Is this a signal?

So I've been looking for a jacket for like a week now and been to different kind of stores. The thing is, there's this amazingly good looking girl in one store that I like. I kinda liked her the first time I saw her, but I didn't really realize how much until today.

I've only talked to her once, and it was the time when I came to the shop near closing time. She said it was ok, just look around because she wasn't in any rush.

Anyways, today I went back to that store to check if they had new jackets. I asked her about a size to a grey jacket and then a few minutes later, she came back to me and said that I could get it for half prize.

Is this a signal or just out of kindness? Maybe she knew that they were going to have a sale or something next week and then just told me first?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I don't think giving someone a discount means you like the person. She was probably just being nice.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

If you like her, just ask her out or something the next time you're in there?

I don't think any of us can get inside her head, so I'm not going to answer your question.

How ya doing, buddy?

I wanted to tell her how pretty she was today. But I couldn't...
I kinda regret it badly... I'm going to tell her that on monday!

Would it be strange if I ask her out on the same day? "Hey, I think you're pretty, want to go out?"
Hmmm... I really don't want to buy something just to talk with her. Then again, I can't just go like:

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Regardless or not you think she likes you, if you like her then go for it. I don't think its weird asking someone out on a date during work. Just be casual. Catch her working and ask if she wants to go out for coffee during her break. Also make sure you dont go into the coffee break with alterior motives, just be yourself and talk.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by gaming

Would it be strange if I ask her out on the same day? "Hey, I think you're pretty, want to go out?"

I wasn't sure at first, so I asked my girlfriend and she says that qualifies as a weird pickup line. That's not a good thing!

I think the problem here lies in the implied assumption that you think "you're pretty" is enough of a basis for a relationship. I know that that may be true for us guys, but girls are weird. They think you need things like common interests, personality, you name it.


In my opinion/experience, you should talk to her first and find out something about her other than her looks and the fact that she works at a clothes store. If there's anything at all that you have in common (live role playing, figure skating, croquett, etc.), invite her to go do that thing with her. It's much more likely to be effective.

If you insist on asking her out without any "background", at least have something to do. "Wanna go out?" is bad, bad, bad. Try "Hey, there's this awesome band Envy playing in a few days, and I got an extra ticket. Would you like to check 'em out? They really rock bla bla bla". That might work if she really likes you already.

EDIT: To answer the original question of the thread--I don't know. I don't think she dislikes you, at the very least.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Giving you a discount is not a signal. It just means that she's not initially repulsed by the way you look and act.

Overall, it's pretty neutral.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by christinajon

I don't think giving someone a discount means you like the person. She was probably just being nice.

Seconded.

When I worked at Wendy's, there was two bags of frosty malt that were expiring the following day from a shift I was working. Now, as a chain, Wendy's will NOT serve food past the due date regardless of whether it is still good or not so rather than toss the malt, we just gave away free frosties to random patrons. As luck would have it, it was my moderately attractive self who was doing order taking that night.
Interestingly enough all the men who got free frosties were like "AWESOME, DUDE!!!" but man the women... The response was much different.
Rat "Would you like a free frosty with that meal"
Young attractive female patron of approx early 20s
"Free? Why?"
Rat "We're giving them away as part of a promotion today"
Young Attractive Female
"Well, alright"

The young elegable women always thought I was hitting on them, even thought we made it clear that it was part of a promotion. Talk about awkwardness.


So ya, she's probably being nice to you, kid. If you really are interested you can ask her to go see a movie with you or something. The worst thing that can happen is that she can turn you down. Worth a shot.

***

A female friend of mine also says that telling a girl that she is pretty is rather shallow. Just see if she is interested in spending time with you in a nonthreatening environment. Simple.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Kindness. You're a customer and she's an employee. She must just have a kind personality to do that for you, very nice btw. I'd hate to burst your bubble but there's probably nothing in that.

Now, if she approached you and made it a point to find out when you were free, that's a signal. I'd say anything below flirting doesn't count.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by splur

Now, if she approached you and made it a point to find out when you were free, that's a signal.

Have you ever met a woman who did this? Because I sure haven't. And I think that goes a bit beyond a "signal".

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Just ask her out and find out for yourself.

How ya doing, buddy?

I'm just afraid I can't shop there anymore if she turns me down

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Its your judgement call. If you're that worried then don't do it. I mean, you seem unsure about the situation so better play it safe than sorry.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Well I've only worked in the corporate retail world, I don't know if this is a little mom and pop store but overall, giving people discounts out of the kindness of their hearts wouldn't fly very well with their managers, especially if they're at the bottom of the sale totem pole. It sounds like it was on sale or damaged or the last one or a multitude of other reasons, random 50% discounts don't just happen out of the blue.

