Let's be friends (pre couple version)

So, I've been seeing this girl for a while now. Not very long, maybe a week or so. We've been having a good time together, cooking and doing some shopping etc., and I'm quite fine with the way things are right now.

The problem is that I noticed that she likes me a lot, and wants to go to the next level, but I think we're moving too fast, and it's best if we stay friends. The thing is, I'm quite lonely and vulnurable right now (had a bad break up a couple of months ago), and I certainly enjoy her company, but it just doesn't "click".

So, I did what I had to do and I talked to her about it. I said that I didn't know how I felt and that I thought we should take it a bit slower. I just want to be friends for the time being. So she starts crying on me, of course. She said things like "if you hate me, just say so". And I don't HATE her god damn it, I like her a lot. That's the problem. I just don't want to start using her because I'm lonely and end up hurting her even more in the end.

I have a feeling she's gonna start avoiding me from now on...

Anyone else been through anything similar? Share your experience and give pointers as to what one should do in these situations.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

wasn't that a bit to harsh tho lolz. you've could of atleast asked her if she could respect u may need space. like some days u want to be alone to thing about how u feel.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by tylermoore

wasn't that a bit to harsh tho lolz. you've could of atleast asked her if she could respect u may need space. like some days u want to be alone to thing about how u feel.

Harsh? How the hell was he harsh? He was incredibly tactful and decent considering the circumstances. You really are a simple little boy, aren't you?

This guy handled the situation properly. He wasn't ready for a relationship, so he told the girl. He didn't lead her on, he said how he felt. Kudos.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by tylermoore

wasn't that a bit to harsh tho lolz. you've could of atleast asked her if she could respect u may need space. like some days u want to be alone to thing about how u feel.

Uhhhhh......

I think he did. That's what you do when you speak to someone. You let them know how you feel, and he did the right thing.

Sword Familiar, you're doing the right thing. Going into a relationship only two months after a break-up could be the worst thing you do. You admitted you're vulnerable, and if you didn't like the girl, you wouldn't take the time to spare her any possible hurt in the future.

Unfortunately, "you hate me, don't you," is a common response from young women (even a few older ones), when they think their affection for someone isn't being returned.

I hope it works out.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The "Lets be Friends" sucks, because its nothing which binds you to that person.

Its more of an opportunity to see if it works. If it doesnt, you shouldnt try

harder or anything else. Better forget it then.

I've been in such situations alot. And trust me my friend,

"pre-coupling" sucks

Deleb

How ya doing, buddy?

I'm no pro at this but I think its a good idea if you told her this;

Originally Posted by Sword Familiar

And I don't HATE her god damn it, I like her a lot. That's the problem. I just don't want to start using her because I'm lonely and end up hurting her even more in the end.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

If she doesn't understand what you are trying to say then obviously she would have a hard time being with you in the first place.

Just be patient with her. If she continues to have difficulty, then continue to talk to her about it. Maybe over time, as you get over previous events, you two can move on to something bigger. But from what I can see, she is being a little selfish. Patience is a virtue, and she should use it right now.

FELIPE NO

Thanks guys. From reading your posts and doing some thinking for myself, I'm slowly beginning to realise that I did the right thing. I haven't met her since I told her, but then again it'll probably feel akward knowing that she likes me that much and I can't return those feelings for her. Of course, it's all up to her, really. Knowing that she feels that way makes me happy, but I have to follow my own feelings in this matter. I just hope that she will eventually accept me as just a friend.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?