Ever hurt yourself stupidly?
 

So Monday night, as I was walking back home from a choir rehearsal, reading a flyer for some upcoming concert, I was brutally introduced with a road sign that stood there. You know, just like in those age-old comic strip gags. I hit my head and my knee against it so hard, at first I just stood there wondering what the fuck had just happened.

It seemed like it was nothing but the next day my knee started hurting like a bitch and I haven't been able to walk normally since. And now my other leg's starting to hurt as well, probably from carrying much more of my own weight than it's used to. I doubt my knee's broken but I'm having it checked out on Monday, it's just plain unbearable at this point.

That's my story. What's yours?

I don't think I've ever hurt myself cleverly.

I thought about that, actually! Let's then settle for "in a particularly stupid way", or "notheworthily ridiculous".

You know, like that one time where you burned your genitalia or something.

ONE time?

I rolled my own arm up in my car's window with no distractions, that I recall. Fucking brilliant.

Power windows? I heard you can make fruit salad with those things.

I knocked a charcoal off the top of my hookah a few months ago.

Picking it up with my bare hands seemed like a good idea at the time.

Do you think before you type? Like... ever?

I was pulling apart my Rockband drumset at the end of christmas vacation and one of the pipes was a bit stuck, so I gave it a good tug and the black plastic foot just came out and wacked me in the face in two places. Surprisingly enough, it bruised and hurt for a few days.

Now I know what it feels like to get hit by a boomerang.

My 2-pin power plug was a little bit splayed out so I pinched it together with my fingers to fit it into the wall socket.

GUESS WHAT HAPPENED

http://image.guim.co.uk/Guardian/art...kobal-3262.jpg

He fixes her cable?

Probably the most stupid thing I've done recently to hurt myself is when I went out riding my bike in the rain. The street was slightly flooded and when I went to ride up onto the sidewalk via a driveway, I underestimated how high up the driveway was from the street. My wheel wasn't turned enough, so the edge of the driveway hit the side of my wheel and sent me out of control. I was being extremely smart in wearing sandals (yes, I know sandals in January in the rain is retarded) so my shoe ended up flying off and I had to catch myself with my bare foot. I didn't fall, but I had to slide to a stop with one shoe and one bare foot, which took a beating.

At a friend's house a couple of years ago, we did a sort of little experiment with about 10 sparklers in a pop can. It was really cool, a bright white flame that burned for a few seconds and then went out. Unfortunately, the guy decided to pick up the pop can after it was finished, not thinking that, you know, maybe the flame heated up the pop can as well? Always good for a laugh, that one.

Well there was this one time in Science class when we were doing an experiment, heating something up using a bunsen, tripod, crucible etc. After the experiment finished, without wasting a minute I started packing things away and picked up the tripod by its top. I was feeling a bit, you know, charred, and when I told the teacher, she told me to put my hand in a beaker of water (not under running water; she wouldn't allow it!). Needless to say the beaker heated up pretty damn quickly and I felt rather faint and odd.

And when I was walking up to the office I came across a dead bird with it's head on backwards. My Science room shenanigans apparently disrupted the natural flow of SCIENCE and PHENOMENA---birds were twisting their necks and dropping out of the sky!

Yeah, it wasn't my proudest moment.

I jumped on top of a smoldering fire right after someone pointed out that it was there because I wasn't paying attention. Had some nice burns for a week or so.

I'm so accident prone and clumsy that it doesn't phase me half the time when I hurt myself. It's almost as if uttering "oww" permanently erases the incident from my memory. I was actually impressed with myself the other day when I remembered how I got a small gash on my knee.

Probably the stupidest way that I've injured myself is when I was stomping on ice at work and hurt my knee (as already mentioned in my journal). I had been fine jumping on it, but then had switched to stomping with one foot to focus the force and did it too hard. The doctor said that what was wrong with my knee (malaligned patella) was more likely to be a result of muscle weakness rather than that incident, but I'm not so convinced.

On second thought, perhaps not the stupidest, but instead could be categorized as the most damage done while doing something without thinking about the consequences.

In a misguided attempt at fixing a jammed stapler, I stapled my thumbs together. It took quite some time to remove the staple with my teeth.

One time I was trying to pull the cap off the end of a pencil (it was some Asian stationery trinket) and it just wouldn't come off. I had to apply much force and, not paying attention to which way the pencil was pointing, ended up stabbing myself in the leg with the tip when the cap came loose.

