Ways To Call People Stupid (Not Directed At Anyone Here)

:lolsign: :lolsign: :lolsign: :lolsign: :lolsign: :lolsign: :lolsign: :lolsign: :lolsign:

A .22 caliber intellect in a .357 Magnum world.
A 1.0 in a 3.5 installation.
A 20th century man. The guy has no future.
A 3.5-inch drive, but data on punch cards.
A bad case of colon nose.
A barnacle on the ship of progress.
A black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem.
A brain like a BB in a boxcar/box of Corn Flakes.
A butter knife in a steak/prime rib world.
A couple of blocks behind the parade.
A day late and a dollar short.
A deadbolt with a broken cylinder.
A dim bulb in the marquee of life.
A face designed for radio.
A face designed in a wind tunnel.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few bricks shy of a full load.
A few clowns short of a circus.
A few dice short of a full bag/role-player.
A few feathers short of a whole duck.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
A few peas short of a casserole.
A few photons short of a hologram/holodeck.
A few planets short of a federation
A flash of light, a cloud of dust, and. What was the question?
A great deal of pride, but very little to be proud of.
A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
A hemorrhoid on the face of the world.
A hop, skip, and jump from success, but to get there he'd have to give up chewing gum.
A kangaroo loose in her top paddock.
A lap behind the field.
A legend in his own mind.
A logically defunct twit.
A looney tune.
A lot of feathers but not much chicken.
A medical mystery.
A mental midget with the IQ of a fencepost.
A mind like wet tennis shoes. Makes squishy noises when running.
A minefield of information.
A modest little person, with much to be modest about.
A natural talent for finding subliminal messages in ice cubes.
A Neanderthal brain in a Cro-Magnon body.
A notch off the timing mark.
A one-bit brain with a parity error.
A pacifist out of necessity/always loses in a battle of wits.
A PBS mind in an MTV world.
A peripheral visionary.
A person of rare intelligence. It's rare when he shows any.
A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
A photographic memory, but no film/never developed/the lens cover is glued on.
A poor excuse for protoplasm.
A prime candidate for natural deselection.
A quart low.
A real rocket scientologist.
A real space cadet.
A return with no gosub.
A room temperature IQ - centigrade.
A semitone flat on the high notes.
A single-cylinder brain in a V8 world.
A socketless drone in a plug-and-play world.
A square with only three sides.
A standard deviant.
A statue in a world of pigeons.
A T1 line of pure stupid.
A teapot with a cracked lid.
A titanic intellect. In a world full of icebergs.
A vacuum-tube brain in a microchip world.
A VGA card and a Herc monitor.
A victim of retroactive birth control.
A violin minus the bow.
A walking argument for birth control/post-natal abortion.
A waste of skin.
A wind-up clock without a key.
~~~~~
More To Come.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

All these things you just posted are way too long. I prefer the oneword one like dumbfuck, numbnuts, shithead, meathead, you name them.

If you were to say: "you're a walking argument for birth control/postnatal abortion" people will either just have walked away before you'd have finished.
Or just wouldn't know what the hell you just said because they are stupid, as you of course implied in the first place...

My funny rate: 4 out of 10.

Ps: Next time refrain from using so many of thos stupid lol smileys.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

A logically defunct twit isn't a bad one. It's much shorter and to the point. It also has the advantage of being a much more refined insult to someone's intellect.

Originally Posted by daxy

All these things you just posted are way too long. I prefer the oneword one like dumbfuck, numbnuts, shithead, meathead, you name them.

I prefer dipshit... I really don't know why. I just do.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Yeah I agree, although dumbass has a ring to it aswell.

How ya doing, buddy?

About half smart.
Adult child of alien invaders.
Afraid she'll void her warranty if she thinks too much.
Ain't no psionicist. (role-playing games)
Airhead/bubble-brain.
Aliens zapped him with a stupidity ray - twice.
Alive today only because it's illegal to kill him.
All belt, no trousers.
All booster, no payload.
All cassette, no tape.
All crown, no filling.
All fetch and no execute.
All foam, no beer
All foliage, no fruit.
All hammer, no nail.
All hat and no cattle.
