You know you're an expat kid in the middle east (or have been) when...

You Know You're an Expat Kid in the Middle East or Have Been When...

1. You can't answer the question, "Where are you from?" (And when you do, you get into an elaborate conversation that gets everyone confused and/or makes you sound very spoiled.)
2. You flew before you could walk.
3. You have a passport, but no driver's license.
4. You think California is cold.
5. You watch National Geographic specials and recognize someone.
6. You run into someone you know at every airport.
7. Conversations with friends take place at 6:00 in the morning or 10:00 at night.
8. Your life story uses the phrase "Then we went to..." five times.
9. You can speak with authority about the quality of various international airlines.
10. You feel self conscious around all white people.
11. You get offended when someone turns down an offer for food.
12. You live at school and go home for vacation.
13. You treasure pork and root beer as highly-valued commodities.
14. You have ever had to wait for prayer call to be over to finish shopping.
15. You are fascinated by any wildlife bigger than a gecko.
16. You know the true meaning of "football." (and in your mind can hear the shout, "GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!")
17. You know that it truly is a small world.
18. You have ever gone to the "hammam" or endured a "shamal."
19. You get all the jokes in Aladdin.
20. Rain is still one of the most wonderful sounds in the world.
21. You haggle with the checkout clerk for a lower price.
22. Your wardrobe can only handle two seasons: hot and warm.
23. Your school memories include duck-and-cover drills.
24. You are used to being stared at.
25. You think VISA is a document stamped in your passport, and not a plastic card you carry in your wallet.
26. You call a chicken burrito a "shwarma."
27. Your dorm room/apartment/living room looks a little like a museum with all the "exotic" things you have around.
28. You've heard of or tried "hubbly bubbly."
29. You've woken up in the middle of the night to watch the Superbowl on cable.
30. You have sat in a "men's" or "women's" section in an airport, hospital, or restaurant.
31. You know the geography of the rest of the world, but you don't know the geography of your own country. (Isn't Philadelphia its own state?)
32. Your best friends are from 5 different countries.
33. You're spoiled. You know it. You're VERY spoiled.
34. You ask your roommate when the houseboy is scheduled to come clean.
35. You have never spent a summer with your friends from high school because you all go back to your home town/state/country June - August
36. Camping involves duning, getting stuck, and counting how many camels you saw.
37. A sports tournament involves flying to another country in the Middle East.
38. You remember when the first McDonalds in your country had its grand opening.
39. You got days off school for Christian and Muslim holidays.
40. You secretely wished the rulers of other Middle Eastern countries would die so that you got days off school.
41. Not being able to eat in public during the day during the holy month of Ramadan.
42. Traveling to the states required buying candy, CDs, and Abercrombie and Fitch clothing for your friends back overseas.
43. You are used to giving directions according to landmarks, not street names.
44. It's normal to wake up and have four or more Pakistani men fixing your AC.
45. You didn't know how to do your own laundry until you left for college.
46. How come the houses in America don't have servants quarters?
47. You are used to seeing Arabic commercials dubbed in British English about Lux soap, Carnation condensed milk and Dove shampoo.
48. Seeing police drive on the shoulder of the road and cut people is not unusual.
49. You understand that being addressed as "ma'am/sir" by Filipinos is not an insult.
50. You know someone is referring to Pepsi when they say "Bebzi".
51. Having a walled in, cement house is standard.
52. Ford Explorer sized cars seem small compared to Toyota Land Cruisers and Nissan Patrols

LOL - I was laughing so hard at some of these - they're too true!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Locke

5. You watch National Geographic specials and recognize someone.

25. You think VISA is a document stamped in your passport, and not a plastic card you carry in your wallet.

These were the two I laughed at the most. I'll admit though, I didn't even understand a lot of them (maybe I should go look up what the hell an expat kid even is).

Most amazing jew boots

Expatriate maybe? I didn't think it was that funny. Sounds like it applies to any rich, refined person.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Locke

12. You live at school and go home for vacation.

College for me.

Quote:

19. You get all the jokes in Aladdin.

There were jokes?! Okay--I got them anyway. But did any of you recognize Cab Calloway? Hmmm?

Quote:

20. Rain is still one of the most wonderful sounds in the world.

I believe that anyway.

Quote:

29. You've woken up in the middle of the night to watch the Superbowl on cable.

Okay--this one's funny.

Quote:

31. You know the geography of the rest of the world, but you don't know the geography of your own country. (Isn't Philadelphia its own state?)

Sadly, this is true for a lot of kids.

Quote:

43. You are used to giving directions according to landmarks, not street names.

I do this anyway. It's easier. Especially for those who suck at Geography....

So, I guess there are a lot of expats who have never left the country....

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I didn't really think it was THAT funny, I chuckeled a couple of times, but these one-liners are not really my thing.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Leknaat - just a couple of notes

For the sound of rain - when the average summer temperature is in the high 40s, low 50s, with 100% humidity, the soud of rain is the most beautiful thing in the world, especially since it rarely ever rains (there's been years without rain in Dubai, and even when it did rain, it was only once or twice a year) - we'd even be allowed to run out of class and play in the rain (even in our senior year).

As for the directions - the thing is, there's no such thing as street names in most middle eastern countries - and even if there are (We used to live on the corner of 52A/b and 84 street), noone knows about them, they're not labelled on maps, and they're not aligned with the cardinal directions (not straight either). So trying to tell someone to head north on xxx doesn't work at all.

The one I laughed hardest at was #40 - it's waaay too true, there were monthly rumors being spread aroud Dubai that one ruler or anthoer had died :P

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Hey was wondering what exactly is an expat kid?
Maybe thats why I didn't really like them.

FELIPE NO

Man. About 80% of these are spot-on. Two of my better friends on-campus are from Saudi Arabia. But they aren't in-touch with politics over there and quite love the western world. One is a Sunni, the other is a Shiite, and they're best friends, for reference.

But a few days ago during finals, one of them asked me if it was gonna rain again soon. I kinda paused, looked away from my book and looked at him, saying "no, why?" He responded "rain sounds wonderful, that's why."

Neither of them have coats. Just light jackets. Neither ever wear shorts (but that applies to me as well). Plus, they do get stared at a lot. Especially this other guy. A third one who is quite neat, but he's heading back to his country soon due to grades. It was really cold one morning, so he walked around campus in a turban. Boy-howdy did he get some stares...

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?