In an emphatic gesture to a coworker, I moved my hands too quickly and ended up slamming it on a desk and bruising it. =[

My doubly-damaged knee. The first time I did it in I have no idea how it happened, but apparently my outline was left on the floor by my hat, cigs/lighter and slippers. It was starting to get better when I complicated it by slipping on ice outside a pub. It's not been the same since.

The best ridiculous accident I had was kicking a toy to my dog on my particularly slippery kitchen tiles. It was a proper cartoon moment; one leg went flying up into the air and I fell back and smacked my head on the floor. After I got over the panic attack it was pretty damn hilarious; kind of wish someone had caught that on camera.

Christ, when have I NOT injured myself stupidly? Just last night I accidentally burned the tip of my nose trying to smoke a bowl with my roommate. Apparently my depth perception was temporarily turned off.

The worst one was when I broke my foot back in the summer of 2007. I was operating a power jack at the supermarket where I worked, and it was a particularly finicky jack. When I tried to turn it around in a tight spot, the thing freaked out for a bit and shot straight back in reverse over my foot, cracking it quite painfully.

In the winter of 2005 I sprained my ankle twice, both times slipping on the ice like a dick. The second time being the day after I felt I was fully healed from it and was able to walk normally. Wrong.

And I mean seriously, I could probably fill this thread with clumsy dumbfuck accidents I've had.

I was the only person in my high school to wear heelys, and one day I was showing off to a few friends until we stopped to talk for a bit. As we were doing so, one of my teachers walked by, and for some unknown reason I suddenly leaned and fell straight backwards. (until then I had never actually fallen while using them)

I've done that too. I was in a laboratory at the time, and started bleeding on my report. (The staple went through my thumbnails.) Not my proudest moment.

I once picked up a machine gun by the barrel after firing tons of rounds through it. Got me a nice blister on my palm.

Not really a stupid injury, but a good story about not realizing what's going on.

I have a pull-up bar in my room... one of those big metal constructs with the elevated pushup things, and the dip handle things. Well, for space reasons, I have the pushup bars removed, so there are these metal openings, which I put duct tape over for saftey... well, since duct tape doesn't last forever, and I know where they are, I never worried about stubbing my toe.

A few months back, I slammed my little toe against it--just barely grazing the metal. It hurt like hell, but I didn't even look down. So I'm still walking around my room and doing stuff. A few moments later, I look down and see there are these rather large red spots on the carpet... and then I look down to see my toe is gushing blood because the metal grazed off a majority of the skin on my little toe.

So, the moral of this story is, when you injury yourself, check and see if you're intact, or you might be spending 30 minutes cleaning up blood.

My most recent stupid self-inflicted accident involved an oven at 450F.

I had a ring on my right, middle finger. When I reached in the over, the ring got caught on the rack of the oven. For just a TINY SECOND, my skin touched the metal.

I am left with this awful looking burn on my right, middle finger.

Aloe plant, however, makes this not so much an issue.

When I was fifteen, my brother pissed me off so I took after him on foot, chasing him through the entire house. He sought refuge in my mother's bedroom, between her bed and the far wall.

Thinking myself a daredevil whose rage would be a sure catalyst for grace, I leapt over a couple laundry baskets so that I wouldn't have to slow down and alter my course. Naturally, one of feet didn't clear the basket and became hooked in the plastic mesh. Down I tumbled, head first, until my face landed on the exposed surface of my mother's bowling ball. I felt a sharp pain and as I lifted myself from the wreckage, I sensed a warm drip running down my neck. I'd bitten clean through my lower lip and would require several stitches.

On top of it all, I was grounded for several days for terrorizing my brother, even though he was the one who kicked me first and set off the whole footrace. As if a perforated lip wasn't punishment in itself.

I've had plenty of these involuntarily stupid-induced injuries but the most recent one that I can recall was a couple of weeks ago when I was in Mexico. See, I was basically drunk and/or stoned for 2 weeks and I came down with a god-awful cold, not unlike the one I have now. When I was forced to sober up because I couldn't go out anywhere anymore, I realized that parts of my body were hurting and I couldn't for the life of me remember how I got the vast majority of these pains. I had a bruise on my thigh, about 3 or 4 bruises on my ribs and another one on my right calf. These were probably induced by some kind of drunken stumble and, according to my cousins, I had more than one of those. However, the one that I DID remember, was this really awful burn I still have on my right index finger and it's only now starting to scar over.

Smoking 3 joints a night to the hilt without a clip is NEVER a good idea.

I was feeling a bit giddy, so I decided to kick off a wall. I landed on my foot wrong and ho shit ankles don't bend that way fuck god ow shit dammit bitch bitch sass BARBARA STREISAND

One trip to the emergency room later, and I'm given some crutches and told it was a sprain.

