Crusader (GFF D&D Adventure 2)
 

After an extended period of wild gesticulation and half-understood discussion with the locals, the group eventually secures directions to the dilapidated neighborhood of Stag End. From there, it's a simple matter to locate Lord Broden's home: none of the other residents have a warhorse stabled outside their hovels.

Broden is tending to the steed, half-dressed in a suit of plate. A symbol of Bahamut hangs around his neck, and he sighs heavily as the party approaches.

"Here about the sword, are you? Look, I don't mean to be short with you but there's a minor zombie problem I've got to go resolve. After that, I'm going to sleep, probably for a good three days. Have you got a city map?"

He studies the battered map with a frown and draws a circle around the location of Finagill's home.

"There you go. The sword's probably somewhere inside. If I had the time to find it myself, I would, but frankly I am — to put it lightly — a little busy. I warn you, you're the fourth group to come see me about this and none of the others have come back. Perhaps they just looted the place and then abandoned their responsibility, perhaps something unfortunate happened to them within. I can only warn you to be cautious. Finagill was a paranoid old man at the best of times, and his home's defenses have probably outlived him. He was getting senile toward the end, muttering this word over and over: 'Sarathar'. No idea what it means, but it seemed important to him."

Normally I wouldn't condone this sort of wholesale looting, but I need my sword returned to me and I lack any significant wealth of my own. You'll know it when you see it — it's a silver broadsword with a lion's head on the pommel; 'Crusader' is etched into the blade in Dwarven script. I'm sure I don't have to tell you what will happen should you steal it from me."

Thus informed, the group makes it way to Finagill's abandoned home. It's a simple dwelling; two bedrooms, a kitchen, and a study. There's no obvious evidence of anything magical, or even that the former occupant was a wizard at all.

http://www.saxypunch.com/missile/finagill01.png

It ain't likely that anything fancy will be hidden in the foyer, but just to be sure I give a good look around anyway. After that, I go into the kitchen and help the man-golem search.

I wonder what a single wizard would do with two bedrooms?

Argumentus understood the principle of finder's keepers, taking his time to browse through the absent wizard's cupboards, looking for goodies to fill his belly after such an arduous journey.

Motsognir started pulling on coathangers and lamps and things, hoping to open a secret compartment. It all seemed to simple at the moment.

Well, to be more precise, I hop on the floorboards hoping to hear something squeak, I check under chairs and potted plants and things of that nature, check behind framed paintings looking for any clues, &tc.

Argumentus finishes whatever meal he may have partaken of and wanders the house, eventually reaching the bedroom with Bob. He spots the mirror and moves toward it in order to find any morsels that may have been stuck in his unkempt facial hair.

Gabriel was well aware that sneaky finding of things was not his forte. He leaned against the wall near the bookshelf and flipped through the texts idly, dropping them on the floor as he went. He flipped over the bed, kicked aside the pillow, generally tapped at walls with a gauntlet-clad fist and even stomped on the floor for a bit.

Crazy old man probably hid everything under a convenient bearskin rug anyway.

The party rifles through the entire house, finding absolutely nothing remarkable.

Argumentus finishes his meal of stale, weevil-infested bread and moves to a mirror to clean the remaining weevils out of his stubble. In a typical move, he briefly confuses the face of the reflection with his own and moves to brush off the reflected weevils. Unfortunately his hand passes right through the surface of the glass and, overbalancing, he tumbles through entirely and disappears from sight.

Argumentus falls out of the other side of the mirror with a thump, and finds himself in a cramped room whose contours remind him of delicious pie. Along with the mirror, four additional doorways appear in the stone walls. Four identical statues depicting a young man in wizard's robes stand in a line, staring blankly toward the northwest corner. Five levers jut out of the floor on the west wall, and a small hourglass sits in a niche above them.

http://www.saxypunch.com/missile/finagill02.png

1x2 is 2
2x2 is 4
2x3... 7?
4x4?????

Argumentus couldn't handle the numbers. He plays with the magic mirror, sliding his hand in and out between the ethereal rift, hoping somebody notices his disembodied hand on the other side.

The dwarf walked into the other room, busy reading a book about magic traps in dungeons. Unfortunately he skipped right past the chapter on mirrors as transportation and read the bit on moving walls that throw you into holes what have dragons in them.

Without thinking he reached out and placed the book into Argumentus' hand. He stopped, glanced over and called out:

"I guess the mirror is the doorway, boys. The Big Slow found it."

And with that he stepped through the mirror and looked around.

"Well, doesn't look like anything is rushing out to kill us. That's a start."

The wizard must've spent all his money on magic mirror-doors since I was able to hear the commotion from the bedroom clear across the house. Even if you're a master of the arcane, you must always remember to invest money in good solid craftsmanship! What will your magic do for you when your commode breaks from under your rear end?

Argumentus was fascinated by the single shiny lever. Its allure compelled him to act.

activate lever second from top

The levers are marked A, B, C, D, E from north to south. Argumentus pulls lever B toward himself. Neither the doors nor the statues respond, but the hourglass in the wall immediately flips over. It looks like the sand in the glass will take about three minutes to pour out.

Or, 48 hours forum time

The idea of his time slipping away causes Argumentus to panic. He frantically begins operating other levers, starting with lever D.

Argumentus pulls lever D. There is a pleasant chime.

Ding!

ding dongs the bell

Argumentus pulls lever A

Motsognir, stepping gingerly through the mirror, sees Argumentus pulling levers and quickly tries to stop him before he kills everyone.

Lever A. Ding!

Argumentus shrugs off the dwarf with his mong strength, he has finally achieved a terrible purpose.

Activate lever E

Argumentus ignores Motsognir's pleading and pulls Lever E. Instead of the pleasant ding, there is a loud and unpleasant buzzer. An electric shock travels up the lever and into Argumentus' arm, and he reflexively releases it.

All the levers flip back up to their original positions.

4 damage to Argumentus

The shock just makes him EVEN ANGRIER!

activate lever B
activate lever D
activate lever A
activate lever C

Ding!

Argumentus adjusts his groin plate and pulls the E lever.

Argumentus pulls Lever E. There is another ding, and then a tinny and faltering voice emits from one of the statues.

"Combination. B. D. A. C. E. Door. E. Closing."

Suddenly the reflection in the mirror disappears, and it becomes a sheet of ordinary glass.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm?

Argumentus investigates the statues and then repeats the same combination with the levers to see if the mirror will open.

Argumentus pokes and prods at the statues, but they fail to react in any significant way. He discovers seams in the stone around the shoulders and hips, but fails to see the artistic value in it.

Repeating the combination, the mirror does indeed return to its former state. Argumentus and the dwarves are no longer trapped.

The dwarves apparently dumbfounded, the task continues to fall into Argumentus's calloused and unwashed hands.

