Dad, we're NEVER GONNA USE THIS SHIT!!!

Encephalon and I were talking, and the conversation turned to the idea of storage space... or lack thereof. Tomorrow, i'll be helping clean my best friend's house, because both her and her parents SUCK at cleaning up and throwing shit away. What makes the job so difficult is that they need to inspect every single thing thrown away, because it 'might be important'. We're not even talking sentimental stuff either, its stuff like a newspaper from last month.

That's when I realized that my family is the SAME WAY. We keep the most random shit, but when it comes to throwing it out, people get all huffy. For instance, my mom threw a hissy fit when my sister and I were attempting to make room in the hallway by throwing out all our old Halloween costumes... from when we were four. The boxes were placed in the basement instead. Out of date encyclopedias. Kerosene heaters that dont work. Furniture that's been down in the basement so long its growing mold, yet the idea of throwing it away... practically brings tears.

So I guess the question is... anyone else's families like this? What kind of random, run of the mill shit do your folks, siblings, or you insist on keeping around, despite no sentimental attachment, no meaning to it whatsoever? Anything you look at in your house and think, "Why do we still have this... we're NEVER GONNA USE THIS SHIT!"

Jam it back in, in the dark.

My grandfather has boxes and boxes full of pipe holders like this:



He doesn't own a single pipe.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I guess ours is to an extent. We had all sorts of stuff, old papers, very old and outdated books, etc.

However, my parents are going to have their basement fixed up, so they literally had to throw away tons and tons of stuff. I think a friend told them that, 'If you haven't used it in a year, then you should get rid of it', which they followed.

I know I'll be having to do the same when I visit them soon. They left my stuff intact for the most part, but I, myself, had some things they went nuts over (particularly a bag, that holds a bag, that holds...an empty bag).

I know I look through everything. It's not because i have to look at every document or whatever, but rather my parents use to throw everything together. So, if you throw away that newspaper, it might be that some important document slipped through the pages.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Yeah... My dad is the among the most horrible breed of packrats that has ever walked this earth. We have a storage unit behind the house that's just chock full of useless shit ranging from chafing dishes to trailer tires to decade-old cans of Minwax. We have ANOTHER storage unit at the nursery as well that ALSO has its share of junk in a very similar vein.

Although, the one that takes the cake is that for the LONGEST time we had this piece of shit, Toyota bathtub (like this one) sitting outside the house. When we ran out of places to put my dad's useless junk that van, which had been broken down for 4 years, became another fucking storage facility. ELEVEN FUCKING YEARS that thing sat there accumulating more junk than we have room for. Eventually that van got towed away probably because I'm pretty sure it's a parking violation to have a van parked for well over a decade in the SAME FUCKING SPOT.

We are hopelessly Mexican.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

My family was like that for the longest time. The storage shed was full of junk, as was the attic, and the spare bedroom, and I complained about this! I complained thoroughly. And no action was taken! One day they became tired of my complaints, and they said to me, "[Pang], if you're so worried about it, go clean it up yourself."

I did so! By removing every single object from these spaces and taking them to the landfill. Emptied out like a stomped-on water balloon. It was glorious.

So my point is the solution is to be COMPLETELY INSANE ABOUT THIS until they learn to behave.

Most amazing jew boots

I live in a house that's smaller than a telephone booth, so luckily not much completely useless shit can sit around! The GARAGE though.. the GARAGE..

Coming to a cinema near you.

Spoiler:

You can barely move in there thanks to THINGS, some fun includes a box full of hammers. It's a BIG BOX too, FULL OF HAMMERS and SHOUTING with TEXT. "Why do you need SO MANY HAMMERS?" "Because" I think my dad's going to go on a hammer time rampage one day.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I have an all spark cube at our basement.

don't get jealous.

FELIPE NO

We don't actually have a family home anymore, but we had to clear everything out when we sold up. My mother was intent on selling the TV, but DEAR FUCKING GOD WE CAN'T GET RID OF THE ORNAMENTAL PLATES THAT HAVE BEEN IN THE BASEMENT FOR TEN YEARS! OR THE OAK TABLE THEY'VE BEEN SITTING ON!

