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Douchebag Roommates
God only knows everyone who's been through college had one at some point. I was reading someone bitching about it on another forum, and I was reminded of the painful company I once had.
Does anyone have any scarring stories to tell of their own douchebag roommates? |
Back in 2001 I was in an apartment with three people who like to drink. I'm a social drinker myself for the most part, but these three fuckers would get shitfaced EVERY FUCKING NIGHT. School? "Haha fuck that" was their typical response. Moved out after one semester.
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I have horror stories beyond belief, let me tell you. The current guy, who just moved out, was one of the most selfish people I've ever met. I'm trying to have a phone conversation with my mother, and about 45 seconds in, he turns his music way up, and tells me to go outside because he "doesn't want to hear me."
It's also apparently OK for him to be really loud when I'm trying to nap or sleep, but the reverse is definitely not OK. Basically, he's a selfish jerk. So glad I'm moving back in with family next semester. I know that sounds strange, but it's definitely better than the assholes I've had in the past -- trust me. |
luckily here in england you only have to share the communal areas and get your own room and sometimes bathroom, but still, you encounter jerks.
one of my flatmates had no regards for others whatsoever: - playing music at obscene volumes at the wrong hours (late at night or early in the morning) and it was decent music either -.- - taking over the entire fridge/freezer when me and the other flatmate had gone home for the holidays - pretty much always setting off the fire alarm whenever she cooks, she has an inability to stay in the kitchen and what what she does, instead she pots whatever she wants to cook on the stove or in the oven and leaves... only to come back for it when the place starts smelling of smoke - makes a complete mess whenever she cooks, ie sauces spill all over the stove and she doesn't even attempt to clean it up - leaves her left overs out in the open, and with summer coming... you can guess what the result is - leaves her dirty dishes in the sink for weeks on end - oh and she's decided to use every single cupboard, table and chair to put her things on so you can't actually sit at the table and eat anymore, have to do it in your room. sure they don't seem that important, but i come from a catering background, so messes in the kitchen area is a nightmare of mine |
I'm sure many of you have had worse than I have, but I've only had one year living in a dorm and I've already got some roommate funtimes under my belt. I had gone through three roommates by the end of the first semester, and the fouth guy is rooming with me again next semester because we've become friends.
First two: my double was, for a time, a forced triple. While neither of them were really anything terrible, they had certainly become friends with each other more than with me. We were all just in different places, they were more athletic, I was far more nerdy. One of them dropped out after two weeks, and the other one was drinking under his parents noses, so they both decided it would be a good idea to bring a drunken party into the room. Bad news, fellas: You live on the school's Chem. Free floor. Roommate 2 left the next day, Roommate 1 was kicked out of the room for having alcohol. If you look up the word "polyamorous" in a dictionary, Roommate 3 might have his picture next to the word as an example. And he wasn't even attractive. This is the kind of guy that pisses off my friend Eric, who really tries with women and never succeeds. Anyway, I lost track of all fo the women, also lost count, but he seemed to remember all of their names. He left of his own accord because he didn't really 'fit in' on our floor. Final notes: I totally love hearing the same Staind song at least twice every single night. I also love when someone makes a setlist to play on repeat that consists of seven songs total. Especially if one of them is that god-awful Hawthorne Heights single. |
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Isn't it a great part of the college experience, learning to adapt to having assholes around? I always hope this kinda shit has a pruning quality to it. |
My older brother, who's a total homophobe, had his roommate come out half way through the first semester of his first year :/
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I think I could write a book about how douche my roommates are, but you can chose which ones you want to read about if you like:
Roommate #1: Black racist Spoiler:
Roommate #2: Never shown up, very good roommate indeed. Roommate #3: Pregnant Spoiler:
Roommate #4: Da*n Yankee Spoiler:
Roommate #5: She signed up for my room one day then changed her mind the next day. Roommate #6: Don't know who she is, but I have the feeling that this one may make me want to stay in Sunderland. Seriously, I don't understand sometimes how these people get boyfriends (well, roommate #3 was awesome, I just cherish sleep). Quote:
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I'm sooooo fucking glad I don't have to deal with that bullshit. Living with parents for free rent rocks!
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You know, my parent use to say the exact same thing to my sister when she was in High School.
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Oh sweet jeebus - I have had two roommates who fit the douchebag category.
