Question for the girls
 

I'm wondering, if a guy you don't know comes up to you and asks for a date/phone number, are you disturbed or annoyed by this? Also, considering you are single and you're physically attracted to the guy, would you ever consider his request?

I'm just wondering, since it seems like so many girls are afraid to go on a date with a guy they've never met ... but isn't that the point of a date? To get to know each other?

Hey, Smoodle. I think I can answer your questions, however, don't loop me in with the rest of the girls, OK?

Yes, I get annoyed when dudes ask me for my phone number/do you have a man/can I take you out. The reason why is mainly the type of guys it is. It's usually guys I see "shopping around" for other girls and sometimes they're the same ones that talk bad about other women. I also get hit on by older pieces of crap that have no business asking anybody out. I haven't seen a decent one guy step to me yet (not like I want one to...), but that's a long story.

I think a lot of other girls are afraid to go on dates with guys they've never met is because they don't want to appear like they're easy or something...at least, that's what I hear one of my ex-friends say. I don't date because I don't want to right now and I'm too busy.

I'd say that just walking up to a girl and asking for her number is completely bizarre, yea. You don't even know who she is. Maybe you should attempt a conversation before you go asking for girls' numbers based just on whatever you see in passing.

Strike up a conversation before you ask for a number, guys. =/

Amen, Sassumomo!

If a random hot guy came up to me asking for my phone number, I would say I would like get to know him first, like go to a gathering with him or something. If we develop trust, then I would give my phone number, but not without getting his first.

Whoa, don't accuse me. I've never done that. I'm just asking a question.

Double Post:
Ok, so let me ask you this: You say you've never had a decent guy ask yet, but how do you know this if you don't know him? How do you judge these guys at first? I'm guessing most of them come off as very cocky, am I right?

Striking up a conversation and winning her over with your charm and wit is much better because even goofy awkward attempts at charm are more appealing than someone cocky enough to think you'd give him your number with a single "Hey, how's it going" or some shitty variation of. Because yes, it is insanely bizarre and really has a 0% chance of success no matter what you look like. And that awkward pause between the asking and the rejecting is not the girl considering your gracious offer, but thinking how the fuck is she going to get away from you.

I've got to ask (not claiming you've done this before) but what is the catalyst for a man to approach a woman. Is it because she looks easy? You actually think you have a chance? She's so overwhelmingly attractive that you just got to ask? Because please don't tell me you men think it's actually going to work.

Yes it can.

If the guy is good at it, which most guys aren’t, he will make it appear natural and spontaneous, even though its not. Females get turned off when they think the approach is premeditated because they associate this with objectification. The key is to not let the female know, in any manner, that it's indeed premeditated. As a male, you can avoid this by making the approach appear as though it happened naturally. One of the best ways too do this is to somehow work in some event that just happened in the environment into your approach and strike mostly non-sex related small talk from there. If the small talk goes well, you comment on (note that I said comment and not “ask” this is important) continuing the conversation. Most people are generally followers by nature. Assuming that the guy can even get this far at this point, even if the female is skeptical about the guy, she probably still will follow the lead and give her number to the guy. This isn't to say he'll ever get anywhere further than this. But, pulling numbers isn't that hard, even for average looking men.

Oh and the catalyst for approaching a women, in this manner at least, is based on how pyshically attracted you are to her. Logical, assuming that you can't really know anything else about a stranger besides what they look like.

And, to the thread maker, you wouldn't happen to be asking this because you're concerned about whether or not you'll irritate some females if you approached them somehow are you? If so, trust me on this, just don't care about whether or not they get irritated. That might sound cold to some. But if a girl is so stuck on herself that she considers someone just trying to talk to her to be below her, she probably deserves to be irritated.

So there's the whole thing about a guy trying to get a girl's number.

But what about a girl trying to get a guy's number?
Same random situtations.

This is gonna be a false situation, but I saw it in an ad.
It's an ad for women's deoderant, but jus bear with me lol.

This chick sees a guy on a phone and is immediately attracted to him.
Guy is occupied but notices her too.
She ducks into the nearby passport photo booth, and takes some photos, then walks out, without taking them.
The guy grabs the photos, and sees that the girl took pics of the hand actions telling him to ring her, followed by her number written on her hand.

