[Wii] Wii Fat

WHY FUT

Developer: Accolade
Publisher: Phoenix Games
Release date: It's out everywhere except America (19th)



This got thrown through my front window this morning with a death threat taped to it. "You will eventually die one day." I got so scared I had some breakfast to calm myself down. Bacon and eggs mixed in my bowl of chocolate cereal with nine tablespoons of sugar and banana custard as a suitable replacement for milk, good stuff.


INFERNAL IS ALL SET.

I've only put about an hour into it so far but ssh ssh, here's some text! It starts off with a talking Wii Balance Board demon thing asking you sexy questions like how tall you are etc. Then you do some basic 'stand up straight fgt, no you've got too much weight distributed on your left leg, you're doing it all wrong fuck salt'. Apparently my BMI is 10 more than it should be. That's a disaster. Not my BMI!

Then you set a goal of how much weight you want to lose and in what sort of time frame. I said I wanted to lose 5kg a week for lol and the talking Wii Balance Board had a cry saying that could kill me or something. You can choose from a male or female trainer after the initial set-up, I chose the one with the biggest tits. Awaaay you gooooo.

The games/exercises/e-Reader cards are broken up into different categories like muscle, balance, something.. something and so forth. I jumped straight into 'Wii Jogging' because it looked awesome from the videos. This one doesn't even actually use the Balance Board, you just jog on the spot with the Wii Remote in your pocket. It's the most pointless of all, really. You could just jog on the spot without spending $150.

Basically, your Mii jogs around this nice looking island, you've gotta try and keep a certain speed. Like a minute or so into it, the Mr. T Mii ran up beside me with this gigantic ANGRY expression on his face, then he ran past me and waved while smiling. It was awesome, I could barely keep up running because I was laughing too much. Some dogs ran past me eventually, followed by nuttyturnip's Mii looking frantic with an empty leesh. There seems to be a fair bit to keep you entertained on-screen, and you can unlock a whole load of different paths to take around the island.



Next up, uh, tight rope walking! I found this one pretty difficult, you've gotta take careful steps as you walk across to reach the next building. I was all nah let me run across BOM, BOM BOM BOM. Lean too far to one side and your Mii has a spaz. There's also these weird things that look like mousers from TMNT that you've gotta jump over.

There's also a marble rolling game where you tilt the board around with the power of your balance, this gets extremely difficult extremely fast. I only made it to level 4. Yay! Uuuummmm ooooh, skiing. You've gotta shift yourself left and right to get between the flags. I hope you eventually unlock much harder difficulties for this, because it was piss easy.



^^ People throw giant panda heads (?!) and shoes at you every now and then. But yeah, seems to be a lot to do in here. Most of the mini-games were still locked, you unlock stuff based on how much time you put into the game. The board itself is better than I thought it'd be, it's very precise. Also comes with extendo legs for those with carpet floors, because according to the manual it'll explode if the bottom of it so much as touches carpet. And it'll come back as a zombie and kill your friends and family after you're gone. I don't know how effective this thing's really going to be, but it's fun!



Wii Fuck hurf gurf (wow the trainers sort of remind me of Killer7)

DISCUSS?!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

goddamnit, infernal, this is the funniest thing I've read all week why don't i come to gamingforce more often

There's nowhere I can't reach.

May I just say, in terms of graphics: Wii Fit > Crysis/Bioshock whatever. Seriously. Kicks ass. The details in that last screenshot are scary realistic. BUT SERIOUSLY NOW the game mechanics look really spot-on in this game. Looks fun enough to boot, and I think it would be a good party game?? ("hay guys watch me do push ups--o no i can only do 2 lmao" *party attendants leave in disgust*)

This game actually sounds pretty sweet, but $150 AUD?! Christ, that's brutal. But I can see the market ploy: I will buy this game, get all fit and beefed up, and then be a huge success in the real world! 8-) Cool as.

Quote:

I said I wanted to lose 5kg a week for lol and the talking Wii Balance Board had a cry saying that could kill me or something.

MAJOR lol over here. ='D Robot: "Why did they program us to feel sadness?!"