Roommate #1: Now I am Christian. I believe in God and such, but I'm not gonna take my beliefs and ram it down your throat. Roomie 1 was a super-religious nutcase who decided it was his business to convert me to his denomination because what I thought and believed about how I should live my own life wasn't good enough. Even better - (and keep in mind that this is a freshman dorm studio where it is only one room) - lets decide we want to play a little game we like to call "Let's have bible study in the room and not ask your roommate if its OK!" Thats OK that your roommate has been on his feet all day in classes, then had to work that afternoon, and is really tired and just wants to lay down and take a rest! Noooooooo. That is unnaceptable because how sleepy you are doesn't matter when you're a god warrior! YAY!!!! :D now don't get me wrong - like I said, I'm a christian. But I also know how to respect other people: how hard would it be to maybe move that to the student lounge so your roommate could get some sleep or maybe tell him before hand so there are no problems? Shortly after that I became his "pet project" as he was determined to convert a filthy heathen such as I and thats when enough was finally enough. :P Roommate #2 was just a dick, plain and simple. One day i came home to find the toilet seat inexplicably missing. Considering my roommate was never in as is, I had no idea of finding out what became of it. Ignoring my notes about this, and getting tired of having to go into military squats just to take a shit TWO FUCKING MONTHS LATER i skipped my classes and work in the hopes of catching him at home. It worked. Boy howdy, wasn't it ever fun when I discovered that he'd taken off the toilet seat to the apartment to use as some kind of freaky dada-ist sculpture based art project rather than just buying one at Wal Mart? HOW TOTALLY UNSANITARY IS THAT SHIT!!?! This was also the same douche who liked to play Counterstrike, crank the volume up to eleventy-bajillion and blast away at anything that moved without the respect of his roommate or the people next door or the people above him who constantly banged on the walls to turn that shit down. It's fun answering the door to screaming next door neighbors at 3 in the morning because he refused to put headphones on due to them taking away the "magic of the Counterstrike experience!" FUN FOR EVERYBODY!!!!!!!! :D |
Last term I was in a room with three spiteful cocks who talked shit about everyone (and each other) and refused to shut up. On more than one occasion I had to sleep outside.
One particular instant comes to mind. I have some kind of bizarre allergy thing which occurs randomly (no time to explain) by which my throat closes up and I turn red and itch all over my fucking body. The medication fucks me up even further, so I usually get rid of it by standing under a hot shower for an hour. On more than one occasion one of the assholes thumped on the shower room door until I left. Thank god I'm roomed up with a friend this time. |
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The fourth roommate, the Yankee, would invite this very obnoxious guy into the room after I had showered and his high-pitched, nasaly voice kept trying to convert me into watching Harry Potter (along with my roommate). Think of Randy and Eustis from King of the Hill and you probably know what this guy looks and acts like. Seriously, I don't know why they couldn't hang out in the lounge so I wouldn't walk out of the shower in a pair of shorts and a nightgown and have some odd guy looking at me. She normally won't warn me when he's in, or if she does, she'll say, "He outside the door right now, I'm letting him in." |
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My current roomate is a total bitch. I mean there are no other words that could possibly describe her better than "Stank ass cunt", "Chonga", and the nefarious "Herpes Simplex C Chimera" This girl loves to leech off of people, and ironically as of the last 5 months, I alone have been paying the electric, the rent, and possibly everything else that we have to pay. She used to sit at home and do nothing but drink, snort cocaine, and have sex with her 40 year old boyfriend ,who reminds me of a rejected guitarist (Seriously, the man has no potential for a good future...), on my fucking bed. Not only does she do that, but shes broken 2 of my work laptops and gotten me fired from 2 jobs in the last 4 months because she decides to come over and create a scene about why life is so miserable, with thin cuts on her wrist.
She clearly is a waste of airspace and organic material, just like having a pet roach, its fucking pointless! So now I am moving out, finally, and going with my friend alan. Sweet.... |
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Oh and to remind anyone just in case, cause I know this is a prevalent douchebag trait for a roommate: guitar playing. It's cool, and I respect knowing the instrument. But when you play the same damn song, solely to get laid (i.e. "Tears In Heaven"), it's maddening. Especially if you like the song. And since I just remembered, I had someone play, since I forgot, Band X all the time, their single. I liked Band X, way back then, before I had this person as a roomie. I thought they were really good. But then not only did I have to associate their damn songs to this prick whenever I listened to them myself, he played their single alone so many times that even if he wasn't an idiot, it'd still be unbearable. |
Another one in the "living with parents" category most thankfully.
