Dealbreakers
 

I guess most of you will remember the dealbreakers thread from about a year ago. I decided since we lost everything and it had been a while anyway, I'd start the thread again.

In this thread, discuss the things that are absolute dealbreakers for you in a relationship. For those of you who don't know what I mean, a "dealbreaker" is something that a person does (usually in the very beginning of a relationship, but not always) that causes you to break it off with them for good.

I'll post mine later, but an example would be you're out on a first or second date with someone and you catch them picking their nose and are so horrified that you never go out with them again. Or it could be something less obvious, but still something you just can't handle, like finding out that someone is extremely rude to servers.

What are your dealbreakers?

I don't like girls that don't smile. Girls with a long face all the time is a no-go.

Put simply, ADD affliction is a terribly negative trait; one which I cannot stand.
If a gal says she cannot read books because she just can't pay any attention to them, or they are too big, or whatever, then I figure I have no business messing with her.
This of course excludes a lot of girls. But hey, that is a good thing. At least I don't have to worry nearly as much about all of my "options."

I like to keep things loose and act sort of silly a lot of the time, so a girl who doesn't "get" that or isn't receptive to that is pretty much not worth the effort since I wouldn't really get to be myself around her without her thinking I'm retarded or something. So not "getting" my humour would be a dealbreaker. Most girls I've met enjoy it though, so I'm alright.

Aviator sunglasses. I mean, like, HELLO??

When a guy sticks to me like velcro and calls me 6 times during a 24-hour period. It's awfully hard to get things done when your phone is ringing off the hook because the guy has too much time on his hands.

Girls who suffer from the "hedgehog syndrome" are a turn off for me. Whenever you say something that seems to violate their personal space, the spines shoot out and they start barkin`. I usually joke around a lot so I get a lot of people getting offended by me for whatever reason because they think that I`m being serious. I`ve noticed that the people who take it "the wrong way" are usually people who didn`t like me much in the first place, so why bother? If they don`t get my humour, then screw `em. Life`s too short to waste on people who take themselves too seriously. Everyone who has a even a little sense of self-distance will know that I don`t mean any harm with my jokes. Hey, they might even think it`s funny, laugh, and make a similar joke about me.

To sum it all up; I`m not very fond of people who get offended easily. Dealbreaker #1.

Edit:

Adding hairy legs and armpits as dealbreakers in the event that the girl refuses to shave them. Dealbreaker #2.

Adding girls who call themselves "feminists" when they really just want to subdue all men on the planet for "what we've done against them in the past". Plastic feminists.. *urgh* Dealbreaker #3.

Adding really, really bad breath. Dealbreaker #4.

Adding big hands and feet. Dealbreaker #5.

A woman with no life of her own. Any girlfriend of mine needs her own network of friends to have a good time with. I'm not always going to be around to be the life of someone else's party and/or daily life. Girls who seem to sulk when I'm not present and then expect for me to single handedly make up for their entire day's worth of self pity are a bore. I can take some responsibility for her emotional well being, but not all.

A woman with no aspirations. If my girlfriend isn't going somewhere with her life academically or professionally, I just won't deal with them. Not for very long, at least. I don't want a woman to become financially dependent on me in the long run. I want her to have options so that I have options if push comes to shove. I've seen too many married couples (to include my own parents) stay together for the sole reason of survival.

This reminds me of a poem by Maynard James Keenan.

If she presses charges and tries to get a restraining order after the first date.

Because then I'm legally committed under the threat of the law to never see her again!

:p

Inability to get an erection, I guess.

I haven't dated at all, (>_>) so my scope of dealbreaking is kinda small.

But, if I were to date, I wouldn't be able to handle a guy who:

Is overly clingy
Doesn't understand my need to practise. (I guess one way to solve that is to date a musician. lol)
Is rude.
Thinks he's funny, but isn't.
Doesn't like to read.
And.. is overly religious.

OK, the last time I posted my dealbreakers I got in big trouble, but here goes:

- Having no self-confidence...biggest turn-off ever. That's even worse than being stupid, IMO, which brings me to the next item:
- Stupidity. I could never go out with anyone who wasn't intelligent. (When my husband and I first started dating, I wasn't all that attracted to his looks, but he was so smart. <3)
- Smokers. I can't kiss a smoker.
- Cursing a lot. You just don't do that around a lady - call me old-fashioned.
- Bad skin and/or teeth. I'm not extremely picky about looks as long as a guy is comfortable in his own skin, but I draw the line there.
- Rudeness to servers - that says a lot about a person.
- Being dirty. If a guy's hair is greasy or he has long, dirty fingernails, I lose all respect.
- Poor grammar. I don't care if your IQ is 155. If you can't speak properly, don't bother.
- Excessive drinking. Seriously, what kind of guy gets drunk on the first or second date?
- Aviator glasses

Keep in mind that my dealbreakers only apply to brand new relationships. Some of these things (like being dirty) are inevitable. But on a first or second date? Nope.

