Where do you stand?
 

I have a question for everyone here.
For no reason at all, parts of the past jump out at me(I'm sure this happens to everyone) and I find myself wondering about different things.
So, I thought that maybe I'd ask a question here.

Where do you stand?

For example: Your parents are fighting.
Are you the person who will get up and ask, "Why do you always do this?"
Or will you mind your own business?

My sister (almost) always speaks up and asks my parents why they fight. I never do.

How about you?

Different example: You see someone being attacked.
Will you run up and help?

Are you a hero?
If you say you're not, will there be a point that you will?
If you are, will there be a point where you won't?

Where do you stand?

I'll start things off. I'm not a hero. I've never been in a situation where I would need to help someone.
Hopefully there's more ideas.

I'm not sure what the question really is, but I'm going to try to answer it anyways...

I pretty much mind my own business for most circumstances. If there's a fight somewhere, I try to stay out of it, same goes for arguments. I'm not a hero, even though I'd like to be, I'm just not.

However...

These things change with the situation. If things involve my closest friends and family, then I would make an attempt to intervene. I tend to be a negotiater when I do though. I don't try to take sides and fight on one side, rather, I attempt to find some common middle ground and attempt to stop the argument/fight, much like a mediator. I really can't pick sides, so I'd never actually fight on any particular side.

.....

Parents fighting - Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Depends on the topic. If it is a useless conversation (or did you mean fighting in a physical way?) or one of them is overreacting it is pretty likely.

Someone being attacked. Hmm - if there is not much danger for me involved, yes. But sometimes it´s better to take out your mobile and call the police.

I´ve been in a handful of situations where someone was in need of help. All of them could be solved without a real fight - I like words better and have no experience in hand-to-hand combat. ;)

I'm not a hero either. I only do what's necessary when provoked. If someone attacks me, I'll use self-defense, but that's it. I don't intervene with other people's business and stay out of it, because I know I hate it when other people poke into my business which doesn't involve them. As for parents fighting? I hate how loud it can get, but a pair of headphones and some music will often solve that problem.

The thing about it is, of course, that nobody really knows what they will do until they are in the situation.

If one of my close friends or neighbours are in an argument or fight that I think is honourable and I agree with, I'll step in. Other than that, I'm not getting shot up or anything for a total stranger.

I intervene if my parents are fighting about some pointless.... because its hilarious. Some of the stupidest they complain about are just fun to get involved with. My parents don't fight very often in the first place, so its rarely come up about making a decision like that.

As for being a hero.... depends.... like its VERY situational for me. But I would give it a 50/50 chance.

When my parents complain, I just stay out of it unless it comes to physical blows. That hasn't happened in a while tho. Being a hero is very circumstantial . . . if someone was being attacked and it was a simple matter of fists, I would probably try to stop the attacker somehow. But weapons . . . I'd prob stay out of it.

So, this is basically asking if we're a leader or a follower.

If parents fight and one questions whether to inquire the reason or cause of this fight, they're a leader. If they do nothing about it, they're a follower. They've succumbed to the fighting as an acceptable thing. But a leader is uncomfortable. The fighting, it must stop. Or, ask why and maybe this leader can make it stop.

Someone getting taken down in public by force, what would any one individual nearby do? Well, hey, I wouldn't want to get hurt today. So, let's leave them all alone?

Or pick up that trashcan and run charging in. It's wide and large body makes it heavy, but it repels bullets or absorbs them being it's made of a really thick iron for durability in harsh weather. Soon others will note as to what you are doing and jump in following your action. Grabbing a pipe, maybe a loose brick, perhaps a portion of the phonebook from a telephone booth.

But for me, it's all variant. Sometimes I'm passive, sometimes I'm looking to move in a direction and rouse a bunch to my cause. I'm never ever steadily following in one direction. Much like a freelancer.

I like to stay our of arguments as much as possible. Am I hero? I don't know. I usually try to help people, but I've never been in a situation where someone nearby is being attacked. I don't know how I'd react. I'd like to think I would help them, assuming I can help them.

It really depends on what the situation is. I grew up with conflict so I am no stranger to it. I think it's important to learn to judge when to get involved in conflict.

If a child is getting hit in a grocery store, I'll speak up. If my parents are fighting, I don't speak up. (Its hilarious. Why would I stop hilarity.)

It really depends on what is happening. I have been labelled as a hero for small shit before, but I really disagree with the notion. I think when someone is hurting or something bad is happening to them which is undeserved, fellow man should help.

Sorry if my thread seems somewhat confusing, but it's mostly just to see what you guys can think of. I left it pretty much open to anything you guys wanted to say.
Whether it is your parents fighting or an old woman being attacked...
It's cool to see what everyone has to say.

Mostly I'll stick to the un-heroic side, that is, calling the Police, being a mediator/negotiator or cooling agent (for the angry person that is..). Unless a person is in immediate danger and saving that person wouldn't cost my life I'd probably go down and help. Other than that, for normal things, I'll intervene only if someone's actions violates another persons or my rights as a human being. I consider irritation like people laughing away loudly in a restaurant trival so as much as I can, I'll let things stay the way they are.

