Research suggests men are clueless when it comes to women.

Good news guys, apparently we're to blame for us reading women incorrectly. Luckily, we are given this revelation by a woman, in this classy, not-at-all male-bashing* article

Clueless Guys Can't Read Women | LiveScience

Quote:

Clueless Guys Can't Read Women

By Jeanna Bryner, LiveScience Staff Writer

Research finds that guys have trouble reading non-verbal cues and often mistake a friendly smile to mean sexual interest.

More often than not, guys interpret even friendly cues, such as a subtle smile from a gal, as a sexual come-on, and a new study discovers why: Guys are clueless.

More precisely, they are somewhat oblivious to the emotional subtleties of non-verbal cues, according to a new study of college students.

"Young men just find it difficult to tell the difference between women who are being friendly and women who are interested in something more," said lead researcher Coreen Farris of Indiana University's Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences.

This "lost in translation" phenomenon plays out in the real world, with about 70 percent of college women reporting an experience in which a guy mistook her friendliness for a sexual come-on, Farris said.

Some might think the results come down to "boys being boys," and so even the slightest female interest sparks sexual fantasy. But the study, to be detailed in the April issue of the journal Psychological Science, also found that it goes both ways for guys — they mistake females' sexual signals as friendly ones. The researchers suggest guys have trouble noticing and interpreting the subtleties of non-verbal cues, in either direction.

The study's funding came from the National Institutes of Mental Health and the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.

Flirting or not?

To unravel it all, Farris and her colleagues examined non-verbal communication in a group of 280 undergraduates, both men and women with an average age of 20 years old.

The students viewed images of women on a computer screen and had to categorize each as friendly, sexually interested, sad or rejecting. Each student reported on 280 photographs, which had been sorted previously into one of the categories based on surveys completed by different groups of students.

Overall, women categorized more images correctly than men did. When it came to friendly gestures, men were more likely than women to interpret these to mean sexual interest.

More surprising, the researchers found guys were also confused by sexual cues. When images of gals meant to show allure flashed onto the screen, male students mistook the allure as amicable signals.

So ladies trying to brush off a guy at work or the gym may need to be, uh, more direct. Men in the study also had more trouble than women distinguishing between sadness and rejection.

Programmed for sex

The results help to tease out the underlying causes of guys' flirt-or-not mistakes. One common explanation for reports of men taking a friendly gesture as "she wants me," is based on men's inherent interest in sex, which is thought to result from their biology as well as their upbringing.

Following this idea, men and women would be aware of the same behavioral cues, but men would have a lower threshold for what qualifies as sexual interest. In contrast, women would wait for compelling evidence before labeling a behavior as sexual interest.

However, Farris and her colleagues didn't find this to be the case. Rather than seeing the world through sex-colored glasses, men seemed just to have blurry vision of sorts, overall. For instance, the college guys sometimes mistook sexual advances as pal-like gestures.

"I would say that there are many factors that could relate to men demonstrating insensitivity to women's subtle non-verbal cues," said Pamela McAuslan, associate professor of psychology at the University of Michigan-Dearborn, who was not involved in the current study. These factors would include socialization, gender roles and gender stereotypes, she said.

For instance, "women are supposed to be the communicators, concerned with relationships and others ... men are supposed to be less concerned with communication and to be constantly alert for sexual opportunities," McAuslan said. "This could mean that men in general may be less sensitive to subtle non-verbal behavior than women."

That doesn't mean such men can't learn to read cues or that all men are clueless decoders of women's gestures.

"These are average differences. Some men are very skilled at reading affective cues," Farris told LiveScience, "and some women find the task challenging."

Communication is a two-way street. To simply blame men is an exercise in futility. I often mistake signals from women but I don't think it's because I'm clueless. Half the time it's women sending mixed signals at ME. I wouldn't go so far as to say women are totally to blame, but if you're sending signals that 70% of your audience is misinterpreting, I would say the fault lies more with the sender.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I call bullshit. I don't think the interpretation of the study by this author has anything to do with non-verbal communication at all.

The following passage gives away the agenda....

Originally Posted by article

The results help to tease out the underlying causes of guys' flirt-or-not mistakes. One common explanation for reports of men taking a friendly gesture as "she wants me," is based on men's inherent interest in sex, which is thought to result from their biology as well as their upbringing.

Following this idea, men and women would be aware of the same behavioral cues, but men would have a lower threshold for what qualifies as sexual interest. In contrast, women would wait for compelling evidence before labeling a behavior as sexual interest.

However, Farris and her colleagues didn't find this to be the case. ........

"I would say that there are many factors that could relate to men demonstrating insensitivity to women's subtle non-verbal cues," said Pamela McAuslan, associate professor of psychology at the University of Michigan-Dearborn, who was not involved in the current study. These factors would include socialization, gender roles and gender stereotypes, she said.

Anyone who has spent any amount of time around feminists know that gender as a social construct instead of a biological instinct is a pillar of modern feminism thought.

