How much importance do you give to physical appearance?

Some people say that beauty is on the inside, (actually, that's impossible to know, unless you're a surgeon ).

So, what's your view?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

First impressions are very important when meeting new people, or even just being in their pressence, and part of first impressions is physical appearance. This is unnavoidable, when you see a person and they're dressed very slopy, really dirty, and have a somewhat unapealing and unnatractive body your mind is going to innitially give a person negative pionts right off the bat.

The "inner beauty" people talk about can only be found after dealing with a person verbaly and some of this beauty can only be found after some time, so unfortunately this makes physical appearance part of the whole equation.

Someone who can say that physical appearance can be looked over 100% of the time when dealing with other people is more than likely blind or partially brain dead. Even if you don't like it you can't erase this part of your judgement for everyone all the time.

So yes, A clean and attractive appearance at first is very important, in the long run it means very little.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I place a fair amount on physical appearances. They're indicative of the sort of person someone most likely is. They also demonstrate a person's level of confidence, hygeine and temperament. Meek people do not have multiple piercings over their brows, and careful, tidy people do not wear t-shirts with holes in the bases.

More importantly, you can tell how much someone cares for themselves by their relative size. Me, I have little tolerance for fat people. My definition of "fat" is flexible though, since I acknowledge that medical conditions and genetic predispositions make it difficult for some people to obtain slimness. I feel a person can be heavy without being "fat". It's those massive tubs of lard who have to use motor scooters in the grocery store so they can buy their Pringles and M&Ms, they're the ones I loathe.

By this same token, girls who are deathly thin may have self-esteem issues. That's just as dangerous to one's health. Honestly, I'd prefer that my girlfriend had a bit of fat on her so that she doesn't tire so easily and so that unforeseen illnesses don't critically debilitate her.

But if a woman were to ask me out, and she was morbidly obese through no other condition than her own self-disregard, then I'd clearly reject her advances, no matter how nice her personality might be. I can be friends with fat people, and am, but I am simply not attracted to obesity. For me, love is as physical as it is mental and emotional.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Of course I pay attention to physical appearances; I would be lying if I said I did not outright reject dates because of it. Most of the time I would look more for the overall appearance of the person rather than focus on one aspect. Mostly the face, then height and weight. If a guy is not tall enough for my liking (I especially cannot date someone who is shorter than me or even my same height), then I don't think I can get over that fact. Same with obese people. I do have a few standards, and I usually use myself as a base, such as I personally take care of myself, so I expect the same from the other person (clean clothes, clean shaven, etc).

There has been some cases where I would be friends with a person in the beginning then grow to have stronger feelings. Those are normal as well, and that's when my physical appearance standards start to change (like noticing other features) because I already know that person has an overall nice disposition, enough for me to remain good friends for that length of time.

We're all a little shallow inside I suppose.

How ya doing, buddy?

Regretfully, I place lots of emphasis on physical appearance whenever I meet someone

If I think a person looks geeky or nerdy, then I take that as a warning light. Although, of course I would actually wait until we have a chance to socialize to make a judgement. If the person is as weird as the image I have already formed my head, then I already have a dislike. If they are not like what I pictured, then my emphasis on physical appearance is shattered.

If I think a person looks hot, then I assume I'd have no chance at being able to speak with them. I won't pursue socializing with them unless they actively start up the conversation, and I know that I won't be shunned.

If the other person is disabled in some way, then I instantly form a pity preconception and I'm unsure if that comes out in my actions or mannerisms when conversing with them.

Considering that, I always try not to look ugly in the other person's eyes, lest they think the same way that I do.

Although, I always try to be nice, regardless of how a person looks and keep my true thoughts about how nice they look in my own mind.

How ya doing, buddy?

Well as far as first impressions go (ie. you have never met the person before in your life) I value appearance a LOT, I know that's kinda shallow but it definetly helps to be attracted to said person. But let's say you at first didn't find them attractive but through sitting next to them or getting to know them because your friends are her friends and you find out that they are actually really cool, then appreance wouldn't matter as much to me.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

more than i'd like...

i blame it on my ex. he was very cute, and i really loved him... so now i'm afraid i won't be satisfied with anyone less cute or less smart or less understanding...

gonna be hard to find.

FELIPE NO

When I watched that one show where the woman had to pick a date based on personality alone and everyone wore a mask, I remember thinking that her statement of "looks don't matter to me" was a load of bull. I don't think that looks should be the main factor to deciding whether or not to date a person, but they are important.

I don't have much of a weight limit--except morbidly obease--because I've had crushes/dated guys that went from being rail thin to fairly chubby (the heavier ones seem to turn me away). Each body type has plus' and minuses. Facial appearances are more important since they sometimes reflect what a person is like more than their weight.

It's not just for men either. When I make friends, I tend to stay away from the girls that look as though they would cry over a split-end. I know when my boss was hiring new people, one of the first things I did was search Facebook to see what they looked like. I know it's a little shallow, but it helps me to recognize them in order to use what I find most important: auras and personality.