All hawk and no spit.
All he remembers about his middle name is the first letter.
All his eggs in the same basket.
All his learning curves look like Mount Everest.
All icing, no cake.
All lace curtains, no knickers.
All lime and salt, no tequila.
All missile, no warhead.
All of his bytes are odd.
All Preparation, no H.
All shot, no powder.
All show, no go.
All signs and no scenery.
All the lights don't shine in her marquee.
All the notes, none of the music.
All the personality of linoleum flooring/plasticene/putty/caulking/saran wrap/a bowl of oatmeal/a plastic spoon.
All wax and no wick.
Alphabetizes junk mail/T-shirts/canonical lists.
Already visualizing the duct tape over his mouth.
Always in the right place, but at the wrong time.
Always late. Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
Always needs to have jokes explained.
Always responds to "Make Money Fast" postings on the Net.
Always sharpening his sleeping skills.
Always speaks her mind, so usually she's speechless.
Amplifier turned all the way up but no one's playing/all I hear is white noise.
An 8080 in a 68000 environment.
An AA battery in a D-cell world.
An alligator. (All mouth, no ears.)
An early example of the Peter Principle.
An ego like a black hole.
An example of how the dinosaurs survived for millions of years with walnut-sized brains.
An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
An expert on padded cells.
An expert on the historical significance of cottage cheese.
An inch short and a stroke early.
An innundated receptacle of primordial ooze.
An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
An XT clone in a Pentium zone.
Ano-fossal ambiguity. (Can't tell his ass from a hole in the ground.)
Another engineering prototype that should not have been shipped.
Answers the door when the phone rings.
Any connection between his reality and ours is purely coincidental.
Any similarity between him and a human being is purely coincidental.
Any slower and he'd be in reverse.
Any smarter and he'd be retarded.
Argues with herself - and loses!
As a baby his parents stood him on his soft spot.
As bent as a corkscrew.
As bright as a nightlight/small appliance bulb/tulip bulb.
As dumb as an ox.
As focused as a fart.
~~~~~~~

MORE to come.

I was speaking idiomatically.

There's always the Latin way. "Tace, fatue!" (Pronounced tah-kay fah-too-ay) For those of you who don't know, that means "Shut up, stupid!" And if you want to call them stupid without the whole "shut up" business, simply just use "fatue." It's that easy.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

As funny as a fire in a children's home.
As handy as a whiskbroom and twice as intelligent.
As happy as if he had brains/was in his right mind.
As happy as the village idiot.
As popular as a French kiss at a family reunion.
As popular as a pork pie at a Jewish wedding/synagogue.
As queer/rare as a nine bob note. (Very English.)
As quick as a corpse.
As sensible as entering an ass-kicking contest with a porcupine.
As sharp as a bag of wet mice.
As smart as a politician/lawyer is honest.
As smart as an automatic email responder script.
As smart as bait.
As smart as Christie Brinkley is ugly.
As strong as an ox and as dumb as two.
As thick as two short planks/two half bricks.
As useful as a brick lifevest.
As useful as a carpet fitter's ladder.
As useful as a cheese sandwich to a drowning ferret.
As useful as a chocolate teapot/fireguard.
As useful as a football bat.
As useful as a fur-lined walking stick.
As useful as a glass hammer.
As useful as a hip pocket on a T-shirt.
As useful as a kickstand on a horse.
As useful as a lead parachute.
As useful as a mint-flavored suppository.
As useful as a spit valve on a guitar.
As useful as a top hat with pockets.
As useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
As useful as an inflatable cheeseknife.
As useful as bolognese sauce on shoe laces.
As useful as bookends down a well.
As useful as dinosaur repellent.
As useful as green stop lights.
As useful as passing gas in a spacesuit/boiler suit.
As useful as reverse gear on a lawn mower.
As welcome as a priest at a cub scout jamboree.
As welcome as Michael Jordan at a Hair Club for Men convention.
As welcome as Saddam Hussein at a Dick Cheney roast.
As welcome as Sara Brady at an NRA convention.
As worn out as a cucumber in a convent.
At least he has a positive attitude about his destructive habits.
At least one Brady short of a Bunch
Attic's a little dusty.
