All In The Same Boat (GFF D&D Adventure 4)
 

The Horde hurries to hire aboard the Rosy Dawn, and the merchant ship is happy to have them. Freeport's various taverns, gambling dens and brothels have taken a heavy toll on Captain Catos' crew, and he's already decided to cancel the next shore leave to forestall any further desertions. While only Soggy can attest to any real experience in nautical matters, Catos is in no position to be picky.

The ship heaves anchor early the next morning, bound for Veltalar with a hull full of dried beans, jaunty hats, and Cormyrian Purple Dragon Ale. The trip is largely uneventful aside from Bob's frequent dashes to expel the results of his seasickness over the side. Soggy and Garrmondo do what they can to make themselves useful in the day-to-day operations of the ship, staving off boredom if nothing else. Delic wanders the boat aimlessly, pestering the crew with exaggerated tales of his derring-do, and Gabe spends the better part of each day staring off into the horizon — waiting, it would seem, for some sign to come.

Still, it's not such a long trip and with Bob pouring bait into the water at such regular intervals it's not hard to pull up plenty of fish.

Soon the Rosy Dawn is only a day or two away from Veltalar, and the only real obstacle ahead is the Fang; a tiny island surrounded by reefs and jagged rocks that have killed more sailors than all the kuo-toa and sahuagin in the Sea of Fallen Stars put together. Still, no professional sailor truly feared the Fang these days; the simbarchs of Aglarond long ago constructed the Fang Light, a massive glowing crystal installed in the Fang's only lighthouse. With the Fang Light in place, it was easy enough to navigate the reefs — not to say there still wasn't the occasional fatality. Even the most experienced skippers sometime drank a bit more than they ought.

Dusk is falling, and the Rosy Dawn has struck sails to proceed slowly and carefully around the Fang. Suddenly, a shout rings out from the crow's nest.

"Ship to port! Ship to port! Pirates!"

Catos frowns, pulling the ship's wheel hard to the left, but it's too late. The pirate cutter is bearing down too fast, pushed along by a sudden wind. There's no time to escape.

"PREPARE TO REPEL BOARDERS!" Catos shouts, and the old dwarf's eyes light up with a fierce excitement he'd probably deny knowing anything about.

The pirate ship looms ever closer, and a bright flash of magic erupts atop the Rosy Dawn's crow's nest. A laughing woman in mage's garb steps through a portal, kicking the lookout out of the crow's nest before he can react. The sailor falls to the deck with a sickening crunch. Eight more pirates follow behind the mage before her portal closes, shouting war cries as they rappel down the rigging. The mage remains atop the mast, raining magic on the ship's unready crew. Dozens more pirates laugh and taunt from the other boat, throwing grappling hooks and biding their time as the ropes slowly drag the two ships closer together. The boarding action has to be cut short before the numbers are too great to deal with!

"Sorry, boys", the mage shouts from her lofty perch, "but the shipping lanes are closed!"

:savepoint: Motsognir, Gabriel, Pirate Scallywags, Bob, Delic, Sea Dogs, Garrmondo, Pirate Mage

Defenses:
2 Scallywags AC 19; Fortitude 17, Reflex 16, Will 15
6 Sea Dogs AC 18; Fortitude 16, Reflex 14, Will 14
1 Mage AC 17; Fortitude 13, Reflex 14, Will 15

Motsognir backs away from the pirates, shooting a fireball into their midst. "Hats and beans! All for hats and beans!" he laments.

"Gabe, Garrmondo, cut those fucking ropes!"

Move to V29
Scorching Burst to Z23

6 damage to the ugly bastard at AA23

fuck these dice

It didn't take long for the dwarf to be wakened from his reverie. Kord cried out for the clash of steel and fang, and this would do nicely, indeed. His feet propelled him without thought towards the guard rail of the ship. His eyes alight with the desire to punish those daring to take their ship, thinking it easy pickings. As he nears the ropes, he flips something from his belt, a black mastiff suddenly spawning into view and rending the ropes. Taking a deep breath, he summons the pent up rage from this past adventure and rears back with his axe, hewing roughly into another rope.

Move to S25.
Standard to summon dog to S26.
Free to give it healing surge HP.
Minor to make it attack the rope at R26
Burn AP
Bolstering Strike on rope at R25.

"Take THAT, Cannon restraint rope!"

