Birthday surprises. What's the etiquette?

I have a friend who's birthday is coming up real soon and he wants to buy something that is pretty expensive. The problem is, his girlfriend already bought it for him for his birthday. So I'm trying to convince him not to buy it so it doesn't screw things up, but his mind is set on buying it. There is nothing I can do to convince him otherwise except to tell him that his girlfriend bought it as a surprise. He is going to buy it within the next couple days so I'm running out of time.

So I think I'm only really down to two options. Have him buy the item anyway and have his girlfriend severely disappointed that he already has it or tell him and ruin the surprise.

I'm leaning toward telling him. IMO it is far easier to get over a surprise than to have to go through exchanges and stuff, plus the fact that his girlfriend is really excited about getting him this and that would ruin it for her too.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

You could tell him that you're getting it for him.

You get him to not buy and you protect his girlfriend. I'd tell the girlfriend what you're planning on doing though or have her give it to him early if he's that hell bent on getting it.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Agreed. It'd save face for her and since you're lying anyways, you won't feel too disappointed at his reaction since you know you're covering for someone else's good intention anyways. Of course inform the girlfriend beforehand so that no awkward misunderstandings pop up unexpectedly. In the meantime, I'd also want to make sure that even if he doesn't think his gf isn't giving him this item, he should think that she has something wonderful up her sleeve for him anyways, regardless of it not being said item. This to be done, so that he doesn't get the wrong impression that one of you is giving him a better gift than the other and also to prevent misconception.

Most amazing jew boots

I told him earlier and he got pissed about it. I had to do it because when we were talking he said he was most likely going to go up and get the item later. I told him not to get it and kept asking why. I tried a bunch of reasons that he shrugged off. I tried the advice from the poster above and he knew I was lying and that his girlfriend got it for him. Probably because he knows I'd never spend even close to that much money on a friend. It was an Xbox 360 Elite if you were wondering. Then he got pissed that I told him.

I was like don't be angry at me, I just saved one of you a whole lot of trouble returning it and on top of that, huge disappointment for her when she sees you already have it. He said something which made no sense. Something like I should've asked to go with him to the store and tried to talk him out of it at the store and then if it didn't work tell him at the register.

This is why I hate being the middle man, but oh well, he'll get over it. I can't tell the girlfriend he knows now because she still thinks it's a surprise and ti would ruin it for all parties involved.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Is it possible that you could do something really clever, like suggest to him that you've heard that a major price-drop is about to hit? It doesn't sound like you need to stall for time for very long. Maybe you could tell him that you desparately need to borrow a couple of hundred bucks until next month.

When he gets the gift, you can explain. He's sure to laugh, and to appreciate the clever way you helped preserve the surprise.

EDIT: Oh well, looks like by submitting this post 20 minutes after I typed it, it became irrelevant.

I was speaking idiomatically.

It can still be a good moment if she thinks HE thinks its a surprise.
Thats the important thing.

Most amazing jew boots

Yeah, seems like you let loose too soon. Just do whatever it takes to make sure she doesn't realize he knows. Afterall, it seems giving gifts is more about gratifying the giver half the time.

FELIPE NO

Jesus christ, she bought him that? Where do I sign up for a girlfriend with money like that. $_$

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

Jesus christ, she bought him that? Where do I sign up for a girlfriend with money like that. $_$

Be good in the sack.


I know it was difficult to keep the original Guitar Hero a secret from me. I was dead set on buying it, just didn't have money though I was going to save what little I had and get it. Thankfully my friends and girlfriend scrounched up some money and they got it for me. That was a rockin (pun definitely intended) birthday.

Jam it back in, in the dark.