Guy realises this, hangs up on friend, and rings the girl.
Ad ends, and we are all to assume that they are going to meet up later.

The name of the deoderant? Impulse.
The point of the ad? Be Impulsive.


So girls. Ever done this sort of thing?

Better yet...ever had a deoderant that made you act differently? XD:tpg:

I don't think it matters if the guy looks like Brad Pitt or that gangly kid Brad you used to go to highschool with. if anybody I don't know just comes up to me and asks for my number, I'm not going to give it to them. there are the obvious reasons of who the hell are you, but more so the fact that they can't be asking for any reason other than purely shallow ones because they don't know anything about you either.

the whole action just makes everything so awkward. I don't enjoy being mean to people, so I generally just try to say no and get rid of them in the nicest way possible.

an even more awkward situation is when someone you actually know, from say school or work, who you really don't want to give your number to asks. ;_;

thankfully, none of the above happens very often.

I agree whole-heartedly. When it's personal, it tends to be more awkward. Not that I think it's a good thing if you ask for the number of a complete stranger. That's not only shallow and selfish, it's naive. For all you know, they might be already taken or, worst-case scenario, married.
They might also just think you're a creep, which is most likely true if you would go so low as to do something like ask someone out whom you haven't even had a single conversation with.

Easy? No (not in my case, anyway). I'd say it would be because of physical attraction. It's not like the guy's asking for sex ... only a phone number or a date.

Double Post:
Actually, I'm just wondering what goes on in girls' minds when things like this happen. I know if a cute girl asked me for my phone number, and she seemed nice enough, I'd be flattered as hell!

On the rare occasion that a guy has had the absolute cojones to just walk up to me and ask me for my phone number, I can tell you it has never worked out well for that poor guy.

If you're going to just walk up to a girl and ask her for her phone number, you might as well just walk right up, stick out your hand and say, "Hello. I'm a shallow motherfucker who makes a habit of asking girls out just because I think they're hot. Nothing you say at this point will make me like you any more or less. In fact, I don't give a crap about you or your personality. You're just hot."

Don't misunderstand me. I wouldn't want anything to do with a guy who didn't think I was beautiful. But just walking right up to a girl and asking for her phone number SOLELY because of how she looks is just creepy as hell.

I claim movie and book rights.

^ Isn't the point of a phone number so you can talk and get to know the person? Alice N Wonderland just makes it easier on the guy, actually. Guys really hate obnoxiously self-important girls, so what's the point in getting to know them?

Yea.. What the fuck is that about? On the couple occasions I have went up to a girl I didn't know and asked her for her number, 30% of the time she'd fork over the digits and not call while 70% of the time she'd laugh and walk away. I always thought doing that atleast showed you had enough self-confidence to handle yourself, let alone a potential mate. However, as soon as someone unknown approaches a girl, they're all "OMG STALKER!!!!".

What's up with that? :eyebrow:

Here's what I want. I want a guy who spends five minutes talking to me and says to himself, "Hey, this girl is interesting." Or smart. Or funny. Whatever.

If the reason he found out that I was any of those things was because he only talked to me in the first place because he thinks I'm hot, I wouldn't be offended (although ideally he would keep that info to himself). But I'm sick to death of guys who don't give a crap about anything these silly bitches have to say, as long as they have long blonde hair, big tits and weigh under 120 pounds.

Where you ever got the idea that I don't want to be seen as beautiful, I have no idea. But I get extremely offended by men who don't care about me, what I like and dislike, what I think about things, or about anything I have to say. I can tell you with 100% certainty that no one would EVER get anywhere with me if all they cared about was my looks. Women don't stay young and beautiful forever, and men who only care about things like that aren't worth anyone's time.

99% of of the time I wear jeans and a t-shirt, so he'll need to ask someone else.

Ewwww, she thinks she can judge a man's personality within the 2 seconds it takes for him to muster up the courage and ask for her number! What a creep!!!

Probably because she doesn't want her entire torso to be consumed by pubic hair by the time she turns 40.