Activate lever A

I go through the mirror since it wasn't exactly clear that that was what I was intendin'.

Seeing the man-golem was on a mission, I thought it best to let him at it.

Argumentus pulls lever A. As the first in a sequence, it produces no apparent result.

Arg just goes with it and rushes down the stream

activate B,C,D,E

Argumentus pulls Lever B —

BZZZZT

http://www.saxypunch.com/miscimg/youwashock.png

The levers reset.

5 damage to Argumentus

Arg got the message.

Activate lever A, E

If the big dumb thing wanted to slowly electrocute himself to death, Motsognir wasn't going to stop him. Instead, he started examining the doors that lead out of the chamber, hoping there might be some indication of where they lead.

Argumentus starts over again with Lever A, then E. BZZZZZTTT, levers reset. 3 damage

Motsognir investigates all the stone doors, but they're all locked and no sound is audible beyond any but the door in the southwest, which houses a muffled but distinct hum.

RAAAARGH! Argumentus has become extremely frustrated! He strikes the southernmost statue at the seams.

While the statue neither breaks apart nor responds physically to Argumentus' assault, it does emit a peculiar noise.

Get the Flash Player to play this audio file:

"Wiseguy uh?"

Argumentus pokes the statue in the eyes.

The statue does not respond further to provocations of this nature.

The dwarf sighed and quickly pulled B, D, C, E, A. Just to see what happened. Whatever this had to do with Sarathar, he had no idea.

B. No response.

D. DING!

C. BZZZZT 1 damage

"ow! Cunts!"
B, D, A, C, E

Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding

"Combination. B. D. A. C. E. Door. E. Closing. Again."

The mirror goes blank for the second time today.

The dwarf hung his head in shame, inputting the same combination again because his controller is far too drunk to remember such combinations.

Argumentus shoved the dwarf aside once the mirror had re-opened. This was his thing. He was in the zone.

He begins with combination A,C,B,E,D

Lever A. No response.

Lever C. Ding!

Lever B. BZZT

3 damage

The hourglass is about half-empty.

Argumentus could not be deterred!

A,C,E,B,D

I await in anticipation.

"Combination. A. C. E. B. D. Door. D. Opening."

The door in the southwest corner of the room slides slowly into the floor and vanishes, revealing another wedge-shaped room. Brigid briefly considers doing something extremely silly, then thinks better of it.

The otherwise empty room is dominated by a large runic circle stretching from wall to wall. Massive arcs of electricity flicker across it every few seconds.

The sand in the hourglass freezes in place.

Confident that he's finally solved the puzzle, Argumentus rests in the corner to heal up and leave wizardry to wizarding folk.

I had spent a few minutes browsing the missing wizard's book collection before realising that the Horde had all wandered off. I followed the sounds of swearing before coming across what appeared to be a fairly basic magic mirror door thing. I stepped through.

I found the horde who appeared to be playing with some levers. The big fellow had a slightly surprised look about him and what little hair he had was standing on end. A door was open in the corner of the room and I peered through seeing some form of arcane device. I examined it from the safety of the doorway, hoping that in my extensive studies I had encountered this kind of thing before.

The dwarf sniffed quietly and let his senses and his schooling flood his memory. Nothing immediately religious about this struck him immediately, but he thought he'd look a little deeper anyway.

Arcana check: Success

Argumentus burns a surge: +11 HP

Bob calls upon his knowledge of matters arcane, hoping to understand the nature of the runic circle. This is a warding glyph, with a fairly powerful lightning spell clearly bound to it. It's a fairly common form of security for your more powerful wizards, usually enabled or disabled by speaking a given command words. Anyone crossing the circle will trigger the lightning spell, unless the glyph's enchantment is either dispelled or disabled with the command word.

Of course, Bob's mastery of magic (mighty though it may be) has not yet unlocked the secrets of dispelling.

The dwarf, glanced into the room, muttering under his breath before he turned to the others and spoke, rather loudly as he's prone to do.

"So, what we have here is some crazy old wizard obsessed with a word. Salazar, Salami-star, Klattuu, Verataa, Nicktu... no. What was it? Sarathar? What in Kord's eternal favour are we meant to do with a useless clue like Sarathar in a house designed to shock our retard and apparently stump our thinker so much he doesn't speak a goddamn word for days?"

He growled under his breath.

"This isn't a wizard, it's Pee Wee Herman."

The runed circle abruptly flickers and dies halfway through Gabriel's diatribe, leaving only some burnt stones and the smell of ozone to announce that it had ever been there at all.

Well, that was anticlimactic.

The dwarf blinks.

"Huh. Apparently the trigger was a speaking dwarf. That's a weird way to end a spell."

With that Gabriel swung the holy symbol of Kord into his grasp and stepped into the room. If nothing happened and there was nothing to see, he'd leave again. Before someone started throwing levers all willy nilly again.

Argumentus watches from the doorway, biting his lip. Already it's been too long since he's thrown any levers.

Although it is exceedingly well hidden, Gabriel lingers in the room long enough that he eventually notices the secret door in the north wall.

Lucky, that.

The room seemed safe and the dwarf seemed to have found a secret door. I opened it, bracing myself for the seemingly inevitable lethal trap to trigger.

Bob hesitantly swings open the secret door. It opens onto a squarish chamber dominated by a large altar in the shape of a human hand. As the door opens, a coiled-up mechanical cobra lurking behind the altar swiftly uprights itself. The iron snake, nearly 7 feet tall, regards the intruders blankly. In the same halting voice as the statues, it recites a warning.

"Good. Afternoon. Please. Place. The. Keystone. On. The Altar. Or. Leave. Immediately. You. Have. Fifteen. Seconds. To. Comply."

The keystone may be in one of dem other doors. I quickly pull a series of levers in hopes that it will open a door, not shock me, and leave the other door for my companions.

pulls levers C,E,B,D,A

"Combination. C. E. B. D. A. Door. A. Opening."

The door in the northeast of the room slides open. Behind two mechanical guard dogs sits a plain wooden chest. One end of a rusty chain lies on the floor in front of the hounds; the other end leading through a tiny gap in the wall.

The dogs make no hostile moves.

About 8 seconds into the 15 second limit the dwarf wandered out of the room, muttering in annoyance.

"Stupid old wizards and their stupid old tricks."

He then looked into the northern room and saw mechanical dogs.

"O good. More dogs for Slow to play with. I'm sure this will go fine."

At least he'd figured out the lever system.

It may take more than fifteen seconds to kill these suckers so I just see what's behind the other doors

channels the soul of Argumentus and his love of pulling levers
pulls D, A, C, E, B
then, E, B, D, A, C

Not that it mattered, because the little female did all the lever pulling. That insufferable bitch. >8(

I don't suffer the slow. :mad:

"Combination. D. A.... Okay. You. Get. The. Idea. Screw. It."

