Ow, that hurts!
 

I'm making tacos right now, and I just burnt myself. Nothing big, but it still hurts somewhat, and it's annoying.

What are your stories of kitchen-related mutilation? Hopefully your tragic, and probably dumb, mistakes will serve as a warning to others.

Around when I was five my mom had a tray of tater-tots in her hand and accidentally hit me across the side of the face with it (same idea as when people get hit by idiots carrying two-by-fours).

Now I have this mark by my eye that looks a lot like a pimple that wont go away, I just write it off as a birthmark when people I don't know well ask me about it.

I burned my hand yesterday making a pie. I went to pull out the tray and apparently didn't have the oven mitt in my hand well enough, because part of my palm touched the 400 degree tray. Fun stuff.

I cut myself while slicing an onion and didn't really notice it until I was dribbling. I made dinner with it anyway.

I burnt the back of my hand on the red-hot grate of a toaster oven. Really badly. What's worse is that the pain didn't really register immediately, and I thought what was on my hand was burnt waffle. It turned out to be scorched flesh. Still have a little scar there, too.

Dropped a cup of boiling water on my foot once.... Wow! Did that hurt a lot. I have also burnt myself on many occasions. The most annoying being bacon splashes in the face while cooking it on the frying pan.

I was in a hurry and sliced my hand open while cutting an orange. It was no big thing, but I bled on the orange.

Chopped about 1/8" off of my thumb while slicing red peppers last year. It didn't hurt much because the knives were really sharp.

I've been having fun with jalapenos recently and found out the other day that the oil can survive on a cutting board through a rinsing in the sink (it's rad when you're chopping potatoes and wondering why your hands feel like burning). Also, that shit really burns in the eyes.

I cut myself really bad while cutting steak one time, it cut into my fingernail and blood was everywear... as always i never feel the cut until i see it. it looked bad but it did not feel that bad a all.

I do that a lot. Most notably once when I made "vegan" chili for a potluck, but it had enough drops of blood in it to probably not be considered "vegan" anymore. It was pretty tasty!

Um.

I failed at making Ramen once. I had put it on the stove and was waiting the five minutes for it to be finished and I got sidetracked. So of course I could smell the burning ramen and ran downstairs. I turned off the stove, but grabbed the pot (metal handles) without gloves and threw it into the sink as I made a hearty yell of pain.

Nothing serious aside from the pain, but cleaning that pot was a chore.

I always have oil splatter on me while cooking anything on a normal pan. I try to just turn the food over while standing as far away as possible, but sometimes that doesn't always work. I haven't had any major burns though. Just maybe one or two small ones.

My mother made homefries and forgot to unplug the deep fryer. when she went to pick it up to put it away, she dropped it and the boiling fat fell all over her. I was outside and I heard a scream from the house, I rushed in and saw her standing in sock with the deep fryer on the floor.

I grabbed her and put her in the tub of cold water. we took her to the hospital after she cooled down. lucky for her she did not get any blisters or scars.

Other than oil splatters and me running around the kitchen going "AIYAIYAIYAIYAI!" trying to relax myself, my only other failure at cooking (other than the occasional popcorn mishap) was 4 years ago back when Easy Mac wasn't so easy: my bowl melted. :/

I recently got an ugly burn on my wrist while baking waffles. I still don't know how that actually happened...

two weeks ago, i burnt my fingers pretty stupidly. I left a spoon sitting on the edge of my frying pan. and whilst i was placing something in my fridge, the spoon slid in. the frying pan was hot. and i stupidly tried to grab the sppon with my bare fingers. ouch that hurt.

I put a plate on the upper rack of a bbq so i could talk on the phone and finish smoking, thinking it would be fine to just sit there for the 3 or 4 puffs i had left. Went to reach for it after i finished, and seared my fingerprints off my right hand... stupid, but kind of cool :P

Working in a restaurant, I was frying up some homefries and had put way too much liquid butter on the grill. The result of me trying to turn the homefries was a howl of pain and a burn mark on the back of my hand that wont go away.

I remember cooking a chicken kiev for my dad quite a few years ago and was stupid enough to use a tray which seemed to collect all of the boiling hot garlic butter around the edge. I was wearing oven gloves but they were shit; there was a massive hole in one, and I pretty much threw the tray across the kitchen when I felt it. I've absent-mindedly picked up pans without oven-gloves and spattered dinner everywhere quite a few times; I probably shouldn't be allowed in kitchens :(

I've had a few flareups when I've cooked some meats with too much oil, which caused some singes or burns. Usually I'm pretty careful when it comes to handling knives, so no blood in my food yet.

I'm usually more fail when I do simple things. I've burnt myself pretty badly making Hot Pockets. Those things are deadly.

Don't cut semi-cold butter with a butterknife or anything sharper while resting the butter on your other hand. got a cut right on the underside of my index finger join. owwie! :( bled for a while too.

It's not too unusual for me to accidentally touch the side of a hot pot without really thinking about it until that lovely burning sensation kicks in. I've never gotten a real burn past an annoying sore spot though, so I wouldn't really count it as a horrible mutilation.

There was one time when I attempted to fry hamburger meat that I hadn't allowed to fully thaw, and had to dodge oil splatters until I managed to get it down into smaller pieces. Flipping large chunks of meat without splashing a little is rather difficult.

Let's see - cleaver went through large candy cane stick I was trying to break into smaller pieces and sliced my middle finger (above the knuckle) open - went down to the bone.

Spilled clam chowder all over my hand when I was working at a cafe. The chowder is thick so it sticks on you. Melted cheese from pizza does the same thing.

The worst thing I ever saw was when two idiots at work boiled an egg in the microwave, and then proceeded to poke the egg (once the egg was removed from the microwave) with a toothpick.

The egg exploded into their face, hands, and arms. Ice water and burn gel to the rescue.

I reached over to try to grab a pair of chopsticks for my freshly made Ramen, something caught my eye and i somehow dragged the bowl of Ramen onto my 80% bare thigh (i was like 7 and wearing boy shorts, because i was a 7 year old boy OK!) I looked up at my brother, he looked at me. And than it hit me: my leg was getting cooked and MSGed. It was like a 2nd degree burn, and it hurt pretty bad. I've only got like a slightly darker patch of skin there now so it's ok.

While my incident doesn't involve kitchen accidents, I DID chip a tooth on an ice cream bar at Disneyland before. That, has been the only time in my life food (or anything in resemblance to it) has ever hurt me physically (aside from gastronomic disasters of the reaction to lactose intolerance).