It doesn't matter if they're covered in piercings and tattoos, if I look at a person and I feel that I should talk to them--even if I've never met them before--then I will. I know auras are a load of bull, but I don't of another word that would be used and "instinct" and "impression" don't seem to cover it. Also, as many of you have said, if they have a great personality then the importance of looks is drastically reduced, but sadly not elimanated.

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In myself, I'm not obsessed with my outward appearance. I do try to keep things neat and with an impression of intent. Even if I just wake up and throw something on, it doesn't necessarily appear that way. I keep my collared shirts and slacks ironed and wrinkle-free. I wear solid dark colors, or printed Ts with subdued patterns and designs. I stay clean shaven and keep my neck-line well trimmed (I cut my own hair very short) and keep nose and the uni-brow under control. I also keep the cash and prizes trimmed nice and short--looks and feels better that way, in my opinion.

In a partner, I put limited value on outward appearance. Okay, the obvious ones I do care about; if you don't bath and you stink, I won't be close to you and if you're unwashed and greasy I'm not really going to want to touch you. I don't care all that much about makeup, tanning, or plucking. If you do take the effort to get dressed up, I'll compliment you without warning or hesitation--I recognize that you put in the energy to look nice for me. I'm not looking for a 'trophy girl', and think its pretty stupid to do so. I've dated girls that are heavier than me (I weigh 146 naked), and still found them very physically attractive. I don't like toothpicks, and weight on the extreme end concerns me as unhealthy. Even so, physical attraction is only a small piece of the whole pie. Psychological attraction amplifies other attractive feelings so much so that the experience can hardly be called the same.

As for friends, just don't be a poser. I can't stand people who put on an image that is obviously not a representation of them. Be yourself, and that's it.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I'd have to say that I value physical appearance a lot more than I once thought I did.
In others and myself. I know I'm not the best looking person, but if someone who is rather unattractive comes to me and tries to start a conversation, I probably won't want to talk with her. I'm so bad. I admit it.

Unless she does something that I think is awesome or makes me laugh(or I think her name is awesome), I'll go straight to her and say, "that was awesome" and then she'll probably think I'm weird and try to get away from me! Or the opposite, and we become good friends.


I'm a weirdo.

In the end though, it's the personality. I bring forth a quote!
"never judge a book by its cover."

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I believe I place a significant amount of emphasis on physical appearance as well as dialogue. Appearance is typically a given, like all the examples above if they look rather...messy...I do not percieve them as highly as per say someone who bathes often. Likewise, I believe style of dress also influences my perspective on individual (regarding first impressions that is). Hence I always had a fancy of "shocking" my peers (that known me for quite some time) by dressing in a style that they couldn't percieve me with. Personality is ideal, but that only happens if I known them for sometime.

Likewise I also place emphasis on speech...simply...if you sound like an idiot, I wouldn't like you at all and probably percieve you to be an idiot as well. Somewhat superficial but I percieve it to be important.

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Physical appearance plays a large role for me in choosing who to date. It's not paramount however. I'm able to appreciate a funny, thoughtful person who looks... unfortunate. But I could never be around anyone who had an annoying personality. Though this all depends on what kind of relationship I plan to engage in. Long lasting, one night stand, a week, it all requires something different, a different combination of beauty and brains.

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Almost everyone who's posted already admitted towards having certain predispositions in physicality. I'm no different either. I doubt anyone can really escape from this phenomena considering our first impressions already lead us to critical stereotyping and subsequent "approaches" to the said person we are judging.

In terms of self-esteem, I would say that physical appearance matters to most people. You'd definitely find that a beautiful person is much more socially active than one whose face is covered with acne. And even if the acne covered person may subjectively adapt to their appearance you'd find that they're still trying to uplift their image by labelling the "beautiful" perrson as a jock or socialite who are actually dumb without really getting to know that person.

Even said retrosexuals whom exhibit less concern for their appearances wouldn't exactly complain if everyone took a better liking to their appearance.

I was speaking idiomatically.

The biggest qualm I have in general is simply hygiene. Do you look clean? Do you smell clean? Are you clean? For me, that's important because it demonstrates how much a person cares about themselves. If they can't even manage to wash their hair or brush their teeth (I'm talking on a daily basis), then what kind of personality would they possibly have? That's just the bottom line for me, anything else is just excess in terms of friendship. I don't have a over exhausting criteria on how attractive (or un-attractive) friends are, in that care it's more important that you guys click as human beings and get along rather than if I want to get into your pants.

If you're talking about physical attractiveness in the opposite sex, then it's important but I don't consider as important as how attractive you are on the inside. But what one person finds physically attractive is highly subjective and I think most people would be surprised on what I deem "attractive". Yet still, I'd rather have an average looking guy with a great personality rather than a gorgeous man with the disposition of a plank. It is cliche but I really believe it's true, because while I don't want a person that disgusts me, someone can really be very very attractive overall if they have the right charm and charisma, it's not simply physical.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by blue

more than i'd like...

i blame it on my ex. he was very cute, and i really loved him... so now i'm afraid i won't be satisfied with anyone less cute or less smart or less understanding...

gonna be hard to find.