Both the remaining doors slide open, revealing 10' square rooms. To the north, a large chest sits against the wall, bound with heavy chains and locks. To the west, a marble block with a huge ruby set into the top.

Brigid hurries across the little room, prying the ruby out of its setting. Even as she turns around, though, the floor starts to give way beneath her. She falls uncontrollably into a 30' pit, landing with a bone-crunching thud in a shallow pool of weak acid.

23 damage to Brigid (doesn't die)

Bob and the iron cobra continue their staredown. "You. Have. Five. Seconds. To. Comply. Four. Three. Two. One. I. Am. Now. Authorized. To. Use. Lethal. Force. BZZZZT. Please. Enter. The. Room. So. I. Can. Use. Lethal. Force. On. You. BZZZZZT. Bibor. Fezwig's. Reliable. Housekeeping. Apparatus. Number. 209. Is. Not. Authorized. To. Leave. Its. Station. BZZZZT. You. Are. Making. Me. Very. Cross."

Biting back a scream of pain, I hobbled onto my (mostly) unbroken leg and leaned against the pit walls. Nothing more magical than a false floor, eh? What a crock of shit. And I don't hear any death above, either. The team must be in good enough health to help me out. I call for them, wishing I had the good sense to go for my first instinct, which was the unassuming wooden box in the northern center room. But ain't it usually expected that it would have the good treasure, so all intelligent dungeon-makers usually put deadly traps in the unassuming chest?

Help me :(

Even though the runty cleric threw all his levers :mad: Argumentus lowers his hempen rope to help her up.

I was beginning to think that a nice, simple battle against an army of orcs might have been preferable to all these tricks and traps. I had never done too well in my mystical traps lessons, being more interested in the throwing destructive blasts of ice around lessons.

At any rate, the big metal snake had decided not to kill me just yet which I had to concede was probably a good thing. The wizard did at least seem to have had a fair bit of cash to have set this lot up so I lived in hope of finding some decent treasure somewhere down here. Some magic boots that made me levitate would be nice and possibly some sort of talisman that would let me summon up a nice glass of wine any time I fancied one, I always thought better with a glass in my hand.

Turning away from the door, I rejoined the others. The child seemed to have climbed into a big hole in the floor for some reason, possibly in pursuit of the large ruby she was clutching. Thinking that the dwarves would be able to get her out with all the rope the were carrying.

My attention was drawn to the other rooms. I had never been any good at lock picking so that room was probably out of the question from the start. The chest in the other room looked fairly harmless, not so the two mechanical dogs which if the snake was anything to go by would probably not stay still should someone rush into the room.

I summoned up my mage hand and sent it floating into the room whilst I stood a couple of feet back from the door. I first went to the chain and gave it a very gentle tuck, to see if it was attached to anything through the hole in the wall. I then wrapped the slack of the chain round the legs of one of the dogs then the other (Assuming there's enough slack). That modicum of health and safety precautions in place, I then floated my hand over to the chest and tried to open it.

Argumentus hauls the cleric out of the pit, ruby in hand.

Bob breaks out of his fugue and investigates the other chambers. Seeing an opportunity for hassle-free looting, he uses his mage hand to yank on the chain. Finding it well-secured, he carefully ties up the sentry dogs to prevent their interference and then pops open the chest.

It's full of rocks.

Ooh, the sneaky wizard bastard, this room looked like a particularly vicious trap. Anyway, appearances can often be decieving, so I used my mage hand to lift the rocks out of the chest one at a time in case there was anything else in there.

Bob painstakingly removes each individual rock in search of hidden treasures. Rock, rock, another rock, little rock, rock, big rock, moldy rock, round rock, broken rock, rock, rock, rock... ooh, a magic wand of fireballs!

No, wait. It's just another rock. All rocks. All the way down. :(

I moved the chest to see if there was anything underneath it, not holding out much hope. I then retrieved a few of the rocks with my mage hand and chucked them into the room with the locked chest, to see if the floor would collapse or anything.

Bob plumbs deeper, yea, beneath the chest. Surely some glittering prize must be afoot. And behold! A shimmering, shining gleam! The telltale sparkle of precious lucre! At last! Bob holds his reward up to the light to examine it clearly for the fine and fabulous thing it must surely be.

It's a rock.
Oh well, better than nothing.

Bob then tosses one of the heavier rocks into the room with the locked chest, hoping to trigger any traps from a safe distance. Nothing untoward occurs. The floor of the room, at least, is safe.

Feeling deeply guilty over taking away the man-golem's joy of lever-pulling :(, I relax awhile, since broken legs and acid burns seem to heal with just a little time.

When I feel up to the task, I go back to the hidden door and hide behind the wall, addressing the voice I heard from there earlier.

"'ey you, still want your keystone?"

Argumentus wasn't about to let any other lucre go to waste. Waste not want not, as the priestesses would say before delivering a brutal whipping.

He investigates the chest.

The dwarf glanced at the mage and questioned: "Hey, is that an augmenting whetstone? Well that's useful at least."

Stretching as he became slightly bored with the whole "everything is trying to murder us" thing, he glanced over at the broken cleric and inquired as to her health before he rubbed his brow and looked around with a sigh. There had to be a keystone somewhere. Maybe those statues. And with that he wandered over to them and started tapping them with his throwing hammer. Maybe one was hollow. Or something.

I didn't know why the dwarf was looking around for keystones, since (despite my earlier confusion which resulted from being dropped into a pool of acid) I was able to secure the ruby and it didn't look good for anything else.

Or did it?

"OH. YES. THE. KEYSTONE. JUST. SLIP. IT. UNDER. THE. DOOR. AND. I. WILL. LEAVE. YOU. ALONE. OH. KEYSTONE. THE. WONDERFUL. TIMES. WE. WILL. HAVE. HOW. I'VE. MISSED. YOU."

The snake's metal tongue rattles around in its mouth unpleasantly.

Brigid's surges -3, HP +23

Argumentus investigates the locked chest. It has, in contravention of all expectations, remained totally and utterly locked since the last time somebody looked at it. In additions to all the heavy chains and padlocks, the entire box is coated with an airtight resin seal. Whatever might be in there, somebody wanted very much to keep it from getting out.

Gabriel wanders around abusing statues for no obvious reason.

All of life's creatures should know the joys of freedom.

Argumentus begins bashing the locks.

"Now what'll I get for such trading of resources? I ain't runnin' a charity, here."

The dwarf slid away his hammer and unsheathed his axe, muttering under his breath as he eyed up those dogs.

"Oh, for Kord's sake" he began "Just give the wizard the jewel and let him use that magic hand thing to do something other than throw me into a pit for a change."

