Charisma

Do you have it?

If you don't know what charisma is:

Originally Posted by Cambridge Dictionary

Charisma:
a special power which some people possess naturally which makes them able to influence other people and attract their attention and admiration.

I think "special power" is a little over the top, but you get the idea.

Personally, I believe I have a good amount of charisma. I can definitely turn it on and off depending on how sociable I feel at the time, but it IS there. If I feel like being friendly (and hell, sometimes even when I don't) people usually take a liking to me pretty quickly. I make friends at a pretty quick pace and can get along with just about anyone. This is definitely helpful in the realm of love, considering I'm not exactly a super stud here, having a personality and (from what other people have told me) a great sense of humor is definitely something that I'm grateful for.

I've met plenty of people who are far more charismatic than I, and I usually try and see what they're doing right. It's always good to learn from someone who seems to know the game better than you.

On the flip side, I've met people who just aren't people people. Lol. Basically, they don't have any tact, no personality, or just don't know how to act around people. They lack charisma.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I've got charisma.

I don't have a lot of things I can brag about, but if there's one thing I can do naturally, it's to make friends and influence people.

I've always been told I'm the life of a party - I know how to laugh and I know how to have a good time. I'm not sure where the gregarious part of me came from, but people seem to be drawn to it. I don't know how accurate other peoples' perceptions of me are, though. I think everything stems from my matriarch persona.

I think part of the charisma I've got is my honesty in how I present myself. I don't hide much about who I am, and I think people sense that. Who knows. I'm a pretty "genuine" person. People feel at ease with me very quickly, in my experience. Sometimes, it's off-setting.

I am a very friendly person, and I don't judge too quickly. I'll be kind to just about anyone who talks to me - give 'em the benefit of the doubt. I make friends quickly and I do well in social situations. I'm not too sure where it all came from.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Divest

Do you have it?

YES, I DO.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I think if anyone in the world was the definition of "charisma," it'd be Frankie~

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I think I have a moderate amount of charisma. I'm generally in my own world too much to cultivate it, but sometimes when I'm feeling especially sociable I do a good job of entertaining people. There's a certain amount of risk involved in being outgoing since some people are a little averse to others coming on too strongly, but generally I find that I can get along with everyone even if I don't always become good friends with them, though I feel like I could be good friends if I tried. I guess I just don't think about it enough or I don't go out of my way enough. I feel like it's a matter of time management sometimes. I've recently taken a large interest in reading everything I can just for the hell of it and that has made me a little more isolated than I'd like to be, but what can you do. There's only so much time in the day.

It really is an art though, in many ways. Some people dedicate their lives to it, and a lot of them are probably politicians...or comedians or something like that. People that are charismatic need to be good listeners, mannerly, well-spoken, and sometimes...easily amused or easily interested. It involves being a good storyteller and having a good sense of humor, but it's very much about listening and being polite as well. Oh, and confidence and trustworthiness.

How ya doing, buddy?

To add more to this discussion:

My bass player is one charismatic motherfucker. More charismatic than anyone I've ever met. Everywhere we go he runs into someone he knows (usually multiple people and females). Everyone says hi to him. You would swear he was the lead quarterback in a small town or something. He gets the hottest chicks. Man, I thought I was good shit when I joined this band but holy fuck, this dude leaves me in the shadows. THAT is the kind of charisma I would like to learn. I've been working on it, taking tips from him here and there, but it's not really working as well as I'd like it to. One thing I do know, is that it's not an overnight thing.

I've asked him for tips before and all he said was he doesn't really look at himself that way and only a handful of them are his real friends, so why bother in the first place?

Despite the competitive urge inside of me, I realize that truer words have never been spoken.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I've never thought of myself as being charismatic. People tell me all the time that I'm friendly and such, and that they look up to me. It always surprises me when someone comes up to me and is like 'oh, that story you shared, it really helped me out.'. Being a youth leader probably has a lot to do with that. I'm sorta putting myself in the position to be looked up to. Everywhere I go, usually I can run into at least one person that I know. And everywhere I go, I also meet at least one new person. It's rather easy to strike up a conversation, and I can't say that I've ever left a negative impression on the person. At least I hope not anyhow.

FELIPE NO

I'm a fraud. I'm not naturally charismatic but I know how to look it when the time is right. When I'm with good friends or in a comfortable situation, I'm open and gregarious, liking to socialize and engage myself with people. But here's one thing: it didn't come naturally and I really believe it's over time and practice that I've developed it.

My personal theory for me is that it's really all about reading people and adapting to different situations. I know how to engage and draw in certain people, whether it's my dad's friends or a group of my high school buddies, or someone I meet in class. So I'm not sure I can label this as true charisma, since I'm still pretty awkward at times, but if that definition is true, then yes over time and "practice", sometimes I can naturally engage and influence people.

