach.
Koneko
Procrastinating Artist Extraordinaire


Member 1046

Level 9.94

Mar 2006


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Old Jun 19, 2006, 07:33 PM Local time: Jun 19, 2006, 05:33 PM #11 of 13
From what I read about it after reading this read, he took his own life with a pistol he had after the radiator failed and the killdozer came to a halt. It took the police a few hours to remove the armor to get to his body.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.


"I reject your reality and subsitute my own!"
SemperFidelis
Good Chocobo


Member 555

Level 18.44

Mar 2006


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Old Jun 19, 2006, 08:18 PM #12 of 13
God. Can't deny it, this guy is one ambitious fuck. I bet if he concentrated his efforts towards something amazing, he would have been one rich fuck. He just couldn't adapt and was overcame by circumstances .

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?
"We Stole the Eagle from the Air Force, the Anchor from the Navy, and the Rope from the Army. On the seventh day, while God rested, we over-ran his perimeter and stole the globe, and we've been running the show ever since. We live like soldiers, talk like sailors, and slap the hell out of both of them. WARRIORS BY DAY, LOVERS BY NIGHT, PROFESSIONALS BY CHOICE, AND MARINES BY THE GRACE OF GOD."
Spatula
Politically Incorrect


Member 617

Level 43.41

Mar 2006


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Old Jun 19, 2006, 08:39 PM Local time: Jun 19, 2006, 06:39 PM #13 of 13
Props to Marvin.

Quote:
Later a vehicle rigged with explosives was put in Marvin's path to destruction, it also had little luck in stopping him.
Holy shit.

I was speaking idiomatically.

- What we all do best -
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