All I have to say is.... Visavi - GOOD LUCK! That Yankee sounded like a bitch and a half to live with! That's why I wanted to room with current friends rather than risk getting morons like that. |
I'm sure my other roommates would describe me as an asshole too. I'm sure I did some stuff to piss off the others without knowing it.
My one of my roommate thought that it was cool to blast out his rock music from his pretty shitty speakers. Also, he would watch movies with his speakers too. At first, I tried just using my headphones and asking him politely to lower his volume or use his headphones. Later I just got tired and decided to be the asshole and blare music out of my shitty speakers. I finally got the message, and started using headphones. At least my roommate was somewhat compliant. I think it should be a rule that if you're sharing a room with someone, you have to have headphones. I really don't want to listen to your shit. I probably need a room to myself. |
Oh RIGHT. The LEECH archetype. Someone brought that up before but I had to relate a very striking story. I had one roommate, same one who made me hate Band X, who never used anything of his own. Seriously. He had a computer but his parents somehow forgot to make him pack that most important thing. So my other roommate, who was a nice guy, lets him use his laptop. Funny thing? This leech ends up using the laptop more than he. All the time, he'd be blaring some shitty music from a laptop that wasn't even his. My other roommate even told me this disturbing tale in which even open water bottles of his were not safe from this leech's over dependence.
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I'm married so I dont have any real problems other than my husband's friends coming over and eating our food and making a bigger mess of our already messy aparment. My sister lives at home though and she's sorta high-maintainence... She might be one of those aggrevating roommates if she ever moves out and has to have a roommate.
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My roomates weren't bad, but they had a few things that pissed me off. One hated using a dryer (OH NOEZ MY CLOTHES SHRINK IN THE DRYER) and would hang his damp clothes over my fucking desk.
Both were of Korean descent and also loved to spam decent tasting but very awful smelling food. Next year I'm rooming with friends. In a better dorm than fucking Glenn. My brother was right in that the room smells worse than prison. Georgia Tech does that to people. |
My roomate is...erm, well, too agreeable lol. I'm pretty sure he has opinions, but I don't know what the hell they are. I ask him a question and he just shrugs his shoulders and says "whatever." I mean it is kind of nice to have an affirmative :). Or a negative. That said, I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm a little bit of an asshole. I'm always up until 5:00am pounding away on my LOUD keyboard, and at least until he goes to bed, blasting my death metal & power metal on my speakers. I'm nice enough to turn it off before then though :). I'm in my room a lot though, so its a good thing he has headphones :p.
Pretty much I've noticed on my floor everybody leaves everyone else alone. On the rare occasion you do get asked to lower volume or whatnot, people do it. So I guess I came out pretty lucky. Nothing compared to some of the horror stories I've heard here =(. There was a guy last semester though that lived on a different wing (same floor still) that would always come in our room @ 11:00pm and insist on watching South Park, no matter what. We didn't really mind I guess, I mean that was just his personality, but still, there were times were I would have rather spent that time studying. |
Man, I'm going into dorms next year for the first time..and reading all this is making me Soooo excited! I sure hope I get the yankee..or maybe the cocaine/sex addict. Ooo, the cult religious guy sounds fun!....siiiigh
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My roommate last year was stereotypical Midwestern guy. He wasn't that bad of a roommate, but he had a tendency to be selfish and thoughtless. For instance, it was all right for him to be loud when I was in bed, but when I opened a sock drawer in the morning he would get very angry. He was a drunkard (literally), too.
Other than those problems, he wasn't that bad. |
I had a douchebag as a roommate a few years ago. He used to go out to party in the gayest clubs in town, though he was straight, then come "home" and throw up in the sink. Not ever in the toilet next to it, noooo. A nice surprise every Thursday morning is what I got from him. Try brushing your teeth in that smell.
That kind of irritated me. He was Italian, so that explains everything. |
QUICK POLL:
What is the least of these evils? - The Leech - The Whore - The Drunk Imagine that these are not one and the same. |
Even though i'm too young to have douchebag roomates, i'll still evaluate in this poll.
