Cock Blocking a Friend...

So i'm starting to date this woman. She's pretty sweet and nice, which is a complete 180 from all the PSYCHO BITCHES that i have dated in the past. But 2 things kind of stand in the way... 1, she is a friend's sister, which to me is no big deal. It's her life so she chose to date me.

2. Before I met her, my friend Thomas was trying to get with her. Not getting anywhere but still was trying. Once I stepped into the picture( I was introduced to her), I could tell she liked me. I'm trying to sound cocky but just subtle hints. Know what I mean?

Well, I feel really bad b/c my friend considers me one of his close buddies and damn, friends aren't suppose to do that to other friends. He says that he doesnt' care but I can tell that he is a bit bitch pissy about it. I don't blame him... he says that "no, it's nothing, don't worry about it" but I know that it is probably bugging the shit out of him.

Now I stand a point where I go... "Bro's before...ho's, i guess..." She's not a hoe- she's actually... complete striaght Edge....something new for me b/c most of the girls I go for are druggies, drunks, smokers, or wild party party chicks.

So sit by my bro or stick by the girl? I mean, I really don't wanna choose but... damn.... I get the feeling that I'm going to come to that cross-road sometime.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

It's not like he was ever dating her. I'd say you've got a point if you were talking about dating his ex-girlfriend, or something like that, but he does not have any kind of basis to say you betrayed him. The girl likes you better. She isn't gonna start liking your buddy any better if you step aside, so why the hell should you?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Furby

So i'm starting to date this woman. She's pretty sweet and nice, which is a complete 180 from all the PSYCHO BITCHES that i have dated in the past.

No one goes into a relationship thinking a girl is a psycho bitch, but they always seem to turn out that way. Give it time....

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Don't tell me that Park... for the love of god, please don't tell me that....

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I've always been told that if I say "Its nothing, don't worry about it" to any man, he will say 'ok' and continue along his merry way. He will not worry about it further, as, guess what, I told him not to worry about it.

I suggest you continue along your merry way with this girl. If he has been trying and failing for a long time, while you walked right in there and already have more success then him, he's got to accept that somehow. It's her choice.

Just think of it this way: If he ever says something to you about 'getting in his way' or the like, you can always say that he told you not to worry about it. He may start getting testy if you guys are always spending time together, in that case you need to know when it's time to play cards with the guys as opposed to watching chick-flicks for the 13th night in a row to appease her. Don't forget about the guys just because she's around.

Of course, this is from a girl's perspective, so a ton of guys may come along and be like "Dude, dont ever cock-block a buddy!". But, a girl's perspective is now out there.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I wouldn't worry so much about "bro's before hoe's". If you are good friends, your friend might actually not mind you dating his sister. The trouble will/can come when you break up with the girl but are still friends with her brother. It might be weird seeing her all the time after you broke up.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I agree with what most people have said, I guess when you hang out with the friend, just don't talk about or bring the girl along. If he was really a friend he should wish the both of you happy.

FELIPE NO

Yeah, a good middle ground would be to just keep the two relationships far apart. If he asks you about her tell him what he wants to hear. It's his problem for asking.

I do, however, believe in "bro's before hoes," just with different wording. Chances are you're not going to marry this broad, and chances are this friend will be in your life and more worthwhile than this woman will ever be. Sure, she never saw an interest in him and he's not losing anything, but it hurts to see someone you have feelings for with a friend of yours. Personally, I naturally see any boyfriend of a girl I like as an enemy of sorts... That would get confusing if a friend of mine ever went out with a girl I wanted to be with.

We can talk logically about how people should react to this or we can talk emotionally. I think the latter ismore important here.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

All is fair in love and war.

"Is it ok for me to throw this grenade?"
"sure"
"why the fuck did you throw the grenade?"
"..because you said i could"

If he really wanted her then he'd say, "wait, give me some time." but he didn't. You're not a mind reader even if it's obvious he doesn't want you to get with her. He gave you the ok, GO FOR IT!

Jam it back in, in the dark.

No, he told you it was okay because he's your friend. His real opinion is STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER. You, as his friend, should hear out his acceptance and STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER. See? It's all formality but we know what's really going on.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I agree with Omi-Cron. You gotta think of the big picture, girls will come and go, but friends are forever (at least, they should be). Furby, you, yourself, said that the other girls you dated were all psycho-bitches. You couldn't have known that UNTIL you started dating them, this might turn out the same way. I would never lose a friendship over a girl. Don't let your little mind make decisions that your big mind should be making.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Exactly. Trust me buddy, I have big regrets in this area. I've made enemies over shit like this. Not ONE of those girls is still in my life to this day.