My deal breaker? Alice. Seriously. Just Alice. Personality-wise, we would never ever mesh. But this is hardly a new revelation. However, the people I don't get along with are people who make lists of "deal breakers" and include stuff like aviator glasses. OMG SENSE OF FASHION, HORRIBLE. However, if my girlfriend looks half as good as her at, what are you now Alice, 50? I'd be happy.

Shut up, Deni. If I liked big, hairy rude guys and you liked uptight old chicks the planets would align and the world would forever live in harmony. Can't we just get along?

But seriously, I have this thing about aviator glasses.

P.S. I'm not 50. ;_;

Girls who don't laugh and just say "That's so funny!" instead. Man.

P.S. I know. Therein lies the joke. :poke:

No, we can't just get along, because the planets would align and everyone would live in harmony. Then what would I do for fun?

Confidence, intelligence and cleanliness all seem like pretty universal must-haves to me. A good attitude (as vague as that is) is another must-have. I mean, who wants to go out with an asshole?

Disproportional build. Ugh. I saw this chick the other day and she was probably 3 feet wide at her shoulders and a foot wide at the hips. NO.

Horse faces. Call me superficial, but I've seen some gorilla-lookin' bitches that I wouldn't touch (let alone fuck) to save humanity.

Hairy women are just no-noes. I mean, c'mon.

Excessive laughing. I'm not dating 12-year-olds (I hope), so don't act like one.

I'm fairly laid back about these things but if someone was incredibly stupid, or had no drive or determination to make something of herself, i'd quickly lose interest. Additionally, if she was rude or callous towards others, that'd piss me off too.

For lack of a better word, I'll use the crude one, posers. The guys who like to act like they're tough and hardcore and all this jazz when they really are not. I, frankly, find it hilarious, kind of self depreciating and a bit patethic. I'd rather someone be a bit awkward and gawky but genuine and sincerely themselves, I find a lot more attractive.

Also guys who don't work hard. If you're complaining about school all the time and not doing your homework and talking that the professor has it out for you and your manager at work, it shows me you're not a real go getter and just like to complain when things don't go you way. Stop bitching and start doing something, it's frustrating when men act this way.

Otherwise if they are themselves and genuine, no amount of nose picking would bother me. Well, maybe a little. And sweaty hands. And messy eating. Otherwise, everything is peachy.

Why? The better you know what you don't want (even if it's arbitrary stuff like aviator glasses (which are great, by the by, but I guess I already went over that in the previous thread)), the more likely you are to get exactly what you do want. High personal standards are nothing to be ashamed of.

The lack of a sense of humour and intelligence are big no on's for me. Also Being uptight and or easily offended as I tend to piss those sorts of people off within 5 minutes and I can't really stand them either. Converty religous types are bad too but people can be whatever as long as they don't badger me and everyone else about it.

They can get a little naive though.

And uh, "the pickier you are, the more likely you are to get what you want" is startlingly naive.

Well, being naive is working out pretty well for me, so I won't argue with that.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with knowing what you like and dislike in a mate. Also, there's not a lot you can do about it if you don't like certain traits. Sure, you can try to supress your preferences and hope for the best, or you can just spend the extra time finding someone you don't have to work your ass off to like, which is (I believe) a better option.

If you happen to be pickier than most, well that's your problem. You'll just have to be happy with the fact that it's probably going to take you longer than most to find your ideal mate.

EDIT: I really didn't want to turn this thread into a debate of whether dealbreakers should exist. It's a thread where you LIST your dealbreakers. And if you don't have any, then you're a pathetically desperate loser with no standards who will take anyone he can get.

Uh, threads that consist of nothing more than lists are consider spam, so... are you sure?

I'm not saying you shouldn't have standards, but if your "must have" list is 100 entries long, then you're in for some disappointment. I live with a guy who can't be satisfied by anyone he meets. He's single and in his mid-30s and he can't stop saying how much he should have stayed with this girl he was engaged to 10 years ago who he broke up with because at the time he didn't know what he wanted.

There is no working relationship without compromise. And yeah, I guess if you're picky it is your problem. But it goes without saying that people would do well to learn to tolerate others as much as possible, whether you're speaking of romantic relationships or otherwise.