Most of it went into a storage unit. A lot of it actually got stolen when the place went out of business and didn't tell us. :/

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I used to be the biggest packrat when I was a kid. I did get the collecting down to a more resonable point, or at least I'd get right enough to clean out everything after a while.

Well, that habit of collection and keeping every damm thing has carried over in some respects to the present day, as I have to stop myself from saving every damm picture I come across on the internet that I think looks cool, sexy or whatever. What I've been doing is going through and cleaning out my virtual garage full of stuff. Its not done by any stretch, but its a start.

My dad and mom sorta contributed as they did the same sort of thing for a while, my mom in some areas, my dad in others, but we'll see what happens in regards to everything since my mom mentioned every once in a while about going through 'all the photos' and everything. We'll see

Jam it back in, in the dark.

My family don't hang on to things for sentimental reasons, but because some things are hard to get rid of. Their garage is completely filled with broken or unwanted appliances, old cardboard and polystyrene packaging materials, furniture which will never again be used, and tools which never have been used.

I almost forgot to add that whenever they have a new carpet fitted, or new wallpaper put up, they keep the scraps left over. What possible reason could there be for this? I have no idea. They also hang on to half empty cans of paint, varnish, and whatever else has absolutely no use whatsoever. I guess as long as it is in the garage, they don't need to care about a trip to the refuse disposal site.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

It comes with the family I guess. My nana's huge house is full of useless shit that she refuses to throw away. My mom learned from her and is now the same way.

The unfortunate chain reaction is that my nana loves to dump all sorts of that useless shit on us, so now our house gets new deliveries of crap every week from her. Of course, my mom has no intention of throwing any of it away, so we run out of room for all this stuff rather quickly.

*sigh* logic doesn't exist here at the sprout residence.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

There's a ton of junk in our house, a combination of a packrat dad and both parents just being extremely fucking lazy. There's at least two broken microwaves sitting around in the basement along with some old chairs and other junk because they can't be bothered to figure a way to dispose of any of it. Taking up the most space is a treadmill. We always have treadmills cluttering the house because my dad buys them AND NEVER EVER USES THEM.

I suppose I should really put in some effort to clean up myself, but I really don't want to because it is not my mess. That's the perpetual problem around here: nobody will pick up after themselves, and if I do it then I will have volunteered myself as housecleaner for the end of time.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

My dad likes to keep lots of useless things, despite having no space in our apartment. Not big things usually, but trinkets or whatever, and is worse than me. I think a couple of years ago, we had to throw something out in stealth because my dad would freak out that we're throwing away something that could still be used/memories/etc. Included in this set are: an exercise machine that sat on the balcony for year, and is now in the hallway blocking everyone's path, random leaves and napkins inserted in random pages of our dictionary, outdated magazines from before 2000, etc.

I was speaking idiomatically.

My mom is the same exact way, I really dislike it. She keeps pretty much any useless crap around the house, and when I throw something out, she doesn't even realize it. But I'm not that mean... I usually ask her if she still wants it and she'll reply yes but have no where to put it.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Summonmaster

I think a couple of years ago, we had to throw something out in stealth because my dad would freak out that we're throwing away something that could still be used/memories/etc.

Man... My old man pulls the EXACT SAME SHIT and flips the fuck out every time we throw shit away. If I REALLY want things gone from the house and I know he won't notice, I have to wait until he takes one of his out of town trips at which point I take his truck, pull it into the driveway in reverse, fill it with as much as I can and drive 15 minutes to the landfill to drop it off just to clear some room. To this day, he doesn't know that I do this because (surprise) he doesn't know the garbage is gone because (surprise again) HE'S NEVER GONNA USE THAT SHIT!!!

Parental figures... Go figure~

FELIPE NO

My great-grandma lived on the same property I did when I was growing up and she was a crazy packrat. We finally went through the garage when I was 15 and literally filled up one of the huge trash bins that was as wide as our house with all the junk we pulled out of there. She threw a fit, but it had to be done. Thankfully, my mom and dad were so annoyed with all the crap my great-grandma kept that they throw everything useless out once they realize it's useless.