But, parkbench, I actually have gone after girls knowing pull well they were nuts. =/,,,,

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Well, the sex IS better when the girls are nuts...

I was speaking idiomatically.

I honestly wouldn't know about that point in particular but I guess that'd be true. Kinda cool fighting for your life while fucking I'd imagine.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Omi-Cron Kenobi

I honestly wouldn't know about that point in particular but I guess that'd be true. Kinda cool fighting for your life while fucking I'd imagine.

I don't know about that...


Anyways, I don't think you should stop dating this girl because your "bro" likes her. He DOES say it's ok, and if he really is your friend, he'll understand and move on. It's not like they were dating and, if he's been unsuccessful with this girl for a long time, he'll probably keep being unsuccessful in the future as well. Hey, you might even be doing him a favor by dating this "ho", you know?

FELIPE NO

It never ceased to amaze me how insensitive women can be in this area. FUCK HIS FEELINGS.

Also, that was a disturbing article. Thanks.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

It's not insensitive at all. There was nothing between these two. Why should he pass up a potentially great relationship just because his friend has the hots for this girl he never even went out with? That's just silly. And time won't work, either. Either a chick likes you or she doesn't. I love it when guys think they can "work" on a girl until he makes her like him when the reality is that she liked you from the beginning and you didn't realize it.

I say go for it, Furby. It would be completely different if your friend had ever had a relationship with this girl.

And trust me, parkbench. There are just as many pshcho bastards out there as there are psycho bitches.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I learned a new word here. 'Cockblocking.'

Well, if you ask me, I don't see my close friends giving a fuck about dating a girl that they know I like, so why should you care? Besides, after a while most guys just accept it and end up having hots for some other guys anyway.

So, just go for it.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I'll only concede on the point that it's not like they were together before. I understand the majority of your points weren't directed at me but this comes down to emotions and not necessarily what did or didn't happen or what was felt by only one of the two parties and whatnot. In the end you have to see how much this will affect your friend and if it's really worth it.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Well, I guess if he feels that he is TRULY in love with her then things would be different. But that would also mean that Furby's friend is a little bit insane, wouldn't it?

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True. Or he's just 14 like I was and confused. This shit never ends right.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Omi-Cron Kenobi

We can talk logically about how people should react to this or we can talk emotionally. I think the latter ismore important here.

This is exactly what I was going to say.

There is a tendency in life, and especially on the forums, for people to act a bit too coldly and rationally when dealing with other people. And assuredly, the rational way is the right way. But, of course, this is a very sensitive issue for your friend. He obviously knows that the rational thing to do is to 'not care', but he still does, somehow. That's because he's human and privy to emotions.

If I were you, I'd go ahead (after all, there is nothing wrong) but be very, very sensitive. Make only the smallest remarks to the friend about her, and make sure to spend time with him - if you were seeing him three times a week, don't start waiting for once a month. It'll be completely unjustified.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Thanks for the advice of all. So far so good but the friend is trying to be cool w/ it but at the sametime he is now turning emo at certain points and it's creepy..

FELIPE NO

Well, the most important thing is that you both remain concerned about his feelings. From her perspective, though, I can totally sympathize with her because if he is acting all pouty and sullen around her she's probably ready to make him understand in a not-so-kind way that there was nothing between them to start with and that he needs to grow the hell up.

But he's your friend, so no doubt you have more patience with him. Hopefully he'll be able to move on soon and will realize that it's better to be with someone who wants you back.

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So if the general mentality is that girls come and go, why would your friend be acting all weird over a girl that--by this stupid man logic--is just going to get ditched for the sake of friendship ANYWAY.

I mean lets be honest, the whole "bros before ho's" thing is pretty retarded. I can understand putting friendship before romance when it comes to dating an ex, but in a situation like this where the girl didn't show any apparent romantic interest in your friend, and you persued... It just seems a little ridiculous.

You're a good guy to be thinking about the well-being of your friend, but I wouldn't harp on it for too long. I'd say if you wanted to do something nice for your friend, go bar-hopping or something with him. Go out and find a girl for him or whatever, you know?


It's totally a chick scheme right there, but hey, it could work.

Jam it back in, in the dark.