Oh those troubled friends
 

So everyone has em. Those friends that just always seem to be upset about something. Something is always troubling them and they always have some kind of problem. As a friend you wanna help them out as best you can. But when does it become a chore? Are they really worth sticking around if they can't help themselves? Are they really only friends with you simply due to the fact that your helping them out with your problems? Maybe you yourself are a troubled one. Do you find yourself pushing your friends away with your troubles? Do your friends help you out at all? Have you lost any good friends because you wouldn't let them help?

Basically it comes down to, how do you help your friends, or how do your friends help you?

For me, I have this one friend who is constantly depressed. I try to be of what help I can. But usually I just have to leave her be. Until she is ready to accept help, I can't do much.

I know when it comes to having troubles of my own. I tend not to reach out to my friends for help. I just kinda keep it to myself. I don't really like to burden my friends with my troubles. However, sometimes when a friend does figure out that I'm in dire straights about something, they can usually offer some good outside point of view which usually gets me started in the right direction for getting over whatever it is that was bothering me. Thank goodness for friends eh?

Sometimes these friends make their bed and I'd figure they should lie in it. What gets me the most is that I couldn't open their eyes more than I could to see the light side of things. :\

I had a best friend, she underwent a transformation after that summer before 7th grade and changed for the worse. I still don't know what happened, but I was beginning to suspect rape from a older male she knew personally. And she never said any more than that since. I thought this is horrible, she must felt like she couldn't tell me because I'm like her best friend since childhood and that I might judge her for it. ;\ I can actually understand that now, but seeing the direction she headed into was something I would not WANT for someone I love so dearly... :(

All I could do is just let her go. ;___; And that in itself is emotionally hard.

I always find it best not to intervene unless I am asked or it would be dangerous not to (and by dangerous I mean the other party is severely depressed and might need medical help).
When I say 'asked' I mean they start telling me how they feel, I find it's important not to pry or try to get them to 'share' with me, because that usually makes it worse before it gets better. A lot of the time people just need someone to talk to to help straiten things out in their head. Always remember, there is only so much of yourself you can give for another person, and if it starts to drag on you I suggest you be honest with the other person. Tell them you are only good for so long or get some extra help to for your friend (could another friend, or even a psychiatrist [nobody likes the idea of a psychiatrist, but they do help in some cases])
When dealing with yourself it's a similar story, take your time with your own emotions to understand why you feel a certain way, and if you feel to confused to sort it out by yourself thats when you should talk to people. Always remember it always gets better eventually, if you were happy all the time happy would lose it value and life would be nothing.
-I hope that helps and doesn't just sound crazy...

I have the tendency to symphatize and want to help, however, after a while, it sickens me. I don't see improvement, and that's when I take a step back and don't bother.

I just tell them stop being so emo because it's annoying. I had a friend who used to complain a lot, so I told him "Fuck man, stop complaining all the time, not everything has to adjust to what you want them to be. Instead of complaining do something about it." I do help my friends, but if they refuse my (and others') help and they just keep on staying in their "comfort zone", I just leave them be, or tell them to find someone else to talk to.

Many friends tend to seek my advice on a number of issues. Even friends from high school who I didn't normally spend time with anymore still called whenever they were in trouble. I admit that some of the issues I've dealt with have been too trivial or beyond my experiences. With the latter, I usually tried to give general advice for handling the situation.

I enjoy helping out friends and giving advice when they need it, but I do become frustrated with some people after a point. It gets annoying to have someone complain over something very trivial, spend a lot of time talking to them until they feel better, only to find they're right back where they started and have forgotten all progress by the next day. I don't mind if it's something worth being upset over or I know that they just need to vent, but some people just stay emo and absolutely refuse to see reason. Basically, if someone continually ignores all advice anyway, why continue to give it?

I've been on the opposite end too, though. When I'm feeling depressed, I only talk about it with one or two close friends. I tend to wait until things have already gotten pretty bottled up, and then complain a bit too much. Then I worry if I'm being annoying and pushing them away, so that can add to the problem. Thankfully, I've got some pretty patient friends who are helpful and I can trust to tell me if I'm just worrying too much.

I enjoy helping people and making them feel better. I guess that's why most of my friends come to me when they are upset or depressed. I listen to them,talk to them, and try to remind them that things change and whatever bad is happening in their life at that moment,won't be there forever. I do get annoyed though,when a friend talks to you about how upset they are and doesn't seem to want to feel better. Or when it seems like they only come to you when they are upset or act like their life is one big drama. I don't know,I just get really bothered when a friend seems to be depressed all the time,no matter what's going on in their life. I don't really have sympathy for them, because they don't seem to want to be happy or either they dramatize everything. Other then that,I love helping out. ;d

As for me,I don't like going to other people for help mainly because I don't like talking about my problems,but at the same time I really want to. It's weird and it seems to bother my friends. It's not that I don't trust them,it's just I don't want to burden them. I appreciate it when people do help me though,because I know they are there for me. The best thing is when they just talk to you or hug you. And I like to receive cuddling from a certain someone. It always helps me feel better.

I am on my own for the most part these days, but I always want to help someone in need, friend or not.

It becomes a chore when you constantly give the same reassurances but your friend never takes your advice to heart.

My ex-best friend was like this. She was very studious but every two months or so, she would just become depressed due to her marks. She would then cut out anything from her life that she considered as a distraction to her studies. She would come to me with her worries and I tried helping her out. But after three years of the same advice, I just got tired of it all and let her go.

By then, it was university and she was much more depressed. I was sorry for leaving at the time but there's only so much I can take.