Awkward things strangers have said to you
 

Today I was sitting at a bus stop when some weird white lady hobbled over and sits next to me.

Lady: You have beautiful hair!
Me: err thanks
Lady: Are you malaysian?
Me: ...no
Lady: What are you then?
Me: Im puerto rican and hatian
Lady: Oh....
Lady: .....
Lady: ..... you spanish people are everywhere now
Me: uh yeah
Lady: Your kind are fertile
Me: :eyebrow:
Lady: Do you have any kids yet? I bet you do.
Me: err no ;(
Lady: Theres lots of black people down in the south.... so much crime down there
Me: .... ;(
Lady: The spaniards are what you people come from right?
Me: *ignore* *ignore*
Lady: No wonder you people are everywhere...the spainiards have adventure blood.
Lady:....
Lady: ...do you have change for a dollar
Me: :gonk:


Bonus for best pick up line Ive ever heard, while walking my dog
Drunk guy stumbles out of a bar and says to me:
Id fuck both you bitches. :doggy:

While I lived in Manchester i'd occasionally wander past people who were mentally ill, though not deliberately of course. Some of them would be homeless and wandering the city. One time, a guy was just walking past me and suddenly raised his voice saying "Little Johnny fucks Mary!" or something like that. I think he had Tourettes' syndrome.

Hahaha "Adventure Blood"

Once, while waiting outside for a concert, a homeless guy who was also standing around there just started talking to me. He said something like "You here for the show?" and I'm all "Yep." He replied with "Awesome, well have fun and get laid for me!" And then he hugged me. Wierd wierd wierd, super wierd.

I don't seem to have any real akward moments though it was pretty strange when a customer asked me as I finished making her sandwhich, "Do you go to church?"

Me: No... but I'm baptized Lutheran if that counts for anything.
Lady: I'm going to get you a bible. What's your name?
Me: (This lady can't be serious... can she?) My name is 'X' (censored for privacy).
Lady: Ah, How do you spell that?
Me: *spells name*
Lady: It's a nice bible, it'll have your name on it.
Me: Thank you (I guess?).

Sure enough about two weeks later, there was a nicely gift-wrapped package for me containing cards with prayers, a study bible with my name on it and a 4 page later addressed to me about how wonderful it was to speak to me and how she hoped I would enjoy God's word (or something like that). I later learned this lady does this all around town and most people don't humor her. I honestly believe the "personalized" 4 page letter was premade and she only changed the name and where she had met said person... If not, that's a wee bit creepy.

The other day some angry road rageaholic called me an "ass blaster." I guess that's supposed to mean i'm gay. I'd never heard that one used before in that context, and i tend to laugh at things i find even slightly funny. It was all i could do to keep from bursting out laughing.......... well it was weird for me.

I was scanning some magazines when this american walked up to me:

Dude: Isn't it ironic?
Me: ?
Dude: English isn't the primary language in this country, and yet everything I see is in english.
Me: ?
Dude: So, I don't have to learn your language because you can understand me anyway!
Me: ?
Dude: *walks away laughing*
Me: sup /b/

I was in London travelling alone so I always had to get other people to take me pictures.

I asked this portuguese on his early 50's guy: "Sir could you please take a picture?" He didn't say anything but he gave me one of the most cold looks I've ever received in my life, as if I just were insulted him or his mother. To this day I cannot figure out what went wrong.

As awkward as it sounds, probably the strangest thing a stranger has said to me is my name. I was walking by and suddenly heard my first and last name, I turn around and I discover this humble looking girl of no more than 15 y/o, making an attempt to flirt with me.

Apparently I'm liked by this girl that sells fruit at street. By the time I did not know her I thought it was very creepy. However, she kept doing it everytime she saw me, giving me her femme fatale looks everytime she could. She has stopped by now, which is cool for me.

One of my classmates in my anatomy class actually said something odd to me today.

Him: I heard you Asians have great pelvic girdles. Perfect for giving birth.
Me: (smiles awkwardly)
Him: I want to marry an Asian so she can have my children.

I don't know why but this topic reminds me of that part in Dodgeball where Vince Vaughn is like yea, whatever crazy guy. Then Patches is like I'm not crazy, and I ain't a guy.

The first thing I can think of is when I walked into Wal-mart a few weeks ago. It was a particularly cloudy day, and just when I was approaching the entrance doors, some guy comes out, looks at me, then at the sky and screams "COME ON, SUN!!!!!" Like he's encouraging it and all it needs is a little coaxing to bring it out of hiding.
Yeah, like I'm going to acknowledge that embarrassing display. Next please.

Just the other day at the Big E (a large fair here in New England) I was walking with my family and some random black guy comes up, puts his hand on my shoulder, leans in and whispers "they're French, aren't they?" I imagine he must have heard me translating for my grandmother and a vendor.

But the sound of CONCERN in his voice was rather startling. I'll never understand.

God the Big E is the most depressing place on earth.

COME SEE WORLDS TINIEST HORSE
COME RIDE THE SAD ELEPHANT
LOOK...SHEEP!

Strange things happen to me all the time, although usually I'm on the giving end rather than receiving. For instance, yesterday my friends and I were all lying on the ground, using each other's bellies as pillows, forming a Belly Chain (as we called it). We asked passing people to come join us, and it started out really nice and endearing, but within ten minutes we were threatening them and calling them cowards.