Back burners not fully operating.
Backstreet Boy in a Talking Heads world.
Bad spot on the disk.
Baler done run out of twine.
Bandwidth limited.
Barney's his hero.
Bats have flown the belfry, and now he's all alone.
Bats in the belfry.
Batteries not included.
Beamed down and back up one too many times.
Beating his head around the bush.
Been napping in front of the ion shield again.
Been one too many times through the wormhole.
Been playing with his wand too much.
Been playing with the pharmacy section again.
Been short on oxygen one time too many.
Been using her head as a mass driver.
Behind the eight-ball.
Big like ox, smart like tractor
Blew his O-rings.
Blew the hatch before the lock sealed.
Blocked one too many hockey pucks/soccer balls/punches with his head.
Blown/leaking head gasket.
Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
Body off Baywatch, face off Crimewatch.
Born a day late and like that ever since.
Born during low tide in/swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool.
Born too late - he'd have been a great Neanderthal.
Born ugly, and built to last.
Both oars in the water, but on the same side of the boat.
Brain as busy as a hog farmer in Israel/Iran/.
Brain is running on empty.
Brain like a hard drive with no read/write head.
Brain permanently in power saving/8-bit mode.
Brain transplant donor.
Bright as a Zippo lighter without a flint.
Bright as Alaska in December.
Bright as Alaska in December.
Bright as an acetylene torch - without an oxygen supply.
Brings a knife to a gunfight.
Brings binoculars to submarine races.
Broadcasts static.
Bubbles/leaks in her think tank.
Buddy breathing with himself. (SCUBA term)
Built a special showcase for his herd of pet rocks.
Busier than a one-armed paper hanger.
Busier than a one-legged cat trying to cover its excreta on a frozen pond.
Busy as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest.
Caboose seems to be pulling the engine.
Cackles a lot, but I ain't seen no eggs yet.
Calling from a rotary phone.
Calling her stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
Calling him a pea brain would be an undeserved compliment.
Calls people to ask them their phone number.
Came out of his last mission smelling like a genius.
Can be outwitted by a jar of Marshmallow Fluff.
Can discern facts and form predictions with the acumen of an economist.
Can easily be confused with facts.
Can only remember her old passwords.
Can only shoot pool with a left-handed cue stick.
Can't count his balls and get the same answer twice.
Can't dial 911 because she can't find "11" on the phone.
Can't find his ass/butt with two hands and a periscope/compass/map/ flashlight/bloodhound/GPS receiver (in a locked closet).
Can't find his couch in the living room.
Can't find log base two of 65536 without a calculator.
Can't hold water in a bucket. (Can't keep a secret.)
Can't program his way out of a for-loop.
Can't tell his hole from an ass in the ground.
Carrier wave unmodulated.
Carries a tire gauge in her purse.
Carrying an empty Easter basket.
Car's only got three wheels, and one's going flat.
Cart can't hold all the groceries.
Cauliflower for brains.
Cerebrum vaccuoso. (Empty head.)
Changes hands and picks up a stroke.
Charming as a carbuncle.
Cheats when filling out opinion polls.
Cheezwiz for brains.
Chimney's clogged.
Clock doesn't have all its numbers.
Closer to the edge than a bicycle on the autobahn.
Cold/flat/dry as a witch's tit.
Colder than a well-digger's ass in the Klondike.
Collects cards for Craig.
Colo-cranial compaction.
Communications with him is limited to ping.
Confused as a baby in a topless bar.
Conserves toilet paper by using both sides.
Contributes to the population problem.
Could only be loved/missed if the minister read someone else's eulogy.
Could qualify as a houseplant if he learned to photosynthesize.
Couldn't balance a checkbook if Einstein helped.
Couldn't be shown that his ass was on fire with a flashlight and a three-way mirror.
Couldn't count to 21 if he were barefoot and without pants.
Couldn't engineer his way out of a wet paper bag.
Couldn't figure it out if God gave him the instruction manual.
Couldn't find his way through a maze even if the rats helped him.
Couldn't find oil with a dipstick.
Couldn't find two Saint Bernards if they were in the same telephone booth with him.