Soggy quickly busts out the little bit of magic he'd picked up from spending a distressing amount of time staring at Bob, and the payoff is immediate. The ragged sea dog bursts into flames, and, screaming, runs across the deck and dives into the water.

The shark-infested, reef-strewn water full of sharp rocks.

So long, Minion #000073A. We hardly knew ye.

Minion at AA23 killed, two ropes cut. Yeah no need for an attack roll against an inanimate rope

"You idiots!", the mage screams. "They're cutting the ropes! That's the exact thing I told you to make them not do!"

The two scallywags charge the starboard side, intent on protecting the ropes. They lunge for Gabe and his faithful hound with their halberds, but the Paladin nimbly steps aside. Goliath, unfortunately, is not quite so nimble.

16 damage to Goliath; prone & bloodied

:savepoint: Bob, Delic, Sea Dogs, Garrmondo, Pirate Mage, Motsognir, Gabriel, Pirate Scallywags

The boat trip had not turned out quite as enjoyable as I had imagined. Whilst the excitement of being aboard ship, making sail on a voyage of discovery to lands unknown was almost more than I could bear, the seas had been ferocious the whole time and our little boat was pitched up and down mountainous waves, causing me to be quite sick. I resolved that next time we went off in search of adventure, we should do it in a forest.

I was also quite surprised at how rough looking all the other sailors on ship were. I had expected smart uniforms, crisp bell bottoms and not a single body hair between the lot of them but these fellows wore tatty rags for the most part and I had not seen so many beards in one place since that unfortunate trip to a men only sauna in the curious kingdom of Canadia.

Our cruise was interupted however by the sight of another ship on an intercept course for us, flying the unmistakeable colours of a pirate! At least I assumed that's what the colours meant as the crew became suddenly agitated and armed themselves. Suddenly, boarding ropes were tossed across and a cocky looking mage opened a portal to the top of the mast, making me doubly jealous as I wished I knew cool tricks like that and the fierce seas had precluded me climbing up their myself for a look.

The deck was suddenly swarming with pirates and I'll admit that the thought crossed my mind that we should simply defect and join their crew but I had heard unpleasant rumours of the initiation rites to join a pirate crew and figured they'd be more receptive to volunteers once we thinned out their ranks a bit.

With a wave of my staff, I conjured forth a torrent of flame, immolating two of the pirates in an instant. Well, they could have been immolated, I was a bit busy moving to a more tactically sound, rearguard position to check.

Scorching burst at W23, move to V33

Leaning on his bastard sword, Delic watches with a quiet amusement as the pirates storm the ship, declaring their intent. "Oh ho, what devilry is this? Avast, you salty dogs! Were it not for the likes of cutting down your kind, my soul would surely wander cheerlessly throughout eternity!"

Move to X25
Attack With Bastard Sword

Bob's fireburst errs too close to some dried bean barrels left on the decks, and the superheated beans explode out onto the nearby sea dogs, covering them both in thousands of tiny welts. Scrambling to escape, the pirates slip on the beans scattered underfoot and crash to the deck — where they're either knocked unconscious or perform a very convincing imitation.

Killed the hell out of those guys
Anyone moving through the bean area (circled) may slide or fall

Delic boldly strides forth, jabbing his mighty blade at —

What ho, that one's already given up!

Delic strides somewhere else, slashing at someone who is still a plausible combatant! The grimy cur is skewered on the blade, writhing in agony as Delic perforates his kidneys.

That will teach him to pursue a life of base villainy!

Didn't explain minions to you either; my fault
Killed that guy also. Minions: making combat less grindy since 2008

The two surviving Sea Dogs pile on Gabriel, trying to stop him from cutting any more ropes (and his little dog, too). Their crude wooden cudgels fail to even attract his attention, splintering harmessly against his armor.

:savepoint: Garrmondo, Pirate Mage, Motsognir, Gabriel, Pirate Scallywags, Bob, Delic, Sea Dogs

Aw yeah, take that you fuckin' rope. Comin' around here bein' all ropey. You get what you deserve.

The pirate mage leans out of the crow's nest, tossing bolts of electricity at the skirmish below.

8 damage to Garrmondo + Gabriel

The hooting ruffians on the enemy ship toss 2 more ropes over, and the cords drag the ships a little closer together.