I'd say, if you really feel that she's interested and not just being nice, say hey I was wondering if you would like to grab some coffee whenever you're free, leave your number and leave. See if she calls you and if she doesn't then no harm done. As long as when you go back and shop there and you act like it isn't wierd, then she shouldn't either. Still be friendly but without any expectations.

Don't hang around trying to catch an open opportunity to talk to her, it's just awkward for both parties and possibly stalker-y.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by surasshu

Have you ever met a woman who did this? Because I sure haven't. And I think that goes a bit beyond a "signal".

Yup, alot of times. Out of the blue the girl starts smalltalking with me and then it gets to the point when she asks when I'm free. Sometimes takes her more than one try, comes back another time. Usually happens at parties, clubs, malls and happened somewhat at my old retail job. Outta retail thank god, that job was hell.

It's never happened to you? I thought it was normal...

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by splur

Yup, alot of times. Out of the blue the girl starts smalltalking with me and then it gets to the point when she asks when I'm free. Sometimes takes her more than one try, comes back another time. Usually happens at parties, clubs, malls and happened somewhat at my old retail job. Outta retail thank god, that job was hell.

It's never happened to you? I thought it was normal...

I've never met a pro-active girl like that, no. Even girls that obviously liked me never went so far as to directly ask me out, I have always had to be the one to make the first step. Maybe it's just the kind of girls I attract.

Out of curiosity, gaming, any news on this shop girl?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by surasshu

I've never met a pro-active girl like that, no. Even girls that obviously liked me never went so far as to directly ask me out, I have always had to be the one to make the first step. Maybe it's just the kind of girls I attract.

Out of curiosity, gaming, any news on this shop girl?

I went there today. First I found a table outside the shop to sit a little bit and relax. Then suddenly she walked pass me and said hi (she was throwing some cardboards away). I said hi back.
I could have chosen the direct way by asking her to stop and talk for a little bit, but somehow I chose the chicken way.
When she was out of sight, I went inside the store and gave another employee something I had taken from my work. It's a box with a metallic coffee cup inside.
Before I finished work today, I had written a note inside the box asking if she wants to have a cup of coffee someday. I ended it with my name and number.


I hope she calls...

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by gaming

It's a box with a metallic coffee cup inside.
Before I finished work today, I had written a note inside the box asking if she wants to have a cup of coffee someday.

edit* Wait, I thought that through. Good luck man.

Originally Posted by surasshu

I've never met a pro-active girl like that, no. Even girls that obviously liked me never went so far as to directly ask me out, I have always had to be the one to make the first step. Maybe it's just the kind of girls I attract.

You out of school or in university? It didn't really start happening until I got out of highschool. Girls were shy back then lol. I had to make the moves as well.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by splur

You out of school or in university? It didn't really start happening until I got out of highschool. Girls were shy back then lol. I had to make the moves as well.

Hmm, you may be right, I'm just out of university now (that is: I heard I finished it this morning). I'm not looking anyway, though, since I'm quite content with my current relationship. It's just never happened to me that a girl made the first move (or even most of the other moves), and I do still believe that it's exceptional, even if you've experienced it often.

Good luck gaming, her saying "hi" is actually kind of a good sign since at least she remembers you. Considering how many people go to a clothes store every day, at least you made some impression. Your way of asking her out is at least cute, too. Did I understand correctly that you gave it to an employee to give it to her? I hope for your sake that they do so...

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I suppose this should be moved to Angst sometime soon. Somehow gaming's threads end up in Angst because he follows through with our advice in real time. Its interesting to have users follow up on their love adventures.

Hopefully you'll keep us updated this time too ^_^

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Good luck gaming, and heck think about it this way, if she rejects you...meh. You'll probably never see her or recognize her later. Just shop at the same place if you like it, if you see her smile and continue shopping. No stalking =(

I was speaking idiomatically.

She hasn't called yet... Maybe she's not sure what to do?
Should I wait a few days or go back tomorrow and ask her out directly?

Something inside of me is telling me I should wait and then head back.
I would be a happy man just having her as a friend. Seriously, everytime I see her, it's like she brightens up the room, sending out invisible rays of happiness.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Good luck man! Keep us updated. I would like to see how this one plays out.

I would suggest to be patient, wait about 3 days, up to 5 days. Otherwise, go and see her and invite her to coffee or something. If she says yes, that will be your signal that she is at least interested (and single! )

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by gaming

Seriously, everytime I see her, it's like she brightens up the room, sending out invisible rays of happiness.

tell her that..... and when u walk away, shake ur ass a little. im jk
but really tell her that

How ya doing, buddy?

I don't know if this is good news or not.
Somebody called me around 8:11 PM anonymous (I was on my way home from work and had my cellphone on discreet)
Last time I checked, her store closes at 8. So it might be a slight chance that's her.

Jam it back in, in the dark.