The Leech is the worst. There's nothing like having someone who believes in the philosophy that "What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine." So they'd think it's perfectly alright to being using all of your stuff and when you try doing that kind of crap the other way around, they'd suddenly get PMS when it happens. At least the Whore and the Drunk won't get into your business all that much. |
I had a real douchebag roomate once. Every couple of weeks my cups, plates, and glasses would dissapear from the kitchen. I would wait till he leaves and then I would go into his room. At first it seemed like nothing was there but I looked under his bed and sure enough, all of my glasses filled with curdled milk, and plates covered in old moldy food were there sitting next to his manly gielfriends pleather lengerie and hand cuffs. (I guess that would explain the constant "wooooohooooo" I heard at night).
He also borrowed my Playstation once to play Madden and left the game on for 2 days while it was sitting under a two foot pile of his dirty laundrey. Needless to say, the PS overheated and wouldn't work thereafter, so I made him get me a new one. Also, when he moved out, he didn't clean anything, my parents and I had to scrub his dirty shower and clean the piss off his toilet in order to get a deposit back. However, we kept his portion of the money because we had to clean his crap. A true class A douche. |
I've only had good roommates really, but my roommate's *girlfriend* my sophomore year brought in trouble. I lived in a triple with two other guys. Big trouble, like, even though she only ever slept with my one roommate, her boyfriend, she played with the emotions of my other roommate and played with the sex drive of me (the girl practically emanated pheremones), and basically manipulated us all against each other, and by the end there was crippling dysfunction between all 3 of us towards each other. Excellent.
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I can't say I've had anything as bad as the stuff people have listed on here, but I have had roommates that just simply bugged me. (I think I mentioned this guy once in another thread.) Near the end of the semester, I was checking the thermostat on an almost daily basis to make sure a certain someone hadn't set it to 55 degrees. 55 degrees. During winter semester. :cussing:
The guy also could cook. Which wasn't a bad thing, except when he'd leave it in the pan overnight or something. I'll come into the kitchen in the morning and his pan of dried, crusty stroganoff is still sitting in the pan on the stove. And, no offense to anyone here, but I don't like tuna at all. This guy did, and whether he knew it or not, he made it clear to the rest of us. He wouldn't rinse out a can of whatever he'd open, so I had the "privilege" of coming to the kitchen, with the smell of old tuna hitting my nose like a brick wall. And I found it rather disturbing that this guy would frequently blast some awful rap, or even Britney Spears or Shakira or Destiny's Child. |
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... Good point.
Still, I think the leech is worse. Even if the whore has sex in your bed, or the drunk pukes in the shared bathroom, there's nothing a little cleaning can't do. When the leech takes stuff from you and then breaks it or something of that matter, it's basically gone and it's their fault. They should know how to respect your property anyway. |
We've all had to deal with crappy roommates... fortunately I can't say I've had as bad as experiences as some people here, but my roommate last year was extremely picky. To the point where even before we moved in she called my cell phone and left a message about which side of the room she wanted and how she wanted the beds/desks arranged. Seriously, how the hell would you know what side of the room you want and how your bed is going to be arranged? Anyway, a few arguments ensued when she moved in because I didn't comply to her "requests". It's not her room, it's ours. =\
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Dee, you go to Texas, right? I hope you didn't get stuck with the "dormitory" known as Jester :-P Much like the name, that place is a joke ;( That'd add on to the pain of having a roomie.
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After listening to all the nightmares caused by douchebag roommates, I vow, that in the unlikely event I encounter such a person and somehow have to live together that I will commit arson before I leave (you can bloody well bet that I will be the first to leave).
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Anyone who goes so far as to have sex drunk in your bed is a shitfaced skeezer who deserves a size 13 steel toed boot lodged firmly in between the cheeks of thier ass. Plain and simple.
Thankfully I have not had a roommate like that but I have heard horror stories. A good friend of mine had this one roommate who took showers infrequently and always smelled funny. So whenever you went into thier room it always smelled like gym socks and must... >_< |
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I've lived in residence for all of my university life, and my share of roommates have been incredibly good, except for one. My first gf had one hell of a roommate, so I'd be happy to share both stories.