Well perhaps you could put an edit in your first post to clarify things abit. I was a little confused throughout reading the posts till I came to yours. :)

it depends
 

well, it depends on how you feel about it too.

none of us with our parents or loved ones fight, and most of us wish that no one fought period, but really if you're having conflicts about it, I guess you should talk to your parents about it and tell them how you feel about it, but only when you're comfortable to do it, aknowledging the issue is at least a first step to a resolution

When my parents were fighting... I would get agarvated, because my father would do something really asanine purely to agitate my mother. He thought it made a bigger impression of him being the "man of the house", but it really just made him a bigger, hopeless prick. The rest of my family (my mom, my bro, and myself) fight just out of fun. We yell at each other over really stupid shit, and laugh about it about a minute later. I remember making my mom so agravated she yelled "You make me so angry... I... I... Just want lots of chocolate! Give me chocolate now!" That was fuckin hillarious.

Someone is attacked, or someone is in trouble... This is a double edged sword. When you help someone, their problems become yours. I know that sounds cold blooded, but it is the way it is. I remember getting on to LSD (Lake Shore Drive you drug addict), and before I got on to the entrance, I saw a white kid face down laying next to a sidewalk. I thought to myself, I could pull over and see what his problem is, but I know the neighborhood I'm in is not the place to stop for anything. The kid might have not been dead. The kid may have needed medical attention. At the same time, if the kid is dead, I'd probably be next if I checked him out. Whatever killed him would probably still be close by. Now for a different story. I found a dude face down in the grass near downtown Evanston. It was 3 in the morning, I was coming home from a party, and their are very few places in Evanston that are so dangerous you wouldn't hesitate to stop and help someone. I talked to him, shook him a little, and he got up. I offered him a ride home, but he refused and proceeded to walk away. I thought about following him to make sure he got back to wherever he was going, but he seemed a little shaken up, and I didn't need to creep him out any more that he was.

Being a hero... The only time you'll really know if you are a hero is when the opportunity arises. I caught my coworker in a 10' fall. It scared the shit out of me, but I knew it was going to happen. She was acting foolish, so I set myself up for the catch. There was another time I could have been a hero. An elderly lady slipped out of her seat and fell on her ass on the ground. For all those who would think it would be funny, you should realize that elderly people have fragile bones and weaker muscles. A broken pelvis would be no joke. The worst was, I saw it happen. It was like slow motion. Instead of helping her, I just froze. Luckily, it was at a doctor's wedding, and most of the groom's friends were doctors. When it happened, she had three doctors checking her out to see if she was alright. I could never say for sure if I could have helped. Being a hero is... not easy.

Parents fighting: Sass was right when she said that it's important to know when to get involved in a conflict. I'll usually let them work things out on their own, but if the argument escalates past a certain point I'll intervene and make them stop and go into separate rooms to cool down.

Someone being attacked: I would normally help, but it really depends on whether or not the assailant has a weapon. If they don't, I will yell at the top of my friggin' lungs at them to draw attention. Hopefully by that point people will come see what's going on because I will most likely have started throwing shit at the attacker by then (from a safe distance, of course). If they have a weapon that is not a firearm, I'll call the cops and get someone nearby to help out (hopefully the attacker will feel threatened when outnumbered and run). If they have a gun, I'll just call the cops and hide.

I'm the type of person that will help out if I can, though I wouldn't call myself a hero. I won't get too involved when it comes to really dangerous situations, though. For example, if I see someone facedown on the side of the highway next to a vehicle, I will only call the cops and won't stop. I don't allow my common sense to become clouded by my urges to help people.

QFT. That's pretty much how I feel.

My parents never fight so luckily I don't have to decide which one to side with.

When it comes to strangers that are having a fight I generally keep well away. I don't want to be involved in something that has nothing to do with me. In the rare case I will interfere in other peoples business but only when I know that my safety isn't being jeopordised.

Well, what little I remember of my parents being together I didn't really get in the middle of it, I usually left the room and went to my room or somewhere I couldn't hear them.

As for jumping in and helping people in a fight, see one of my recent journals :boxing: I've got a black eye from that one. But I only get in the middle of a fight if its all one sided and they really can't defend themselves at all. If they were well capable of defending themselves I'd probably walk away. Men get a little angry when women get in the middle of their testosterone driven battles.

Parents fighting? Depends. If it's an argument that we all know is going nowhere, then I'd simply wait for it to fizzle out. Otherwise, I'll pick the side of the one that I think is correct (or pitch in my two cents as well). But most of the arguments my parents are so boring/perennial that they're barely worth listening in to.

Heroism. Depends on what you mean. If there is a situation in which my intuition tells me that some course of action is the 'right thing to do', most of the time I'd do it. This has happened to me many times, often to my deepest regret. However, for me, the right thing to do does not always translate into doing the 'heroic'. Like if I saw somebody getting robbed, I'd call the cops. No more, no less.