You can't judge anyone's personality within 2 seconds, so what kind of dipshit guy would think he could see a girl from across a room and know that she's worth asking out JUST BECAUSE SHE'S HOT. That's my whole point. It's ridiculous. Don't ask for a girl's number unless you've at least had a conversation with her.

Yeah, Alice, you're making yourself out to be quite a prude. =/
Courting a specific audience, then bitching about it is what I've gathered. If you don't want a guy to hit on you, then why bother even looking presentable when you go out? Why even keep up appearances if you dislike people's responses?

What the hell are you so afraid of?
They're not actually judging in most cases, but instead are inclined to take a chance in meeting you and or asking you out. Remove the stick from your vagina please.

Devo, you seem to have missed the part where I said that I DEFINITELY want my man to think I'm beautiful. I just don't want that to be the deciding factor. Every single time a guy has just walked right up to me without knowing the first thing about me and asked me out, my creep alarm has gone off.

HOWEVER, if I know a guy is interested in me because of me - not because he think's I'm bangable, then of course I want him to think I'm beautiful.

I like to look pretty, but NOT so that creepy guys will just prance up to me and ask me for my phone number.

Can't find a man that is of your liking? Just go lesbian already. I'm sure there are a bunch of women who feel the same way as you and chose the same path.

Good grief.

No. How dare he ASK ME OUT based solely on my looks.

Double Post:

P.S. I'm married - I'm just saying, is all.

Physical attraction is one important aspect of a relationship between a man and a woman.

Are you even that attractive? lol
And why must every thread you post in turn into some kind of holier than thou feminist attack on earth?

hahaha
 

There.

Well, like I said - I have no problem with a guy talking to me IN ORDER TO GET TO KNOW ME BETTER because of my looks. I just never liked it when a guy was so consumed with that, that he asked me out before even trying to talk to me to see if we even clicked.

I approach ugly people because I know they have no self esteem. Am I biased yet?

Actually, no. But not being drop-dead gorgeous doesn't stop certain guys from being completely focused on my looks. Everyone has a "type," I guess.

Asking for a phone number is the same thing as asking someone out? When the fuck did this happen?

Double Post:
Ah, now I understand.

Did I mention that I enjoy the company of fat hairy men?
Seriously don't judge the way people try to court others. If you don't like it, deal with it yourself, stop bitching about it on the internet. :juggler:

Hey, I didn't create the thread. I was just answering the question.

Smoodle, what do you understand? I didn't say I was hideous, just that I'm not the most beautiful creature to ever walk planet Earth. I've been hit on enough by creepy guys, trust me. =/

I was responding to Benjamin.

It's my understanding that lots of girls do this.. But I'm trying to figure out the logic behind this.

My point is that it's veeery easy to label a dude as a testerone-filled, pussymongering, sexually driven manwhore. Even though it's a safe assumption to make, it isn't exactly fair for those who may approach a girl with genuine intentions.

Would it make more sense to say this-

"Hey. Ya know, you seem like a very nice girl and it'd be awesome if I got your number. Maybe we could chat for a little, or grab a bite to eat."

OR

"Hey. I saw you from around the way and I just couldn't resist coming up to your and asking for your hand in marraige. From what I can tell, you are everything I want in a woman and I'd like to start a family with you, have 7 kids, and be buried in matching plots when we grow old together and die."

Apparently, in both cases you're labeled a creep.

:juggler:

I like Alice's personality. May I have your phone number?

You know what, Plarom? I wouldn't have a problem with your first line at all, provided we had at least had a semblance of a conversation first. It's actually kind of nice.

But that's completely different than just strolling up and saying, "Hey you, can I have your phone number?"

Both Alice and Devo make good points.

This post by Devo makes sense to me:

Do people expect different things out of dates?

Yeah, it actually made sense to me too. =/

I just don't like the idea of someone just totally walking up and asking me for my phone number. It's just creepy. I can't believe any woman is arguing that.

Exactly. But, thankfully not all girls are like that. You don't want the girl who thinks of you as a creep, anyway.

OK, Smoodle. Look at it like this: You are actually able to pull off walking up to a completely unknown girl and getting her phone number without having any sort of conversation with her first. You two hit it off and you start dating. Wouldn't it always be in the back of your mind how easy it was for you to get her number? Doesn't anyone value a girl who is a little more discerning? It would worry me to think that I was going out with a girl who was so easily "procured".

