marrying a lover
 

Does anyone ever marry a lover?

You know, someone who understands you. You don't have to say anything. When you are with them most times, everything seems to be understood. When you are with each other, the primary focus is about expressing your love to each other. As in, you go on a date to eat, walk around, go bowling, go with a group, but instead decide to skip the fun and go for the passion --go to the back seat and spend the hours mouths tied and bodies twisted.

It seems that the bond in most marriages emphasize the fun part of a relationship -- where you are constantly wanting to do activities (sports, gatherings, etc.... not just sex) together.

I don't really know what to make of it. In the book, Brave New World (Aldous Huxley), a relationship consists of playing trifulous sports (centrifugal bumblepuppy, the wierd mini golf) and going to movies (feelies) all of the time and then having sex to satisfy the physical desire.

Is Huxley making fun of the relationships that are almost all orientated that way or is this just a fact of life -- the passionate couple is/was never meant for a marriage?

Of course there is some healthy balance to this. I mean, a lover partner is not just 100% lover and nothing else (no communication or social life), but a balance of everything in a relationship with the passionate side being the majority of the weight (importance).

thoughts? perhaps I need to expand?

All right, I had to read this like six times to even remotely get an understanding of what the fuck you were trying to get at. And that little bit of prose? "Mouths tied and bodies twisted"? Seriously? Like, not even in an ironic way? What are you, like, 15?

Also, Huxley wasn't concerned with the relationship, he was concerned about the concept of government controlled sexuality. He wasn't poking fun at marriage, he was poking fun at what happens when you let the government sanction what happens in the bedrooms of the people, even if that's by making them fuck a lot.

Now, as to your point, a marriage based entirely on sex will never hold up. Because fucking gets old. Doesn't matter how many years you mix things up by adding new things, new people, new approaches, sex will only be so fresh for so long. You'd best be damned skippy you can tolerate looking at that person over a coffee table when you're not fucking them on it if you want to get married.

At the heart of this question is "Does anyone ever marry purely for fucking?" And I'm sure the answer is yes, and maybe they find out that their compatible after the fact, but I guaran-damn-tee you that if fucking is all that you have in a marriage, you'll be miserable. You can have a relationship based around fucking, but marriage is a long, boring-ass time to put up with someone when they're not sucking your cock.

Listen to what is being said here. One of my friends is learning the hard way that this does not work.

Bondage and mutation? Wtf? How does your body twist? You got a broken spine now or something?

Why would one even marry some one just for the sex? Not only is it a waste of money, it's boring as well.

How the fuck do you have a Boyd Tinsley in your custom title and no avatar of him. Get one, and drop the DMB, and then BE AWESOME as one with a Boyd Tinsley avatar would be expected.

This is called the honeymoon period, give it a month and see how you feel then. I usually take this opportunity to discover all of my partners flaws so that I'm more ready to forgive or overlook them, as opposed to discovering them later when you're actually already having second thoughts about the relationship.

Don't fool yourself into thinking that you are perfect together and that the current situation will be permanant, or else you are in for a rude awakening.

Sounds fun but don't marry yet~

Oh wow, thanks. They never really do a good job of examining the themes in the books they make you read in high school, and it's been driving me nuts for years exactly what point Huxley was trying to make there. You sort of have to be explicit about that with high school students, because we were all "Free sex with no repercussions? What's the downside to THAT?"

To get more on subject, this is why a lot of people recommend first moving in with your potential spouse and living together a while to see if you can stand one another. The acid test comes once the novelty of sex wears off, and you both get over your crush. That's when your partner's annoying personal habits really get noticeable.

although, when a couple moves in together there are a lot of things that become easier (paying rent, sharing house duties, having someone physically present when you get home, etc.), making it actually HARDER to break up.

moving in first definitely has the "testing the waters" advantage, but it also has so much weight and commitment attached that there's this "well, we've been living together, and i'd rather deal with you than deal with the trouble of moving, splitting furniture, etc.".