Oh no, they're using science to justify a political ideology!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

This is utter truth. I know this because I know one guy who says, "Yeaaaaah buddy! She WANTS my cock!" about every girl who smiles at him. My research is infallible.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Quote:

The students viewed images of women on a computer screen and had to categorize each as friendly, sexually interested, sad or rejecting. Each student reported on 280 photographs, which had been sorted previously into one of the categories based on surveys completed by different groups of students.

Overall, women categorized more images correctly than men did. When it came to friendly gestures, men were more likely than women to interpret these to mean sexual interest.

So, wait, they're basing the survey group's decisions based upon a previous survey of students, the exact people they're trying to show are poor communicators?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Don't most men admit to being clueless when it comes to women anyway? o_O

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Sian

Don't most men admit to being clueless when it comes to women anyway? o_O

No. Most men who are completely socially inept will say this. It's a way of making up for the fact they have no idea how to interact with people. "I'm bad with women because I don't understand them."

I've never had a problem understanding women. They're not all that different from men.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Men are about as clueless to reading non-verbal signals as women are obsessive about the possibility that something was a signal. Honest to god I have listened to a friend of mine obsess for hours about whether the fact that a guy she knew nodded at her in passing in the hall was a signal or not. Seriously, two and a half hours of my life wasted away. Women are just generally more detail oriented then men so they see a lot more being communicated through simple gestures then guys do. Neither is right or wrong, just different.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Denicalis

I've never had a problem understanding women. They're not all that different from men.

For you. I imagine that you "get" women. You know how to deal with them. Why? Because you care to.

I don't think women are complicated at all. Maybe it's because I am a female. Who knows. But I've always thought that if you care to pay attention to patterns and behaviors, you can also "understand" us. Most men don't seem to care about making a genuine effort on the learning bit.

Women often say that MEN are complicated. They're not, if you're willing to communicate, take some extra time to think about a perspective, so on, so forth.

Communication, I suppose, is the most important.

((I've always been a lot better at communicating with men than women. Maybe it has to do with my upbringing and how my mind works. *SHRUG*))

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

There are no universal body language signals, contrary to some peoples belief (e.g. the writer of this article), and I just get irritated when people think you should notice some of these ridiculous "signals". If for some reason the recipient of these "love signals" doesn't catch on it's not in any way his or her fault, in that case, it's the sender not being clear enough. If sending very subtle signals doesn't let the guy/girl know that you like her/him, be less subtle and just go on harder and tell her/him that you like them and don't complain about it. Heck, not all men/women are experienced in this field, and I can say myself that I tend to have hard time understanding signals like this at times, I guess it can be because of a lack of experience, but I can't help that can I?

If you want someone to understand, just be more clear about it. There's no other way, I guess.

How ya doing, buddy?

I guess I'm kinda guilty about not being able to read signals. But I more just don't notice them then misread them. And it's not like women are really any better. Basicly any girl I've ever liked never noticed inspite of how obvious I would make it. I mean I'd be so obvious that anyone else observing us would notice but the girl wouldn't. I think maybe people don't notice those kind of signals if it's not someone they're interested in? I think they'd also probably more likely to misread friendly signals if they're coming from someone they like to. There are just way too many factors that this "research" doesn't take into consideration.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The only way this research would be close to valid for me would be if they had hetero and homosexual men and women reading signals from the same sex. Just doing (presumably) straight people reading the opposite sex doesn't seem throrogh enough. If there was a large descrepency in same sex readings vs. opposite sex readings THEN and only then would that give some credibility to this.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I know lots of guys that think every smile, a simple hug or even that they happened to look in their general direction, is a sign that a girl is into them. Not to say that I haven't been guilty of those types of thoughts myself either, but thoughts are only one piece of the puzzle. I don't act on those 'signals' every single time. In fact, I don't act usually until I have some form of confirmation. But then, even then you can be wrong cause like sprout said, some girls just give plain mixed up messages. Freaking retarded.

*Also, the whole time reading this thread and typing this post, there was a video of dancing anime cheerleaders or something playing in the corner. Hooray for april fools day =P"

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I actually know a lot of girls who interpret every look/smile/hello/wave as "he's interested in me." Three of my closest friends actually will tell me that some guy in a car, driving down the street, was checking them out. What I see is somebody glancing about. They will almost always say something like, "That guy was checking us/you/me out." If I propose that he might have...I don't know...just turned his head while waiting for the stoplight to change, they'll shoot me down and say that I don't know how to read men.

It's true, I don't know how to read men in a romantic sense...but I sure as hell know how to read men in everyday life. And 95% of the time, these guys are just being human, not flirting. But whatever.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

((I've always been a lot better at communicating with men than women. Maybe it has to do with my upbringing and how my mind works. *SHRUG*))

Same here, for the most part. I'm excellent at being friends and hanging out with men, but anything beyond that and I flounder about hopelessly.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Miscommunication goes both ways. Men and women naturally communicate differently but there are some people who happen to communicate like the other gender and therefore end up being slightly more intuitive. However, no one's a mind reader, aren't we all clueless when it comes to something we don't know? Unless it's my sister or my husband, I can't predict what someone is going to do or what they mean with non-verbal cues unless it's obvious.

