Dating an emo...
 

As you can see from the Post your picture thread, I'm not an emo at all and I have no intention on being one (nothing personal, I just don't like that... humm... culture). I am also NOT the kind of person emo girls would like, that's for sure.

So I've been hanging out with this girl for a while and I'm a bit scared. I think I like her, but the problem is she's SO emo. She even cuts herself, but for some reason I can't stop thinking about her. We are very different from each other. I like metal, she likes punk; I like dogs, she likes cats; I complain if I cut myself, she enjoys it...

So mostly what I want from this thread is to have people post their experiences and/or opinion (if any) on dating emo people.

You have a very cheerful looking sig until I read the words.

You have a crush and might as well follow it. It's no different from going out with a "normal" person. Still no fucking clue what emo means.

Indeed, I agree it is rather ironic. But do not percieve this to be anything more than a mere infatuation.

...is a bad idea.

Edit for the sake of not being considered spam/troll: Honestly, how long do you think you can put up with that stuff. The cutting, the whining, the bad taste in music. The bipolarity issues.

Just don't bother, for your own sake.

Here I was thinking that cutting yourself was a sign of suicidal tendencies. It's awfully relieving to know that it's just the emo thing to do.

I always thought cutting yourself was a cry for help and not an geninue desire to kill oneself.

I know some people who do it because they actually feel the pleasure, there is a name for that kinda thing, but I forgot it. Some do it for attention, you can always tell, because they would openly display the body parts they cut. Some just basically want to kill themselves, but can't exactly go there yet.

I'm telling you from countryman to countryman... If this doesn't raise any red flags with HUGE LETTERS reading "RUN THE FUCK AWAY", I don't know what will.

Masochist

From what I've read about the girl, she doesn't sound like she's emo, just a masochist with tastes that differ wildly from yours. There's no harm in going after her. I'd check to see if she's really masochist and not wishing to commit suicide one day.

Yeah, I thought it was a mere infatuation at some point... I guess time will tell.

The whining is what bothers me the most. Although she does cut herself, it's not something that she does everyday and she doesn't have her wrist full of scars, so it's not THAT bad.

I KNOW! but I can't help it. Perhaps a part of me wants to help her or something... I don't know. :eyebrow:

She's emo. She has the weird har style, she listens to stuff like.. The Used, Beneath Medicine Tree and Domestica, to name the few I can recall.

Beneath Medicine Tree is not emo. It's whiny indie rock that I happen to enjoy.

Don't date emo people, they are sad... ;_;

But they can look cute and peppy...

I don't know man, what can we say? It's up to you. Give it a try, what do you have to lose?

Might I suggest an alternative?

http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/3153/emoe0nq.jpg

Like perhaps, dating an emu.

I dated a girl that cut herself once. She wasn't emo. She did it because she got a certain satisfaction out of it.

We did a lot of fun shit together and she was REALLY good in bed. Ultimately our relationship didn't go anywhere, we were more like fuck buddies than anything, in the end. But, just from my experience, these types of girls are an extremely gratifying experience when it comes to sex. So, I'd say go for it, it's not like cutting is contageous, or bipolarity for that matter.

Then again, I also find cynicism a turn on.

Punch her in the face on the 6th, in addition to it being National Slayer Day it's also the National Emo Kid Beatdown Day.

Seriously maybe just date her for a little bit, get some action and if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out.

i would just maybe think that by dating this person she would realize how nice it is to be happy (act happy around her) and she will suddenly become less or completely no emo. If not, just ignore that fact and the fact of having someone to live for will stop her form cutting herself, but i would make sure not to upset her a lot because...well...emos can be kinda unpredictable. (even though being emo is a mental disorder because it would mean you would have a large amount of emotion and cannot control it...)

tell me how it goes though...

The problem with the stereotypical emo-kid is that they're overdramatic; I once heard it described as, "when it's cool to be sad." If she is truly emo, it will be very hard to make her happy in the long run, and you might end up feeling like a failure. HOWEVER, emo-ness is often just a phase, I imagine. Most young kids don't stay emo forever... how many emo 30-year-olds have you met?

As for the cutting thing... well, it's a problem, I suppose. But there isn't any one reason people cut themselves, and it's worth finding out WHY she does it if you're intent on dating her. I doubt it's masochistic... I think those cutters are the minority. It can be a way of release, of making sure she's still alive, of asking someone to save her, or any other number of reasons. But it's very important to check first that she's not suicidal. And if she is, chances are she doesn't REALLY want to die (or she would've done it by now). See that she gets help; timing is of the essence.

It's infatuation. Is she pretty? That could be it. My best advice is to go through with a relationship like a fling, then dump her when it gets trying on your nerves (surprised she hasn't repulsed you in the first place, with music choices and cutting herself).

Emos reinvented the meaning of self harm and depression. Now it's cool to want to die =D. I'd stay away from her, I don't know the girl but all the Emos here tend to fuck anything that moves. I doubt you could have a serious relationship with someone like that. If you just wanna mess around then go for it but the cutting thing is just a little sad in my opinion.

I talked to her about the cutting.. she said she'd stop it if I asked her to (which, obviously, I did). Call me naive, but it seems like I might be able to get her out of her emo-ness.

As for infatuation, I don't really think it's just that. She is pretty, but that's not the only thing... and the weird thing is that there's something I like a lot about her, and I don't even know what it is. Might as well spend some time with her and find it out. :)

Thanks for the advice, I'll tell you how it went. Right now I need to figure out a way to get her to be my girlfriend.. hmm.. How to say "Wanna be my girl" to an emo? haha.

Opposites attract. If you really, really have a thing for her, overlook her differences and go for it. Don't kick yourself later and complain to us about it! heheh... Good luck, make the right choice.