:savepoint: Motsognir, Gabriel, Pirate Scallywags, Bob, Delic, Sea Dogs, Garrmondo, Pirate Mage

The dwarf ran to the cannon on his right. Ol' Soggy would show these scum a thing or two about fighting at sea. "You're not pirates! I'm a goddam pirate!" He waved his fist in the air menacingly, growling as the fuse burned down.

move to S31 (or whatever square is appropriate for cannon loading)
load cannon
fire cannon at pirate bastards

The dwarf growled as the bolts fizzeled along his beard, suddenly making it poof out comically like an angry cat. Flailing his axe haphazardly at what he assumed was there, (miss on valiant strike) the axe whizzed harmlessly short of the bastard. As the dwarf struggled to smooth down his beard while cursing angrily at the "damnable static electricity mage" his dog lunged in hungrily to attempt to do what his master couldn't. (Doggie shift to T25, miss) Instead he did exactly what his master could do, which is miss terribly and then look like a fool.

In years to come, Gabriel and Goliath would look back on this roughly six seconds of existence as their greatest shared shame. They would not speak of it again.

The iron ball crashes into the deck of the pirate ship, tearing a ragged hole through the hull. Alerted by Soggy's furious ranting, most of the pirate crew flees out of the way — but not all.

4 Sea Dogs killed; 27 damage to pirate ship

"They're shooting up my ride!" screams the mage. "Feed 'em to the sharks!"

The scallywags attempt to knock Gabe to the deck, getting him out of the way so they can stop Soggy from loading the cannon again. Their halberds just bounce off his platemail with a clang.

:savepoint: Bob, Delic, Sea Dogs, Garrmondo, Pirate Mage, Motsognir, Gabriel, Pirate Scallywags

I launched another fireball into the midst of the pirates, saving my more impressive spells for the inevitable second wave.

scorching burst at u25

"Oh ho ho ho! My quarry is free of obstacles! To haste! I shall slay him... er, her... IT!"

Move to Y21
Attack with Footwork Lure

Sea Dog at T24 killed
9 damage to Scallywag at U25

Delic strides boldly over to his enemy and attacks it most viciously.

Sadly, his enemy appears to be the Rosy Dawn's mainmast, which makes no attempt to defend itself.

9 damage to the mast. Do you know what the mast is? It is what the enemy is on top of! 60 feet above you. Yup.

The last of the sea dogs in the initial boarding party makes another attempt to batter Gabe with his makeshift club, noticing the paladin's sudden descent into incompetence. The club bounces off Gabe's head with a satisfying clonk.

4 damage to Gabe

:savepoint: Garrmondo, Pirate Mage, Motsognir, Gabriel, Pirate Scallywags, Bob, Delic, Sea Dogs

The dwarf growled low in his throat as the club connected with his skull. He turned around and rubbed his head in annoyance before he open hand slapped the offending party and glowered. Then, remembering he was actually here to kill him, instead of get in a slap fight, which is all they'd done to him so far, he decided to hit him with an axe. (Standard. Bolstering Strike to SEA DOG. Hit. 11 dmg.)

Deciding he'd made his point concerning the axe vs slapfight debate, Gabe decided to let his dog also answer the call once again. Maybe they could have a round of shared non-shame. (MINORGoliath shifts to T25 and MINOR attacks ScallyWaggle). But no, he fails miserably. Snap snap at air. 10 damage to air maybe.

Should have got a goddamned cat.

Motsognir moved to the other cannon, loading it before the pirates across the way could figure out he had switched targets. Mounting the cannon like a horse to keep from tumbling away as he fumbled with the flint, he glanced back at his lady, winking grandiosely.

move to other cannon
load cannon
shoot that cannon

Garrmondo cuts another rope. It's not especially rewarding work, but it beats being hit with clubs or trying to bring the mast down on your head.

"Haul those ropes a little faster, boys!" the mage shouts. "I didn't exactly bring my whole spellbook with me, you know?" She gestures, and the paladin and his dog are enveloped in a wave of concussive noise. Whimpering, Goliath promptly reverts back to statuette form.

Thunder Burst at S25: 11 damage to Goliath & Gabe; Gabe dazed, dog "killed", boats move a little closer together

Motsognir fires another round into the hull of the enemy craft. This time the crew is wise to him and stay out of range, but they can only ignore the ragged holes in their boat for so long. Besides, as long as they're kept away they won't be throwing any more ropes.

