Turkey alternatives for Xmas

Let's face it. Turkey's shite. It's bland, it's dry and it's fucking dull. In fact, why do we have fucking Turkey? We never have it at any other time of the year, why now?

Anyway, any alternatives?
Last year I had duck & goose. They were both acceptable as I remember but bearing in mind I was shitfaced on port & brandy at the time. I could have been eating dog-shit for all I remember.

For those of you in non Christian-religions/ non-Turkey eating countries; what do you have around twenty-something days time?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Well, the turkey I have at home for Christmas is REALLY good, but that is because my Mom and my Sister are amazing at cooking and baking.

We also have turkey because when don't eat it often. However, my Dad has suggested having duck or goose for Christmas. I think they are kind of weary at this point though. I am sure my cousin will be having something like that.

I know my other cousins have Ham instead of turkey for Christmas. Which is fine by me. I eat anything.... well, for the most part.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Fuck, turkey on Christmas? My family never has turkey on Christmas. We're so sick of turkey after Thanksgiving that even mentioning the word gets you beheaded. Hell, I'm tired of cooking turkey at this point in the year.

We always have some sort of ham on Christmas. Sometimes we'll have a roast instead. Those rare occasions when we have many people over we'll have both.

I've heard of some people eating chicken or fish on Christmas (WTF?). But you can have chicken any day of the year. Sounds kind of cheap to me. As for fish.. well, I guess it depends on the type of fish you're eating. Alot of breeds just wont be very great for a Christmas dinner.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

We always have home-made cheese lasagna for Christmas. So much better than Turkey.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

although I enjoy turkey on Thanksgiving, we've made substitutes before, one time, we had a big plate of assorted fish dishes

I was speaking idiomatically.

We always have turkey on the major holidays and on many Sundays. My mom makes turkey very well and I love the stuffing.

However if there is a time we do not have a turkey, we will have a chicken or Tur instead.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Last year we had ostrich after a guy an hour's drive away from where we were staying established a farm for the things. Tasted like turkey and looked like turkey.

The year prior, though, we were in Austria and had trout. Very, very strong-tasting, but great regardless.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by SILBER-5

Fuck, turkey on Christmas? My family never has turkey on Christmas. We're so sick of turkey after Thanksgiving that even mentioning the word gets you beheaded. Hell, I'm tired of cooking turkey at this point in the year.

In Canada, Thanksgiving is in October (First weekend), so there is more of a break between that and Christmas.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

We always have turkey, but I tend to go for the Swedish meatballs (my family being of Swedish descent) instead, 'cause they're probably the raddest way you can take meat and make it into a ball.

Also, agreed with turkey being bland and having all of those other negative qualities as well.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

well we usually have my cousin's family over for christmas so we have both a turkey and a ham but I never ate any of the turkey. Since my uncle died they stopped coming down for christmas so we ditched the turkey and stuck with the ham. Ham is way better anyhow.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Sal

Let's face it. Turkey's shite. It's bland, it's dry and it's fucking dull. In fact, why do we have fucking Turkey? We never have it at any other time of the year, why now?

Anyway, any alternatives?
Last year I had duck & goose. They were both acceptable as I remember but bearing in mind I was shitfaced on port & brandy at the time. I could have been eating dog-shit for all I remember.

For those of you in non Christian-religions/ non-Turkey eating countries; what do you have around twenty-something days time?

Um.

Christmas Ham. Thanksgiving Turkey.



You have ham for Christmas, glazed with a pineapple or so on it. I've had turkey before, but it's like a repeat of Thanksgiving, so it isn't anything special.

Ham for me, though I would think duck or goose would work out well.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Just like what others have said, there's nothing wrong with ham. Though, I don't think my family does a special dinner for Christmas. I think we just either go to someone else's house and have what they have (and that could be just about anything), or snack on things.

Besides, I've had so much turkey this past week that if I even see any more I'll puke.

Most amazing jew boots

I am quite fond of a sweet, moist ham for Christmas. We tried a sliced ham one of these years, and it was dry as hell! BOGUS! But ham... I love ham. Christmas is the perfect time for ham, in my opinion. Because I hardly ever get to eat slabs of ham otherwise (note to self, get some ham next time you go out to eat.)

My buddy's family is doing a fondue. A fondue is an acceptable christmas meal, me thinx.

And for fun, have a shit-ton of stuffing with the juicy ham. Yes...

I was speaking idiomatically.

a) if the turkey you are eating is shite, then blame the cook... not the bird. Some amazing things can be done with a bird if done properly.

b) alternatives to turkey? Ham and goose are more of a traditional style meat for the Christmas season. Again, preparation of these are key to whether or not you have a good meal or a shite meal.
If neither of those tickle the palette, might I suggest a nice prime rib roast? Or just do something that is totally out of character for the season... and do up something that would be more of a summer main course. A couple of years ago I went and did a Pacific Rim theme for my holiday meal and folks loved it.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Hmm. Where have I been? I thought turkey was only eaten during thanksgiving.:/ Anyways, usually for christmas since im hmong and all, I like to make a special spiced beef stir fry along with rice of course.