One morning a little less than a year ago, sometime around mid-December, I was attempting to leave for work despite a thick layer of snow and ice coating the parking lot. It was my day to open, and the district manager never allowed the store to close unless the highway patrol issued a notice that we had to. I got in my car, pulled out of the space, and it refused to go forward. Somehow I managed to perfectly swing it into another parking space, but it was still sticking halfway out into the road and it was impossible to push on the ice alone. I ended up standing out in the blizzard for about half an hour with one maintenance guy waiting on the other one to show up with stuff to melt the ice preventing my car from backing up.

By the time the other guy finally showed up (and the first one had gone), the heat from my car had already melted the ice enough to allow it to back up. He looked at me like I was an idiot, as if there had never been a problem to begin with, and drove away. As he was leaving I muttered "Well, that was embarassing." No sooner had I said that, I slipped on the ice and landed on my side. Bruised my hip nicely, but the palm of my right hand took most of the weight and had a deep gash that bled for about 45 minutes. The scar lasted for a couple months, and I felt pretty dumb every time I saw it.

[QUOTE=♪^___^♪;672992] I was brutally introduced with a road sign that stood there. /QUOTE]

You have road signs in the country where you life?

You are, by far, the stupidest person on the internet. Never touch a computer again. Don't even look at one. Just stop.

I once saw a road sign on the street beside my apartment. True story.

I had done stupid things that could had killed myself. The biggest one to memory is I was 12 or 13, I rode a bicycle around this quiet (not much traffic) neighborhood quite often to reach a friend's house. Just like any other summer day, I rode around the corner and up the hill while I was looking to the left (her house is just on the left side after the street to the left) to see if she was outside. I turned slightly to get on this said street but out of the corner of my eye, I saw a big brown beater heading right towards me.

As I was riding up the hill, she didn't see me or possibly I didn't hear her horn so we just collided. The front wheel of my bike just hit her bumper quite hard and knocked me off of the bike. My brother's bike is pretty banged up and he's outright pissed about that. I was shaken but okay but what's hilarious is the woman of the beater was pregnant and she still managed to lift that bike onto the beater and took me home around the block. I imagine she was a nervous wreck realizing of it all, which is hilarious because back then I was concerned about not getting in trouble for not paying attention to the road! o.o' I'm just glad she drove at slow speeds.

Saw? I once obeyed a road sign when it told me to bring my vehicle to a complete stop.

http://i41.photobucket.com/albums/e2...AndrewRyan.jpg
A MAN CHOOSES. A SLAVE OBEYS.

It's almost as ridiculous as a story I heard where someone thought that ketchup packets didn't exist.

Anyway, my story... When I was 6, I was in the living room doing some work on a desk we had in the room. As I got up, I bumped into the desk causing the really sharp pencil I was using to start rolling off the desk. It rolled right of the desk and the point went right into my right foot. It didn't 100% impale my foot, but it ended up just stabbing right through to give me a nice little scar to remember it.

Another moment was probably about two years later. Me and my brother we ready to go for swimming lessons down at the community center near us. As excited as I was, I starting jumping on the couch. As I jumped down, my knee caught the corner of a plastic storage container. You know those square ones with the two flaps that close the top of it to store crap? Those. My left knee caught the corner of it and gave me another nice little scar to remember it. It was also weird that day swimming with that bandage on my knee. It was waterproof, but it just felt awkward.

I was basically playing with my cat, when he ran around me and into the kitchen.
Standing in the doorway I tried to turn around as fast as I could to intercept him, but I come to a complete stop all of a sudden.

I had pretty much banged my right shoulder into the concrete door frame, at first I didn't realise what happened, but seconds later I had to lie down and laugh a to avoid the pain.
Was like I had a vice pinching my skin, not very pleasant.

I still have a sore from it, it didn't bruise.
It like, crushed blood vessels.

Don't know how I pulled it off, but I did.

About 5 years ago.

Just got off from a long long day of waiting tables.

I'm exhausted. I'm trying to get out of my car.

At the same time I've realized that I've left my keys in the seat, I reach in to fetch them, as I'm slamming my car door.

I slammed my own head in my own car door.

I'm alone. I fall to the ground. Instantly. I can't see anything.

When I finally realize what's going on, I crawl upstairs to my apartment.

I sleep for 5 hours. I wake up and try to call a friend. I can't dial the numbers.

It took me like 5 minutes to get his number into my phone.

He takes me to the emergency room. I've given myself a concussion.