Why? And no. Life's too short to worry about shit like that.

I'd say they're doing it for themselves, as a sense of security ... but everyone's different.

I'd agree that at least an initial casual conversation goes a long way. As a guy, you should at least see how a girl carries herself before you go ahead and ask for a date/number -- no matter how physically attractive she is. At least know a little bit about her.

What the hell, Devo? Isn't that exactly what I just said?

What. The. Fuck.

I said the exact same thing you said, woman. All I said was that a guy should talk to a girl first before asking for her phone number, which is exactly what you said, and you flipped out.

P.S. I wear very little makeup and NEVER dress like a ho.

True, that's why I'm trying to figure out the differences between those who would consider me a creep vs. those who wouldn't. The line between the two is almost impossible to discern.

Likewise. That would be pretty awkward for me since, as you said before, there has to be some sort of preliminary conversation if you're seriously considering dating. That would leave maaany questions unanswered, and you may be getting into something that's well over your head.

YES. What you say about women being attention whores is pretty accurate. Furthermore, I think women who turn down men feed off that just as much as they do the attention they received. As if it's empowering to get a man all worked up and lift his confidence, only to dash all his hopes and belittle him as a person.

I don't know why the government is investing all this money in rebuilding the levee system in New Orleans. Next time a hurricane comes through, they just need to have you spread your legs at the mouth of the Mississippi and everyone will be spared.

To me, the procuring is just the initiation. If she goes with what I have to offer at first contact, and we hit it off and have a long-lasting relationship, I couldn't care less about why she was so "easily" procured. It happened, we're both happy, and that's all I'm thinking about.

I just have to say that some girls like wearing makeup and dressing up a bit simply for themselves, not for unwarranted attention. It's like saying it's a rape victim's fault because she was wearing a short skirt.

There's a fine line between dressing up for attention and simply dressing up. The dressing up for attention girls get what they deserve but I'd hate to think I can't wear a fucking dress out in public without being bombarded by guys and then when I reject them, be called a bitch with a stick up my ass. Because believe it or not, the first thing going through my mind in the morning when I'm getting dressed is not "How can I clothe myself to crush as many man balls as possible today."

Should we all just wear burkas so we won't get any attention at all? Because that's what this is starting to sound like.

Yeah, seriously. Girls strive for attention, and when we give it to them, they think we're freaks. I guess it wasn't me who she had in mind :(.

I have heard from many sources that women also have a tendency to like to dress up merely to try and show up other women, or to just impress other gals, not to get attention from men.

I like girls in sweats and plain t-shirts with little to no makeup. Am I an oddball?

Exactly what are they "doing". Dressing like a girl? Dressing pretty? I've had friends attacked at clubs because of what they were wearing and have come across my far share of sleezes. Does that mean I'm not allowed to wear a tank top and tight jeans to a club, because men might take it the wrong way? There has to be a better solution to these problems than just "It's the girl's fault because of her looks and style."

Like I've said, there are some girl that dress up simply for attention. We all know girls like this, they get what they deserve but how do people distinguish between the attention whores and the ones who just dress how they want to dress for themselves.

I agree with ya there. Girls who 'get what they deserve' gives a bad wrap for all the other innocent girls out there. Some girls wear makeup for no particular reason other than to look a little bit better than normal. However, there are girls who use their elevated looks as a weapon, and procede to use this weapon on any hapless guy who may cross her path.

Moreso, how to distinguish the evil attention whores from the good is what I've been trying to figure out since I first came across this thread! I'm beginning to think it's impossible, however.

It is impossible to do on sight. You actually have to take a risk, and converse with her.

It's not rape when a girl lets down a guy simply because he's attracted to her, and she's definitely dressed to impress (out of the ordinary) ... The question is, who is she trying to impress?

Perhaps whatever guy who might, in the off chance, come by, sweep her off her feet, and fulfill her every imagined fantasy(realistic or not). You gotta be prepared, cuz you never know.

^ But wouldn't it be creepy to have some guy sweep a stranger off her feet?

I was going to make that very same point, but opted out of it.