Couldn't hit sand if he fell off a camel.
Couldn't hit the broad side of a barn if he were standing inside.
Couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat.
Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
Couldn't run out of sight on a dark night/in a week.
Couldn't scratch his ass with a hand full of fish hooks.
Couldn't tell which way the elevator was going if he had two guesses.
Couldn't think/fight his way out of a paper bag.
Couldn't walk on water at absolute zero.
Coverage 90%; signal strength 10%.
CPU doesn't pick up on all clock cycles.
CPU is always in powersave mode.
CPU not connected to the bus.
Cranial cavity filled with neutronic matter. (Really dense)
Cranio-rectally inverted.
Creates his swap file in a RAM disk.
Cunning as a dodo bird.
Cursor's flashing but there's no response.
~~~~~
More to come.

FELIPE NO

Where are you getting these from, anyway?
Also, "Cerebrum vacuoso," should be "Cerebrum vacuum," unless those words really do exist in Italian (or whatever other romance language).

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

And I still don't like most of them...

Most amazing jew boots

Now it's time for a.....MEGA POST!!!!

Dealing with him is less fun than going to the dentist.
Dealing with him is one angst worse than a blind date.
Deep as her dimples/reflection in a mirror.
Deep down, she's shallow.
Defective hard drive/boot sector.
Dense as a London fog/neutron star.
Depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
Diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
Diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.
Differently clued.
Dock doesn't quite reach the water.
Does aerobics. in his head.
Does everything the hard way, like making love standing up in a hammock.
Does the work of three men: Larry, Curly, and Moe (The Three Stooges).
Doesn't adjust for leap years.
Doesn't consider his drive a slice unless it lands two fairways over.
Doesn't have a brain, just a primitive nerve bundle.
Doesn't have a fart's prayer in a hurricane.
Doesn't have a round in every chamber.
Doesn't have all her Corn Flakes in one box.
Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash/cups in the cupboard/groceries in the same bag.
Doesn't have all the dots on his dice/pens in her plotter.
Doesn't have both oars in the water - can't even find the damn boat.
Doesn't have elastic in both of his socks.
Doesn't have his belt through all the loops.
Doesn't have sixteen annas to the rupee.
Doesn't have the brain power to toast a crouton.
Doesn't have the sense God gave an animal cracker.
Doesn't have two neurons to rub together.
Doesn't just know nothing; doesn't even suspect much.
Doesn't just wear perfume, she marinates in it.
Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
Doesn't know which side the toast is buttered on.
Doesn't need to worry about excess knowledge.
Doesn't put the cross-hairs on the target.
Doesn't quite sample at the Nyquist rate.
Doesn't suffer from ear pressure when flying at altitude.
Doesn't suffer from stress, she's a carrier.
Donated her body to science fiction.
Donated her body to scientists. Before she was done using it.
Don't blame him, he's from Uranus.
Don't know what his problem is, but it's hard to pronounce.
Downhill skiing in Iowa.
Driveway doesn't quite reach the garage/street.
Driving at night with the lights off.
Driving down the road of life with his sun shield in place.
Driving with his tailgate down (and stuff is falling out).
Driving with two wheels in the sand/not all wheels on the pavement.
Dropped his second stage too soon.
Dropped on his head as a child.
Duh! on parade
Dumb as asphalt/dirt/a mud fence/a stump/a sack of hammers.
Dumber than a bag of hammers
Dumber than a box of hair.
Dumber than a chicken/box of hair/rocks/sled tracks.
During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.
Ears are redirected to /dev/null.
Easier to count the bricks left than the bricks missing.
Echoes between the ears.
Eight pawns short of a gambit.
Eighth of seven.
Either the good twin or the evil one, hard to say.
Electroencephalographically challenged.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor/penthouse/mezzanine.
Elevator goes all the way to the top but the door doesn't open.
Elevator is on the ground floor and he's pushing the Down button.
Elevator to the brain suite is out of order.
Emails a one-line contribution to this list with a full copy of the list attached.
End of season sale at the cerebral department.
Enjoys listening to telemarketers.
Enough sawdust between the ears to bed an elephant.
Even a two button mouse gives him too many options.