"HOW. SHOULD. I. KNOW. I. MENTIONED. ALREADY. THAT. I. CAN'T. LEAVE. THIS. CRUMMY. LITTLE. ROOM. THERE. IS. PROBABLY. SOME. BORING. WIZARD. JUNK. BACK. THERE. IT'S. NOT. REALLY. MY. BUSINESS."

Argumentus releases the wonderful surprise hidden away inside the box. The surprise is poisonous gas. The box is otherwise empty.

17 damage to Argumentus

The dwarf glanced over and rolled his eyes as the gas erupted in Argumentus' face. He smirked and slapped Mots in the shoulder.

"A gold piece says he tries to fight the empty box."

Gabriel was feeling antsy. He was no great thinker. He was the wrathful fist of Kord's vengeance. Frankly he was considering going to fight those tinker toy dogs just so he would feel, you know. Useful. As it stood he may as well tattoo the name Mots on his forehead and take up loitering, as useful as he was being. He laughed to himself and turned to tell the joke to the closest individual. But then he realised it was Mots. And the Warlord probably wouldn't find it quite as funny as he did.

"Right. Where are we with the magic placing of that gem?"

He yelled across the room at the door what has a snake-rock behind it.

"Oi. You there. In the room. Who talks like... well, I don't know what you talk like. A golem of some sort. You're probably a golem. Anyway, you in there. How does this work? Can we come in there so long as we HAVE the keystone? Or do we like, have to throw the keystone at you to keep from dying? I just want to get these rules in place. I mean, I don't want to give you the keystone if you're going to try and bite our heads off halfway to the holder-thing. You know. I just think its fair."

He cleared his throat and then added, as an afterthought: "O. And did you kill three other teams of people or so? I hear we're not the first to come looking through your crappy no-fun house."

"I. HAVEN'T. SEEN. ANYBODY. ELSE. AIN'T. NOBODY. HERE. BUT. US. HOMUNCULI. JUST. TOSS. THE. RUBY. IN. AND. WE'LL. CALL. IT. EVEN. I. WILL. NOT. BOTHER. YOU. AS. I. WILL. BE. BUSY. GETTING. MY. GROOVE. ON. RUBY. STYLE."

The snake makes that discomfiting rattling noise with its tongue again.

"I. GIVE. YOU. MY. SOLEMN. VOW. AS. A. GIANT. ROBOT. SNAKE. TRUST. ME."

"Let's take a shot. This guy seems legit."

The rush of gas causes Argumentus to vomit into the box, leaving a pleasant surprise for its owner.

Argumentus rests again

Motsognir had been thinking quietly to himself , and, and always, was late to the action because of it.

Arriving suddenly at the immediate situation, Motsognir was confused and at a loss. He walked over to behind the blond woman and threw his throwing hammer at the metal snake, assuming we had already engaged it in combat.

Throw hammer at snake

The dwarf blinked as his shoulder slap brought Mots back to reality.

"You know, I think we need to give that thing the ruby before we get the sword."

He shrugged.

"Just sayin"

BONK

"THIS. IS. NOT. A. RUBY. BUT. I. AM. NOT. OPPOSED. TO. BETWEEN. MEAL. SNACKING."

CRUNCH, CRUNCH

"OM. NOM. NOM. OM. NOM."

The dwarf looked around for a few seconds as the group settled into stunned silence. He cleared his throat as the moment lingered from a passing moment into that awkward length of time that happens after someone tells a dead baby joke at a table that includes a woman who had a miscarriage a few weeks prior, but no one wants to say anything or draw attention to it. So it's just really awkward.

"All right. I know I'm not the only one thinking about it, but now I kind of want to throw the mage at it and see what happens."

I spent several minutes examining the shiny rock. I could sense that it was in some way magical but I'd be buggered if I could work out what it did. I tossed it to the ugly dwarf, surmising that given his race's predeliction for mining he could probably find a use for a lump of rock.

Returning to the others and the big metal snake thing, I used my mage hand to move the big ruby into the room, very slowly and then followed it in, a step at a time.

Gabriel tossed the whetstone into the most convenient place he could find. The lower jaw of his skull-stick.

Bob gradually maneuvers the ruby into the snake's chamber, keeping a safe distance away. As the ruby enters the cobra's effective range, the snake darts forward and snaps it out of the air, retreating to a corner with its prize. Slapping the far wall with its tail, the snake knocks ajar a previously-secret door.

"CRUNCH. CRUNCH. CRUNCH. MMM. IT. TASTES. SO. SWEET. RUBIES. ARE MY FAVORITE."

Throwing caution to the wind, I crossed the room and made for the newly opened door, stopping little distance into the next room as I could manage whilst still being technically out of the snake room.

Argumentus accepts his role as meat puppet and shields Bob as he enters the secret room.

The secret door opens on what seems to be the late Finagill's library and workshop. A hulking desk strewn with tomes and scrolls dominates the center of the room, and bookshelves stand all along the northern wall. In the room's southwest corner stands an ornate mirror, and a table in the southeast is covered with various flasks, powders and pestles. A heavy workbench stands in the northeast, but it is bare. An ordinary wooden door (painted in stony colours for presumably aesthetic reasons) leads south, and hangs slightly ajar.

Conditioning works on dogs, and Argumentus is no exception. He searches the room for traps.

It seems that Finagill failed to equip his work area and study with any deadly traps at all! How sloppy.

Confident in his observation (premature, surely), Argumentus begins searching the room for items, and levers.

Motsognir steps lightly past the snake and into the library. He taps on the mirror, knowing the wizard's fondness for such things, then proceeds to look through Finagill's notes for any possible hints to this sword's whereabouts.

Oh my, it seemed as though we had stumbled upon a veritable treasure trove of arcane knowledge. I scanned the bookshelf hungrily, looking for anything that looked like it might have learnable spells written in it. I then looked over the artifacts on the workbench and desk, sensing for magical auras or any other signs of enchantment.

"Have a seat guys" I vaguely gestured to the others "I could be here a while".

The dwarf chuckled at the mage's comment. He knew well enough this was not a place for his kind. But he kept his shield readied and his axe on his shoulder as he strolled around the room, poking the mirror. Just to test.

Try as he might, Argumentus cannot locate even a single lever. He roots through the room in search of valuables, but most of the objects here are well beyond his capacity to appraise. He does find an intriguing ceramic sphere on the alchemist's bench; it's clearly labeled "DANGEROUS: DO NOT TOUCH" but such a weak attempt at theft prevention is no match for Argumentus' quick hands.

Motsognir fiddles with the mirror. He may think there is something to it, but in fact it is just an ordinary mirror. He rifles through the notes on Finagill's desk, but they are mostly absent-minded doodles of monsters both absurd and impractical: "dog that can teleport", "house that eats you", "mushroom that screams real loud". There is a thin book labeled "Contracts" but all but the first few pages are wine-stained and unreadable. Still, it seems that Finagill kept most of his finished contract work in "the vault". How helpful. All the rest of the papers are nothing but jargon and industry talk. It seems to Motosognir that he used to know a little more about wizardly matters, but all that time on the pommel horse must have jogged it right out of his head.

