"Why me, O God?"
 

I was watching The Count of Monte Cristo and came across the scene where Edmond Dantès has been wrongly imprisoned in the prison Chateau d'If. Armand Dorleac, the warden of Chateau d'If, shows him to his new quarters and whips him to commemorate his anniversary date of imprisonment. While Edmond is being strapped to the wall to be beaten, he and the warden have a conversation:

Armand: And if you're thinking just now, "Why me, O God?" The answer is, God has nothing to do with it. In fact, God is never in France this time of year.
Edmond: God has everything to do with it. He's everywhere. He sees everything.
Armand: All right. Let's make a bargain, shall we? You ask God for help, and I'll stop the moment he shows up.

God does not show up and Edmond is brutally whipped year after year on his anniversary date. One day, 7 years later, another prisoner, the Abbé Faria who is trying to escape, mistakenly digs his way into Edmond's cell. The Abbé has been a prisoner in the Chateau d'If for 11 years, 5 of which has been digging the tunnel that has led him to Edmond's cell. Edmond's lifts the Abbé up on his shoulders so he can look outside:

Abbé: I have not seen the sky these 11 years. Thank you. Thank you, God.
Edmond: There is no talk of God in here, priest.
Abbé: What about the... inscription? (etched into the wall is the phrase "God will give me justice")
Edmond: It's faded, just as God has faded from my heart.
Abbé: And what has replaced it?
Edmond: Revenge.

And so we have our friend Edmond cursing God for the situation he is in now. Which brings me to the point of discussion. Regardless of your personal beliefs in whether or not you believe in a god, have you ever asked yourself, "Why me?" when something bad has happened to you that you had no control over? Here's what I mean when I'm talking about having control or no control over a situation:

You've been walking around a black neighborhood and telling every black person you see that they are a stupid-ass nigger that won't amount to shit like the color of their skin, and then they beat your ass and break your bones. Now you are lying in the hospital wondering, "Why me?" Duh, because of what you said. So kind of like a cause and effect relationship, and you were the direct cause of what transpired.

While on the other hand, let's say that you were born without legs or maybe you were walking through the crosswalk and a drunk driver runs the red light and clips you so that you are going to lose your legs. You're lying in the hospital asking yourself, "Why me? What the fuck did I do to deserve this?"

Has anything bad happened to you, as big as having terminal cancer or as small as being born without all ten fingers, where you have asked yourself, "Why me?" Is there any explanation you can give yourself to answer why? And if you can answer the why, does it make you feel any better to know that or not? How do you deal with situations like this where you are the bearer of misfortune while everyone else around you seems to have hit the jackpot? And in the end, has your outlook on life changed because of these events?

I don't think I've ever adequately answered that question in the present. Looking back at stuff though, I can see how I benefited from those experiences. And that's a sufficient enough explanation. The answer to "why did that happen then?" is "So I can be who I am now."

Quite a few things.

My family's financial situation. I'll never fully understand why my mom had to suffer, and work 4 jobs, just to support her kids after my dad cheated on her and left her, taking all of our money. It's not really a "why me" situation, more like a "why us?" situation.

When I was first diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, I also thought that, mostly because I couldn't afford the medication and it was excruciatingly painful before I got treatment. I've been very good the last few years, but I still have moments when I wonder why it had to happen to me.

Lastly, being cheated on. That is something I'll never make sense of, or be able to figure out why.

I usually equate the bad things as karma in a sense. I ask "What did I do to deserve this" and the answer is usually "because you deserve it" for one reason or another. I suppose it makes the situation a little easier to handle. With that mentality it all comes down to whether or not you're willing to deal with the consequences, and usually I have enough will power to salvage whatever is left and move on.

There are times however, when I just want everything to cease and be done with it.

I asked that question to god.
And you know what he said?
'Because I have better things to do than help you.'

Actually, I just tell myself everyone is going to die someday, so, what's the difference if I die now.

Of course, those self proclaimed do-gooders facing death will say, "Why must the good die young?"

Actually, i don't know what I'm trying to say, except god said, I just had to post something in this thread, or I'm gonna get lightning bolted tomorrow.

Regarding 'The Count of Monte Cristo' I have to say that the film (while being pretty good) isn't a tenth as good as the fantastic book.

I think it was a good example that you used though because Edmund Dantes treatment is the complete unjustice. He is locked in the worst prison in france and tortured yet he is an honourable, talented and decent man.

The point I am trying to make is that life is definately not fair and there are injustices all the time. I never ask the question 'Why God' when something happens bad happens to me becaause life isn't fair and God has nothing to do with it.