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Hahaha that'd be the best party ever. Yeah, the price is pretty retarded. I think places like JB Hi-Fi are SLASHING (SWISH SWOOSH) it to a mere... $120 for the first week or so.

Originally Posted by bag0k

why don't i come to gamingforce more often

YES, WHY DON'T YOU? >=(

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I saw the WiiFit Ad on a bus stop bench thing the other day and thought, "I'm more excited about the WiiFit outfit that girl is wearing in that picture than the actual game hardware..."

The games that are out for the WiiFit in Japan seem very inticing. I just hope what we'll get here in America would be the same way.

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Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy uh, parents bought this game. Is it okay to call this a game? They bought this product.

Anyway, I had the chance to try it, so I gave it a shot for the first time today and I must say it's actually fun. I really wish they wouldn't lock stuff though, that seems extremely weird considering the nature of the product. I hate locked content in proper games like Smash Bros, why would they want to do it in a non-game like this? Isn't the point to have all kinds of exercises and trainings at your disposal?

That minor complaint aside I really enjoyed it and I feel like it could really be a good workout as well. And, I think with some friends and some drinks, some of the "exercises" could make awesome games (especially the balancing-tightrope game!). I'll find out next weekend perhaps!

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Quote:

There seems to be a fair bit to keep you entertained on-screen, and you can unlock a whole load of different paths to take around the island.

If you speed up the game is all "NOW FOLLOW THE DOG!" and the dog goes on all sorts of wonderful adventures to different places.

I played it at a friends house and we had all kinds of fun laughing at each otehr's Yoga poses. I scored a big Zero on the "Do a tree" one or whatever. Turns out I have absolutely no balance in my right leg (I'm right handed too, go figure) while my left was a pillar of strength.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by surasshu

Anyway, I had the chance to try it, so I gave it a shot for the first time today and I must say it's actually fun. I really wish they wouldn't lock stuff though, that seems extremely weird considering the nature of the product. I hate locked content in proper games like Smash Bros, why would they want to do it in a non-game like this? Isn't the point to have all kinds of exercises and trainings at your disposal?

Well if the promo video is to be believed, the game initially locks you out of activities that might be "too challenging" for you. The game has to see that you can do certain things, and then it's all like "okay dude, go rip that up!"

I'm actually really interested in this game just for the yoga stuff, but I don't know if I want to plop down the money right now. I'll probably wait until my friend buys it and try it out at his house.
I think it comes out here in the States next week, right? Something like that.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Yoga always screws me over, because the trainer's all "WOW YOU'RE SHAKING A BIT" "WOW YOUR POSTURE IS GOOD" "WOW" "WOW" "WOW" every half a second and I always forget to reach for the mute button.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Matt

Well if the promo video is to be believed, the game initially locks you out of activities that might be "too challenging" for you. The game has to see that you can do certain things, and then it's all like "okay dude, go rip that up!"

Hmm... I guess? Good thing I'm out of shape, otherwise it would be more bothersome! As you do certain exercises the game goes "You're getting good at this!" and then you set more repeats (you know, instead of pressing the "retry" button). But the unlocking of new activities seems to be based purely on how much time you put into the game.

Anyway, I'm starting to unlock them so it's not like you have to spend an eternity to do it, and I have to say, I can really tell the difference already after a week or so of working out. I'm definitely getting into better shape thanks to Wii Fit. Either that means I'm horribly, horribly out of shape, or it's more effective than I expected. Or both!

Both the trainers are a bit weird, the woman is sort of abusive unless you're perfect "Well, those were pretty good twists, but you weren't centered you fat fucker. Cheers!", and the guy... I guess he's okay. Do they have British accents in the American version too? That's what I want to know.

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NOT OUT IN THE US UNTIL THE 19TH? BUT WE'RE SO FAT. WHY, JAPAN. WIIIIIIIIII

surasshu --
How's the locking counter-intuitive? Encourages folks to play more and they get WII-FIT~

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

OBESE PEOPLE CANNOT PLAY THIS GAME DUE TO A) THE BOARD BREAKING WHEN THEY STEP ON IT AND B) HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE OCCURANCE WHEN THEY TRY TO IMITATE YOGA POSTURES.

