Log, Day 1

I'm writing today to record the events that will no doubt be extrodinary to any outside reader. And though I've experienced these trials firsthand, I must admit still don't believe them myself! It must have been a week ago today that it all started, to call it a life-altering event would be an understatement! Still, I'd rather I not forget. Lord knows it could be the story of the century. Oprah may be recommending this log to countless masses in paperback someday... but I guess that would mean I'd have to go on her show to plug it, and I'm not particularly found of her format... Plus, I'd have nothing to wear... But enough about that! I'll try and recall the events in the order they happened... Don't think I'm embellishing, either!

Several day ago I awoke in a grassy meadow. Couldn't remember a thing about the night before, naturally I assumed I had been drugged (despite what anyone tells you, I can handle my drinks just fine... usually, unless spritzers are involved), and sat up. The world seemed much larger today that usual, but before I could even get my bearings, I was approached by a curious onlooker...

It was a Mudkip! There was no mistaking it. And that's not the end, either - this guy TALKED! Couldn't even remember what he said, I was just so shocked he spoke English! ...Kinda.

"Hey, hey, what're you doin' out here, kip? Taking a nap?"

"Whoa! Hey! ...A talking Mudkip!" I said, probably looking about a derelect as one could.

"Wow. Are you baked or something, kip?"

"No, no... it's not that... I just..."

I paused for a second and gathered my thoughts, putting my hands on my head in a vane attempt to recall anything that would have happened to have me wind up here.

"Why don'tcha throw some what on your face." The Mudkip said, seemingly sensing my duress. "That always helps me." He motioned to a small pond nearby.

"Yeah... sure."

I waddled over to the pool, trying my best to regain my composure. I had only placed my flippers inside it when I sa.... flippers!? Certainly would've noticed those before.

"Whuzzuh? GHuuuhh!?" I shouted. Two noises I have never said and haven't been able to replicate since. I jumped back from the water and felt my face. Round, soft... a beak. Lordy lord, a beak. Gathering my courage, I looked back into the water - and what did I see? I was a Piplup! I didn't know whether to act surprised or what, but I did know one thing: I never wanted Fillet-O-Fish more in my life.

"What's wrong, water too cold?" The Mudkip asked.

I restrained myself. Still befuddled, but not willing to admit I was, up until a day ago, a human being and not wanting to be committed to whatever form of asylum Pokemon have, I flubbed a response.

"Oh yeah, heh, it's nothing. I just, uh, forgot to but in my night brace last night! You know what they say, if you don't keep it in you're teeth'll go right back to how they were."

"You don't have teeth, kip."

"Uh, yeah, exactly. 'Cause I didn't wear my brace."

The Mudkip looked at me the same way my father did when I told him I wanted to be a street organ grinder. I just knew my Pidgey was cooked.

"Haha! You're a peach, kip! What's you're name?"

I cleared my throat. "P...Pippy!"

Note to self, never go on improv.

"Pippy? What kind of a name is that?"

"What do you mean?"

"It sounds like a detergent or something, kip."

"Oh yeah, than what's *your* name?" I retorted. Pointing my wing forward in an ultimately silly attempt to look defiant.

"Kippy, kip".

Check. Mate.

"Um, yes. Soooo anyway, Kippy. Where is this place?"

"You're lost. I knew it. Don't be embarrassed, kip, it happens to best of us. Since you're not a local boy I'd think you better follow me back to the village. Maybe someone can give you some ideas on where you're supposed to be."

"Village...?"

Just then, a panicky Pokemon rushed up beside us, nearly checking me into a nearby tree.

"Hey-! Hey-! You guys! Anyone here on a Rescue Team?"

"Rescue Team?" I asked. "You mean like, 'search and rescue', that kind of thing?"

"Yeah, whatever! I just need help, and pronto!" He said, flailing his arms.

Kippy looked down for a moment. I could tell he was up to something.

"Sure! We'll be glad to help! We're a real experienced Explorer Team, aren't we, Pip". He said a little *too* jovially, finishing with a wink.

"Uh, yeah, that's us."

"Thank the PokeGods! Finally!" A look of relief rushed over him. "Okay, here's the deal: My friend, well, he's not really my friend, but I know him, got himself lost in the swamp. Said he was looking for a lost treasure of some kind. He's not much of an explorer yet, and I told him it was dangerous but it just didn't take! The poor guy's probably neck deep in mud by now!"

"And you want us to rescue him, right?"

"Pretty much." he said, winded from his little speech. "Oh, and the treasure. Gotta have that."

"Treasure!? Okay, okay. No need to worry, kip. We'll handle this! Come, Pip, to the swamp!" He charged off before I could even begin to wonder what I had gotten myself into. I never imagined Mudkips were so fast.

"Ah! Wait, the swamps that-a-way!" The Spinda yelled, wildly pointing in the other direction.

Kip quickly changed his direction, skidding across the grass before speeding off past us. "I knew that!"

The Spinda looked at me, confused. At least, I think he was confused. He had the same dizzying look on is face from the moment I saw him.

"Your friend's kinda... eager, huh?"

"Yeah, um, i guess!" I said before sprinting off after him. I wasn't about to be left alone with a crazy-looking teddy bear, no matter how harmless he looked. I just hope Kip knew what he was getting us into.

