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Bernard Black Mar 19, 2007 06:36 PM

Strange relationships.
 
I guess I'm pretty strange when it comes to being in a relationship. I've never been in a relationship that has lasted under a year so far, because I find myself dedicated to the person I am with. However...

I'm starting to think I have a sexual dysfunction. It's a weird thing to admit, but I don't find myself "in the mood" as much as normal people would have me believe was normal. I know it's not a case of finding my partner unattractive; I am known to have my moments, however rare, and it is actually quite impossible for me to find anyone other than my partner sexually attractive. Yet I seem to find that I have little if any interest in sex whatsoever. I love everything about relationships, up to and including feelings before and after making love, but having sex is rarely something I find myself motivated for. I have to question myself, especially since my partners (past and present) seem to be a lot more sexually active than myself. Is there something wrong with me?

The Wise Vivi Mar 19, 2007 06:43 PM

Nope. Just means you are more emotional attached than sexually attached. You get the highs of just being close to someone and caring about that person wholly instead of just sex, or a combination of the two.

You are marriage compatible. :)

Smelnick Mar 19, 2007 09:46 PM

Be glad your not one of those people who's main goal in life is to have sex. I tend to have negative opinions about people who think that sex is purely for enjoyment. But really, it isn't, I think its more than that. It's really an expression of love that is deeper than anything other method of expression. So to not feel that sexual drive isn't so much a sign of dysfunction. It probably just a sign that you have the right idea about what sex is for. Kudos to you for not being a sex hungry beast.

RacinReaver Mar 20, 2007 07:38 PM

I imagine how you feel is only an issue if your partner doesn't feel quite the same way. If your partner likes to have sex more often because they find it a fulfilling part of a loving relationship, then it might be something you'd need to compromise on.

If you find someone that doesn't like having sex often, then I guess you've found a pretty good match for yourself in that part of the relationship.

Bernard Black Mar 25, 2007 05:01 PM

I think for my current partner it's more an issue of crushing insecurity; he is quite literally riddled with worry about himself as he has had incredibly harrowing experiences in past relationships, and maybe feels a need to prove himself. I believe that would explain why he feels it is necessary to be so sexually active, but that would not explain my past relationships. It sometimes makes me question whether I should be in one or not, but it is only the issue of my almost complete lack of a libido that makes me doubt myself. Everything else feels so right =/

Chibi Neko Mar 27, 2007 07:48 PM

To me, sex is good, but it is not the core of a relationship. People who say that it is only care about sex, and not about the relationship itself.

I am currently engaged to a wonderful guy, and we only have sex about 2 a month or so, (far less now because he is working in Alberta).

I have a low sex drive, but he understands and dosen't seem to care half the time cuz cuddling on the couch watching a movie fine for him. To him, sex is just a bonus.

If you are going to be in a relationship, make sure love and respect is on the top, and sex after.


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