I have to be woke up every 3 hours while I sleep to make sure I don't slip off to dead land.


(... and the secret's out.)

.... that you're a zombie? Honey, everybody knew that. You posted pictures in your journal.

... that I'm brain damaged. But I guess I post those pictures in every journal entry.

as a 4 year old, as most 4 year old boys do at one time or another, I had to pee REALLY bad. so instead of going potty, i just stood there in the backyard holding my little peter to keep pee from coming out as 4 year old logic explains. my dad soon realizes this and yelled for me to stop holding myself and go to the bathroom. this for some reason, made me mad at my dad. I went inside, cleverly locking the door once I got in, to forever leave him out in the cold FOREVER.

in my hurry to relieve the little smokey of it's golden water, I ran towards the bathroom, dropping my pants along the way because I REALLY HAD TO PEE. as I reached the bathroom door, I tripped over something. whether it be my own feet or the bath mat, I introduced my forehead to the corner of the sink. that was the moment I realized you could bleed and pee at the same time. my mother (pregnant at the time with my little brother) found me on my knees in a puddle of piss and blood and of course screamed her f'ing head off for my dad, who was at that point, unable to get inside the house because i'd locked him out.

the rest is foggy to me. I remember sitting in my mom's lap in the car on the way to the emergency room with a cold wash cloth on my head, laying on the operating table and feeling what i thought was stitches in my forehead (turns out to be some sort of numbing meds) as the plastic surgeon fixed my head and then going into the little kids toy room to get a toy as a reward for causing panic, fear and a nice hospital bill. Oh and then we went from the hospital to my cousin's birthday party.

that was the coolest day of 1983 and not even The Return of the Jedi could top it....

so regardless of the fact that I was 4 years old, it was stupidity and ignorance that caused me to live with a scar for the rest of my life.

i'm including a picture of 4 yr old me, stitches and glittery pink panther shirt included, as a reminder to never run with your pants down when you have to pee really bad after locking your father outside in the cold when your mom is pregnant.

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pi...0&id=516165267

I've always liked to climb things, which has led to no end of trouble. When I was five, I climbed a fort my parents had built against our house, and got onto the roof. Combined with the fact that I had just seen Peter Pan, and was convinced I could fly, this then led to me leaping off the top of our house and crashing to the ground (near my sandbox at the time), where I broke my arm in two places (bone popped out at one of them). At five, this was kind of a mixed bag, as it didn't hurt much after the initial event, and the cast was a great weapon to use on other kids at daycare. Unfortunately, the doctor got me with his buzzsaw when he was taking it off, because my skin popped up into the gap, and I ended up with a 3-4" scar along my arm.

More recently, this climbing problem still tends to come out when I'm drunk, and get to feeling I'm a monkey. A few weeks ago, during a party at my friend's place, I got to that point, and figured I would scale the side of his house with my bare hands. Did ok, considering my state, and made it to the second story. Unfortunately, his siding wasn't all that good, and when I grabbed one section, the whole strip came off, sending me out into space. Landed flat on my back in his lawn and couldn't even breath for several seconds. Had a nasty pain in the back of my head for a day, a sore back for several, and thanked my luck I didn't do more.

If I cut off every finger and toe for every time I hurt myself, I would then have no toes or fingers left, and that would be stupid, right -_^ j/k

Speaking of fingers, I remember not long ago I called for a cab, stupidly I tried to open the door by the cars window, the cab closed the window over my fingers, youch!!!

*ahem* When I was small, which I use as some sort of justification for its stupidity, I gave myself a black eye with a belt buckle....*hangs head in shame*

I used to get into a lot of scraps with my brothers when I was younger. One particular time I was running away from the elder of the pair, who, being much taller than me, had the ability to pick me up by my ankles and drop me on my head (still does actually, he did that to me a few months ago). Not wanting a sore and fuzzy head for a few hours I pelted up the stairs, him in hot pursuit, ran for my room and made an epic dive for my bed. Apparently I was more athletic than I thought; sailed right over my bed and went headfirst into the wall. Just to add insult to injury, my parents reprimanded me for being so noisy.

yeah me too and there's been a permanent mark on my thigh since 13.

There was this one time in winter i was trying to catch a fully loaded bus and the urge to get on it took over my rational side so i tried to run through the iced lawn in front of my college. needless to say i fell, butt first 20 feet away from my target. The most stupid thing is i was eye-balled by everyone on the bus, which i eventually got on........

Either my mind is blocking recent stuff out, or the only funny things that spring to mind for me are from a few years ago.

