Mad or sad?
 

I've recently noticed that there are two kinds of peoples' responses when it comes to getting yelled at or made to feel bad or humiliated.

Some people get really sad, want to cry, and seem to need a hug really badly.
Others get really angry and fight back, even through tears of uncontrollable anger.

What kind of a person are you? If someone you loved or cared about were to make you feel badly (whether intentional or not), how would you react? Would you get sad, or would you get mad?

Personally, I am the latter. But then, my response to mostly everything is ANGER and RAGE. It's a cold day in hell when I actually cry because I am sad, or that I need a hug. But some people see it sometimes.

I usually get sad, but sometimes it evolves into anger (because I think...a lot...and usually take the pessimistic view of things).

Depends. If I'm getting chewed out by someone ahead of me on the ladder (boss, prof, etc) I go back to my Academy-style upbringing. Stand up straight, nod, stare them in the eye.

Meanwhile, if someone in my age group or a co-worker/collegiate of sorts snaps at me, I'll snap back. I often put them in their place.

It is very hard to get me sad or upset. I don't get sad. I just keep a serious tone/mood. If someone pisses me off, it comes out in force and blunt-wordedness. Otherwise, I think of myself as a nice fella to be around.

But that's my opinion.

Mad wins ^__^

I'm not the kind of person that holds a grudge for very long but I can be very quick to anger. Which can cause a problem in the work environment. I just can't stand it when a boss yells at me in front of a group of people. I won't just stand around and take it, no matter what the consequences are. The only reason I've kept employment in the job that I have for so long is because I'm rather good friends with my boss and he knows better then to be a prick about things in public.

For the most part though I'm quick to forgive people , as long as I don't say anything to hurtful, most arguments I have end rather quickly.

Hahaha it is all about getting mad...so typical X_X

Interesting observation Sassu. I'm definately the type of person who would get sad after being humiliated. I like brooding over that kinda stuff for days (well technically I don't like it but I do it anyway) after it happens, until I sober up and realize that I was being stupid. Then it's on to the next thing.

I wonder if it's related to the fact that I'm a more introverted kind of person.

Thats actually a little sobering in itself. I am the same exact way, but in the opposite direction.

I get really pissed at levels that frighten most onlookers - but as soon as I "sober up," as you put it, I let it go, and I move on. I do this with most angering interactions between myself and others - only because it's the only way I know how to deal with it.

That doesn't mean I never forget what was said/done to me, though.

That's basially how I am, too. I use to cry a lot when I was younger, but I just got sick of doing it and started converting it to anger instead. I wouldn't say it was the best thing to do though, as I seem to get really angry a lot nowadays, even at the smallest things. And I'm one of those types who gets really angry, like hitting/throwing/breaking stuff angry.

Right. Same here, it's the only way I know how. My close friends have often told me that I need to be more stern and defensive when put in such situations, but I can never bring myself to. It just never "feels right", you know? Probably would be the same if you tried to run away and hide from the situation rather than get pissed and rage =p

I try not to let what anyone says get to me, but when it doesn't roll of my shoulder, I'll throw a tantrum and move on.

I don't really like being mad or sad, but under the right circumstances I'll blow up in anyone's face, putting me more on the 'mad' side of the spectrum. I am a pretty introverted person too, though I never brood over anything for more than a day. Makes me feel too pitiful about myself.

I've learned that anger often brings change, but sadness tends to bring destruction.

WHERE'S MY BOOK SAMARI?! :(

I hope you cry for days now >__<

Oh hay

I usually get sad, depending on what was said, like if I did something that messed up things. Of course, I get sad, but I don't cry. Now, if I get accused of something I know for a fact I didn't do, I get pissed.

I suppose it can be a mixture of both. My initial feeling can be one of sadness, but sometimes I grow angry later on. I also have a bad habit of still feeling bothered by whatever may have happened days later.