On the other hand, may not have a Wii, but seriously considering getting one due to this.

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Darwinism with a Wiimote, if you will.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Garr

As wrong as it sounds, I'm actually kind of looking forward to hearing about morbidly obese people getting killed by this thing, throwing them into cardiac arrest because the exercise is just too much.

You don't think the act of hooking up Wii Fit is to do that to them to begin with?

(I sound evil because of joining in on this)

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I'm probably the most "non obese looking fat guy that should be obese" person in these forums. I'm up to 330lbs. Gonna give this thing a shot and hope I don't destroy various objects in the process.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Manny Biggz

I'm up to 330lbs.

Surely that exceeds the weight limits on the Board.
It has weight limits, right?
Or is it made out of some kind of Kevlar, making it not only weight proof but bullet proof as well?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Matt

Surely that exceeds the weight limits on the Board.
It has weight limits, right?

As far as I know, it has a weight limit of 300lbs.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Gechmir

surasshu --
How's the locking counter-intuitive? Encourages folks to play more and they get WII-FIT~

It's not really counter-intuitive so much as I was expecting more of a "here's what you can do on a wii board, try which ones you like" kinda thing, like a traditional workout device would have. I don't find unlocking as such to be fun, and I don't think I'm alone in that--but it features prominently in a lot of games. I mean, I understand the unlocking thing better in the more minigame-esque segments of Wii Fit, but the Yoga/Muscle exercises are really quite raw workout stuff, so I'd like to be able to check them all out right away. Anyway, not a big deal, and it does motivate me to put more time in!

Has anyone unlocked/played the Zazen game? I don't know if I'm doing it wrong or if I'm too light or if I just suck monkey ass, but I can't get that to go over 30 seconds no matter what.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by DarthSavior

As far as I know, it has a weight limit of 300lbs.

Means he just needs to lose 30 pounds then. Cheaper alternative to the board would be a pair of rubber shoes and just eating salads.

Then he can use the board.

Also what, locked stuff, in the software? Gay.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Manny Biggz

I'm probably the most "non obese looking fat guy that should be obese" person in these forums. I'm up to 330lbs. Gonna give this thing a shot and hope I don't destroy various objects in the process.

I think you'll be happy to know that the box does say it has a 330 lb weight limit.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Mo0

I think you'll be happy to know that the box does say it has a 330 lb weight limit.

Amazing. It's like they're spying on me...

I've been doing my fair share of jogging and eating low fat/high protein foods. The weather has been getting really hectic though, so figure I can use this to make at home exercises more entertaining.

I was speaking idiomatically.

lol I'll do a fatty challenge with you guys if you agree to it. I wasn't planning on getting this game but the sudden idea amuses me greatly. =')

How ya doing, buddy?

That would be awesome, Acer. I'm planning to pick this up today if I can find it, and having some other fat folks to compete against would keep me motivated to continue playing.

FELIPE NO

I'm down too. There's just a slight chance that I won't be able to get it any time soon. But if I do, count me in!

P.S: Here's a link to a match where you can see my size. I've been told several times that i look like I should be 250 lbs. I guess it should be comforting to hear that.

YouTube - Manny Biggz -vs- Mase

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Got the game, waited outside a Target at 6:30 until it opened at 8:00.

Pretty fun device, and (surprisingly) the Yoga and Strength training exercises actually make you build up a sweat. That Yoga "Tree" pose on the cover of the game is fucking BRUTAL. You have to keep that for a good 30-40 seconds with each leg and stay within the "balance circle" on the screen, it's tough.

The way that the game tracks your center of balance for each exercise makes doing mundane things like squats interesting. It gives a "high score" feeling to exercise, which (if people actually play this game more than a week) will lead to a lot of Americans getting healthy. Imagine that, Nintendo improving the health of millions of Americans? It's a pretty crazy dream, but it's possible.

Some people have mentioned that the game could use a "workout routine" mode. I definitely agree. That would probably be the only main addition I'd make at this time, mainly because people could just do 3 or 4 of the minigames at random and not get a full workout. Perhaps Nintendo could offer sheets on its WiiFit website that you could print out and check off.

22.7 BMI, though, booyah.

Jam it back in, in the dark.