Bombardment: 30 damage to pirate craft

Gabriel offhandedly dispatches the last of the sea dogs, ordering his hound forth to... stupid hound, where did it go? Furthermore, why were his ears ringing?

With the paladin obviously dazed and confused, the scallywags rush past him to stop Motsognir's abuse of cannon technology. Stabbity-stab.

14 damage to Motsognir; prone, marked by Scallywag at U26

:savepoint: Bob, Delic, Garrmondo, Pirate Mage, Motsognir, Gabriel, Pirate Scallywags

The lads were doing a pretty good job thus far of wiping out the pirates although I was slightly concerned that the newest member of our entourage seemed to have decided that the best way to get the enemy mage down to deck level was to chop down the mast. If nothing else, his use of a sword to chop heavy lumber went against everything I had learned from my parents' logging business.

I peered up at the mage, shielding my eyes from the bright sunlight. She was certainly too far away for any of my spells to reach her and I wasn't convinced I'd be able to get her with an arrow from this distance either. Maybe I'd give it a go though, once the more immediate danger of the pirates on deck had been dealt with.

Seeing the two remaining assailants bunched together and moving to attack my resourceful dwarven chum, I blasted them with a fireball, hoping the ubiquitous tar covering most sailors' clothes would ignite and burn them to a crisp.

I considered shouting an amusing aside at the same time to cheer up my companions, something about "Things hotting up" or "Crashing and burning" but nothing really cutting sprang immediately to mind so I went with a simple cry of "FLAME ON", aware that this had previously been the command word for the defences built into my robes but figuring that had been so long ago now that nobody would remember.

The fireball exploded between them, causing some fairly nasty burns to each. Either shouting things made my magic work better or the pirates were wearing polyester, I feared I would never know for certain.

Scorching burst at U26.

Delic stares blankly at the mast, eyebrow arched.

"Witchery! How does a tree this large grow out of the ocean? And how does it have vines and no branches? By the accursed name of Fing Fang Foom, I smell black magic only the dankest pits of the blackest corners from the hells beneath Hell could brew! How do I slay one such as this?"

Paralyzed in the disruption of the faculties which demoralizes anyone who is confronted by an impossible negation of sanity, Delic shakes his head, "All of this is most unexpected! What shall I..."

And with a knowing, disarming smile, Delic grabs one of the cut ropes, brandishing his sword in his other hand, "And now to swing like an ape found on the Isle Of Jura!"

Move/Swing From Y21 to U22 (if this is not allowed, please let me know)
One-handed swing with broadsword to cut other ropes

Scorching Burst: 11 damage to both Scallywags

Enraged at the insolence of this abominable sea-tree in not dying, Delic swiftly begins to scale the mighty vines strewn all about it. He hacks away at the clinging vines about him, and the great tree seems to groan in pain. Take that, you unnatural thing!

Delic ascends 15 feet up the ropes, destroying many of them and weakening the stability of the mast. What is it with you guys and terrain deformation :(

"Whose side are you on, anyway? If you're going to wreck the gods-damned boat you may as well just let us have it!" The mage flings a magic missile at Delic through the ropes, but it bounces harmlessly off the rigging and into the water (ending the short but happy life of a passing sturgeon).

The ships draw ever closer; if the last two ropes aren't cut the pirates will soon be able to leap from their mast directly onto the Rosy Dawn's rigging!

:savepoint: Motsognir, Gabriel, Pirate Scallywags, Bob, Delic, Garrmondo, Pirate Mage

Motsognir stands up and fires the cannon again.

"YOU GUYS! SHIT! CUT THE FUCKING ROPES!"

Seeing the newcomer entangling himself was not encouraging. "NOT THOSE ROPES!"

"DELIC. HEY, DELIC. SEE THESE HEADBAND ASSHOLES? ATTACK THEM. IGNORE THE ROPES."

"SHIT."

stand up
load cannon
fire the cannon
look frustrated

The dwarf, dazed and reeling, still had enough good sense to listen to the other dwarf. His head in a fog, he managed to plant his helmet in the chest of the nearest enemy and create just enough separation to hurl his throwing axe at the last rope. He knew keeping that boat off them was more important than his own skin.

Throwing hammer on rope. Only action cause dazed. :(
Also, failed save vs daze. Dicks.