Any experience with/knowledge of stalkers??

Admittedly, this thread is mostly inspired from a very disturbing video recently posted on Ebaumsworld in which a deranged guy documents his extreme obsession with pop singer Bjork, claiming to be her angel of death, and constructs a bomb intending to kill her, and then kills himself so they can be together in death (this happened in the 90s but I only learned of it today). I didn't finish the video because my girlfriend and I were watching it and she pleaded with me to close it out because it almost brought her to tears...

ANYWAY, has anyone had to deal with any sort of a stalker? Or does anybody have any insight into the psychology of such a personality? What fuels people to do it? In most cases I'm sure it's some kind of mental imbalance, but there has to be more to it than that.

I have a good female friend who was being terrorized by a guy for a few months a couple years ago. Coincidentally I had gone to high school with him, and I warned my friend that he was kind of CLINGY, so be careful. It turned out to be a nightmare for her because she couldn't escape him. He would constantly call at 2, 3, 4 in the morning and leave belittling messages on her phone, email, IMs, etc. When she told him to stop he would just reply with various forms of "You say you want me to leave you alone, but you're just going through a tough time and you're confused and you don't really know what you want. I'm a good friend and I know what's best for you, etc whatever." I once stayed over at her place and she had gone to sleep but I was still up and her phone kept ringing, so I just picked it and hung it up right away. This wasn't enough to deter him, and he must have tried over ten times, just redialing and redialing.

To my irritation, she refused to get any sort of legal restraint, but she avoided him at all costs and it basically culminated with him getting pissed and calling her a horrible friend and you don't know what it means to be a friend and I'm the best friend you could ask for and I don't deserve to be treated like this so have a nice life.

Similar stories or insight? The whole concept is frightening, especially when there's the possibility of physical threat.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

o_O

Well, I'm not sure if my personal experience will count as stalk, but when I went to Taiwan for vacation a few years ago I was stalked by some middle aged man. I was checking out the street markets and he would follow me everywhere I go... he would walk when I walk, and he'd stop when I stop... and when I looked at him he'd give me the wicked/evil(?) grin, it was hella creepy. He followed me for a while until I ran into a convinence store, he even followed me into the store and tried to grab me but I was hiding behind some shelves. The people who work there eventually noticed something was wrong and asked him to leave or they'd call the police. Then I stayed in the store for a couple mins and ran home, thankfully he wasn't around anymore.

Though it's not as bad to what happened to your friend or Bjork, it still gives me the creep whenever I think about it. :S

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I wonder if he woke up that morning with the intention of following someone around or he saw you and merely decided to do so at that moment.

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Originally Posted by Cellius

I wonder if he woke up that morning with the intention of following someone around or he saw you and merely decided to do so at that moment.

I can't decide which would be creepier...

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Stalkers can really mess you up inside, make it nearly impossible to go outside without being paranoid that anyone could be staring at you. It's very soul destroying to not be able to even walk to the corner shop at the end of your road without going into a panic attack.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Most of the stalker-types are pretty sedate where I'm at now. Information on people is easily available through the internet (esp Facebook) and the student directory, so it happens enough, but most people are fairly 'innocent' in their stalking - they just want to have a chance with the person, and somewhere inside they realize they really don't have one by any normal means.

My cousin has been shadowed by a guy a few times on campus. He used to live in our complex, but moved away 2 years ago, or thereabouts. Just recently starting IMing her and following her around the student union. We're going to beat him up if he tries anything, though. >=D She could do it herself, too, being a black belt in Tae Kwon Do.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

After I got out of a pretty abusive relationship, I was harrased a lot but not really stalked as such. Constant emails, texts, calls all saying we were destined to be together and he would just come down to harrass me in person if I didn't reply and keep on talking to him. By coincidence though, I moved house about a month after I left him, and then changed number. The emails stopped about a month after that. Not the worst experience ever, especially when compared to the relationship itself, but it's the closest I've gotten...

FELIPE NO

A while ago there was a guy who used to take my bus home from school. He would just sit there, and stare at, what seemed like a random person the whole time, guy or girl, didn't matter. A few times he'd stare at me, which i guess was just more annoying than anything, but it really bugged me when he would stare at either of my sisters, or my female friends. The really weird thing is that even after he got off the bus, he would walk back wards, or stand by the window closest to his target that day, and continue to try to stare at them until the bus went out of his sight. I'm a black belt in Karate, so i know how to defend myself if he tries any shit, but lots of other people on that bus i know whouldn't be able to handle themselves.

Once he wasn't there, so i took that chance to ask the driver if he knew anything about him. The driver said he had been getting quite a few complaints about him latley, and that he was prepared to tell the guy to stay off of his bus. I never saw him again.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Helloween

The really weird thing is that even after he got off the bus, he would walk back wards, or stand by the window closest to his target that day, and continue to try to stare at them until the bus went out of his sight.

For some reason I can really vividly imagine this, and it must have been extremely unsettling!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I guess the closest thing I have is when I was working at Albertsons. A mexican came through the register I was bagging at with his groceries, then he gave me a paper. I can't remember what it said... one of those flirty poems. Then he came back again with flowers and gave them to me. Sweet... but I didn't know him so I was freaked out. He stood outside waiting for me. The manager told me to gather carts off the lots and I told her I couldn't because this guy is out there waiting for me.

We eventually called another manager who said if he comes back in to call him up front. Yeah, he came back in and came to my register and the manager came and pulled me away, and the mexican was getting pretty mean to the cashier trying to get my phone number. He's not aloud in the store now. There were a few other instances, but that was the biggest. I gave those flowers to a fellow employees girlfriend. They had no meaning to me... well actually they did, and it wasn't a good one.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Ummm.... wow....

No, I cannot say I have experienced anything like that before and I really hope that will never happen in my entire life. I wonder if there is a lot of this celebrity stalker stuff... or if this is a more rare case. I wonder what goes through a person head during something like this. This film gave me more questions than answers.

I am from a small area, so this stalking stuff doesn't really happen without someone knowing.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I underestimated the severity of stalking up until I read this thread. Some of the stories posted here are really frightening and unsettling. Fortunately I've never had any experience with any stalkers and haven't even heard much about the matter up until now. One thing's for sure: I'll be more wary of strangers now that I've had a glance at this thread. The thought of feeling insecure and paranoid every time you go outside makes my skin crawl. Stalkers are creepy and have the potential to ruin a person's life.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?