Even in victory, he's a loser.
Evidence for the theory of a missing link.
Evolved from a toxic waste dump.
Face like she's been in a plane crash.
Failed the Turing test.
Fell out of the family tree.
Fifty-one cards short of a full deck.
Fighting the war with a starter pistol/water pistol/pop gun/cap gun.
Finds a flat by swapping tires.
Finds canonical humor collections amusing.
Finds Sesame Street/knock-knock jokes challenging.
Fired from McDonald's for having a short attention span.
Fired her retro-rockets a little late.
First to admit he's a slow thinker - actually, more like the seventy-first.
Five bullets in his six-shooter.
Flaky.
Flying/landing on one engine.
Focused like a 12 gauge shotgun.
Fog rolled in the day he was born, and a bit of it never rolled out.
Folds ace plus red jack hand when playing blackjack.
For those who never forget a face, his is an exception.
Foreign substances float in his cranial fluids.
Forgot to pay his brain bill.
Found his marbles, but is playing jacks with them.
Four bits short of a full DEC.
Four bows short of a string quartet.
Four cents short of a nickel.
Fruit looking for a cake to happen.
Full of wisdumb.
Full throttle, dry tank.
Gasoline engine, diesel fuel.
Gates/barriers are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
Gavel doesn't quite hit the bench.
Gears grind/don't always mesh.
Gets a charge out of urinating on electric fences.
Gets her mail at an unknown zip code.
Gets his orders from another planet.
Gets hypnotized on the de-spun section.
Gets lost in thought - it's unfamiliar territory.
Gets parity errors under load.
Gives a lot of bull for somebody what ain't got no cattle.
Gives short planks a bad name.
Goalie for the dart/javelin team.
God might still use him for miracle practice.
God's favorite target for lightning strikes.
Goes with the flow. He's a bed wetter.
Good at quantum tunneling but not much else.
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
Got a life, but wasn't sure what to do with it.
Got help, but it didn't help.
Got his brains as a stocking stuffer.
Got in touch with reality, but it was a bad connection.
Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
Got up on the wrong side of bed again this morning - like always.
Great helm needs some padding.
Guillotining him would make only an aesthetic difference.
Gyros are loose.
Habits explainable if he was raised by wolves.
Had a head crash/her server's crashed.
Haggles wrong. (role-playing games)
Half a bubble off plumb.
Happiness is seeing her picture on a milk carton.
Hard to distinguish from the tail end of a horse.
Hard to tell if he has an ace up his sleeve or if the ace is missing from his deck altogether.
Has 100-meter talent, but is half a mile into the marathon of life.
Has a bird's-eye view, and a brain to match.
Has a bus fault problem.
Has a divide-by-zero look on his face.
Has a face only a mother could love - but she hates it too.
Has a few wait states.
Has a hole in his bucket.
Has a leak in his ceiling/one of her hoses.
Has a mind like a mousetrap, but should let some of those poor mice go.
Has a one-way ticket on the Disoriented Express.
Has a personality all her own. No one else wanted it.
Has a photogenic memory.
Has a pulse, but that's about all.
Has a random memory fault.
Has a slow clock.
Has a terminal case of dumb-ass.
Has a two-bit operating system.
Has a vacancy at the Grey Matter Motel
Has achieved inner peace, but still displays outer obnoxiousness.
Has all her bricks, but no cement holding them together.
Has all the brains God gave a duck's ass.
Has an hourglass figure, but most of the sand is on the p.m. side.
Has an inferiority complex, but not a very good one.
Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
Has been seen tossing bread crumbs to helicopters.
Has change for a seven dollar bill.
Has delusions of adequacy.
Has FINO (first in never out) memory.
Has her headquarters where her hindquarters should be.
Has his brain on cruise control again.
Has his solar panels aimed at the moon.
Has it floored in neutral.
Has lots of books, but all he does is lick the ink off the pages.
Has no discretionary intellect.
Has no upper stage.
Has nothing to say, but delights in saying it.
Has only one chopstick in the chowmein.
Has over 1000 funny insults saved in a file, but can't remember any of them.
Has plenty of talent and vision, just doesn't give a damn.
Has resonance where others have brains.
