Religon in Dating
 

So I was talking to a friend today and she told me that she'd never date anyone that doesn't have the same religon/religous beliefs so this led me to wonder.

Would you or would you not date someone that has the same religous beliefs? does it not matter to you?

Me, personally, don't see the big deal. As long as its not one of those, as soon as we become serious you must believe in everything I do. I acknowledge there being a higher power(s) but I don't believe in the whole "if you don't do this you will die" type of stuff.

And don't turn this into a religous war. If you plan on doing that, don't. No one wants to hear it nor read it.

What the poll means
Would you date outside your religon?

Yes--
No--
Don't Care --

My cousin was suppose to come to United States for a visit this year, because his mom (my aunt) find his girlfriend to be unacceptable. Reason being? His girl friend was a none-Christian. There was talk that my cousin was suppose to come here just so that he could get away from her for a while.

Sometimes religion isn't the direct cause of problem within relationship, but what your friends, family, or parents has a preference. This might go the same also to ethnicity, language and nationality. However, it is pretty ridiculous situation in my cousins's case in my opinion. Although I think it all depending on how big a role that you want religion to play in your life, and the type of experience you want with the person that you spend time with.

This is actually a big part of my dating criteria, religion. I'm agnostic, at most Buddhist so it's a huge part that the guy has to go along the same lines as me. That's why I usually find it easier to date within my race and guys whose parents share the same background as my parents. That usually means religion-wise, they were raised roughly the same as me (no religion but some Buddhist undertones).

I guess if you want to say, religion is a big dealbreaker for me. A year or two ago I was going somewhere with a guy I met but when I found out he was a Christian, that pretty much ended it right then and there.

Let's say a bit about history. In the past, race X only marrys race X, but now it's a mix of races. So, I think those who thinks different religions cannot marry IMO have an older mindset. Not trying to be a racist, but I think I will only marry someone of my race, because of culture. In my opinion, marriage is not only affect two person. It's kind of fustrating if in-laws arguring because of cultures and religions.
Example in Singapore. The three majority races are Chinese, Indians and malay. Majority religions are Buddhist, Taoist, christians, muslims and some others. Imagine a Buddhist and a muslim married, they had different lifestyles and it's a little hard for them to live with each other.
Imagine this. A Hindu Indian marries a malay muslims .Hindus cannot eat beef while muslims cannot eat pork. If you are the Hindu husband/wife, you will surely not be happy if your muslim husband/wife eats beef after marriage and vice versa. And even if both argee not to eat beef AND pork. What about their relatives. Going to another relative house and see beef/pork canned food or in plates is a little unsuitable.
What about the religion of those couples after marriage? If one agrees to convert, their relatives/parents might not accept. And there are a lot of problems.
So, IMO, those people who thinks different races and different religions cannot marry each other are those with a little bit of traditional minded.
And this isn't the first time I heard about people breaking up because of religions matters.

Edit: Sorry. This thread is on dating, I went to talk about marriage.

oops, I accidentally voted 'no' ^_^;;... my bad

any-hoo, interesting this has been brought up... the relationship I'm in now is strangely contradictary when it comes to religion

My girlfriend is a non-denominational christian and I am an agnostic (starting to lean towards Paganism). I doubt her family would be very happy with my religious beliefs (or lack there-of) so we haven't brought it up just yet, but both of us are very supporting of each other's faith.

I would definitely date someone of the same religion as I am. I married someone of a different religion and it was hell for awhile. He constantly battled me about my beliefs and things. It was horrible. I never want to go through that again.

If you think it's tricky when you're dating, imagine how difficult it would be once you get married and have children. I'm not saying it couldn't work out, but I would imagine that if one person was Christian and the other Jewish or Buddhist or even Agnostic or Athiest, it would be a constant sticking point within the relationship, what with trying to come to an agreement on how to raise the children, whether or not to observe certain religious holidays, etc. I also think it would be very confusing for the children if mommy insisted on going to church, reading the bible, praying, etc. and daddy was always rolling his eyes or having nothing to do with it.

As far as my personal opinion goes, I am very traditional in that I believe the man should be the spiritual leader of his family.

Fuck that noise, man.

I could never, never date someone who has a hardon for their religion, whatever that may be. I ignore the whole lot of religion - I want it no where near my kids, my family - nothing. I expect my man to be equally as oblivious to the whole thing. In fact, its manditory. I won't humor a person who allows religion to run their life.

Thats not to say we cant DISCUSS religion. I'm all about having interesting conversations - I just don't want some boogey man making any of my life decisions for me.

I would want someone similiar to myself, naturally.