Bob finds himself in a would-be paradise of learning, but for all the information available very little of it is comprehensible to someone of his somewhat-modest talents. Still, a careful search does turn up a simple ritual book ("Wizard's Curtain") and a few component pouches (20 GP Alchemical Reagents).

Gabriel wanders about threatening inanimate objects again. It's good that he has a hobby.

Realizing she's been left behind, Brigid pulls a bunch of levers for no apparent in-character reason and hurries to catch up.

Gabriel (excitedly poking at the mirror with great fury) abruptly jams his hand through the now-functional portal, smacking his hand painfully into something on the other side.

I cackle in a very in-character manner at the half-missing skull-dwarf, and decide to poke at the stoney door in the east part of the workshop before we go to the next set of rooms.

The door leads to a tiny closet stacked with more tomes regarding ridiculously obscure matters.

The Uses of Alum in the Construction of Helms; and its Role in Repelling Mind-Control

Expedition To The Barrier Peaks

Bibor Fezwig and the Automated Confectionery System

1001 Uses for an Owlbear Pelt

The Halfwit's Guide to Enchantment Transference

How The Lich Hath Stolen The High Solstice Festival Away

Fezwig's Believe It Or Don't

Do Not Open This Book, There Is a Bomb Inside

Nanzi Drow and the Mystery of the Demonweb Pits

Horatio Halfwit was a research wizard of some note so I grabbed the book bearing his name, hoping to learn something helpful.

Cursing at the missing wizard who had left only the more complicated and obscure of his secret powers on display, I resigndedly turned to the sheaf of papers the dwarf was struggling with to see if I could make any more sense of them.

Gabriel felt the situation of jamming his finger into something painfully solid on the other side of a portal was worth some curse words.

So he used some.

And then he glanced over his shoulder and called out to the crack squad of know-nothings he chummed around with. "The mirror is a door again."

He hated wizard houses. They made explaining things very difficult. He took a chance and stuck his face through the mirror, if there was nothing immediately waiting to leap out and cut his head off, he'd step through to see what was on the other side.

if there -was- something waiting to cut his head off on the other side, he'd try and cut its head off first. For something to do.

Fezwig's Believe It or Don't was a sure source of medical curiosities. And medical curiosities meant diagrams that Argumentus could look at.

Argumentus takes Fezwig's Believe It or Don't

Argumentus also moves behind the dwarf while he peeks into the new mirror room.

Bob and Argumentus both pick up some intriguing volumes for later reading.

Gabriel jams his head through the mirror, coming within scant inches of smashing his face directly into a shelf. The little shelf is the only feature of the tiny room on the other side of the portal: it contains three little potion bottles, an iron strongbox, and (on the top shelf) a silver broadsword.

Argumentus attempts to appraise the potions as far as he is able, and checks the lockbox and sword for any traps.

Argumentus searches but doesn't see anything obviously amiss with the sword or the strongbox.

The potions, conveniently, are all clearly labeled: Two potions of healing and a potion of mimicry.

Argumentus pockets one of the potions of healing before attempting to open the strongbox. The hard way :cool:

The dwarf grabbed the healing potion and the potion of mimicry. Remembering a cleric friend of his ranting about this, he figured it was fairly useless for him to have and as he kicked the shelf until the broadsword fell into his hands, examining it to see if it had the markings the Paladin had described, he held the potion out of the mirror, calling out:

"Anyone want a potion what lets you look like someone else?"

He was a Paladin of Kord. Deception was never a weapon he found especially useful. The weak would quake before the might of his god, and the strong were meant to be slain, not tricked. No. Mimicry was not for him.

Take healing potion.
Take sword. Examine to make sure it's the -right- sword.
Offer potion of mimicry to first person who takes it.

Argumentus smashes the hell out of the little iron box containing a dead old man's remaining savings (after pilfering his medicine). The box contains 150 GP and a sizable amethyst.

After swiping a potion for himself, Gabriel examines the sword. It appears to be exactly as Lord Broden described it. A fine-looking weapon, surely.

http://www.saxypunch.com/missile/crusader.png

I took the potion from the dwarf, thinking that a healing potion would have been infinitely more useful. It appeared as though we had found the sword we were looking for although this all seemed rather too easy (Which, I reminded myself was why we took this mission on in the first place). Not that I didn't trust the two warriors but I peeked through the mirror myself to see if there were any secret compartments or switches or anything in the small room. I also looked at the back of the mirror, in case there was anything interesting there.

The Paladin hmmed to himself. As a dwarf he was immediately drawn to gems. He snatched up the amethyst and 15 gold for himself before he almost wandered into the mage's face coming through the mirror.

He brushed him aside and stepped through.

"Found the blade. Damned fine looking thing. I can see why he'd want it back."

He paused for a second as he holstered his axe and slung the hammer over his shoulder.

"There's some gold in there, too. So there's that going for us."

Bob examines the vault behind the mirror suspiciously, checking every nook and cranny of the tiny room for levers or buttons or switches or trap doors. Finding nothing, he resignedly checks the back of the mirror itself for clues. A mysterious inscription is revealed!

"Mfd. 1455 Elegant Reflections
Product of Luskan"

WHAT COULD IT MEAN?

It seemed then, that our work here was done. I looked around for a bag or soemthing I could make a bag out of in order to carry away as much of the wizard's knowledge as possible. Although I understood little of it now, who was to say that in the future, as my powers increased some of it might not start making sense. I also helped myself to 30 gold pieces, a man has to eat now and then after all. With a sack of books and scrolls over my shoulder, I headed back to the room with the levers, not wanting to step back through the first mirror without my pals, just in case the house had been occupied by an army or orcs while we were in the basement or something.

Argumentus pockets 50 GP and makes his way to the lever room with Scary Bob.

Motsognir, having done nothing to aid in this quest whatsoever, nonetheless pockets 35 gold before slipping back to the lever room.

The dwarf wandered back towards the lever room, taking the time to examine the sword as he did so. It really was quite nice. I mean, if you liked swords.

I took the remaining 20 gp and 1001 Uses for an Owlbear Pelt. I let the others go on ahead of me, since this was a really easy project and nothin' in life comes easy.

The party gathers up the remaining wealth and pops back out through the mirror. As they exit the wizard's home, they find the route blocked by a troupe of elves, each brandishing a bow. Amongst the five archers towers a fat and bedraggled ogre holding a massive club.

The elven woman in the lead trains her bow on Gabriel, smirking.

"Friend, what do you say we do this the easy way for a change? You put the sword on the ground and walk away. Nobody has to get hurt. I think that would be ideal for everybody, don't you?