FELIPE NO

For christmas, my family usually makes the traditional "julbord" (literally means "christmas table" and is usually an assortment of various foods, like meatballs, potatoes, ham, fish etc etc). There's no turkey in there, but my family has, on occasion, tried eating turkey on new year's eve. It has always come out dry and bland, though, so we've swapped the turkey for plain old traditional chicken instead. Lately, though, my mom tried a new turkey recipe and it turned out remarkably good. So good, in fact, that we're thinking of making it a new tradition. But, seeing as I won't be around for new year's this year, I'll be missing out on a real treat. OUCH!

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

We have chicken. Chicken is awesome. Or roasted pigs. Still awesome.

How ya doing, buddy?

My family usually has lechon (roasted pig) for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Mostly on my dad's side though. Personally, i'd eat little parts of it, but I put in a request to my aunt to get teriyaki chicken for me. In short, we'd have the turkey, but no one would ever eat it. I don't like turkey personally, so whatever.

I don't see the amazingness of turkey anyway.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Okay should have clarified:
UK doesn't have Thanksgiving/ Turkey Day or whatever the hell it is. Xmas for us = Turkey. Usually.

Niekon: unless Gordon Ramsay cooks your Xmas lunch, what the hell do with Turkey to make it 'good'? Regardless of chef or what the hell you do with it, it always just tastes like Turkey. Bland. And dry. Do tell me your magical secret.

Having said that, your flag has given me an idea: Haggis. I love it but it's been god knows how long since I had it.

As most of the Merkins are saying Ham; how is it usually prepared. Get a lump of ham here and it's usually salty as fuck, even if you soak it for 24 hours before hand. Are US hams prepared/sold differently or what?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Every Christmas, we eat the same thing: Chinese food ...

Yup, we don't do anything special on holidays. I don't like turkey myself. I prefer chicken and duck, especially roast or peking duck. Mmmm...

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Sal

Niekon: unless Gordon Ramsay cooks your Xmas lunch, what the hell do with Turkey to make it 'good'? Regardless of chef or what the hell you do with it, it always just tastes like Turkey. Bland. And dry. Do tell me your magical secret.

Having said that, your flag has given me an idea: Haggis. I love it but it's been god knows how long since I had it.

As most of the Merkins are saying Ham; how is it usually prepared. Get a lump of ham here and it's usually salty as fuck, even if you soak it for 24 hours before hand. Are US hams prepared/sold differently or what?

Turkey: you want a non-dry bird? You want some added flavor to the meat? I'd suggest getting creative with your bird. An overnight brine works well. Water, kosher salt, and whatever else... my last brine included a pound (1/2 a kilo) of honey. The bird had a nice sweet taste to it... it helped that I smoked the bird as well.
Another option is doing something like slipping sage leaves between the skin and meat of the bird. While it may not sound simple, after doing so for the first time this year I found it rather easy once I got the hang of it.

Cooking time is a hot issue too. If you are shooting for 180F (82C) then I'd actually be pulling that bird out of the heat source at about 165-170F (74-77C) since there will be residual heat in the bird that will continue to cook after removed from the oven (or the grill in my case). Some would even go so far as to pull it at 160F (71C)... but that would mean playing the safety game at that point.
Sadly, most people who are preparing turkeys are in the oven up to the 180 mark and that's where you are seeing overly dry birds.


Now... on to the hams...
There are several varieties of ham... most folks in the States know the "city ham" style which is a wet cure. From what you are describing you're dealing with a dry cure which is extremely salty. But that can be dealt with rather easily...

Quote:

1 country (dry cured) ham
1 liter Dr. Pepper
1 cup sweet pickle juice, optional

Unwrap ham and scrub off any surface mold (if you hung in a sack for 6 months you'd have mold too). Carefully remove hock with hand saw. (If this idea makes you eye your first aid kit, ask your butcher to do it. But make sure you keep the hock, it's the best friend collard greens ever had.)

Place ham in cooler and cover with clean water. (As long as it's not too dirty you can use what southerners call the "hose pipe"). Stash the cooler in the bushes. If it's summer, throw in some ice. If it's freezing out, keep the cooler inside. Change the water twice a day for two days turning the ham each time.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Place ham in a large disposable turkey-roasting pan and add enough Dr. Pepper to come about halfway up the side of the ham. Add pickle juice if you've got it and tent completely with heavy-duty foil. Cook for 1/2 hour then reduce heat to 325 degrees F, and cook another 1 1/2 hours.

Turn the ham over, insert an oven safe thermometer (probe-style is best) and cook another 1 1/2 hours, or until the deepest part of the ham hits 140 degrees F (approximately 15 to 20 minutes per pound total).

Let rest 1/2 hour then slice paper-thin. Serve with biscuits or soft yeast rolls.

Cooks note: Even after soaking, country ham is quite salty, so thin slicing is mandatory. If you're a bacon fan, however, cut a thicker (1/4-inch) slice and fry it up for breakfast.

That's an Alton Brown recipe if anyone is wondering... not a fan of the Dr Pepper but it did add something rather good to the ham when I prepared it myself.

And beyond those types of ham there are several more... with the honey-baked ham being a holiday staple it seems anymore in the States. Definitely well prepared... and easy for any host/hostess to prep. Toss it into the oven for a heating... and it's ready to go after that... remove a bone... and it falls into slices. ^_^

I was speaking idiomatically.