Disagree with family.

Is love of family more important than expressing yourself? I care about parents very much and I don't like to disagree.

Can anyone help?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I think it's important to have your opinions outside of your family. I also think it's important that your family be aware you have these opinions. Most of the time at least. For instance, my grandma is insanely conservative and extremely homophobic, I doubt I'll ever tell her that many of my friends that she loves are really homosexual. (Considering she believes people are brainwashed into being gay) And, small things, I guess you can disagree with your parents about without telling them. It's the really big things, I guess that you should definately tell them you disagree about.

er...yeah.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The question is...

What is more important, being the person that your family has tried to mold you to be or being the person that you are?

Honestly, I've had a lot of negativity with family. If your family has a problem with how you behave or seem to them, then it is up to you to figure out how to deal with them best (personally I'd use confrontation as a last resort), but it is important to remain true to yourself. That is my opinion.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I'd say it depends. I think it's important to be yourself, but if what you disagree on is something trivial, then it may be better just to keep it to yourself, thereby avoiding a confrontation. On the other hand, if it's a big deal and it has actual consequences for you and/or your family, then you should probably go ahead and get your position out in the open. That way there won't be any surprises at inopportune times.

An example of a somewhat big deal in my case: my dad used to bug me to go to church with him whenever I was over at his place on the weekend, and I would shrug it off and say I didn't want to get up that early. Eventually, he started getting more and more pushy about it, and I ended up having to tell him that I stopped believing in his god in front of his wife and my little brother. I should have been honest with him to start with, but it's kind of difficult disappointing a parent, even if it's just by having a different opinion.

It was worth finally coming clean though. He stopped bugging me to go to church and he got over the whole thing eventually. The same could happen for you.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Be honest about how you feel and think. Its no good to just go along with things just for the sake of being passive aggressive. Your feelings and thoughts on the matter and who you are as a person should learn to be valued, and the love certainly can/will remain.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Depends on the situation. Reminded me a story of a little girl who watched her mom take money from the cashier but it didn't add up. Her mother owe the cashier back the correct change but instead she kept quiet and walked. This girl at the time was learning math and also evils of greed/denial. :\

Do disagree when you feel like you're doing the right thing for YOURSELF. If you feel that it'll hurt the family AND yourself, just keep quiet.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I think it depends on the situation. If it's religion, like tenseiken, you shouldn't be forced into their beliefs, parents or not. But if it's things that deal with adulthood, just listen to what they have to say. They have, what, 25+ years of experience ahead of you, so their words will carry a lot more weight than yours. They know the "real world", and they're just trying to help. They want you to not make the same mistakes they did. At least that is what I believe my mother tries to do when she tells me about her life stories.

It also depends what age you are. If you're <17, you're just too naive to think on your own (even a few 20 somethings are like this). Life isn't so simple when you've hit industry.

Additional Spam:
I would also like to add that if your decision is for selfish and personal reasons, you should probably think twice before committing yourself to it because it may end up being the wrong and more damaging decision. Or if it is for "rebel" reasons, that is even less worthy to think about.

FELIPE NO

So, basically, you've identified yourself as having opinions that differ from those around you.

My advice: It's best to carry an umbrella at all times for when the entire physical world collapses upon itself in times like this.

Alternate plan: Bleat constantly and cover yourself in unprocessed wool.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Some cultures raise children to put parents advice first Crash. I have my own opinion. I'm not stupid.

How ya doing, buddy?

Oh nooooo, you don't. We'll not have you play "victim" and close your own thread just because someone gave an answer you didn't like.

You've also contradicted yourself just now:

Quote:

Some cultures raise children to put parents advice first Crash. I always have my own opinion. I'm not stupid.

Whereas, previously, you asked this:

Quote:

Is love of family more important than choosing expressing yourself? I always have this problem. I care about parents very much and I don't like to disagree. Is this thinking correct and can anyone help me ?

If your culture prioritizes this value and you're okay with the practice, why is it even an issue? If you're bold enough to always have your own opinion, why are you so wishy-washy that you're questioning this in the opening post?

You've either chosen to answer your own question or you simply don't know what it is you even want from anyone in this thread. I gave you a "duh" answer because it's really not a question anyone else can properly answer for you. Personally, I think you already know the answer and are simply looking for a little validation.

Either you allow yourself to be controlled in a way that obviously bothers you, for the sake of tradition, or you do your own thing and stop worrying so much about what others might think about you.

There's not much else anyone here can do for you on the matter.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I was actually interested in the opinion of people. Not looking for advice.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.