One time I was driving along and a black man ran into the road, shirtless, swinging his shirt over his head in one hand and holding up his pants (which were unbuttoned and falling off) with the other hand. He was the most distressed black man I have ever seen.

I also have a bad memory, so I can never remember as many as I'd like. Let's see.

I worked as a dishwasher, and I'm about sixteen. A fellow employee, a fifty year old woman I hardly know, came up behind me one day, put her hand on my shoulder, and said, "You're gonna make a woman happy one day. . . with those dishwashing skills."
Luckily, the place burned down a month and a half later.

Unfortunately I'm not a minority, so I don't have any weird conversations concerning that. Unless I start them :P

Oh man... I remember I was drug tested (:tpg:) when I applied to work at Jostens and the nurse told me the one thing that qualifies as the strangest thing anyone has ever asked me.

"Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"

No... I'm not... Really...

Sadly enough, I think I skipped class the day they taught that and proper ass-wiping techniques in Life Science. This is the reason why you see me walking around with a colostomy bag and a catherer RIGHT NOW YOU DUMB TWAT.

Oh boy. Some years ago some pigs caught my cousin, a friend of him and me walking drunk on the streets doing some minor scandal (and by minor I mean it). Before entering the cell, each of us had a separated interview with the resident doctor.

The doctor asked my cousin what time it was. My cousin proceeds to check his watch and the doctor says: "Hey, don't look your watch!", my cousin's temper exploded: "WHY THE FUCK I'M NOT CHECKING MY WATCH, YOU'VE JUST ASKED ME THE HOUR!"

Of course, the doctor wanted to test how drunk we were, but didn't considered my cousin's cleverness.

I have super long super curly hair, and for some reason it is a rare thing because I always get looks and comments like 'you have such lovely
hair'

I was standing in line to a check out at a department store and felt a tug on my hair. Natually I had a fright and quickly turned around, I saw this little old lady, she smiled at me and said "I am sorry dear, I just wanted to see if it was real"

When leaving my campus, I bumped into someone on a crosswalk, and he proceeded to exclaim:

"Watch where you're going, Columbine. We've got Columbine right here! He's gon' shoot everybody."

I think I was wearing mostly black that day, but not, like, a trenchcoat or anything. Sheesh.

I get the odd comment from customers at work every now and then.

They especially like to comment on my weight. Once, I had a woman come up to me (she wasn't even buying anything) and asked if I was 'anoresis'. I just gave her a look that could kill. I also have people (mainly women) ask how I stay so thin. I also just give off a not-so-nice look.

Last month my cat tore my neck up and customers were being really nosy about it. One guy asked if it was a hickey. Yeah, several deep scratches = hickey. Wtf.

I was wearing my old school greatcoat (long, black) on the tube around eight months ago. Some girl who looked around a year younger than me started taking the piss (lol wearing black makes u a goth!!!) from halfway across the carriage with her friends, so, naturally I walked over there. They looked pretty rough (this was central London mind you), but I was a head above them, so they looked somewhat intimidated when I approached and gave them what I'm pretty sure must have been the most vicious deathstare I've ever given. They turned totally timid and awkwardly apologised. One of them then pretended to like my coat, and even had the nerve to ask for my number :tpg:

I also have awkward (but nice) conversations with the homeless street vendors in Canterbury on occasion. They tend to ask if I've been to Sheffield or Cardiff or x british place and that's just about it. I know a few of them by name now.

Thankfully no one has just grabbed my hair, but I've gotten random compliments for its appearance (Apparently really long, straight hair is amazing to some folks, esspecially when they learn I haven't cut it in years O_o ) I don't mind the compliments, it just gets wierd when they start to carry on about it... esspecially to their friends as I walk off.

Im 19 but i look like 16 and im kinda short but anyway, end of semseter and we are having this japanese class party. So im talking to this fatass and i tell him that im a boxer and he says "arent you too small to box lol?" (he actully said lol). It was the way he said it that made me think "should i smash your face in and you judge?". some people.

I remember being in a bar in Oquwka for quarter beer night. I thought it was nice to drink as much as I wanted at barely any cost, but I forgot I was in a town where all their is to do is drink, do drugs, and...

A lady sat down next to me at the bar, grabbed my hand, and said "Meet me at the boathouse."

...

I was a statue.

I downed the rest of my beer, left a $10 on the bar, and said "Sure. I'll see you in... The boat house... Sometime... Tonight..."

I got up, walked home, and watched some adult swim cartoons. Now I just have a distrust towards any boathouse in Oquawka.

I was on the train getting home from school and this guy walks all the way from the other end of the car, comes up to me and asks:

Stranger: Hey there... Do you happen to have any soap?
Me: No?
Stranger: UUUURRRGGGGGG... (scratches scalp profusely)
Me: Uhh... Are you okay?
Stranger: UUUUUUUAAAAAAAGGHHHH FUCK YOOOOUUUU WORLD!!

And he runs out of the train.

Happened to me just yesterday, this drunk turned around and faced me in a stairwall at the station:

Drunk: "EXCUSE ME!! What's the color of yellow?"
Me: "I guess that would be yellow, isn't it?"
Drunk: "You have the situation under control!"

I bet I made his day.