What the shit!?

Literally. I walk outside today and there are bird shits on top my car's hood. In the past I've had some pigeons or some other fucks shit on me, one square in the head. I don't know if you have ever heard that getting shat on by a bird's supposed to be good luck, I wonder what idiot came up with that cause-and-effect fallacy, because I would like to take a piss on him and say it's gonna be for good luck, but I wish I had a gun like in this prank video to cap those faggot-ass birds: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Lief1b2Wck.

Reminds me of a segment of this Mr. Bean series where he's brushing his teeth in his car and he rinses out his mouth and spits it out his windows: the milky-white concoction lands haply into the buttcrack of some guy kneeling over under a tree, he reaches back to find what hit him and after seeing the whitish liquid he instinctly looks up into the tree to find the bird that supposedly shit on him. Found the clip of him being late for his dentist appointment and rushing there and what I described above: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/147562...t_the_dentist/

It's bad enough that they desecrate national monuments and statues and things of that nature, or fly under the eaves of your house and lay their eggs and make all sorts of racket in the morning. Anyone else ever had those asshole birds shit on you or on your car after you just washed and waxed it? Luckily there aren't very many birds where I live due to it's so damn hot, but what about those of you that live near the beach with all those damn seagulls or anywhere else that has a lot of birds? Do you find yourselves ducking when birds fly overhead?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

On the rare occasion, yes I dodge birds. They have a tendency of crapping just right... and especially when you don't notice.

As a result, I try avoiding anywhere there may be birds. So I try to live in a birdless environment.

However, most birds are not the type to fly near overhead you, such as robins, and other small birds, so I don't worry about them. Crows, and seagulls on the other hand would probably land on you and crap if you don't move....

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Luckily the bird poo never made contact with my head or anything, although I saw a huge splatter on our car windshield one time, and was surprised my dad didn't notice it. In close proximity after the time he cleaned the car, we came back from shopping one time and I noticed a giant splotch of white/brown/green poop. Gross, I wouldn't want it to rain before getting a chance to clean that off.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I think my bumper is like magnetically attracted to birds. I mean, they just come from no where. I sort of feel bad about it but then I'm like, damn, they shouldn't be running into moving vehicles and shit.

I hate when they chirp, though. Some people are all like "aw, the birds sound so pretty" but I just don't get it. I kind of have dreams about genocide of birds, I hate that damn chirping so much.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Such hatred for birds. Don't have any bird problems and really, we are the problem, not the birds. We build where they live, or make what would be suitable homes for them to live in. Might as well just get rid of all the trees. That'd show them birds who's boss!


By the way, that video was funny.

How ya doing, buddy?

Everyone who's ever watched Hitchcock knows that birds are evil. Stay away!

But yeah, you'd think getting crapped on by a bird would be a once-in-a-life-time experience, but a friend of mine whom at the time I hadn't seen in a few years got hit while we were hanging out. De Javu by all, since the last time we were together she got hit as well... I guess her face reads "toilet" in bird language ;_;

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The seagulls where what got me all the time. Before the fisheries closed, we would gut our fish on the boat after we where done jigging. The gulls would surround us and we would get shit on a time or two, even when the boat is going the buzzards still follow us.

To this day when the food fisheries open once a year, it is generally the same story.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Maico

Do you find yourselves ducking when birds fly overhead?

Why would you duck? Ducking, if anything, would actually increase the amount of surface area exposed to a vertically falling projectile, increasing the chance of bird shit hitting you, and therefore being a bad idea.

But no, can't say I do. It's one of those things that can happen, and whilst it's fucking annoying and rather irritating if it does happen to you, there's not much that can be done except curse a little, clean yourself up and move on.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I only got birdshit on me once in my life. And it was in a church. So now I just dodge churches. Never got birdshit ever since.

VICTOLY!

Jam it back in, in the dark.