1.) My second year (both semesters): You know your not going to have a good roommate, when he comes to you during the first day you move in and tries to persuade you to leave, by doing a student swap because he wanted one of his other friends to be his roommate instead of me that was living in the same residence. He use to make fun of all of my hobbies, especially in the residence lounger if i was watching anime or anything along those lines. A lot of his friends had a big problem with me being up all hours of the night because I use to be big nighthawk during university and I use to go to different floors all hours of the night to see if any of friends were up late studying or stuff like that. They would always make fun of me and say stuff about me in which they knew I could hear them. He never use to clean up the bathroom or anything along those lines. I remember one time, during our residence bash he forced me to move all of my stuff out of the refrigerator, so that he could have a big room party, so I had to take all my food and move it to a friends refrigerator so that he could end up stuffing 196 bottles of beer and a few 40 ouncers in the fridge for all of his friends. He was a tough roommate to deal with, but I endured through it. 2.) My first gf's first year (First Semester): She had a roommate that was from kentucky and she came to this university with her online bf from ontario, because they wanted to go to a university that was fairly cheap. They seemed nice at first but after the first month things went downhill and made things incredibly stressful and distracting for my gf at that time. Her roommate ended up cheating on her online bf before they came to university, and she ended up getting pregnant. She went to get an abortion, and after that she started sleeping around with a lot of guys in our residence especially on our floor. She ended up having a threesome with two guys on the floor me and my gf were living on at the time. Basically my gf at the time mostly had to endure quite a lot of shouting matches between her roommate and her bf and I was there during a few of those times and they got very heated and very violent. |
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And I endured it for the year as well. |
Damn guys, the worst that's happened with any of my roommates is that I caught one pleasuring himself to tennis magazines (the guy really loves his tennis).
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I've had pretty good luck with roommates, but I still had one that was piss poor.
Imagine this scenario: he'd moved into my dorm to be close to his girlfriend, who lived one floor up. She was one of the most attractive people I've ever seen, so naturally my roomate had no choice but to seduce our RA. Then, growing bored with our RA, my roommate seduced another girl on our floor, and their in-bed antics woke me up in the middle of the night. Mind you, he had never broken up with his girlfriend, and never broken up with the RA that he was cheating on her with. So he was simultaneously with three girls in an extremely enclosed space, waking me up in the middle of the night, and generally disgusting me with his callousness. And, when all three girls found out about his two-timing ways, he (thankfully) decided to move out mid-semester. We'd split the appliances when we moved in, but he promised I could keep the TV until the end of the semester since he would be moving in with someone that had one. That is, until a week after he moved out, when he barged in and took the set *as I was watching it*. Since, during the height of his lechry, my roomate wasn't sleeping in the room much, he essentially allowed another student to squat in our room, giving him a key and letting him sleep on his bed or on the floor. I just came home one day and found someone else's stuff all over the place. Things worked out all right in the end, though. My roomate never returned to get his microwave, so I got a free appliance out of the whole thing. I also had to paint over the enormous poorly-drawn anime figure he sketched on the wall with a Sharpie, though. |
Welcome to my world... I currently live with 4 roommates..
Roommate 1- I am 3vil. This guy is the biggest dumbass in the world.. Everyday I have to listen to him make claims about how much he mistreat customers at work. "oh today, i told a customer to fuck off right in front of my manager because the guy didn't buy a t.v. right away!" yea, sure.. I have hear about how he told off his manager and shit, eventhough he still has his job... Things that I know for sure are not true.. He claims to be neat as well but I don't think he has ever heard of using a dishwasher. 2nd roommate- the thief- He guy has money but for reason he need to steal shit from stores... And he's reply is "Don't worry about it, i won't get caught".. I honestly think it would be funny to one day call the supermarket ahead of time and alert them that he is coming, so he can get caught. Then he claims that he raised his sisters...If he raise them the same way that he lives.. I sure hope that they didn't actually learn anything from him. He is messy.. I don't think he has ever heard of a laundry hamper, a dishwasher, picking up his shit and putting it in a drawer or anything that comes close to being clean... I found his q-tips on the floor.... 3rd- The bitch... My ex g/f. She's the only one that helps clean but unforunately... she helps to make the mess. *sigh*.... Then when I get on people's cases but the stealing or the messes, she get pissed at me and tells me to let it go... 4th- Elcee.. the only one that i liked but the rest of the roommates dont... *sigh* |
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