So what you're saying is that you absolutely refuse to be in a relationship with a religious person. Therefore, you should have voted "yes" (I think).

I was under the impression that a "no" meant that religion didn't factor into the relationship at all.

But I could be wrong.

I know this girl. Sweet girl - a touch too into herself and looking good around guys - but she is a sweetheart. However, she comes from a pretty stringent Muslim upbringing - she skipped high school in the US to go to the Middle East and get "brain washed" (her words).

Now shes this fucking horrible cocktease to any guy thats into her but she won't bring them home or tell her parents because they're not Muslim. Now, I've never been into her but I can see why a guy would want to hit it. However, someone who's that strict about her religion needs to get the fuck out of America - not because she's Muslim but because she's intolerant of other people's religions/races if she's willing to tease but not date.

First of all, this depends on what kind of dater you are: if you're just dating to have fun and have no long-term thoughts about the future, then hell no it doesn't matter.

However, if you are thinking long-term, then to me it is NOT important that the other person has PRECISELY the same religious beliefs, however it IS important that the other person truly has a lot of respect for your beliefs. As my girlfriend says, "the person can be in a different religion, but if that religion dictates that I'm going to hell because I'm not in it, well... that's just fucked up."

Lately I pretty much make it rule to not date Christians. It’s not so much the religion that turns me off than it is the idea that usually a typical Christian women – that I come across at least – is so fundamentally different from me that there’s no point in trying to relate to them anyway. I was open minded before. Tried it couple of times. Usually somewhere along the road it’s going to boil down to them looking down on me because I don’t follow their traditions and other bullshit versions of thinking. I get pissed, call out their blatant closed mindedness and sometimes outright stupidity. They get offended, shit goes to hell from there.

I don’t have much experience dating anybody who’s religious outside of Christianity. Expect for one girl who was wiccan. She rocked. So essentially, I guess if as long as they’re open minded I don’t care what religion they practice.

It was very unclear. I thought it meant "Do you want religion in your relationship?"

If someone wants to change my vote for me, I would appreciate it. =/

Yeah...I think I screwed up on the Poll..it is supposed to be

Yes -- Same Religon
No -- Do not want to date same religion or something
And dont care is well..don't care.

okay, after thinking about it again I now remember what the poll is

Would you date outside your religon if you have one.

Yes -- Yes
No -- No
Don't Care -- Don't Care.

I mistakenly voted "no" as well, for the same reason. I'd post a detailed summary of my thoughts, but to be honest, it would be just a cut-and-paste of your post above, with all gender-references reversed.

Hell yeah I would date out of my religion. It doesn't mean that much to me, and there aren't enough good looking jewish girls, anyway.

Are you a devout Jew? What if you end up marrying a Christian and you have children? Would you pitch a big fit about celebrating Christmas? What effect do you think it would have on your children that you disbelieve in the very core fundamentals of their mother's religion? What if she cooked shrimp on Friday or whatever (I'm not all that familiar with kosher regulations, sorry). Would that be a problem?

I'd rather not date outside my religion, 'cos I think lots of issues might crop up along the way and I'm not about to change my beliefs or anything and if someone tried to impose their religion on me I'd probably end up fighting back, so I would rather date someone who shares my beliefs or who can accept whatever beliefs I have.

I'd prefer to find an atheist, but chicks are more prone to being religious than guys, and I'm in the South, so I've got slim pickins.

I wouldn't continue to stay with a chick who thought she could convert me, but if they can show my beliefs respect (by not constantly questioning them), I can respect theirs.

Doesn't matter to me. I'm not religious, so if my significant other is a little religous it'd be okay. Technically I have no religion so everytime I do date someone I'm dating outside my religion.

Just as long as she isn't trying to convert me, or isn't trying to exterminate the Jews or something. I can't see any real problems. I'm open-minded enough to respect another person's religious practices.

You should've tried to convince him that Jesus was a Buddhist. There's a whole philosophy that goes on to describe the connections in Christianity with that of Buddhism (at least, as far as some of the things Jesus supposedly said). And as far as I know, most Buddhists are OK with the idea that Jesus was a Buddha :)

I agree. I've found that the South is a poor place to look for mates period, let alone ones smart open-minded enough to see things the way they are I do.

No, I'm not a devout Jew and I don't keep Kosher (except for Passover.) I wouldn't marry a hardcore gentile, either. My parents (my dad mostly) would be the one pitching a fit if I married someone out of the religion.

Maybe in the past it didn't matter for me, but now, if she's not a Christian, it's not going anywhere (I'm engaged so I guess it's moot anyway).