[Wii] The Wii gets even more simplistic

After one hundred and twenty-ish very high quality titles on the PlayStation 2, D3 Publisher seems to have picked the Wii as the next console home of their Simple Series. Although they'll probably keep dry humping the PS2 for at least another eighty seven years. Are you excited? You shouldn't be. Or should you? No.

The first two volumes are due out soon, with another six or so already planned.



Simple Wii Series Vol. 1: The Wacky Wheels, That's Not Its Real Name But Wacky Wheels Was A Pretty Awesome Mario Kart Clone



Whoa, a go-kart racer! Features innovative use of the controller, tilt it to turn. Holy shit! Four player split-screen and APPARENTLY according to the little icon I'm looking at here on my internet monitor, it also supports four players online. Good luck finding three other people! Seems to have some kind of.. flying mini-game (?)



AND AUUUGH THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. You can't use your Mii's for your actual racer people things though. D3 have spewed out some little player creation tool of their own called LAPIS, which stands for 'Live Apian Playing Information System'. How very odd. 'Let's All Piss In Sandwiches' would have been far better.



Simple Wii Series Vol. 2: The HUGE SMALL



A fishing game where you have to match some DDR style movements in order to catch a huge small fish. Just like real life. This one's only two player, can't fit too many people on a small boat, it might go up in flames. The graphics look better than Missile Command. With the power of LAPIS, you TOO can make fishing... farmers like this!



WOW! I wouldn't be surprised if they get picked up for American releases considering Nintendo America don't block stuff. I mean, look at Chicken Shoot. I'll make sure to (not) keep you updated.

How ya doing, buddy?

Demanding a Wii port of "The Maid and the Machine Gun."

Most amazing jew boots

^___^! "I GOT AN FISHARU!"

This is good news indeed for those of us! Who! Have a Japanese Wii!

Unfortunately that target group doesn't include me, nor am I crazy enough to buy Simple 2000 series games. Well, except for the ones I bought.

Here's to a great series of B-games that will be the alternate ridicule and fascination of future generations.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Earth Defence Force 4 is obviously coming around Vol 239 now


What's nice though is that these don't really look much worse from regular Wii releases, unlike with PS2 where the drop in graphics was more noticeable (except for EDF2 obviously :])

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Taco

Demanding a Wii port of "The Maid and the Machine Gun."

It might happen! They're already porting over some PS2 stuff like uh, The Breakout Clone #357 and The Mini-Game Collection of Boredom.


WAGGLE JUSTICE.

Originally Posted by surasshu

^___^! "I GOT AN FISHARU!"

This is good news indeed for those of us! Who! Have a Japanese Wii!

Unfortunately that target group doesn't include me, nor am I crazy enough to buy Simple 2000 series games. Well, except for the ones I bought.

Here's to a great series of B-games that will be the alternate ridicule and fascination of future generations.

Personally I'm holding out for PAL versions, since I'm very demented and collect the PAL Simple games for PS2. No matter how shocking they are! ;__;

Originally Posted by Qwarky

Earth Defence Force 4 is obviously coming around Vol 239 now


What's nice though is that these don't really look much worse from regular Wii releases, unlike with PS2 where the drop in graphics was more noticeable (except for EDF2 obviously :])

The fishing game actually looks better than any of the other five billion or so full price fishing games already released on the Wii. Fishing game developers, you need to step up, you're being beaten by an average looking no budget game! Fishing game fans are what keep the gaming industry alive!

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Infernal Monkey

Personally I'm holding out for PAL versions, since I'm very demented and collect the PAL Simple games for PS2. No matter how shocking they are! ;__;

I didn't even know Simple 2000 games escaped the confines of the Japanese market... Which games made it out? Not the giant woman game, surely?

How ya doing, buddy?

Haha, it sure did!



Quite a lot of them have made it over, actually. Spread across a mess of different publishers. Nearly all of them are butchered even further in some way, be it horrendous box art, voice acting removed, FMV sequences removed or extremely bad translations. But that's part of the fun!