Of course, if you'd prefer to get hurt, Klaus here will gladly provide his services."

The ogre chuckles unpleasantly. He shakes when he laughs, like a bowl full of jelly.

The dwarf grinned, making sure to place himself firmly in the doorway between the enemies and the more frail party members.

"A holy warrior of Kord does not tremble before common thieves. Especially dandelion eating, twig throwing bandits."

He was talking largely to give himself time to get his hand on his axe and position his shield, looking to make himself as pin cushion proof as possible before they figured out he was about to cut them in half.

"You think I'm afraid of you, the day I've had? I know what you came for. Come and get it, you pussy."

http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b1..._H170259_L.jpg

To say I was surprised to be accosted on the way out of the house would be a lie. To be accosted by elves however was rather more surprising, especially ones with an ogre for company. This was clearly going to end in violence.

I edged back towards the safety of the doorway, hoping to reach cover before the arrows started flying. I especially didn't want to annoy the ogre, having had a bad experience with an ogress and a bottle of very strong brandy once.

Hoping to cause some dissent in the enemy ranks I used my ghost sound magic to whisper in the ogre's ear.

"Hey Klaus, why are you taking orders from these flimsy pointy ears eh? I bet those nice shorter fellows over there would be much more fun to hang around with, they certainly look the type to get in lots of fights and I bet Klaus loves fighting! Go on Klaus, hit the pointy ears while they aren't looking, it'll feel sooooo good."

Gabriel flatly refuses any sort of surrender, preferring to risk his life that he may deliver some shiny blade to a fellow he met just today.

Bob makes an attempt to tilt the odds in his favor. Klaus is, unfortunately, not particularly swayed by a weird voice in his ears asking him to draw distinctions between various tiny people. It is true that elves generally make better eating than dwarves, but Klaus is a practical man and sees no compelling reason to confuse matters.

Diplomacy check failed

The elves let fly, concentrating their fire on Gabriel. Luckily, his heavy armor deflects all but one of the arrows.

11 damage to Gabe

:savepoint: Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers

After a predictably brief exchange of insults, the elves opened fire although my friend's thick armour stopped pretty much all the arrows. I unleashed my powerful ice spell at the lead elf and ogre before ducking back into the doorway of the front room.

New frosty ray spell at ogre and closest elf, move back into doorway at j8

I knew this sword was too easily won. Nonetheless, I was fit to burst with anger; where do these city-folk get off thinkin' they can take the fruits of our hard-earned labor? It's bad enough when my team rips me off, I ain't gonna let no ogre get away with it!

Radiant Light at Ogre, bonus to Gabriel
retreat to j11

Bob's first move after days away from combat is to use a spell he's never once in his life tried to cast before. To say the least, he doesn't hit anything.

Brigid makes much the same mistake, but does manage to temporarily blind the ogre on its left side and thereby give Gabriel an advantage.

This blindness does not deter the ogre from hitting Gabriel with its greatclub, of course. It's not a weapon highly dependent on accuracy.

9 damage to Gabe

:savepoint: Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre

The dwarf grimaced as the arrow pierced his armour and punctured his flesh; the pain enough of a distraction that he saw the greatclub screaming towards him only once it was too late. Steadying his shoulder to stomach the mass of the blow, he was knocked slightly to the side as it careened off his upper body, the force causing him to wince. For a moment he allowed himself to worry about what was to come. The battle was joined, but perhaps it was folly to do so. They had not ties to this blade. There was no glory here.

But as his holy symbol wrapped its way around his wrist, tight enough to remind him of its presence, he allowed a smile to slip over his lips. Kord was with him, and this beast would fall before his axe like leaves before the wind. He laughed for a moment before he launched himself forward, slamming his shoulder into the beast's knee and cutting upwards at its thigh and hip.

"I hope you've made peace with whatever god an abomination like you serves, Tall One. For Gabriel Sledgehammer, servant of Kord, will send you to him."

The dwarf spun and lashed out viciously with his axe again, aiming directly for the thing's midsection with the attack. His entire body seemed, for a moment, to glow with Kord's righteous fury.

Second Wind
Righteous Smite
Divine Strength
Action Point
Paladin's Judgment with healing surge to me, if possible. If not, to Argumentus in expectation of him getting shot.

Also, if the ogre activates an opportunity attack, trigger the opportunistic battle-axe's daily power.

Motsognir inched his way between Argumentus and the door, and, seeing the full size of the ogre for the first time, quivered in fear, letting out a tepid, "Go get 'em!" and slapping Argumentus on the rear.

Commander's Strike

Argumentus's opportunity for engaging conversation had been cut short by the ogre's sudden rush.

Argumentus shifts to square N11
Argumentus attempts a sure strike on the ogre
Shield Slam if it connects

Try as he might, Gabriel can't recover immediately from a log in the face. Still, it's just the one log-in-the-face. It's a pretty good day by Gabriel standards.

Gabe's HP +10. Righteous Smite misses. Paladin's Judgment hits ogre for 28 damage. Gabriel's HP +10, again.

Motsognir squeezes out the door to confront the enemy — and immediately decides it would be much better if someone else confronted it. Unfortunately, there is some disagreement on this point.

Commander's Strike — Argumentus' basic attack misses

Faced with a man even huger and dumber than he, Argumentus has no choice but to show him what for. There can only be one.

Sure Strike hits ogre for 12 damage and combos into Shield Slam. Ogre pushed one square west and knocked prone.

With Klaus doing an adequate job of keeping the paladin busy, the archers open fire on Argumentus. The man-mountain's arrow resistance is somewhat less than Gabe's, it seems, and he takes three in the chest. Quite abruptly, Argumentus' world gets all red-tinged and wobbly.

28 damage to Argumentus; bloodied

:savepoint: Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers

The ogre was down and as they had demonstrated against the dragon, if the Horde were good at anything it was fighting prone enemies. Of more immediate danger were the elven archers who were rapidly turnin my companions into pincushions. Hoping to upset their aim, I unleashed a barage of spells at them.

Acid arrow at elf R11, spend an action point, Burst of flame at same elf, move one square west into cover

I'll just commune with the Lord over here, thanks.

Bless the party
Melora's Tide on Argumentus, you know, while we're at it

Recognizing the elves as the real threat, Bob unleashes a colorful display of painful burning upon them. Faces are scarred, flesh is melted, and a good time is had by all.

Acid Arrow: 15 damage + ongoing 5 damage to elf R11, 8 damage + ongoing 5 damage to elves S10, S12

Flaming Burst: 8 damage to elves R11, S12. Elf R11 bloodied.

Remaining out of harm's way, Brigid calls on Melora for every boon she can think of.

Party is blessed; Argumentus gains Regeneration 2

Seeing a chance to cement his position as King of the Mongs, the ogre staggers to his feet, moves to Argumentus, and unleashes an angry smash. The fighter's eyes roll back in his head and he tumbles to the ground.