It is impossible to do on sight, but since this entire thread is based on visual observations leading to concrete assumptions about a woman's character, I figured I wouldn't get into it.

Regardless, I agree, you'll never know how shallow a girl is until you've witnessed it first hand. Looks are not proper grounds to judge a person, but it's faaar too easy to jump to conclusions simply from someone's appearance.

Personally, I'm more interested about WHY women will look at you negatively if you do display some courage and approach them. Why is it that the woman who wear makeup for attention are too proud to accept this attention in good graces?

Because you're automatically a Ted Bundy character and really, really creepy?

There are some girl out there who take that chance and stomp on that guy's ego. There are some girls who politely decline. But when a man is pushy and insistent, is that deserved because of how she's dressed? "Well look at what you're wearing, you obviously want this attention." Also there are plenty of women out there who are drop dead gorgeous but have no self confidence. Why are there such high rates of eating disorders out there, a lot of women who are fine by themselves and really quite beautiful but don't think so themselves. I hate to sound trite but confidence is a state of mind, not a physical being. Because you can look like some Brazillian model yet still think you're fat and ugly.

I won't argue that there are women like that out there and I agree they are fucking cunts but how do you distinguish between them and everyone else. Because you are inevitably grouping everyone else with them simply on how a girl is dressing.

Good god Devo, not everything revolves around men for christ's sake. I'll use myself for an example then. I LIKE dressing up in skirts and dresses, I LIKE wearing nice makeup and having good hair. Does that mean I want men yelling at me when I walk down to street? No I don't, it makes me feel self conscious and makes me wish I wore jeans that day so I didn't attract attention. It is a fucking form of self-love. Because I can tell myself that I look pretty and yes, that is empowering.

And don't say I'm suppose to feel good when an asshole leans out of a car and whistles at me. Because I can damn well sure say I don't.

But he is her dream guy. She will know INSTANTLY that he is the right one, and he her, and thus the whole creepiness factor is eliminated. She will feel as if she knew him all her life.
And they will ride off into the sunset, in his BMW Z8, happily ever after.

Hahahah! So true.

Double Post:
I do.

Yeah. I find it rather humorous how no one is really disagreeing with me.

This is so ridiculously outlandish, but I don't think any honest woman would deny these things.
(either that, or it is so outlandishly wrong as to not be worth their time)

perhaps I should drop my engineering major, and go for psychology

Double Post:
Unfortunately, this is not really the case. More often than not, it is women who set the common beauty standards. They are more often affected by what other women think about them than what men think about them.

I like this post. This whole thread is how guys judge solely on how a girl looks and perhaps vice versa. But the thing is, a lot of good looking girls out there who get hit on the most are the shallowest of the bunch, but men wouldn't know that because they're too damn busy asking for her phone number first and getting to know her second.

Take home message boys, try to get to know her first before asking for the phone number. Because you may realize, she's not worth your time. The proper way to pick up a girl is to get into a friendly conversation in a bookstore aisle of similiar interest, rather than stopping someone on the street and the first things out of your mouth are (???) ???-????.

And they look at you negatively because the decent girls are offended that you only want to get to know her because of how she looks, not the otherway around.

No offense, but you're a dumb cunt.
How can I get to know you without talking to you?

You're the reason women get raped.

Hey assholes exist, we can agree on that point. Do I let it bother me? Sometimes yes, sometimes no but it is a fact of life that they are out in the general population and fucking it up for everyone else. I deal with them, but I don't enjoy being told that I asked for it. Also I never said I flipped a guy the bird. Those attention whores and holi-than-thou girls may do but I do not get off by any means at stomping on a guy's ego because that is cruel and heartless and I am neither. The only issue I had with what you were championing throughout the thread was that if girls dresses a certain way, they received certain reactions and they should just suck it up and quit complaining because they asked for it. I really feel it's the man's problem, not the woman's and society has this thing where they love pinning it on the woman.

As for the last point, I think there are different standards of beauty. You have women lathed in the pages of Playboy who are, yes, very beautiful but you have someone like Rachael McAdams, who is this decent, wholesome pretty. Everyone has a type (some have fat fetishes and the like) so girls should just be themselves and hopefully, a man can appreciate that. But no one can deny that society deamns you to be a size 2 to be every remotely desirable.