Has signs on both ears saying "Space for Rent".
Has so few thoughts that when he free associates, it's like watching tennis.
Has the attention span of an overripe grapefruit.
Has the brains of a house plant/turnip (cooked).
Has the Grand Canyon under the crew cut.
Has the IQ of a salad bar/an ice cube/cantalope/three below houseplant.
Has the keen awareness of an ostrich in hiding.
Has the mental agility of a soap dish.
Has the personality of a snail on Valium.
Has the same talent as Dr. Doolittle.
Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
Has uncorrected Y2K bugs.
Hasn't caught on that X and Y are relative values.
Hasn't got all his china in the cupboard.
Hasn't got the brains God gave a cat.
Hasn't got the brains of a retarded anvil/oyster.
Hasn't lost his mind - it's backed up on tape somewhere.
Having a party in his head, but no one else is invited/dancing.
Having a temporary stupid attack.
He came, he saw, he clutched.
HE CAN ONLY TYPE IN UPPER CASE.
He can push but he can't pop.
He could give stupid lessons to a brick/post.
He couldn't lead flies to a hog lot.
He demonstrates that beauty times brains is a constant.
He donated his brain to science but they made an early withdrawal.
He fell out of the stupid/ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
He has a bad brains-to-balls ratio.
He has less going on upstairs than a one story house.
He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
He has two left feet.
He hasn't a single redeeming vice.
He is a man of few words and he does not know what either of them mean.
He is a mouth-breather.
He knows computers. He's not fit for contact with humans.
He went off to cry to mommie/auntie.
He writes blank checks on a closed account.
Hears everything that a dog can.
Hears more lyrics on records when they're played backwards.
He'd screw up a two-car funeral procession.
He'll eventually qualify as a Darwin Award winner.
Her access time approaches infinity.
Her ancestors came to this country looking for bananas.
Her blender doesn't go past "mix".
Her body is rejecting her.
Her brain cells are as hard to isolate as <your favorite politician's> concern for his/her electorate.
Her brain comes with single-bit error detection and half-assed error correction.
Her brain has a corrupted filesystem/someone needs to run fsck on her brain.
Her brain is as useless as a mule's gonads.
Her brain is more like a Rube Goldberg device than a computer.
Her cache is incoherent.
Her career is just taking off - she's never at work.
Her closet is full of hangars, but no clothing.
Her dentist went deaf from the drill's echoes.
Her display is always flashing 12:00.
Her driver's license says, "Picture continued on other side."
Her ears serve the same function as holes in a dribble glass.
Her face is a threat to clocks everywhere.
Her files are compressed 100%.
Her finals are burned out.
Her friends took her aside, and left her there.
Her gene pool could use a little chlorine/a good filter.
Her head doesn't cast a shadow.
Her head needs a periodic whack on the side.
Her input pipe is broken.
Her interrupt handler hit a loop.
Her IQ is the reason they had to invent negative/imaginary numbers.
Her kid is an honor student, but she's still an idiot.
Her leads need resoldering.
Her learning curve is fractal.
Her life is a continuous series of senior moments/brain cramps.
Her lint trap is full.
Her lists are unlinked.
Her memory is truly random-access.
Her mental function can be graphed with a single dot.
Her mere presence causes parity errors, power fails, and head crashes.
Her mind is not grounded to a logic supply.
Her mind might have spontaneously combusted.
Her mind works like lightning: One brilliant flash and it is gone.
Her mind would be unstable even mounted on a tripod.
Her modem lights are on but there's no carrier.
Her objects are not fully oriented.
Her only hope for brainpower is vacuum point energy.
Her personal problems can only be solved using high explosives.
Her phone doesn't quite reach her desk.
Her pool balls don't fit into the rack.
Her positronic matrix won't reboot.
Her purpose in life is to balance out the bell curve.
Her random access is the same as her sequential access.
Her sewing machine's been out of thread for some time now.
Her sewing machine's out of thread.
Her ski lift doesn't go to the top of the hill.
Her stack has been corrupted.
Her synapses are about |that| far apart.
Her system file has zero bytes.
Her tires are a little low.
Her walls don't go all the way to the ceiling.
