Movie Theater Zingers

The thread about movie theater assholes has prompted me to start this thread about funny remarks in movie theaters.

The funniest zinger I've heard in a movie theater was while watching Resident Evil. We had come to the seen where Alice came upon the empty dog cages. I had planned to yell out "who let the dogs out." (Believe me, it seemed funnier at the time.) But before I got the chance to say it some guy merely said "woof" and the entire audience, including me, erupted in laughter. Again, I don't know why it was so funny.

So share any zingers you have said or heard someone else say in a movie theater.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

"That's gotta hurt!" - George Costanza, when the Hindenburg zepplin blows up.

Unfortunately for him, a laser pointer aimed at people's breasts, genitals, and George's own bald head were funnier.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Taterdemalion

The thread about movie theater assholes has prompted me to start this thread about funny remarks in movie theaters.

The funniest zinger I've heard in a movie theater was while watching Resident Evil. We had come to the seen where Alice came upon the empty dog cages. I had planned to yell out "who let the dogs out." (Believe me, it seemed funnier at the time.) But before I got the chance to say it some guy merely said "woof" and the entire audience, including me, erupted in laughter. Again, I don't know why it was so funny.

So share any zingers you have said or heard someone else say in a movie theater.

And movie theater owners think that people stopped going to theaters because of piracy. :\

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

This old guy behind me kept farting while I was watching Memoirs of a Geisha.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I was so angry at how shitty X-Men was - I threw what was left of my sprite at the screen

I was speaking idiomatically.

The appearance of "Kevin" in Sin City(Elijah Wood's character)

"Harry Potter!"

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

When Ultraviolet was done, and the words "THE END" came up, someone yelled out, "FINALLY!"

FELIPE NO

Movie Preview Thingie: "Cinemark Theaters! The best seat in town!"
Random Guy: *disgusted tone* "The ONLY seat in town..."

Was before the Phantom Menace started =p Was a nice chuckle IMHO.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

"Don't go there girlfriend!"

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I usually hate these when they're not funny, yet every other dumbfuck in the theater is cackling like it's the funniest thing since funny came to funtown.

We were watching some movie and there was a trailer for Constantine. Right at the end, when the heroine gets dragged through the office building and silence took over the theater, this hella ghetto fool yells "DAT AIN'T THA MAY-TRIX."

lol.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I remember going to see The Matrix Reloaded on opening night way back when. It was pretty hilarious because half the crowd were decked out in cosplay "Matrix" outfits.

Anyway, during the infamous rave scene, most of the audience were yelling "GET BACK INTO THE MATRIX!" and "WHO CARES ALREADY".
And before that, when Laurence Fishbourne was giving out his speech, some guys yelled out "put on a shirt, homo."

No one was in the theatre when I went to see Revolutions. /shrug

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Hmm... I try to avoid seeing shitty movies, but I'm pleased that I've never really had to experience this sort of idiocy. Who the hell thinks it's cool, witty or funny to be a jackass in the theatre?

To paraphrase Shepherd Book, there's a "special level of hell" they reserve for child molesters... and people who talk at the theater.

How ya doing, buddy?

During the first Matrix movie in the sequence where the agents are chasing Trinity over the rooftops.

Me: "Step in time! Step in time!"

Got a good rise out of the audience.

I was speaking idiomatically.

:THX:

:Everyone cringes:

"The audience is listening."

"The audience is deaf!"


Honestly, that's the most obnoxious noise ever created.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Eleo

"The audience is deaf!"

You been watching Tiny Toons lately?

FELIPE NO

During one movie (I can't remember the title cuz it's irrelevant) there was this group of teens up front who just wouldn't shut up. I think there were a few boob shots or something of that nature in the movie, and every time they came up they'd start cackling like mad. Eventually during one such instance some guy's just like "YO SHUT UP" and the audience pretty much laughed and applauded.

During Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, some Asian girl uttered "Oh my God" when they were at that scene with the stereotypical studyholic Asians. For some reason, it was pretty funny.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

It's always black people.

"EY YO SON WHY BLACK GUY GOTTA ALWAYS DIE FIRST"

::noonecares::

"YO DAT'S MY HOMIE DMX"

::white people roll their eyes::

Jam it back in, in the dark.

"Movie Theater Zingers" aren't funny. They're stupid and obnoxious and people who say stuff during movies, when you're supposed to shut the fuck up, should be dragged to the front row and beaten to a bloody pulp in front of the whole audience.

When my girlfriend and I were watching Red Eye, a small group of younger teenagers were in the row behind us laughing and screaming like morons at parts that weren't that scary, so I turned around and told them, fairly loudly to shut the hell up. People clapped and they were quiet for the rest of the movie.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Dhsu

When Ultraviolet was done, and the words "THE END" came up, someone yelled out, "FINALLY!"

Ahahahaha man, that's awesome.

Originally Posted by Sakabadger

During one movie (I can't remember the title cuz it's irrelevant) there was this group of teens up front who just wouldn't shut up. I think there were a few boob shots or something of that nature in the movie, and every time they came up they'd start cackling like mad. Eventually during one such instance some guy's just like "YO SHUT UP" and the audience pretty much laughed and applauded.

More people need to do this.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Sakabadger

During one movie (I can't remember the title cuz it's irrelevant) there was this group of teens up front who just wouldn't shut up. I think there were a few boob shots or something of that nature in the movie, and every time they came up they'd start cackling like mad. Eventually during one such instance some guy's just like "YO SHUT UP" and the audience pretty much laughed and applauded.

I can't take that shit when people (mostly teens) are annoying. In my area, I don't get many zingers, mostly just asshole teenagers who laugh intentionally loud when the theatre is silent.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?