When I wrote the first post, I didn't mean the first things out of a guy's mouth - "what's your phone number?" I'm mainly just asking what girls do when a guy out of nowhere asks for a date, or asks to get to know the girl better.

Maybe I didn't make myself clear, initiate some sort of conversation and if she peaks your interest, then ask for the number.

That's uncalled for.

Are you fat or ugly? It has to be one or the other if you rip on porn.

Newsflash, guys don't look at porn to find wives, they look at porn to get off. Most of those girls are ugly or airbrushed to look beautiful.

Society does not deam you to be a size 2, but you deam yourself to be a fat, ugly self-concious cunt.
When did society, and yes, I mean society, ever SAY to you, "You must be a size 2?". Don't even tell me to look at books or magazines, because that's a copout. It never SAID you had to look like that, you simply assumed it. On that same note, I can say guys are supposed to either look like pretty boys or a giant piece of muscles, which by the way, is not true.
Why? Because:
1) I don't read between imaginary lines.
2) I'm not ugly or fat (unlike yourself)
3) I'm not a dumb fucking cunt.

Double Post:
Thanks for adding to the conversation. Your post was uncalled for.
Get back on topic or GTFO.

I'd have to disagree. I'd say women get raped because there are sick pigs out there willing to rape, or willing to justify rape as a means to an answer.

Pride and Prejudice: Charles Bingley asking Jane Bennet for a dance purely on the basis that he thinks she's beautiful, and how she knows next to nothing about him, except that he's rich.

The olden day version of the so called 'creep' and 'shallow girl' in our clubs?

I would agree that women are most likely to criticize another female's appearance but 90% of the time, they internalize it more than men. They share it with themselves, their friends, their family but rarely, if ever do they share it with you, especially if you're a stranger. That's the nature of the beast, women are sneakier so their influences doesn't run as deep with other women. Because I don't know you're talking about my huge cankles since you never tell me.

I'm not denying there are men out there that are less than gentlemen, but why should the solution to the issue be just stop dressing the way you're dressing or stop looking the way you look. Is it simply acceptable for men to act like that and women to take it? That's what I'm asking because the answer to the problems shouldn't be, stop just stop dressing a certain way and putz around town in sweats and a hoodie because that's just the way things are so deal with it. I'm not trying to play martyr because I don't get nearly enough grief as a chick who has naturally huge breasts and can't avoid the unwanted attention or the pretty girl who can't shake off the creeps.

The world will never be rid of assholes but blame should be more evenly distributed rather than just shoved all into one corner. And I'd hate to demean men in such a way that they're sexual urges are so uncontrollable that as soon as they spot some cleavage, they go wild with desire and can't help themselves.

Most males that have ended up asking my number were already familiar to me since we had spent time out of class. To answer the initial question, I wouldn't simply give a guy my number if I didn't know him, regardless of any physical attraction. I knew girls who didn't care who they gave their number to. But from my experience, those girls were desperate for male companionship anyway.

I object, your honour. On the grounds that this man is a massive vagina.

That is the most ridiculous objection I've ever heard. I wouldn't be calling yourself a massive vagina, if I were you.

You can't change how men think of women but there should be some say on how they're treated.

I'm calling you one.
I do however agree with your first reply to me. However, Kat, is the reason why women get raped.

Actually, I changed my mind.

She's too ugly to rape, so instead she'd just get the shit beat out of her.

Same goes with women.

True, but I'd say that women are more often objectified than men.

Wow, you're just contradicting yourself left and right, aren't you?

Wait ... do you even have an argument?

Are you fucking dense or just diseased with Downs?
There's such thing as equal rights. If you get treated like shit, it's your responsibility to do something aobut it, like contact the police or proper authorities.

You act as if it's still the 1500s. Pull your fucking head out of your ass.

What about the way women think of men?

The door swings both ways, you stupid fucking cunt.

*backs away from room*

Okay, you're fucking retarded. You can't read between the lines, and you're just as dense (probably even as Downs'd) as Kat.
I'm glad you take everything so seriously.
Get off the computer. Stand Up. Remove the stick from your ass. Go outside. Enjoy life.