Her wheels are turning but she's upside down.
Her wipers don't touch the glass.
Her word length is zero bits.
He's a General Protection Fault trigger.
He's a man on a mission, but can't find his dossier.
He's a T-1 line of pure stupid
He's as soppy as a sack. (British)
He's been invited to every party in town. Once.
He's diagnosable.
He's in a federal witless protection program.
He's not a complete idiot - some parts are missing.
He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.
He's really into himself. His head is up his ass.
He's so dense light bends around him.
He's so dense, light bends around him.
He's so dense, the Titanic wouldn't sink in his head.
Hid behind the door when they passed out brains.
High relative humidity. He's lost in a fog.
His access light's on, but the drive isn't spinning/is still spinning up.
His accumulator overflows at zero.
His actual mileage varies.
His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His antenna/radio doesn't pick up all the channels/stations.
His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
His boot block is in a bad sector.
His boot ROM has a bad checksum.
His brackets are mismatched.
His brain could be the perfect dielectric.
His brain is sueing for neglect.
His brain was sold separately and they were out of stock.
His brain would rattle around in a gnat's navel.
His bread ain't done.
His buffer is full.
His carpet doesn't reach from wall to wall.
His clock's ticking but it's not telling time.
His clutch is slipping.
His data bus stops for red lights.
His deck has no face cards.
His elevator is stuck between floors.
His face is on a coin. On the edge.
His family tree is a telephone pole.
His family wasn't dysfunctional until he arrived.
His feedback loop is open.
His freelist is empty.
His future is behind schedule.
His gene line isn't just dead, it's extinct.
His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.
His grades were so bad, after school he couldn't even get into prison.
His grey matter is brown/doesn't matter.
His head is a real data suppository.
His head whistles in a cross wind.
His home page is out of order.
His home planet is flat.
His IQ test results were negative/IQ is a false positive.
His jack can't get the car off the ground.
His military nomenclature is ID-10-T (idiot).
His mind is a few Hertz off its assigned frequency.
His mind is great at error magnification.
His mind is less substantial than the Emperor's new clothes.
His mind is on vacation but his mouth is working overtime.
His mind is write-protected/write-only.
His mind reached escape velocity and achieved orbit.
His mind wandered and he went along for the ride/never came back.
His motto is: Space, the final frontier.
His mouth rarely makes calls to his brain.
His only hope for sexual variety is vegetables/to change hands.
His outgoing message starts with, "Hello, Mr. Answering Machine."
His page was intentionally left blank.
His picture is in the dictionary under "zero".
His pointers are null/uninitialized.
His puzzle is missing a few pieces.
His reaction time is longer than his attention span.
His root file system isn't mounted.
His seat back is not in the full upright and locked position.
His shared libraries aren't installed.
His signal-to-noise ratio is epsilon.
His signature is long, boring, and stupid, but it's the best part of his postings.
His spark can't jump the gap.
His spirit guide is a three-toed sloth.
His stack's not very deep/he has an eight-byte stack.
His strings aren't null-terminated.
His strip is demagnetized.
His system administrator is never in.
His train tracks aren't quite parallel.
His URL denies outside access.
His warp core is offline.
His watch dog is sleeping.
His Wheaties have been in the milk too long.
His wisdom is stolen from bumper-stickers and T-shirts.
His wits have left the rails and are careening about the countryside.
His X, Y, and Z axes don't meet at the origin.
Hitler's evil twin.
Holds a grudge until it dies of old age, then has it stuffed and mounted.
Hyperspatially interconnected/permanently disconnected neural net.
Hypnotized as a child and couldn't be woken.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Really, it's not impressive or useful if you're just copying these from somewhere else; you could just give us the link...

How ya doing, buddy?

I am so not using IE 6.0, DarkDraco911's signature. Fix yourself.

{tries to bend time to be able to read all items in these lists and not lost any actual free time}

{time bends back and forces head to explode}

{I die}

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Yeah uh darkdraco somethin.. why do you keep posting these things when nobody wants to read them.

Most amazing jew boots

Draco, don't post any more of these.

Just post the link to the page where you found them.

You're just trying to inflate your post count otherwise.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?