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Infernal Monkey

Simple Wii Series Vol. 1: The Wacky Wheels, That's Not Its Real Name But Wacky Wheels Was A Pretty Awesome Mario Kart Clone

Phil's Wacky Wheels Site

Yaaaaaaay Wacky Wheels

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I want a port Zombie Virus, aka Zombie Versus Ambulance, dammit. I cannot believe it got a PAL release, but nothing in the US. You'd thing a game about an ambulance driver in Bermuda shorts running over zombies all day with his pimped out ambulance would fly off the shelves here.

You could gimmick it up with the Wiimote and use the tilt-steering, even. Look Nintendo, innovation!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

You know Infernal. Since the numbers are starting voer from 1. THis really is your chance to collect them all and complete you're Pokédex.

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I wonder if they'll bring any Oneechanbara games out for the Wii? I'm skeptical because you know. Nintendo. Blood. Although the blood in Oneechanbara 2 was green.

Quote:

I want a port Zombie Virus, aka Zombie Versus Ambulance, dammit. I cannot believe it got a PAL release, but nothing in the US. You'd thing a game about an ambulance driver in Bermuda shorts running over zombies all day with his pimped out ambulance would fly off the shelves here.

I hope you have a PS2 that doesn't shit the bed when trying to read blue based games.

Most amazing jew boots

Originally Posted by Monkey King

I want a port Zombie Virus, aka Zombie Versus Ambulance, dammit. I cannot believe it got a PAL release, but nothing in the US. You'd thing a game about an ambulance driver in Bermuda shorts running over zombies all day with his pimped out ambulance would fly off the shelves here.

You could gimmick it up with the Wiimote and use the tilt-steering, even. Look Nintendo, innovation!

It's no Zombie vs Ambulance, but some new developer '1988' has plans to make a game sort of like it! You'll be running down zombies and shooting them light gun style at the same time somehow while trying to plant a nuclear bomb to wipe the city out. Zombie Massacre! But a proper sequel would be better.

Originally Posted by RAB

You know Infernal. Since the numbers are starting voer from 1. THis really is your chance to collect them all and complete you're Pokédex.

I know! It's tempting to import these from the get-go, but then I'd have to bother with a mod chip, and I'd miss out on the fun of picking through pre-owned bins for ugly PAL versions.


SO BEAUTIFUL, SAM AGREES.

Originally Posted by Elixir

I wonder if they'll bring any Oneechanbara games out for the Wii? I'm skeptical because you know. Nintendo. Blood. Although the blood in Oneechanbara 2 was green.

What timing, D3 actually just today announced Oneechanbara R for Wii. :]









I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Infernal Monkey

FUCK YES! SAM YOU ARE THE BEST PS2 GAME EVER!
He looks a bit scared in that picture to be honest. :<

It's actually a bit surprising to see that they're making an Oneechanbara game for Wii. The 360 version is CERO Z. That's R18+. Oh well, I'm sure some European publisher will catch on (505 gamestreet probably) and release these here so fun times.

I was speaking idiomatically.

He had his chance to move, but he was too slow! THE BARRIER OF TERRIBLE TAKES OVER!

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Infernal Monkey

SO BEAUTIFUL, SAM AGREES.

BREAKOUT TIME ::iwata head bounces around::



(still no Global Defence Force, I see ;_; )

How ya doing, buddy?

It's still living up to its Delay Force name here! Actually it's been replaced with Stinky Tactics on several online retailers, which I hope is just a cruel joke. =') Time will tell, Iwata Time!

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

HERE COME THE NEXT TWO SPARKLING MOUNTAIN GOAT WATER GEMS OF CREATIVITY.

Vol. 3: The Casino Party (The Casino Yawn Factory)





Oh dear.

Vol. 4: The Shooting Action (The Robotron Geometry Wars)





This one's got online gameplay, something that CamelGeometry Wars Galaxies doesn't have. I think. So it's confirmed. Something. brb installing eight Wii keys in my bowl of cereal.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Quote:

And this is the most demonic thing I've seen all week.

"Wap" is right

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Pedophile Series.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.