I get really sad when it happens to me. I try to hold all my anger in, and even though I can't always do that, I know that me fighting back will just make everything worse.

The times I have argued back just got so bad that UGH, I just felt like destroying everything around me. I am glad I never try to do that much anymore.

I haven't been mad enough to bring tears for several years. In fact, I very seldom get angry these days, beyond the "GUH ANGST PUNCH WALL" stage. I guess it's because nobody fucks with me anymore, for some reason. Maybe it's just because I'm more mature. Who knows.

But back in the day when people used to fuck with me all the time, I would get so angry I would shake, and then cry while beating the everloving snot out of them a la "A Christmas Story" (most of the time). It's quite shameful really, not being in control, but damn if I didn't feel better afterwards.

I kind of wish somebody would do something to warrant my anger now, because it's always a helluva stress reliever. Of course, nowadays I guess I'd be sitting in jail rather than detention.

God, it's been so long since I've been yelled at or humiliated that I can hardly remember how I used to react. Another bonus of being old. =p

I think I would get mad. I mean, other than a parent when you're a child, who has the right to hell at or humiliate you? That's just wrong. I think I would be very pissed off.

Your teachers, your co-workers, your friends and family members?

Believe me. Some people deserve to be yelled at and/or humiliated. I have no qualms about doing it myself if I have to. When you fail to do something you said you would do or agreed to, you deserve it. =/

Hell no. You actually yell at people in real life? You and I would get along about as well as oil and water.

Nigga yells at me, nigga gon get smacked.

So yeah, I guess "mad" is my answer.

Ahaha, yea. Mad. ^_^

I yell at a LOT of people. Especially when they're fucking stupid. My lab partner in robotics, for example. I think he's afraid of me now. He fucked up our robot by re-writing the basic commands and thus removing all the work we had done.

We had a sumo match in 30 minutes. I had to rewrite all the goddamned codes and re-write the master program with no help from him, because of his immaturity.

I understand when people want to play with robots - but work before play, assholes. He fucked me over, put me in a really hard spot, and I had to score a good grade with what I had.

You're telling me that DOESN'T warrant a good screaming at or two?

Honestly I can't remember the last time I was sad at someone who tried to humiliate me or yelled at me. It's actually quite hard to light my fuse, but when my fuse is lit, watch out. I've been told I've scared people before when I was set off by someone trying to make me feel horrible and started to yell at me. Actually, if I remember correctly, I got kicked out of that club.

So yes, totally am the mad and angry sort, nor do I forget. I don't keep grudges, but I don't forget, either.

I used to get sad, sometimes cry over pretty much nothing and I felt that I had no real control over it. Took me quite a few years to get past that stage, but it was very rare for me to get angry then. Lately however I think I've developed more of a short temper and I get angry over things that I probably shouldn't, which is starting to worry me in a way. I remember my dad always having a short temper and he'd sometimes shout at me for reasons I couldn't understand, yet now I sometimes find myself getting angry at the sort of stupid things he did. I do try my best to control it though, and often I realise I'm going to far with nothing and just stop talking. =\

I usually get mad, then sad afterwards! I get annoyed when the person is shouting at me, and argue back, but later on I feel really bad about it. Except when I argue with my mother, those tears come about through sheer anger. ><

I tend to have a mix, but usually when something makes me mad, I stuff that anger down deep inside me. Not the healthiest thing, but it's what I do.

You should see me when the white-hot ball of rage builds up in my chest. I'm fucking terrifying, I fucking scare myself.

Two weeks ago (after our final dress rehearsal for the show I was in) I got into a big screamfest at Stephen about stuff I'd been suppressing for too long. The biggest thing I remember screaming was "You demean me!" and breaking down into sobs.

Things are better now. I got drunk as HELL the next night, didn't make it home until about 3 in the morning and we talked some more and had wonderful make-up sex. Lol, hickey on my neck for a week.

