So I fall for my friend..
 

I know this is a very old situation, but it sucks so much I just have tell about it.

Basicly, in the last few years all my best friends have moved out of town and even though I keep in contact with them and see them a few times a year, my only really good friend who I hang out with is a girl. Unsurprisingly, I like her too much :(

I thought of her as a friend for a loong time, but recently I've been getting these what if-thoughts because we talk really deep things, hang out pretty much, have such a great time together and people constantly think we're dating.. even though we're not. She's said though that she'd never date me although we haven't never really had a discussion about it. She just considers me a really good friend and NOTHING more.

But because we're such good friends, she's recently started seeing some guy and unfortunately I'm getting too much information about how great he is and how much she likes her. I can't begin to explain how uncomfortable and depressing hearing it all is. :(

I'm now worried if I mention how much I like her and how I don't want to hear about the guy, I'll just ruin our friendship (which is the last thing I'd need as I don't really have any other friends as close). Do I just suffer through it and try to find someone else to date or what the heck do I do?

Either way, it's getting pretty depressing..

Get over her. It's not worth losing a friendship over. Ask anyone here: I know.

If you can find some chick to be your muse, more power to you, but the sooner you can get those thoughts of "what-if" out of your head the better, no matter what you have to do to do so.

Hah, welcome to my life pre-maturation... Believe me, nothing will come of it, and it's not worth losing the friendship over. Learn from my (many) mistakes.

Yeah, this isn't gonna happen.

Ok here's what you do. Go out some night (tonight might be good actually) and pick up the fucking hottest babe in town. Then give her a ride in your red convertible and stop by the first girl's house. Honk the horn until she comes out, then grab the babe and totally make out in front of her. The first girl will then finally realize how badass you are and will dump that other fag. Then she'll jump into your car and then you all will have a threesome right there, in the car. Keep in mind I've only tried this a few times, but I've had good results so far with this.

LZ does this work on exs too? I'd like to try this on mine even though we are not talking anymore.

To Sprout and Ultima: are you referring to female friends who've failed to reciprocate your desire for something more, or are speaking of bitter experiences you've had actually dating a friend?


You may never fully get over her, kikkeli, but you have to at least set aside your own selfish feelings here. She is happily dating someone else, and has explicitly informed you she has no intention of you and her ever dating. The answer is right there in your face: don't tell her and let it go. If you are truly her friend, you'll mean more to her in the end than the dude she is dating.

The latter. See my journal.

Ultima: In your particular case I suspect that your ex is now a lesbian (reasonable assumption). So it may be more difficult, but then again, you may end up in a foursome! Wow!

Took the words right out of my mouth.

In my experience, a friendship isn't worth gambling, especially since you say it's pretty deep. That may sound like the beginnings of something more but if she has expressed no interest in terms of a relationship there's not much point in you pursueing this. You will get over her. Believe me.

This is not true, as she loves sucking cock way too much for that to happen. While she may have a dyke haircut now, I know in my heart that her passion to get rammed is only getting stronger every second she's in college.

http://www.zeek.net/i/yoda.jpg

Yes! Yes, to sprouticus you listen!

The former, and it's happened twice to excessive disappointment. Check out my very first journal entry for the story there.

Sooooo I agree with the rest.. cept LZ, but I laughed at least. lol

Pretty much you have to see things as unselfishly as possible. If she was so close to you and goes to date someone else, she either a) doesn't think you like her [which .. doesn't seem to be the case] or b) has no interest.

The fact of the matter is, you should be happy she's happy, and support her decision. This is what defines actual love for someone. It's not easy to do, but I've had to do it, so I'm betting you can cross the threshold too.

Good luck, and remember your friendship is more valuable than anything else. Maybe she'll see how great you are from all of this, and maybe she won't. What really matters is she is happy, and that you're there to support her if it falls apart.

Just suck it up. I'm kind of in the same situation as you. I'm tired of my best friend dating all these weird guys, but I gotta suck it up and support her. Because the moment she breaks up with the crappy boyfriend she had, I'm gonna be the first person to help her through the situation.

As much as I wanna tell her I like her, I can't since it would just make things awkward between us and that's pretty much the last thing I want between us.

So just suck it up and be there for her. She'll (hopefully) appreciate it more that way that even through all her troubles, she'll still have a shoulder to cry on after it's all said and done.

You need to say something / do something before this rots your soul. Take it from someone who went unheard for 8 years - do it now before it gets out of hand. The longer you wait, the less your words mean to her and eventually she just won't take them seriously at all.

Thanks for the advice..

Yeah, this is really what it comes down to, I guess. Because I know there's no chance that she would consider me as anything more than a friend, there's really no reason to tell how I feel. But on the other hand, I feel like a lousy friend because I can't truly be happy for her.

I just don't get how the girl doesn't figure it out. She honestly thinks I'm not interested in her. Is she just naive and do all guys always want something more from a friendship if the girl meets their girlfriend criteria so to speak? :P

She probably has realized that you like her, but she doesn't want to bring it up because she doesn't like you back. I mean, can you imagine that conversation? "Hey, so, do you like me?" "Oh, uh, yeah." "Oh, well, I don't like you. Sorry." ":("

Honestly, if you guys are really good friends, she probably doesn't want to hurt your feelings by bringing it up.

That would make sense, but then again if she knew I liked her, she probably wouldn't talk about her boyfriend like she does now. She will probably figure out soon enough, as she's asked a few times why I haven't shown much interest in her new relationship.. I mean, it doesn't take a genius.

Or she keeps mentioning him to remind you that she's dating someone else.

I would ditch her as a friend, wait a month or so then look her up, get drunk together and pull her. Friends come and go and you'll inevitably drift apart now that she's got a new guy. She'll either spend more time with him which will upset you more or he'll think you're creepy for hanging round her all the time so you might as well expedite the process, jog her on and then re-approach the whole situation a bit down the line.

Seriously, never let some bullshit best-friends-forever-but-just-that crap get in the way of a shag, that's strictly for losers and emos.

This is real manly playa advice right here :tpg:

I'm sorry for your situation. I have no advice to give.

I don't want you to have any false hope, but sometimes, with patience, fun things
can come out of these kinds of situations.

I wish the best for you.

Now I have to go to this party with my friend and she's invited her boyfriend too, so I now get to meet him.

I hope he's at least a nice guy.. :p

That's honestly the best advice one can give in this situation. I have been there, and it really is better to just let her relationship run its course. I'm a bit further along in your situation, and have recently began talking to the girl again and things look to be going well.

Besides, if you end up never getting with her, at least you had a great night of drunken fun courtesy of Shin's advice ;)