Jessykins' Writing Thread!!
 

Is back! Once more I bring to you my THREAD OF WRITING!

This time I am going to try and organize them by character, for ease of browsing. Updates will be bolded or something. Maybe a color. I dunno. Anyway, let's do this shit.

Too many dead links. Gonna have to fix this shit at some point.

Not bad. I read "The Dead Life". It was well written, albeit a quick ending. If you were going to pick your favorite, which would it be?

Well, it took a little bit but I read Business as Usual. The imagery is vivid indeed.
This is a gift.
http://www.studiomagi.com/images/apathy.jpg

I still love you Jessy :)

First off: Vemp, I love you too.

Second off: I really have trouble picking my FAVORITE story. If anything, it'd probably be one of my Lilael stories.

Third off: MAGI HOLY FUCKING CRAP. THAT'S AWESOME. MARRY ME.

I am editing the shit out of the main post to make it a bit easier to work with. Hopefully this will make people give a shit more.

As if!

Oh yeah, and this is the picture Magi did (It's from the end of Business as Usual):

http://www.ravenillusion.com/Leaveit.../Rueapathy.jpg

ALL YOU WORTHLESS PIECES OF DUNG! Read Jessy's work!

NOW!

I've written another Rue story. Fetch it here.

I read "The House at the End of the World" a day or so back and I liked it quite a bit. The imagery is (was?) quite vivid, and I also can't help but like stories like that.

I liked the ending too... for some reason.

I hate how you break so many rules of writing and yet the story works, the characters are believable and everything fits.

I've printed and edited "Just Another Job", "The Feeling is Mutual", "Nobody Knew", "The Stranger", and "The Dead Life", but this was on paper and I am too lazy to type it up.
But, really. It's not like you could learn anything from it. You write quite well.

I appreciate the compliment, but could you help me out here and tell me what rules I'm breaking?

Also, Schadenfreude, I'm glad you enjoyed that story. There was going to be a lot more to it, but I just can't seem to buckle down and do it. Mostly because I sort of forgot where I was going to end up with it. Whoops.

Just read Dead Life. Quite the laugh riot.

I am shamelessly bumping my thread in anticipation of a new story. If you see this, read my old shit.

Alright, punks. Added a second part to Guilty Conscience. You can find it in the main post, or if you're a lazy fuck, right here.

You cuss a lot in your writing.

I don't know about anybody else, but it makes your work seem very unprofessional.

I understand that cussing isn't directly correlative to intelligence. To cuss is simply ones own way of adequately expressing oneself. But your characters cuss so frequently that I can't help but feel like they're overly dramatizing the moment.

But don't take me wrong. Your writing works, for the most part, and your characters, I'm sure, are very real in many aspects. I just feel like the frequent cursing is often times unnecessary.

Your feelings are noted, however, I disagree. I'd also like to point out that the way you present your opinions comes off as very condescending, and I don't appreciate it. Either way, thanks for even bothering to read something at all.

I'm a first time reader, and I just read Lileal Snow: The Feeling Is Mutual.

The first thing is, I really really like your work. I really dug the character development and emotional expressions. It really makes me want to read more.

I do have to criticize about the ending. It sounded a little rushed. I kinda wished for something a little more twisted, but I'll always recognize my place as the reader, not the writer.

If you are ever in the Chicagoland area, I'll give you directions to the Heartland. It's probably the most popular hangout for up-and-coming writers in Chi-town.

Edit:

Never listen to this. Of course, that is coming from a big fan of Bukowski. Colorful language can be a form of art when used in context.

And here I thought I was the only on! Bukowski, I'll admit, has influenced me in a few ways (dialogue included), because he's exactly the type of person many of these characters is. Just angry and stuck in a shitty situation.

Also, yeah, the ending to the Feeling is Mutual doesn't really please me either, heh. I think I sort of ran out of steam and just wanted to get it over with.

Jessy, you really have to check out "Bukowski: Born Into This". It is a real, unbiased documentary on Henry Charles Bukowski Jr.. It's brutally sad to hear about his life, but at the same time he really opens up to the grief and saddness that explains a lot about him. I also loved a specific interview where the interviewer perceives the lead character in "Women" as a male chauvinist pig, and Bukowski says "What?! You didn't see the grief conveyed when he was torn between the love of two different women?! Who do you think I am?" Absolute gold. That is also the short version of what he said.

I actually just saw it for the first time a few days ago, and now I gotta tell everybody to see it.

http://www.dvdplanet.com/details.cfm?info=MNO010006

I've actually heard of and wanted to see that a lot. Not too long ago I'd downloaded a cassette-ripped copy of him reading a bunch of his poems/stories, and it was incredible to me to hear how tired and just beat down he'd sounded. I mean, reading the stuff is one thing, but when read by him it was something else.

I'll definitely look into watching that documentary.

JESSY!

Shit, I must say... I love your last story. Loved it so much that I'm gonna do a drawing dedicated to this story, sort of a cover page thing. Man, and you say you don't know anything about writing!

Did I say that?

Either way, awesome. I love fanart!

Well you inspired me to start writing up something. So I guess that is a good thing. :P

I'm glad to hear that. I've never thought of my stuff as "inspiring", so I'm flattered.. I guess?

Hey Jessykins, gotta say it takes balls to put your works out here. Seems like people are enjoying them though, and that says something.

But as someone who calls himself a writer as well, I gotta say one thing about your original post: you HAVE to re-read your stuff! Not only re-read it but re-write it, and then re-write it again. This is my biggest flaw as a writer and is something I'm trying to work on as well, but the thing is a story is never right the first time. So you just gotta keep working at it until it's as good as it's going to get, and even then it shouldn't be good enough. But then again, what the hell do I know, I'm just some dude on the internet.

Anyways, I've read a few of these, and the one I was most interested in was The Feeling is Mutual. Your discription, dialouge, characters are all fine, and I really liked the position Lilael was in at the beginning (situation-wise, not sexually). It's just a nice, curious juxtipostion.

What I had a problem with was that I needed to see more of a connection between Lilael's self-loathing and her actions. I understand that she was taking the fucking so she wouldn't be alone, but why would it lead her to murder? Was it aggressive or dispassionate action? And, though I understand that she hates herself, I don't understand why. It can't be because she keeps comming back to the redhead to get fucked, cause that's something she does to fuel her self-hatred. I just really want to know the origin of the self-hatred and, probably more importantly, why she wants to hate herself so bad. I mean, she's doing this to herself, right? She doesn't have to keep going back to the redhead - she could just leave. So why is this not the only time she's done this? And why won't it be, as I was lead to believe, the last time? (last time with the redhead, I hope, but not the last time period...)

I just feel like your so close to writing that one line that's going to make me change my mind about some small thing.

I'm sure none of this has been helpful, but, well, there it is anyways.