Not to call you out or anything, but a lot of women truly believe that men are uncontrollable savages and the way they think about and treat them reflect this. See Devo's posts about the cold and heartless bitches that abound. Few realize that if this was true, this would be a far more dangerous world for them.

Hmm, why don't the ladies do this: If a guy comes up to you and asks you for your number, if you're somewhat interested (and dating at all), why don't you ask him to chat for a while? Then you can decide whether you'll give him your cellphone number.

House phone? Fuck that noise, friends.

Reznor, either calm down or (forcibly) get the fuck out. It's fine to make controversial points, not to be calling people dumb cunts because they disagree with you.

(This is an official warning which you're expected to acknowledge, either here or by PM.)

Who the fuck calls places singles bars anymore. What are you, 50 with an affinity to martinis? The nature of this thread is to talk of the extreme polar end of a matter, I'm sure everyone has great stories of nice people but how the hell is that going to add to anything.

You're right, some people know how to be polite, some don't. I guess you fall in the latter.

See, you're assuming I called her a dumb cunt because she disagrees with me. That's not the case. I called her a dumb cunt, because she IS a dumb cunt shit.

Double Post:
I guess you fell out of the ugly tree.

Banned.

And to the member moderators squad: thank you, but we can handle it. I've had to delete a ridiculous amount of posts here, so please get back on topic.

Actually, it's directed at the girl members here; What THEY do in this situation.

Ok, another question: When you are approached by a guy (regardless of whether or not you want to be), how would you rather him act: In a cocky way, a shy/reserved manner, an ultra-suave manner, or just in a regular no-effect-by-your-beauty sort of manner?

Double Post:
IT SAID YOU WERE TAKING OFF, SO BIE!!!

You are so very right. Yes, most of them ASSUME that I'm going to fall head over heels and say yes. Most of the time, I either walk away like I didn't hear anything or I'll say no politely. However, there are some that can't take no for an answer. Then I'm forced to be mean (which I don't like to do).

Is there a way in which a guy can approach you which will not set off the "cocky alarm," but will set off the "confident bell?"
If so, how?

I can usually tell a difference between confidence and cockiness. Usually, if a guy has more of a shy disposition when approaching a girl, he'll have more luck. Also, you have to be friendly and up-beat. You don't approach a girl like she's an object of your desire, but like a possible friend: Introduce yourself, and the like.

Yes there is. I've had polite people approach me before. I was more inclined to talk with them then some guy that runs up to me going, "Hey baby! Can I get your number?" or some other stupid crap.

Ok, cool. That is what I thought.
But it is always good to get verification of my thoughts.

I guess the main portion of advice I can offer as being a girl who's sick of all that hyped up crap is PLEASE BE YOURSELF!!! Omg, I can't stress that enough! Nothing irritates me more than a person that tries to be more than they actually are to impress a girl! It is quite personally the stupidest thing you could so (unless the girl you're going after likes that crap, then she's an idiot). Originally is better than seeing difference variations of the same act.

Wait...so are you suggesting that guys who are usually timid and don't do anything shouldnt go Out and Above? (For example showing up randomly and giving you flowers when it is not typical of their nature?)

If it was his thought, it is purely him. He's not trying to be someone other than who he is. He's not being fake by that kind of gesture.

I think that there can be an acceptable delineation between attempting to have a totally different personality for someone, and having a totally different personality due to someone... if that makes any sense.

I think just presumptiously wandering up to a girl and asking for her number is quite cringeworthy and I can understand that it might freak out the girl, or make her think you're only interested in her for the most superficial reasons. And women don't necessarily dress "sexy" to please men. They might do it to feel good about themselves. I think any guy who knew that he was an object of lust for a variety of ladies would feel flattered at the very least, and I don't see why it would be any different for women; it doesn't mean they'll put out at the drop of a hat though. When i'm going out I like to make sure that I look and smell nice because it gives me a bit of a confidence boost and it's nice to get checked out. I am one of these former "shy guys" who has grown up and so I still find that kind of interest from women both novel and enjoyable. If a woman came up to me and asked for my number without getting to know me though, i'd think she was a little dense/shallow.

No no, that's not what I was suggesting. I meant about being cocky and arrogant.