Research like this bugs me.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Sian

Don't most men admit to being clueless when it comes to women anyway? o_O

The smarter men who understand women will do so. Because most women will find convenience in going about believing the above statement and living by it. Thus, the men whom are truly intelligent, will shut their mouths about the subject, say they know nothing of it, and opt to listen to the female so that they can move on to a different subject.

Key thing, guys. Active LISTENING is 98% of the battle. If you can overcome this step and learn to do this well, I shit you not, not only will you get laid in every other city you come across but you will make big money in customer service / sales positions. The other 2% is tact, style, and charisma.

FELIPE NO

Nobody can understand women. Not even women. They think they know their place, but they don't. Men think they understand what women say, but all they think about is sex.

So yeah, I think this research is just stating a common fact that's been going on around for decades.

Also, it's much better talking to someone rather than giving them a wink. A wink may mean a lot of things. Why not go direct to the point? Which is a lot easier said than done.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Analyzing body language is impossible. Whatever happened to the notion that everyone is different? So every woman that tosses her hair around me, i'm supposed to realize that she's sending me a signal?

Let's be logical here, if you like someone, tell them the truth. Why play games and hope that person catches on? Isn't that hoping for too much, I mean, we're only human here. Sadly, these are the harsh realities of society today, you either pick up on a signal, or get left behind.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Managomous

Analyzing body language is impossible. Whatever happened to the notion that everyone is different? So every woman that tosses her hair around me, i'm supposed to realize that she's sending me a signal?

I don't believe anyone said anything like that. If you have trouble reading body language, perhaps you have a problem with communication in general.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Managomous

Analyzing body language is impossible. Whatever happened to the notion that everyone is different? So every woman that tosses her hair around me, i'm supposed to realize that she's sending me a signal?

Yea, see, body language is a little more complex than that. Consider conditions, circumstances, whatever is surrounding a situation. (In other words, use your fucking head) Most body language is unnoticed to the person performing the actions.

Just because a woman tosses her hair when she walks by you doesn't mean she wants you. It means she wanted to toss her hair.

Things aren't always so black and white. The sooner you start paying attention, using your head to put the pieces together, and actually give a good goddamn about understanding (instead of plugging your ears and saying LA LA LA), you're not going very far.

Quote:

Let's be logical here, if you like someone, tell them the truth. Why play games and hope that person catches on? Isn't that hoping for too much, I mean, we're only human here. Sadly, these are the harsh realities of society today, you either pick up on a signal, or get left behind.

Again, things aren't always so black and white.

For example, in a work place, two people maybe be VERY attracted to each other (and send each other signals), but it would behoove them not to let on that they were seeing each other or what have you.

"Signals," as I guess we're calling them, are not always intentional either.

Hair flips, lip-licking, things like this are often subconscious gestures. It's not like a woman always INTENTIONALLY hair-flips when she thinks it's the right time.

It's all about the subtleties.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Quote:

Research suggests men are clueless when it comes to women

LeHah suggests that this research was a waste of money, since everyone knew this already.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I don't try to read women anyway. I'm not into that whole "signal" deal. I've always been up front and open about things, and I'd like to think women can be too. Luckily, I've met women who are like that.

But I don't have really any ego, so I pretty much never have looked or talked to a girl and assumed she liked me.

I was speaking idiomatically.

To: Women
From: Men

Subject: If you like us

Body: Dear Women, if you like us and want to date / fuck us, say so. Be blunt, be obvious, Be DIRECT. Your chances of success rise by an average of 75%*

Sincerely,
Men.

*Individual results may vary

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by Dark Nation

To: Women
From: Men

Subject: If you like us

Body: Dear Women, if you like us and want to date / fuck us, say so. Be blunt, be obvious, Be DIRECT. Your chances of success rise by an average of 75%*

Sincerely,
Men.

*Individual results may vary

Why should we cater to your needs when other men make an actual effort to communicate with us?

FELIPE NO

My mother once summed it up nicely:

"Boys are stupid, girls are crazy."

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by AniMechanic

My mother once summed it up nicely:

"Boys are stupid, girls are crazy."

"Oh, is your Mommy a doctor?
A scientific researcher of some kind?
Well then she's hardly a credible expert, is she?"

Do you know why men and women don't communicate? Because for years mothers like yours have fucking LIED to them about there being these drastic differences between the sexes. There just isn't. You've been categorically tricked into believing you need to do something special to read the opposite gender, or read ridiculous books and watch shitty daytime TV to figure out what to do.

I'm going to let you in on the secret...

THERE IS NO FUCKING SECRET.

Talk to them like a normal fucking human being. Don't have your head up your ass. That's the trick. Crazy, isn't it? Now go away and stop being a douche bag. All of you.

Jam it back in, in the dark.