9 damage to Argumentus; unconscious, dying, and buried in six metric tons of status tags

:savepoint: Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre

The dwarf roared as his friend, Kord be praised he couldn't believe he called the man that, but it was the truth, his friend fell to the ground. Moving to his left he put a hand on Argumentus' unconscious shoulder. His will alone screaming out to his god to bring this deserving warrior back to health. His grip was enough to bruise, the holy symbol, the fist of Kord burrowing into the flesh of the fallen warrior. At the same time he drew a line in the ground before them, before the ogre. Snarling between his bared teeth:

"You come no further, you beast. The light of the god of war does not fear you, Abomination. I will end your life, but beyond this point, you will harm no one."

Shuffle to m10 (SUNK MY BATTLESHIP OMG)
Lay on hands Argumentus (<3 Brady 8( )
Sacred Circle

Argumentus experiences a Second Wind, stands up from prone, and rewards Gabriel's charity by getting the Hell out of Dodge. (arrows can't go through walls, right?)

Move to square K7

Motsognir, suddenly gaining confidence, lays into the ogre, real serious like, then keeps doing things, you know, to help out.

Bastion of Defense
Action Point -> Warlord's Favor (Bonus to Gabe)
Activate axe power, sliding ogre backwards (I assume this provokes an opportunity attack from Gabe and his magical axe)
Retreat to K10
Speak Inspiring Words to Argumentus

Drawing a warding circle around the doorway, Gabriel saves Argumentus from the icy clutches of death for like the fifth time that week. The whole tunnel-of-light thing is starting to seem a little rote.

Motsognir makes a valiant attack on the ogre, swinging his axe like mad. The ogre seems largely unimpressed. Worse, when Soggy retreats back into the house he gets a club in the back of the head for his trouble.

Bastion of Defense: Miss. All allies gain 5 temporary HP
Warlord's Favor: Miss
Opportunity attack: 15 damage to Motsognir
Inspiring Word: Argumentus' HP +16

Argumentus hauls himself to his feet, nearly as good as new. He books it for the relative safety of the indoors, and gets the same treatment as Motsognir.

Technically standing up and fleeing should require two move actions but I just had the ogre do it so fair is fair =/
Second Wind: HP +11
Opportunity attack: 13 damage to Argumentus

Having found the experience of being doused in flaming acid unpleasant, the elves break up their huddle so as to present a less obvious target. Then they shoot at Gabriel some more, since everyone else is hiding.

3 hits, 32 damage to Gabriel (bloodied)
Elves at O6 and N14 save against ongoing acid

:savepoint: Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers

The battle was in danger of turning into a massacre and the Horde were routing, offering their unprotected backs to the rampaging ogre. The elves had dispersed, precluding any more flashy explosions. I stepped back to the doorway and unleashed an ice ray at the ogre, hoping to slow it down if nothing else.

Move one square east, Ray of Frost on ogre.

I shout for the skull-dwarf to get in the house, he'll catch his death out there.

Healing Word to Gabe
move to j9
shoot at Ogre if I can

The beefy ogre doesn't seem to be bothered by a little cold.

Ray of Frost: Miss

With Gabriel's apparent decision to hold the chokepoint single-handed, Brigid does her best to keep him in one piece. As an afterthought, she puts a bolt through the ogre's brain. The ogre does not seem much inconvenienced.

Healing Word: Gabriel's HP +11
Hand Crossbow: 3 damage to Ogre

Klaus has no real choice but to try to hit Gabe with a club again. He finds it a trifle monotonous, and initiates a little game to pass the time while he hammers away at the doorframe.

"I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE... SOMETHING THAT STARTS WITH R."

"Is it a rock again, Klaus?" mutters the nearest elf.

Klaus sighs gustily. "Yah."

:savepoint: Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre

The dwarf growled as the club swung at him again. Finally having enough, he lashed out one more time with his axe before sliding back into the house, slamming the door, and quickly downing a healing potion before throwing the glass beaker at the far wall.

"I really, really hate elves with pointy sticks."

Bolstering Strike
Shuffle back and close door (lock if possible).
Healing potion.

Motsognir moves into the room with the bookshelf, because there was really nothing for him to do except have a good loiter. He was not particularly helpful in ranged battles, especially ranged battles through walls.

Now was not the time to shine for Argumentus. It'll come later...

just wait for it >:x

full defense

Gabriel makes a quick swipe at the ogre before slamming the door shut and throwing the bolt. Now that the entire party is stuck together in a shoddy wooden structure with a single blocked exit, things are going to be all right.

Bolstering Strike: 7 damage to ogre, Gabe gains 2 temp HP
Healing Potion: Gabe gains 10 HP
Please pretend I actually edited the map to show the closed door

Motsognir engages in some light reading. This is a man with his priorities in order.

Argumentus has a secret plan to get the party out of Vietnam their predicament. However, he dares no reveal it lest he embolden his enemies. He hides behind his tiny little shield, waiting for the perfect moment to REDACTED TOP SECRET

Exasperated, the elves draw steel and cluster near the door, trying to batter it down without getting between the ogre and his quarry. Their attempts are somewhat unproductive.

5 acid damage to elf N8, then save succeeded

:savepoint: Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers Swordsmen Swordspersons Stabbers

The dwarf had bought us some breathing room and time to think. The elves and their tame ogre wouldn't take long to get through the door though. In an ideal world, we would set up a series of cunning traps in the style of child prodigy Macalayly of Culcin in his command performance Whate happened when ye childe was left at ye house with no adulte supervision but I feared there was no time for that. Instead, I plotted up in cover, ready to blast an ice ray at the first thing to come through the door not waving a white flag.

Stand in cover, ready an ice ray to fire when the door opens

With a mighty crash, the ogre's greatclub tears through the door. The wizard and the cleric, prepared for this contingency, open fire — and both of them miss.

Well, that was an uneventful update.

:savepoint: Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre

The dwarf realised it was his job to keep the ogre pinned to this spot, unable to move forward. Luckily, he is both dwarf and follower of Kord. So, running the whetstone across his axe he tossed the sword towards Bob, calling out: "Give it to the Hulk" before he turned back towards the ogre. Placing his stick skull in the ground between them he shouted:

"YOU.

SHALL NOT

PASS!"

And then readied his shield.

Augmenting whetstone
Throw sword to Bob to give to Argy
Full Defense

Argumentus had bought himself some time but without any enemies to face his bloodlust has become insatiable.

Argumentus is unstoppable
A Tank is approaching, Argumentus is about to become the tank

Motsognir moves to square K11, readying an attack against the ogre.

Gabriel begins to grow comfortable in the doorway. Perhaps it can be a new home for him. He tosses the sword aside and casually sharpens his axe. #3 Doorway Avenue is a beautiful place to be!

