Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis - Moses hates traffic: ten commandments for drivers

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Moses hates traffic: ten commandments for drivers

Quote:

Vatican issues 10 Commandments for drivers

VATICAN CITY (AP) -- Got road rage? The Vatican on Tuesday issued a set of "Ten Commandments" for drivers, telling motorists to be charitable to others on the highways, to refrain from drinking and driving, and to pray you make it before you even buckle up.

[...]

It called for drivers to obey speed limits and to exercise a host of Christian virtues: charity to fellow drivers, prudence on the roads, hope of arriving safely and justice in the event of crashes.

And it suggested prayer might come in handy -- performing the sign of the cross before starting off and saying the Rosary along the way. The Rosary was particularly well suited to recitation by all in the car since its "rhythm and gentle repetition does not distract the driver's attention."

'Drivers' Ten Commandments'
The "Drivers' Ten Commandments," as listed by the document, are:

1. You shall not kill. (gosh this sounds familiar...hmmm...where have I heard it before?)

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

I can see the Sunday confession now:
"Bless me father, for I have cut off someone."

Quote:

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

Damn, no more leather and whips in the backseat.

Damn sunday drivers, telling me how to drive.

11. Thou shalt not drive if over the age of 80. Seriously, although there are a few exceptions as always, elderly drivers get on my nerves. If you're too afraid to drive the speed limit, or your eyesight doesn't make driving as easy as it used to, you should seriously consider getting off the road.

Man, the Vatican puts out it's own "Onion-Quality" stories before even the Onion can.

Quote:

Originally Posted by acid (Post 456687)

Man, the Vatican puts out it's own "Onion-Quality" stories before even the Onion can.

Now I'm curious as to what the Vaticans "Ten Commandments for the Internet!" would look like.

Number one should clearly be: Thou shalt not TK.

#2: If thine internet compadre acts like a woman, talks like a woman, clearly she is indeed a he

Is it just me or is there suddenly a 500% increase in horrible drivers this year? I've driven the same amount every year and this year in particular, I've noticed a lot more idiots on the road.

Just this past week I saw someone next to me (he was on the left turn lane and I was on the lane on his right) and the light was red. I guess he decided he didn't feel like waiting anymore so he just made the left turn while the light was red. This was around 11 am with lots of cars on the road on an expressway (an expressway is kind of like a freeway, but with a few traffic lights for those who don't know). Then just yesterday this idiot on his cell phone on another left turn lane keeps going after the light turned red 4 seconds before. He hits a car from the oncoming traffic since their light obviously turned green 3 seconds before he made his left turn...

Anyone else notice a significant increase in idiots on the road? It might be because I'm in California and everyone's too damn busy with their gadgets, business, starbucks to pay any attention to the road, but damn it's annoying.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Devoxycontin (Post 457097)

California drivers, particularly Bay Area drivers are some of the worst. I can't even count how many SUVs have tailgated me or a family member in the last week. And we were going above the speed limit.

Yeah, I'm in Palo Alto up in the hills off of 280. It's not so bad here since the roads have that small town feel and we're away from major roads, but when I go down to the South Bay (Sunnyvale, Santa Clara, San Jose) it's just crazy. It seems like everyone either goes 15-20 mph under or over the speed limit; it's never at a reasonable speed. Where in the bay are you from, devoxy?

None can compare to Quebec drivers... Even my old French Prof from college used to comment how drivers in France and other french communities *such as Quebec*, are legendary for their horrible driving skills, and i always see so many of them here in Ottawa.

I thought drivers in Los Angeles were insane until I came to this country. There literally seem to be no laws on the road here so long as you don't crash into anyone. If you live in some of the newer areas of the capital you might be lucky enough to find some painted lane dividers.

Though I can't say I take anything that comes from the Vatican seriously.