If any girl is going to cause you a problem or put herself down because she's not "happy", she's not worth your time, IMO.

I've always been against emo kids like that and I have absolutely no remorse for people that want to kill themselves. Used to be in that stage but its just selfish.

Anyway, like a few have suggested, just stay away.

Write a poem and hand it to her with a black rose =p. Or just say it the old fashioned way just because she's emo doesn't mean she's an alien.

I once dated a guy who moved to a different state and went from Jim Carey to Marilyn Manson. He did dump me for a guy that beats him, but I realized that after we stopped dating I became even more chipper than I was before. There's nothing wrong with dating someone that does not share your tastes, but remember that it is very difficult to change a person even if you change yourself and have sunshine and rainbows pouring out of your pockets. Give it a chance because it can broaden your views and it could work out, but the best of luck on having her actually getting rid of the cutting habit.

Crazy girls are good in bed.

I don't know. Why don't you ask her out and see what happens? that's what dating is for.

write the following in blood:


seal it in an envelope with a pentogram sticker and maybe some tears if you can muster it.


I would advise against it though. most girls are emotional enough as it is when dating someone, just imagine how melodramatic and bipolar this girl is going to be... and the cling factor! after you dump her, her friends will stalk you everywhere like a shadow of bad hair and black clothes and then they'll convince her the only way to rid herself of this ETERNAL "DEPRESSION" is to make a voodoo doll of you and purge her sadness by stabbing its eyes out while listening to avril lavinge and other top 40 artists that sing about those stupid stupid boys that always break their tarnished unmendable aortic pumps.

it's your call. I really hope you aren't one of those real life white knight types.

Duo and lurker are correct about these type of girls being very willing when it comes to sex.

So, you can definitely look forward to that if you go out with her.

But whatever you do, don't think that you are going to be her knight in shining armor. You will fail. Nothing personal, you just will.

By the way, I'm gonna vote "no" on the having sex with the "crazy girl" part... because if there's any way to break a woman's heart, it's to have sex with her and then ditch her... so unless you're planning on staying awhile, I'd advise against it. After all, she's emo, and she cuts herself... you do NOT want to depress a person like that, or you may have terrible regrets later.

Err this still sounds like an infatuation if you are focusing on having sex with her XP. Hahaha though sure why not give it a shot, the experience might be interesting though DON'T expect to change her...that would be stupid. Kinda like those typical chick flick movies where there is always some goth/punk/emo chick who's attitude and style of clothes eventually changes through the entire movie due to dating/influence of another guy. Those are always priceless for it never really happens but...it is more interesting to observe.

Girl, you've made my day. That was fucking hilarous. =P

I'm not planning to just have sex with her and then just dump her. That'd be cruel and she'd probably kill herself (or kill me, for that matter). I'll give it a shot, though. I believe it's worth it. =P

Heh depending on when it is worth it usually comes near the end of a relationship (if there is an end to a particular one in which I am sure of it in this circumstance)

Now that you've decided, good luck, and slowly try to bend her character. SLOWLY...

No. She wouldn't try to kill herself. True suicide is not the emo way - you cannot get attention or pity when you're dead. Or at least, notice any of it.

Just updating here... I'm still hanging out with her. It's getting a little hard sometimes, because she kinda loves-hates her last boyfriend. Seems like she shared quite a lot with him, and everything reminds her of him... Other than that, it's going great. Still not my girlfriend, but I believe it's just a matter of calling each other boy/girlfriend, this is pretty much settled.

Ooh. Don't rush it. Great to hear it's going well

I don't understand why you would want to go out with a girl with so much baggage.

In any case, good luck.

Just updating here..

A word of advice:

Emo girls are fucking crazy

Well, actually, I don't think this had to do anything with her being emo, but she's crazy indeed. Long story short, she still misses her ex-boyfriend and couldn't get to love me, so.. it's fucking ruined now. :(

Oh well. At least it was nice while it lasted. And her emo ideas and attitudes didn't affect the relationship at all. Actually, that gave the whole experience a fun and very... interesting touch. :P

(For those wondering, no, I did not have sex with her)

Seconded..

An being bipolar myself, it's not hard to control with experience.. if I'm in a relationship, that's more than enough to ward off the depression. Sounds like you had one who wants to hold onto misery.

Whatever helps you sleep at night, man.

you can't be "an emo". an "emo" does not exist. emo is a musical genre. not a state of being. I hope something very heavy falls on your head, disabling your function to communicate, thus preventing you from ever posting another message on this board.

According to todays stereotype of the word, one can be an emo.... Yes it's annoying that a word that means something completly different is used for people such as wrist cutters, whiners, complainers, etc etc..but it's society lingo for a while.

Hahahaha, yes, we all know what emo really is, but there's no shorter way to describe this girl. As Winter's said, emo is a stereotype nowadays and people understand what an "emo" person is like, so stop trying to look smart and beig so fucking annoying.

I had a friend who cut herself. Then she stopped. No psychiatrists involved. Cause psychiatrists give drugs to suppress emotion so when you're off the drugs, you're worse than before. Anyway, she was doing it cause of her abusive boyfriend, and stopped when they broke up, and they broke up cause I got him pissed at me enough that he threatened to kill me and she decided that was too much. So you could say I helped. But really I didn't say or do anything to her that influenced her. It was all about getting her away from him. Not TALKING HER OUT OF being with him, just making it happen.

But since that has absolutely no relevance to this situation or relationshit, I will say one last thing:

Don't date cutters. Don't date emo people. Find yourself a real woman, not a little girl, and have a grown-up relationship with someone who is complete without someone else, while you stay complete without someone else too. Two complete people is way better than two people who complete each other.