The lovely breakup volume II
 

Wow, it was over a year ago since I posted about a breakup here. That was old news, now onto the more recent and even more confusing breakup.

Anyway, I am trying to cope with the usual rundown of emotions of sadness and lonliness and whatever, but it's much harder this time around. The day before I got the news of a breakup, I tore ligiments in my foot and couldn't walk, now I might have to go to the hospital again because of pnemonia (not sure if that is what I have at the moment, but I have all the signs of it.)

So I am stuck inside, with nothing really to do, while coping with a breakup. Never the best thing to do.

The next Friday, we decide to talk, and it goes on for two hours and the whole friendship thing is happening and it's working out fine. I don't think I can think of her just as a friend though, which is just horrible..and when she gets her next boyfriend I am going to probably go evil on myself.

So, after a breakup which ended well. How ...or what is some good advice to get over the feeling of her more than a friend if it's even possible. Stop talking to her for awhile...? I don't really know how to get over the feeling.

I know this is going to sound a little bit unpleasant, but I have always found that the best way is to concentrate on the things you never liked about her. Nobody is perfect, we just learn to ignore the flaws and unpleasant characteristics of a person that we are in love with. These characteristics are usually outweighed by their positive characteristics, of course. If you concentrate just on the things you don't like about a person, it won't be too long before you're thinking that you dodged a bullet by breaking up with them.

Of course, that isn't entirely an honest way of thinking, any more than the belief that the person you just broke up with was the ultimate paragon of virtue... but it can help you cope.

I'm not sure what advice would help for a guy, but I can say for myself: I cry for maybe an hour after I get the news, suck it up, and move on. No joke. That doesn't mean I miss the person - I usually do. But I try and focus on enjoying time by myself, which is often needed.

I don't try to focus on the bad parts of the person, since I want to remember the times we had fondly, and not in an angry light.

Just because a relationship doesn't work out doesn't mean you should write it off.

I really can see what you're saying here, but the reason I suggested what I did is because it sounds like this guy is still really stuck on his ex, and he needs to get unstuck, real soon. What I suggested is not a good way to do it, it's an ugly and bitter way to get over someone, but it can be very cathartic. It also doesn't necessarily stop you from being friends with that person, because the sort of things you might regard as being unpleasant in a lover are often irrelevant in a friend.