I'm in the same boat. My ex was a 10... now I've gotta find an 11 cause I've always gotta do better than what I had. It'd be like getting a used honda civic after you've been driving around a BMW... you can only graduate to a Porsche or a Ferrari afterwards.

Physical appearance is important because you can't have sex with a personality. I don't care how intelligent a girl is while we're at it in the sack.

"Oh baby, you're so intelligent! Your IQ is going to make me come!"

In addition, physical appearance can reveal a good deal about a person. Have you ever just glanced at somebody and been able to sum up their life story? People know that appearances matter, and most of them dress accordingly. If they want you to think that they're a nerd, or a lazy ass, or a jock, or a prep, or an emo bitch, they'll let you know by putting on the appropriate costume.

I like natural blondes with blue or green eyes. This is important because at some point I'd like to have kids, and I'd like them to resemble me. Chances are that if I marry a blonde girl, I'll have some redhead kids which will be awesome. I prefer them to be between 5'2" and 5'7" and anywhere from 105-120lbs (respectively), with a pretty face, great legs, and good teeth. I don't think it's too much to ask.

People who act like physical appearance doens't matter much are full of it and are just trying to justify their own unattractiveness.

FELIPE NO

People say I don't look bad but personally I think I have almost nothing in the looks department.

Date/partner wise I want them to look decent or pretty at least, otherwise with general people I prefer them being clean rather than having nice physiques.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Sum up my life story.

(this is in no way intended to be serious--just a silly joke)

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by MetheGelfling

People who act like physical appearance doens't matter much are full of it and are just trying to justify their own unattractiveness.

Oof, bold words. Looks definitely do matter, but I'm certain it varies from person to person.

Along with you and blue, I have a similar dating experience. However, I found after dating a "hot" girl, I settled for something completely different with my new girlfriend. Maybe its just me, I focused so much more on personality and compatability. But that could just be becuase my ex-girlfriend was kinda a bitch...

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Well, if one were to look at all the disparate peoples in my life that were very close to me, I think it'd be hard to say that I didn't get along with all kinds of people, physically speaking. I guess that means that I don't go after people who are beautiful-looking *because* they are beautiful-looking, though that may simply be because I've convinced myself that the drop-dead gorgeous people would never want to be caught dead with me, so I choose to stay away from them from the start.

But anyway... I think the phrase means that what people look like has absolutely no bearing on what they act like, or at the very least, what people look like doesn't cause them to act a certain way. It's the other way around, actually... the way people are changes what they look like. It's fair to make judgements on people based on what they look like to a degree, but it's never fair to completely fall in love with someone or write them off based solely on what they look like.

I would have missed out on quite a lot of good friendships if I had done things that way. Right now, I've got a friend who could very easily have been the stereotypical rich kid's son (and would therefore be someone that I wouldn't want to spend much time with) but he goes against that mold in so many different ways that I almost couldn't believe that he was what he said he was until I met his father. Beyond that, we spend a ton of time together and have gotten very close, and I would have completely missed out on that if I had accepted what he looked like to be what he was.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

As long as the person doesn't have greasy hair, I'm willing to talk to them. Any girl that's wearing skanky clothing (super-short skirts and shirts that don't cover anything) is automatically going to be a skank in my eyes, but I'll still talk to them and be polite if they talk to me first. Honestly, as long as the person doesn't give off the "I'm a jerk" vibe, I'll be nice and polite to them, regardless of the type of clothing they have on or how big or small they are.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by ElectricSheep

Sum up my life story.

I have a few scenarios in my head, but none of them end up with vaginal penetration.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Crash Landon

Meek people do not have multiple piercings over their brows, and careful, tidy people do not wear t-shirts with holes in the bases.

More importantly, you can tell how much someone cares for themselves by their relative size.

Wow Crash, with as many stereotypes as you hold near and dear to your heart it's a wonder you'd ever need to talk to anybody in order to get to know them.

I place maybe 1/4 of the relationship on looks. And 3/4ths on personality. This means that I can date someone that's "average" whatever that may mean, as long as they have a personality I'm really attracted too. I'm more picky with personalities than I am with looks. My last relationship actually ended because even though she was hot, I just couldn't take the mindnumbing conversation.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Well the longer you know someone the less important is the physical appearance. Anyways i would never start a relationship with a really fat girl.

FELIPE NO

That's fucking bullshit. This entire "the truth lies within" or "beauty is on the inside" thing is fucking retarded. Of course everyone is giving a lot of importance to physical appearance and everyone who denies that is a freaking liar. I mean, of course I could marry some girl that has an IQ of 200 but a weights twice as much, but if you walk with her on the street, nobody will ask whether she's intelligent or "beautiful inside" or whatever. As well as I don't think it's hip to only look after girls that literally look like a stick (I am talking about 100lbs and less).

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Just because you are shallow doesn't mean that everyone else around you is. I guess you're special like that.

Jam it back in, in the dark.