Trying to get this guy

Hey, so my problem is simple:

I'm attracted to this guy, and I'm not sure how to handle the situation; I know it's not love because I've only been aquainted with him, I don't know shit about him, and it's purely infatutation (he's hot!).

He knows I like him;I told him over the internet and he's cool with it; but I sense that he's sort of trying to avoid me at school and such, and we rarely say hi even when we see each other.

Our only sort of communication outside of school is email, in which most of the time I am sending and he is replying with short reponses. Of course since this is my chase, I'm going to making the moves, but is there anyway this can pick up and fly?

I'm probably not looking for a relationship, more like a fuckbuddy or a friend with (good) benefits. What should I do to express this without embarrassing myself or whatever?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

well, how long have you known this guy? also how old are you two? i mean, if you are young, its pretty hard to do such a relationship.
To get to *ahem* fuckbuddy status, i'd have to say developing a more casual relationship, as in, get to know him a whole lot better. As in, best friends kind of way. You have to have a lot in common, or at least I think so, unless it won't work at all, and it'll just end up in a huge heap of a mess.

from the way it sounds its just a small crush =\ getting to know him better is the first step in anything, and that means beyond email/aiming/messaging etc.

How ya doing, buddy?

Are you female?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Silly Ramoth. We all know that the 10% of gays in the population congregate on GFF (I still don't know why) to make up about 35% of our male population.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Most guys are cool with the fuckbuddy status. Just straight tell him that's what you're looking for. He could be a bit worried about jumping into a committed relationship. If you let him know it's fun with no strings attached, he might look at it differently.

I was speaking idiomatically.

There's two conflicting ideas here: 1. make good friends first OR 2. hope for a good response from a direct question.

The making good friends part is sort of difficult because
1. yea, closet case both ways.
2. his friends are my aquaintances as well
3. last years of high school
4. Don't want to out him and he doesn't want to be outted (yet).

The direct question one is definately easier but could end uncomfortably; should that risk be worth it or should I wait it out?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Just IM him.
Then if it doesn't work you can be all "I was just kidding! Internet is Serious Business! lololol"

FELIPE NO

The question I have is:

How OLD are you?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

How do you even know he'd be interested in a guy, if you don't really even know him. When you first met him did he say, "Pleased to meet you I'm a closet homosexual SHHHHH DON'T TELL," or what?

Also, how old are you? And how old is he?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by r[aV]el

3. last years of high school

I'd imagine 17 or 18.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

If you only want a fuck buddy to finish the rest of your high school days, tell him.

"I want a fuck buddy and you seem like a good choice. You down?"

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Quote:

Our only sort of communication outside of school is email, in which most of the time I am sending and he is replying with short reponses. Of course since this is my chase, I'm going to making the moves, but is there anyway this can pick up and fly?

The guy does'nt know how to tell you fuck off nicely. So he is in "fading out" mode. He's not cool with you "liking him". Stop emailing him and you'll see what I mean.

You should get no emails from him during this "test" I want you to run. I'm not a homosexual or anything, but heartbreaks are all the same, so don't get your hopes up just yet.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by RacinReaver

I'd imagine 17 or 18.

He could also be 16, since "last years of high school" is specifically vague. But, I'll go the middle route and say 17.

And my advice--drop it. Sounds like he's not interested in ANY type of relationship.

You moved too fast, my friend. You should have cultivated a friendship first--not online, but in person--which would have been easy since you two know the same people. This way, both of you would have been more comfortable with each other.

And, he says he doesn't want to be outted--respect that some more and back off from the pursuit. You never know, he might one day say, "I'm ready."

I was speaking idiomatically.

You can try to get him, but don't try too hard. No one(male, female, straight, gay, lesbian) likes someone constantly nagging them about how they like them when they don't like you in return. Some people don't know how to tell you they don't like you without hurting your feelings. Telling someone you don't like them might make them assume you think they are ugly when that isn't the case.

So I say tell him you like him and just flat out proposition a relationship or ask him if he wants to go out to a movie or something. If he declines or you get an uneasy feeling then just let it go right there.

How ya doing, buddy?

Thanks for all the help everyone!

Alright to clear some stuff up:

1. I'm 16 turning 17, he's 17 almost 18.
2. We knew each other since we both are in the same circle of friends, and we've talked a few times in a school trip to another state once.
3. I came out to him after inviting him to a gay chatroom- he obviously isn't interested in girls.
4. He seemed okay with it, we talked for a while.
5. He only emailed me once without me emailing him, and he said
"Hey just wanted to say sorry if i kinda neglected you. Everytime i see you i get kinda scared or a little nervous to say hi haha kinda dumb i know." that's a quote.
6. We haven't talked face to face since the email incident besides two hand waves two seperate times.


So I think it would be best if I asked him to a movie or something and see if he is interested at all. Any last thoughts before I jump off the cliff?

FELIPE NO

Yeah, for a dude who doesn't like the stuff, you certainly act like a pussy. Man up and tell the guy.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Well, that's just it--he's already told him that he likes him. Now the problem is going from that to: "Wanna be fuck buddies?" It's a pretty big step for someone at that age, especially when the other person doesn't want to be outted.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

What is there to be outted about? You're hanging out watching basketball. No one needs to know he's slapping balls against your chin.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

It's HIGH school...you KNOW how people talk.....

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I fucked plenty of people's girlfriends in high school. Very few of them ever got out to the public knowledge.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Denicalis

I fucked plenty of people's girlfriends in high school. Very few of them ever got out to the public knowledge.

Why am I laughing at this comment? WHY?!

But, seriously, just do group things with your friends and talk during those times. As I said before, get to be more comfortable with each other first.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Comfort has nothing to do with sex. Just make your intentions well known and then go to it. Getting intimate will only bring emotions into a loveless, sex filled romp.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The only reason I say "get comfortable" is because the other guy seemed chicken shit about the whole "I like you" thing. If they hung out a little more, he'd see that ravel isn't someone to be scared of.

And, besides, a lot of people ARE turned off by someone they barely know saying, "wanna be fuck buddies?"

Strange, I know....

FELIPE NO

Well after reading Leknaat's post I was a little disheartened; I would hate to drop this after what happened already.

I am regretting maybe moving too fast, I was thinking that maybe I didn't really WANT a boyfriend relationship and just wanted some fun.

and how does cultivating a relationship go? I actually don't ever remember approaching ANYONE about being friends (I always GET approached). It would be awkward due to the fact that we already know each other, and he already knows about me, and all this friends surround him in a bubble all 8hours of school.

Additional Spam:
btw his friends aren't my 'friends'. They are my aquaintances, meaning I know who they are and they know who I am. That's the best it's gonna get. Another question brought by this can be " How to get some alone time to talk?"

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Well, ravel, you've already started cultivating a relationship online. Ask him in an e-mail if he wants to do something. No pressure. No strings attached.

Play a video game, play basketball, skateboarding--whatever. But make sure he knows there are no strings attached. And if he still feels awkward, tell him to bring a friend, and you can, too.

Since you're a year apart it's harder--I made my friends through my classes and interests.

Part of my problem is: I'm a talker, so I talk to people all the time.....

Jam it back in, in the dark.