Log, Day 2

As we made our way to the swamp, I couldn't help but notice two things: the fetid methane-soaked air, and Kippy's utter lack of any sense of direction. We must have passed by the same log a dozen times, and I was starting to get worried.

"Kip... are you sure y-"

"Shh... wait, what was that?" He said, stopping suddenly in his tracks.

I listened hard, but could only make out the faint sound of bubbles popping on the muck surface. Maybe Kip had inhaled too much swamp gas.

"I don't hear anything..."

I spoke too soon. No sooner had the words left my beak than a quick figure pounced from behind a clump of large weeds. It stood in front of me, scowling.

It was a Rattata! It may be the bottom of the Pokemon totem-pole, but he sure scared the bejeezus outta me.

"Hey! What's the big idea?" I said, my voice a little shaky.

"It's a wild Pokemon!" Kip interjected. "Watch out, it may try and fight us."

"Wait.. why? What did we do?" I asked, still in my ready position of standing on one foot while my arm covered half of my head.

"Some Pokemon are just big jerks I guess."

I tried to pacify the Rattata. What if it tried to bite me? I had no idea where that mouth had been. Do they have tetanus shots in this place? Would my HMO even cover wild rat bites?

"Hey pal, listen I don't wanna-"

"Rattaaaaa~!"

"Hey, hey, cut it out!" I yelled, attempting to shield myself from its rampant blows.

"Hang in there, kip!" I heard from the side.

"Do something, doggone it!" I yelled between grunts.

"I'm cheering you on aren't I? Can't you handle one wild Rattata?"

"Oof!" That was all I could stands, I could stands no more.

"Aggghhh! Knock it off!" I yelled. I slapped the rat right across the cheek in frustration. The onslaught ceased. A sudden silence followed, with my attacker bursting into tears.

"Oh... oh! Hey, I'm sorry little guy! I didn't mean to hurt you so bad. I, I guess I'm still getting used to these wing things and..."

"No, fool!" I heard Kippy yell. "That's his Fake Tears attack! He's trying to throw you off!"

"Say wha...?"

Just then, the Rat's demeanor changed, he head-butted me right in theguy, sending me topping down into the muck. I scrambled to my feet, trying to keep my footing.

"H, hey, you... rat... guy" I said, winded, "Why dontcha... fight fair, huh?"

He stood still, I couldn't tell what he was going to do next, but I back away slowly.

The rat moved one space up.

I backed away again.

He moved forward.

I paused. He paused.

I moved forward, he backed up.

"Wait a sec... what's this?"

"It's Fushigi no Dungeon, kip!" Kippy chimed in.

"Fo' shizzle no wha-wha?"

"Mysterious Dungeon, man, Mysterious Dungeon".

"Oh."

The rat suddenly spoke. "It means everything on the current level performs actions at the same time. When one action is performed, be it movement, attacks, or just waiting, everything else gets a turn, too."

I paused, waiting for him to sucker punch me or something.

"I..is that so..."

"Yeah. You have to pay attention to your position and surroundings."

"Okay, so, what now?"

"Oh, I'm done with you now. I was hoping to find an Explorer Team to join, but you guys don't look strong enough yet. Best of luck to ya!" And with that, the rat was gone, just as he appeared.

"...I give up, what happened?"

"He ran off, kip. He must've thought we weren't good enough yet. If we increase our clan rank, more Pokemon will want to join us."

I sighed. "Ranks, dungeons, Fu...fuhhh...."

"Fushigi no Dungeon."

"Yeah, that. It's all a little to much for me..."

"You'll learn, kip, everyone has to.

Just then, we heard a noise, it sounded like a yelp, coming from beyond some trees.

"Hey, you think that's..."

It was. A Spinda, neck-deep in mud, was struggling to free itself from it's icky trap. Beside him lay an equally submerged treasure box.

"Oh God, finally! Hey, guys, help me outta here, OK? I've been stuck like this for hours and I have to scratch myself in two places at once!"

Kip's eyes rested solely on the treasure, coming to senses only after a moment of greedy anticipation. "Oh...! Oh, sure, we'll help you out. No problem at all.:

"Alright, alright, hold on." I instructed, getting behind him. "Kip, you get on that side and..."

A flash a light appeared, teleporting the Spinda and treasure chest away. If I hadn't of seen it, I would of totally punched the guy who told it to me, I can tell you that much.

Kip answered the question he just knew I was going to ask.

"It's our Explorer Badge, kip. When we hold it up, we can teleport any Pokemon or treasures back to town!"

"That's... nifty." I said.

"And it beat dragging their battered, almost assuredly lifeless bodies all the way out these dungeons, kip."

"So, we can use it too right?"

"You'd think so, wouldn't you? Yes, we can, but only after we complete a mission."

"But how does it..."

"I don't know, kip, I just don't know. Don't think too hard, it might hurt your head."

"Well, we finished our job, so let's get outta here. I'm getting a weird vibe off this place."

And with that, we whisked away on a beam of light. That thing really takes it out of you, too. I thought I was gonna lose my lunch for sure. Still, we made it back in one piece, and we saved somebody. Not bad, I suppose. These dungeons may be the stuff of nightmares, but I guess it's an adjustment. Not as much of an adjustment as learning to floss with flippers, but whatever.