When I was little I saved everything, but by the time I was 14 I got over it, and I throw crap away when I find it.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Temari

So I guess the question is... anyone else's families like this? What kind of random, run of the mill shit do your folks, siblings, or you insist on keeping around, despite no sentimental attachment, no meaning to it whatsoever? Anything you look at in your house and think, "Why do we still have this... we're NEVER GONNA USE THIS SHIT!"

Most Asian families are. They're packrats.
Lower-middle class seem to have this compendium too.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by 343 Guilty Spark

Man... My old man pulls the EXACT SAME SHIT and flips the fuck out every time we throw shit away. If I REALLY want things gone from the house and I know he won't notice, I have to wait until he takes one of his out of town trips at which point I take his truck, pull it into the driveway in reverse, fill it with as much as I can and drive 15 minutes to the landfill to drop it off just to clear some room. To this day, he doesn't know that I do this because (surprise) he doesn't know the garbage is gone because (surprise again) HE'S NEVER GONNA USE THAT SHIT!!!

This is exactly what has had to be done with my best friend's house. While her parents were on vacation, a dumpster was brought in to clean the house. Place sparkled by the time we were done... within 2 weeks it looked like shit again.

Also, while 'cleaning' today, I was basically subjected to being inspected... every pile of papers I threw away, her dad picked up and re-inspected, as if I didnt know what an important document looked like. Again, I wasnt aware that the sports section of a New York Times from last month could be important!

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Temari

Again, I wasnt aware that the sports section of a New York Times from last month could be important!

Jesus fucking christ. If he really needs to see who won the World Series why doesn't he just go to Applebee's and read the framed sports sections or something?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Just some rather old speakers from the 80s that my parents keep in their house. I insisted on throwing them away or donating them, but they refused. What confuses me is that the speakers no longer work anyway, and I know there aren't any memories behind them either.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I have a bad habit of always saving the boxes for everything I buy.
My reasoning being "I might need it if it brakes and I'll get it repaired for free" or "Gives me more money if I sell it". It doesn't matter if it's a $300 flatscreen monitor or a $19 Gamepad or a mouse mat, I'll save the box. It takes a shitload of space :\

How ya doing, buddy?

I think the only really old things we have are a couple of 386's in the basment and every single Scientific American magazine published since the late '50s.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

My family...isn't like this. Actually, we find reasons to throw stuff away. My aunt will be like "get it out of my house!" if there's even the slightest little thing wrong with something. If a table is wobbly, for instance. Instead of fixing it, she'd rather throw it out and go buy a new one.

We have a hamper in the hall closet designated specifically for clothing donations to the Salvation Army. It gets filled just about every month, too.

Our basement is kind of cluttered, but it's not family stuff that's saved down there. It's all my uncle's work stuff. Components for POS (point of sale) computer systems, wires, keyboards, mice, monitors. It takes up pretty much all of our basement storage. So we don't really keep anything else.

But this isn't to say we don't have our fair share of collections. It's not like we live in a sterile white medical facility or something. We have lots of cool artwork and pictures on the walls, a huge record collection, a modest movie collection, and my aunt does scrapbooking with all the paper memories and photos that she thinks are worthwhile for keeping.

FELIPE NO

Yea, my dad is more like Guru's family.

He will throw just about anything out that doesn't belong to him. I can't tell you how much of my own, personal shit he's thrown out since I was a kid.

But when it comes to wood, bricks, tools or wire - he saves ALL that shit - and yes, he actually finds occasions to use every. single. bit of it. (You think you know MacGyver, pffth.)

I have to admit, though: I am kind of a person who likes to save stupid shit for sentimental reasons. I have STICKS in my room because "aw I burned a marshmellow on that stick with XYZ!"

(Only one stick, though)

Most amazing jew boots

Sometimes you just gotta close your eyes while you throw it all away, or give it away to Good Will or something. My mother and I are both sentimental towards random shit, but last winter she and I just tossed almost everything out of our garage that hadn't been touched since we moved there three years ago, but since it was all our precious stuff we couldn't let go for a while.

It feels good afterwards and I really don't remember half the shit that was tossed. I do know most of it was indeed garbage and was thrown away in the garbage.

Jam it back in, in the dark.