I think most intelligent people who have a fair amount of social decorum possess some amount of charisma. Only the fuckers who don't live a shit what other people think of them and yet still draws people in like moths to a flame are truly charismatic. Am I that? Nope. But the effect can be the same with certain people.

This post makes me sound like a sneaky bitch but I just think that over time, I've realized what works in society and sometimes it's not always the extremes of our true personalities. My GFF persona is more along the lines of how I truly am.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

When I need to be all business, I'm incredibly charismatic. I didn't really realize this until recently during the caucuses when I'd walk up to people, introduce myself and somehow convince them to vote for Obama. However, when it comes to social situations, I'm less charismatic and more "cute." I somehow avoid all the drama at work by just being naturally happy and willing to like everyone. I don't think this is charismatic, I guess that's just being good natured.

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I'd say I'm more manipulative then charismatic.

How ya doing, buddy?

Hmm, nope I don't think I've got that much charisma. My best friend does though, heck he seems to get all the girls, and with no effort :P Frankly, I don't know how he does it, he's clumsy, untactful, never on time and he tends to mess things up, but he STILL gets the girls and everyones attention too. I just don't get it, he's just got this drawing power to him kind of. Well, he's a great guy anyways so he deserves it. But he could share at least a couple of em girls... meh

I'm wondering if you can learn to be charismatic or if it's impossible. As it is now, it seems more like people think I'm friendly, "cute" or a funny guy but that's it. I'm wondering if I just seem to be a hard guy to approach or something, because people usually don't approach me, so I have to go up to them. And when I do it doesn't seem like they don't want me there neither so I just don't get it. I'm quite puzzled by this, but maybe I am just that uninteresting after all. It's not like I share many of the interests of all the people around me in the first place, but I'm not the guy who would say no to any conversation so it's weird.

How ya doing, buddy?

I don't have too much charisma. I guess it depends on the person I'm talking to. Sometimes the conversation ends with awkward silence. When this happened when I was younger I used to think, "Well I have nothing else to say to this person, so why say anything else?" But that kind of thinking would obviously makes me sound quite rude. Now I don't think like that, but I'm still making the awkward silences in conversations

I don't know why but I trip over my words when I talk. I'll think of things to say, but when it comes time to say it, I mess it up. It's usually when I'm trying to explain something.

I guess an insecurity I have is worrying about what others think. I know I'm not an eloquent speaker so I guess when I talk to people (especially people I rarely speak to) I worry that they might think I speak weird or something. I mean it's happened before. I've overheard people.

People have told me I'm awesome for some reason. I'll just talk and they'll say it. It's usually when I attempt to explain something, and I don't explain it well. I then say some made up word like "bleehhhh" or say I don't know. But before they say the line "Aji, you're awesome" they get this look on their face like "Was that it?" or "Did he just end the story? I'm confused now."

So yeah I don't think I'm too charismatic.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Yeah, I think I have charisma, but probably not as much as I'd like. I'm more affable than charismatic. People either like me from the beginning, or they hate me at the beginning but like me when they get to know me. I don't know of anyone who's spent any real amount of time talking with me, who doesn't like me - but that's not charisma, in my opinion. Charisma is a natural thing, yeah, but I'm convinced you can also gain charisma, you just have to work on it. I'm much more charismatic than I was just a couple of years ago.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I'm a pretty confident guy and I've never really had a problem talking to people. I'm probably more borderline arrogant than charismatic, but it's never given me any problems so far. I'm the nice kind of arrogant.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I think I have a moderate level of Charisma. I may not get all of the girls, but I get along with people well enough. I honestly think that I truly realized I had charisma when I stopped "trying to fit in". When I gained confidence in myself, and didn't use it to make everyone else feel like crap, it became easier to "make friends and infulence people."

FELIPE NO

If you stop using that green text I'll say you have charisma.

Really. Stop it.

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"a gossip talks about others, a bore talks about himself, and a brilliant conversationalist talks about you."

i don't think it's "special powers", but my charisma comes from genuine interest in other people. i think that a person who genuinely (or falsely) asks about another person's life, wants to know that person, etc. will make the other naturally feel like being around this person, and that relationship paves the way for future influence (or manipulation).

i guess there's some manner of speaking (inflected, caring, body language) that's needed too.

and yeah, by posting like this, it goes against the original quote's message.

How ya doing, buddy?

I have anti-charisma, whatever the terminology for that happens to be. I don't know if it is conditioning or simply a part of my personality (maybe both) but I just don't have it. Apparently I'm nice but I wouldn't call myself charming. I associate charisma with being outgoing and sociable, things I find it excruciating to be in most cases, not to mention being a good conversationalist and I stumble over the simplest of sentences.

There's nowhere I can't reach.