First of all, i would be extremely upset, but then i would get extremely pissed off because i'm a generaly angry and violent person. My mate annoyed me last night, he said something harsh to me, so i got all upset, signed out, but then suddenly got really angry at him.

I'm neither. I don't get mad by people just randomly yelling at me for my fuckups, neither do I get sad. If certain things are said that push my buttons, I might get angry, but not to the point of rage.

I usually just let it roll off my back.

Actually it was more about the people that you care about. Not a perfect stranger, or even a boss.

If the woman you loved yelled at you, would your initial response be anger or sadness.

Its a different scenario when its about someone YOU care about.

I think I'm both.. I usually go through rage and sadness all at the same time. I don't cry, but you can tell I'm sad. I don't get angry very often, but it happens.

Hell, I'd be angry. It wouldn't be the fight-to-the-death kind of angry, but maybe more like steam shooting out of my ears (which sounds very uncomfortable). Usually, though, after I simmer down a bit, I become thoughtful. Obviously, if they yelled at me, I either did something to warrant it or they've blown something way of proportion. In either case, I need to figure out how to handle it. I usually don't show my anger, so the problem wouldn't really be escalated. If it did, there'd be a lot more to think about.

I'd get angry about it. Usually if the comment pertains to someone I care about, or it's something that telling me i'm fat. Usually, it's a joking thing, but I tend to take alot of things personally. Which is a bad thing sometimes.

I'm sad and mad at the same time. I'm smad. I actually cry when I'm yelled at, not because I'm so overrun with grief but because I'm just this ball of emotions that I can't control and I burst into tears. Then I'm so horrified that I'm crying that I cry even harder. God damn, it's disgusting.

Once I hit someone while crying. So, no I don't need no hug.

Well for me, if it's a friend, normally inside I feel kind of sad, but I pretend to be angry although in reality, sometimes I feel really alone as if I need a hug really badly....but, most people...actually, nobody yet...knows the inside me through my pretend yelling and everything. So, I guess you could say I'm kind of the type that crys or feels like they need a hug. But if it was someone I really really cared about/even loved, I'd probably end up crying.

In my past, rather than react with anger or sadness, I withdraw and become more passive. Of course inside my head I'd be pissed off to a very strong degree.

These days, after learning of the damage that built up stress can do to a body, I lash right back out. Sometimes it's productive, sometimes it's not, but at least it makes me feel back in balance.

I usually get mad at first but within 1 hour or more I usually get sad.

Whenever someone makes me feel badly, I usually get mad first but soon afterward, I start to think about the good things I've had with or seen that person do (even people I hardly know).

I usually explode a bit but then it goes into sadness. It's VERY hard for me to keep a grudge.

I'm not the kind of person that gets hit and starts crying. If something like that does happen I fight back.

I get defensive and onverly sarcastic, so I guess that would qualify as angry. I tend to fight fire with fire when it comes to people trying to make me feel bad. Why should I feel bad because of something one person said?

Actually, neither. When someone yells at me, or insults me, I just feel humiliated and ashamed.
For example, I have a lab partner for programming assignments, and she's handed in the first assignment and got a 99. I've haded in the second one, and got a 91. Now, granted, the second assignment is much more difficult, but I felt ... ashamed and guilty and just overall horrible. She wasn't mad or anything - in fact she felt relieved because she couldn't figure out the last question, but I still felt like a failure.
I'm the kind of person that just gets red and looks in the ground if someone insults them or speaks harshly.
I try my best to avoid confrontation, but don't get me wrong. I'm not the kind of person who gets lovey dovey with an abusive person just to make it go away - I just can't handle yelling at people when they fuck up or yell at me.

I only get sad if a close friend or relative tried to insult me or yells at me. I just don't care when other people do it, after all... they know nothing about me. It is also a good skill, because I am in the customer service business, and trust me, they can get nasty at you.

I usually keep quiet and plot my sweet, sweet revenge.
Occasionally though, especially when I am arguing with my father, I get very outwardly angry, although tears of anger never come. I just get very hot-headed and feel rather destructive.

