Merged Book Titles
 

So I was stumbling through a bunch of terrible sites earlier when one caught my eye. It was an article about a Washington Post contest in which readers were invited to send in their best "merged book title" ideas, along with a bit of a synopsis to serve as explanation.

Now, you're probably confused as to what I mean by any of this. Understandable. Here are a few choice examples:

• Machiavelli's The Little Prince
  Antoine de Saint-Exupery's classic children's tale as presented by Machiavelli. The whimsy of human nature is embodied in many delightful and intriguing characters, all of whom are executed.
  
• Green Eggs and Hamlet
  Would you kill him in his bed? Thrust a dagger through his head? I would not, could not, kill the King. I could not do that evil thing. I would not wed this girl, you see. Now get her to a nunnery.
  
• Where's Walden?
  Alas, the challenge of locating Henry David Thoreau in each richly-detailed drawing loses its appeal when it quickly becomes clear that he is always in the woods.
  
• Catch-22 in the Rye
  Holden learns that if you're insane, you'll probably flunk out of prep school, but if you're flunking out of prep school, you're probably not insane.

I hope that made things a bit more clear. If not, you really have no right submitting one, anyway. But for those of you who do get it, please, submit your own. This could be interesting if people actually put a wee bit of effort into it. It's a long shot, I know, but here goes nothing.

Enjoy.

I wish I was clever enough to do this.

Ender's Game of Thrones. An eight-year old is kidnapped and forced to become the king's military advisor and eventually....
...
(Diss This Post).

Canterbury Tales from the Crypt

The collective story of myriad journeymen and their slow, tortuous descent into madness as each is unable to reconcile the horrors strewn along his travels. Cannibalistic hijinx ensue!

Brave New War of the Worlds

Residents of a futuristic society must grapple with the sociological implications of what is considered "normal" versus "taboo," only to eventually have their heads blown off by ruthless aliens.

If You Give A Mouse Some Flowers

A retarded man toils earnestly to meet the requests of an increasingly demanding and manipulative mouse whose intellect has been augmented by experimental drugs, until the retarded man's only wish is for the mouse to die.

Down and Out in Paris and Wonderland

George Orwell relates his experiences living amongst the desperately poor of Paris. Half way through the backdrop shifts to a fantasy land of talking rabbits and grinning cats. But this does nothing to improve Orwell's lot and he finds himself at the bottom of the Wonderland social order, working 70 hours as a plongeur washing up after tea-party after tea party.

Oh my, that Walden one was very good.


Animal Farmer's Almanac

A prescient fable in which the moment man looks into the abyss is forecast two years in advance.


Girl With The Pearl

The tale follows the young Mexican beauty Griet on the cusp of womanhood as she finds herself seduced by the lean, local diving champ Kino Vermeer -- a salty Gulf romance pillowed by the apt metaphor of the undersea, and hard-to-reach, polished prize. You'll wet your lips in anticipation. And then you'll wet them again.


Of Maus and Men

Leni, a retarded Jew, miraculously escapes the Nazi slaughter by forgetting to remove a cat mask from a church play, only to die after falling on sharpened wit.

IT Takes A Village

One woman's treatise on how to effectively acknowledge a child's insights and concerns about the ever-present threat of a murderous clown.

A Better World for our Children of the Corn

Dr. Spock writes on the importance of establishing a solid familial foundation through veneration and obedience to He Who Walks Behind the Rows.

The Satanic Versus O.J. Simpson

One of the most controversial book in recent history. Now with ban lifted.