I helped a friend move some junk on a weekend from their garden and stupidly thought I could break a worn soggy bit of chipboard in half by headbutting it, yay for entire weekend long headaches!

The other time involved a beach, a bunch of friends and an inflatable raft, but the only person who actually got hurt was me! It happened when I was the only one in the boat, within minutes of people getting out to get food so it was just me and one other guy left.

He got out the boat as I attempted to row it closer to land, then the waves promptly capsized the boat, tangled my right foot in the handle ropes and dragged me sideways with the currents about 50 metres before we managed to regain control of it. For some reason I laughed during the whole thing, but I can't think for the life of me why now :gonk:

This 3rd thing had nothing to do with me, but as a witness it's too stupid for me not to share, I was giving a bunch of new people a tour of the college I was studying in. Meanwhile behind me as I talked to the group, about a football pitch length away on the 3rd floor of some spiral stairs...

"I've jumped down from these stairs before!"

"haha yeah right"

"don't believe me? I'LL DO IT AGAIN THEN!"

He then promptly leapt from the stairs to the ground, scaring the crap out of everyone which made me turn around wondering wtf was going on. We couldn't get near him due to the crowd, apparently after he fell he said "I don't want to die" and I'm willing to wager he did those legs some serious damage. :(

I consider myself very stupid , yet my stupidity never led to me to getting hurt .
It has got other people to be hurt tho.
I remember when being a kid , my friend jumped on chairs (like kids do sometime), for some reason i tought pushing him whould be a good idea. no need to say the results weren't good.

The window in my dorm room open inwards, and it's this massive, heavy duty one with two handles on either side to lock the window shut. Plus it's almost 5 feet across. Metal. So anyways, I went into my room to grab a bottle of water from the case stowed under my bed, so this required me to bend over. As I was bending back up, I hit my head on the metal edge with full force. Needless to say, my head hurt for over a week, and the initial impact brought tears to my eyes--I couldn't even help it ahaha.

Not entirely stupid, per se, but I was fully aware of the window as I was bending down.

The only black eye I've ever received was from a yoyo accident. Three leaf clover nailed me in the eye.



Nofirefrog

I can think of 2 incidents...

The first one was with a disposable razor. The razor was getting dirty so I tried to getting it out my tapping the razor on the sink. It didn't work so I used......my finger. That was when I realized that the razor will not cut you if you clean it with a up and down motion. Needless to say.... I tried to clean it with a left and right motion. I got two deep cuts on my finger for that stupidity.

The second incident was on a computer chair. (Oh yes they are dangerous). Almost all computer chairs can be adjusted by pushing a lever underneath the seat. Usually the pole that connects the seat to the wheels have this sort of extending plastic tubes (one tube inside the other). When I was younger, I was a curious little bugger (aren't most of us). I had the chair at maximum height, I put my feet around those extended plastic tubes and lowered the seat. The skin on the top of my foot got caught in the tubes. I couldn't pull it out so I couldn't stand up to raise the seat. My brother pulled my foot out. It took weeks before the huge black and red circle disappeared from my foot.

Ha ha, oh WOW. Hurting myself stupidly? I got two moments, one sober, one drunk. Both are equally moronic. Although, my excuse for the sober one? I was young(er) and stupid(er). ...SHADDAP.

Anywho, sober one first:
There's this hill by my place with a sidewalk that has ridges, raises, and cracks in it. The thing looks like an earthquake ripped through it. It's also fairly steep.
This was back in my skateboarding phase. Yeah, you know what's coming.
So, I thought it'd be absolutely brilliant to skate down this thing at full speed. Needless to say, a wheel got caught, and I FLEW. ended up with several gashes and cuts in my legs and face. A few minutes later, my friend comes by and sees me sitting on the steps of a nearby church, skateboard in my lap, bleeding and with the wounds in full view. His reaction? Laughter, of course. Looking back, I'd be laughing, too.

Drunk time! This was a few months back, not that you care. I was into my 5th Screech + coke drink, on webcam with my best friend, who is now in the Canadian military, studying to be an aviation engineer. So, I was fooling around with a piece of paper, and my mic stand was in the way. I had the brilliant idea of putting the paper in my mouth while I drunkenly moved the stand out of my face. So, I left it in my mouth for a while. It stuck there when I closed my mouth, and after opening it and leaving it that way for a while, my lips dried with the paper still stuck there. So, I tried to pull it off lightly, it wouldn't budge. So, I get the dumb idea to just yank it off.
"Hey buddy, watch this."
I sliced open my entire bottom lip. Every time I touched it, it felt like burning hell.
God, I love intoxication.