I usually get mad, and then feel sad a few moments later. Of course, this all depends on what the situation is that has made me feel so upset/angry/humiliated etc.

Sometimes I'll get really angry and punch something, although I try to make sure it's something soft, because hitting a brick wall doesn't exactly make me feel better. Hitting a pillow however, allows me to vent my frustration without seriously hurting anything or breaking a part of my body.

I don't usually get the polar extremes of either, but I think for the most part I sort of meet it in the middle. it's rare that I'm in an arguement with someone, but if I am it's usually that I'd fight back [in my own not-so-ragey way] for the time being, and then need a hug afterwards as I reflect.

I suppose I'll have to fight with people more often to have a real answer though :'D

I'm actually neither, I suppose you could call me passive-agressive. Just yesterday, my ex-girlfriend yelled at my face, hit me as hard as she could, and threw my laptop against the wall. The whole time I just looked at her, and I think she was actually kinda scared!

Dude, that's freaky. My dad's passive agressive, does that 'indifference act' and it does scare the heck out of me.

Usually, I definitely get sad first. Mad comes a split second later but, depending on the person (and their authority), I usually keep it in until i find a better time to let out my steam. It's not always good for the people I hang around when I rant but hey, misery loves company.:p

It depends on the gravity of the situation for me.

If it is something extreme, I will be sad first because I'm not expecting the shock/surprise. However, after thinking about the problem over time, I get mad if I realize I did nothing wrong. That's when I'll go back to the person and retaliate.

Usually, when stuff like this happens to me I tend to become sad first off. No, I don't end up crying or obsessing over it (unless it's something REALLY major) but I do end up thinking about it during moments of introspection and angst.

However, most of the time I end up turning said sadness into some sort of anger. Which I sometimes proceed to express in various ways to people that usually don't have any connection to the shit that made me angry in the first place. I don't go and yell at people for no reason though. Usually I just talk about the in slightly more animated and emotional (the emotion being anger/rage) ways than usual. That's if I decide to talk about it -- usually when it comes to this stuff I don't.

I vary rarely end up confronting the person that "hurt" me when I'm mad/sad.. I try and keep a clear, "sober" mind when I do confront/talk to said person. At least, most of the time. I very rarely fight fire with fire these days.

Sad most of the time, I guess, to a certain extent. Then I remember there's probably nothing more important in life than happiness, and feeling the exact opposite is simply foolish.

This thread isn't in 'angst' so I'm not going to go too much in details but I'm in a situation like that. My friend is hurting me and it's making me really sad.
My mind is starting to tell me that she's doing it intentionally so my sadness is turning to anger. I'm so angry that I can say that I'm starting to hate her but I still care about her so much. I guess I'm tired of crying inside and my new approach is anger over sadness.

I usually feel disappointment or disgust for the aggressor, but if they hit me hard (figuratively or literally), I get angry, but I force my psyche to turn it in to saddness. Anger tends to blind, and I can stay focused and compose myself easier through saddness.

It depends on how justified the person is. If their reasons for yelling at me are absolutely ridiculous, then I usually either get irritated or really angry. I don't get mad very often, but when I do, it's a scary sight. I'm not very good at holding back my anger, but then again, I rarely have to.

On the other hand, if I deserved it, I'm probably not going to get mad. Maybe sad.

I'd say that most of my reactions fall into the irritation category, mostly because half of what is being said to me is just plain stupid.

"It's your fault! You know (insert an-arbitrary-fact-out-of-a-million-others here)! You're a failure!" I could seriously get blamed for a tree blowing away because I didn't nail it down.

I'm generally a rather happy person though. :p

I get sad and suck it up like a sponge and then I think that I must have done some little thing wrong and keep thinking about it. Then I get mad behind the person's back just cursing to myself about how dumb the other person is. It gets really hard to let go of it until a week later which sucks for me.