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Faking It
So you're playing strip poker with your grandmama and your boyfriend Daryl. Neither of them know you're a transvestite and that you have a tattoo on your back that says "Back to the Future".
So is it worth it to fake it? Or do you lay all your cards out on the table and watch 'em walk away? |
Depends on how long I was in this roller coaster ride.
If this person has received all of my patience and all of my best care and they still can't deal, I walk away. |
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Being in a state of suspended emotions sucks, i say lay it all out, talk about it in all honesty, without getting too mushy. See where he/she stands, speak your mind but don't beg or throw yourself at them. Tell 'em you care but say it with dignity, if you don't come off as needy and clingy but as genuinely caring you're doing it right.
If it doesn't work out chances are it never would have and all you've done is spared yourself the time you would've spent faking disinterest for nothing. |
Don't act like it's a legitimate relationship. If they're shit scared of commitment, the last thing you want to do is to leap in there. Although you set it out in such black and white terms, a gradual development will probably be beneficial to both of you. Don't "play it cool", and don't scream it from the rooftops either. Let things develop.
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Combo of Frank and Bernard. State your feelings but be respectful of their boundaries. If things don't progress after a reasonable amount of time, cut your losses.
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It depends on how long you've been seeing the person. If it's short term, say a few weeks, give it some more time, play it cool and see what happens. If it has been pretty serious for a while, I'd say do not fake it. Besides, what's a real relationship where you can't be yourself and express how you truly feel? Being rejected sucks, yeah, but you're better off with someone who truly does want to get close to you too and reciprocates your love. The heart is too fragile to be played around with.
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With the way some relationships turn out, who's to say in the end a "fake" relationship will be any worse than a "real" one?
If you like being with the person, just be with them. If you don't like the terms of it all, then go home. Review your standards and minimum requirements. Just be wary that over time they may change. |
I'd say to employ confrontation when the grey area is at its peak. Or if that's bad just talk just when the relationship borders on serious.
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