I have cluster headaches. I know this is silly as hell, but in the past when I've asked "Why me?" I sometimes answer myself that maybe it's my punishment while I'm still on Earth for all the bad things I've done, and maybe because I've suffered so much in life I can whiz straight past St. Peter without having to answer any questions when I get to the pearly gates.

I know it's ridiculous, but that thought helps me deal with my condition.

Hm, I see all these beautiful people around me, with their pretty eyes and fair skin and proportional features.

Then I look at the mirror and ask, "Why me?"

I used to play the flute. I was as dedicated to practicing and improving my playing as a nun is to praying. Music was my life and playing the flute was my way of expressing myself. I wouldn't have admitted this back then, but now I'm not so modest: I was talented. I had that spark of talent that you see in professional musicians and my sole goal in life was to become a professional flutist.

When I was sixteen I was accepted to an acclaimed school for the arts, and that's when it happened. Suddenly, every time I would try and play, my hands felt like someone was trying to rip them apart. I went to several doctors, went through physical therapy, and there was no change. Nobody could figure out what was wrong with my hands and I haven't played since.

It might be hard for some people to understand this, but when I realized I might never play again it felt like a part of my soul was ripped away from the whole. I spent a very long time going through life as if nothing mattered anymore. I tried composing music for a while and I was accepted into the same school as a composition major, but I knew that wasn't something I wanted to spend the rest of my life doing.

I have asked "why" dozens of times and I still don't have a completely clear answer. After thinking about it for hours on end, I have decided that maybe life has something more important for me to do and that's the idea that I've rolled with since coming to terms with this whole thing. I'm also thankful that this problem doesn't keep me from functioning normally and that I can still do normal things with my hands, though what I do is limited by how much pain it causes. I could have it much worse and I'm very thankful that I don't.

I can say that my life outlook has changed because of this. Now I accept the fact that things happen that you can't control and that you can either let those things keep you depressed and resentful, like I was for a couple of years, or you can learn to accept those things and move on.

That's normal. A few years back, I was a pianist and had just finished getting my music degree. Thanks to the onset of fibromyalgia, I lost that (and ended up disabled). It really *does* feel like part of your soul has been ripped out... among other things.

Every so often, I'll go through the self-pity stage but it doesn't happen as often as it did. I've finally realized that shit happens and you have to push through it with a positive attitude. Hopefully, you learn something from it and become a better person. Certainly better than turning bitter and mean.

I think this is a good answer. Sometimes you try your best and things just don't turn out. Maybe it's luck, maybe you deserved it, but either way, good or bad, make the best of it because everything that happens shapes who you are.

Bad things happen to good people all the time. Bad people get away with things too. There are people who will always be worse off than you are, just be grateful for the things you have. Whenever I say "why me" I'm usually half joking anyways, I know my life isn't that bad, sometimes I complain too much when I really shouldn't have anything to complain about. It's always something you tend to do naturally when you're in a bad situation. I guess it's the difference of being optimistic vs pessimistic. I've seen people dying of cancer with great attitudes, they don't question, they just live life to their fullest.

On a side note, the Count of Monte Cristo was a much better movie than I expected.

That sounds horrible and you both have my sympathy. Piano and music are an obsession of mine and I would be devastated if I could no longer pursue it.

Vivace is quite right about life... I've always believed in karma, and disappointment strikes me sometimes, when i see a bad preson still living a supposedly good man's life. I mean.. when will he be punished. For those who are born unfortunate.. its life, and it would be selfish to blame it on their past lives which would result to their present unfortunate life you know? Sometimes there is no reason for something bad happening, but that shouldnt stop you from making the best of it

A few things...

- My slightly-deformed chest. Where most men just have flat space, my upper chest is almost completely concave. I get people staring whenever I'm at the beach or the pool or even heading downstairs for a shower. It's something I've grown used to, I guess.
- My crippling anaphylaxis problem. I've described it elsewhere here, but it's like having a near-fatal allergic reaction without any kind of stimulus whatsoever.
- Bipolar. Asperger's.
- My life situation. I just want normal teen years like all my peers - Two parents whom I live with, head off to school every day and come home later, no school on saturdays, no two-hour church services on sundays, freedom to run around wherever I want, an oppurtunity to get a job, and so forth. None of this boarding school-homelessness shit.

I went to boarding school (with 'saturday school') as well, finished last year: I am now 19.

I found it pretty good in the later stages (sixth form) but the first two years when I was 11-12 were awful.

I've been here since I was eight.

Things are going alright right now, though.