Whetstone: Opportunistic Battle-Axe raised to +2 for the encounter
Hot potato passed to Bob

Argumentus, growing impatient with his distance from the battle, begins to twitch. A thin streamer of drool trickles from his lip, and the red mist descends once more.

Get the Flash Player to play this audio file:

Motsognir prepares to strike out at the ogre, should the ogre somehow actually make any forward progress.

With the sword in Bob's hands, he becomes the primary target of the elves. Two of them squeeze through the doorway with their longswords, and Bob's new robe gets ventilated. The rest continue battering away at Gabe, more out of a desire to clear away an obstacle than out of any genuine malice.

5 damage to Bob
16 damage to Gabe

:savepoint: Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers

The dwarf tossed me the sword and I deftly caught it with my off-hand, spinning as I did so and dropping it at the feet of the big human. As I finished my spin I felt a sharp pain in my side as one of the elves lunged at me, scraping my ribs with his crude blade and ripping a small hole in my new robes.

I cried out in pain and felt my choler rising. As I grew more angry a number of things happened, almost beyond my control.

My will enveloped me like a shield, deflecting the blade to some extent and limiting the damage to my robe. My cry of pain turned to a scream of anger and my robes burst into flames, wreathing my in smoke and fire, confounding my enemy's attempts to injure me further. I raised my staff and blasted the elf full in the face with an ice ray, daring him to strike at me again, the flames and shards of ice flashing reflections of red and blue in my eyes to match the face paint I really wish I'd had time to buy.

Drop sword at Arg's feet, Shield, Fireburst Robes, Ray of Frost at the elf that hit me

Our plan to draw the ogre in the hallway has been stymied, partially because of the skull-dwarf's pride and partially because the other elves got bored of waiting outside. Idle hands make the Devil's playground.

move to j10
Righteous Brand at western elf, bonus to Argumentus

Bob throws up his hand and the incoming blade bounces off the very air in front of him. Incensed at this impudent assault on his person, he wreathes himself in searing flames which burn but do not consume. The swordsman takes another swing as Bob smashes ice into his face, but is made to suffer for this insult as well.

Bob didn't actually take that 5 damage last turn after all
6 damage to elf K9, slowed
Ranged attack in melee range: attack of opportunity. 10 damage to Bob
8 damage to elf K9, bloodied

Finally in reach of an enemy that won't trample her underfoot, Brigid darts in and very nearly finishes off the scorched and frozen archer.

10 damage to elf K9, bonus to Arg

The ogre takes another swing, bouncing harmlessly off of Gabriel's ridiculously heavy defenses.

:savepoint: Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre

Suddenly spinning in place, the dwarf lashed out at the bloodied elf-archer with his axe before sliding away from the ogre and the breached doorway and downing the final healing potion in his possession.

Valiant Strike on bloody archer.
Shuffle back to k10.
Healing potion.

Hewing out with his axe, Gabriel hacks opens the elf's midsection. Clutching at his vitals, the elf slides to the floor.

"I only had... three days... 'til retirement...Dolph! Tell... my wife... I love...wheeze."

An elf wearing facepaints looks on with a mixture of horror and relief. "Well, at least he'll never have to find out I've been fuckin' his wife."

14 damage to elf K9, killed
Gabe's HP +10

:savepoint: Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel

Argumentus moves to pick up the magic sword, stowing his mace while picking it up and equipping it.

Hopefully who's his face won't mind if it's a little dinged.

Hopefully it'll do something. :(

Motsognir peeked around the corner to see the other Dwarf cleaving one of the elves in twain. The hallway was still to crowded, though. He hopped around the halfling to stand beside Gabe, and knowing that his brethren's blow was more powerful, convinced him to take another swing.

Commander's Strike at that other elf

Mots wanders out into the hall and, seeing the carnage that Gabe is wreaking there, encourages him to keep it up. He then returns his attention to the intriguing pages of Elminster's Encyclopaedia of Household Vegetables.

Commander's Strike: 18 damage to elf L9

The elves retreat from the hallway, finding the cramped spaces uncomfortable. They form ranks behind the ogre and resume their original tactic of perforating the dwarves from a distance.

Motsognir's reading is rudely interrupted when an arrow suddenly protrudes between Romaine and Rutabaga. As he looks up in irritation, a second arrow promptly embeds itself in his nose. Wailing in horror, Soggy falls to the floor.

Mots and Gabe both get AOOs on retreating elf, but miss
2 arrows hit Motsognir: 27 damage, dying, unconscious, yada yada
1 arrow hits Gabe: 9 damage

:savepoint: Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers

The elves retreated in the face of the dwarf's onslaught and rather uncharitably, shot the other dwarf who slumped to the ground unconcious. There was little I could do for him, having basically nothing in the way of healing skills so instead I took advantage of the bunching up of the elves to blast them with flame before ducking back into cover.

Flame Burst on square N10, move to H6

I felt bad for yelling at the fragile dwarf earlier. Sure, he wasn't doing anything to help but he was keeping himself alive, which is the primary drive of any man.

I was itchin' to pepper some yellow dwarves with bolts, but there's the small matter of an ogre in the way. Small as I am, maybe I can shoot between his legs'r somethin'.

Healing Word on Soggy
Crossbow at O10 elf
move to j12

Bob sets some people on fire and then runs away. Although the ranged burning is as pleasant as ever, it lacks the essential je ne sais quoi of having one's enemies burst into flame merely from touching you.

Scorching Burst: 7 damage each to ogre, elf O9, elf O10

The cleric, Brigid, did find the unconscious warlord, and declares him not dead. Against his better judgment, Motsognir opens his eyes and tries to remember where he is. He looks up, and a hairy fat man wearing nothing but furry underwear is pointing down at him and laughing. Just like the last time! Why does this keep happening to me?

Healing Word: Mots restored to 13 HP
Hand Crossbow: miss

The ogre takes one more step before once again running up against the dwarven roadblock. His attempt to break through the barricade once again meets with frustration and sadness, and he makes another attempt to lighten the mood.

"I spy with my little eye, something that—"

"Is it a beard, Klaus?"

"Damn it!"

this ogre, so useless

:savepoint: Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre

The dwarf smirked as the ogre's club once again bounced off his shield. Truly Kord was with him upon this day. However, he was battered and bruised and thoroughly aware that he needed to draw the beast even deeper into the home. So he decided the best course of action was to make it even angrier than it already was.

Leaning back he swung his axe in an upwards arc, looking to catch the stooping creature and maybe take an ear with him. Immediately he slipped backwards towards the cleric's position, shouting at the beast as he went.

"You cannot hide. I see you. There is no life in the void. Only death."

http://www.pitodoble.com/imagenes/barad-dur.jpg

Bolstering Strike on fat ogre garbage face
Shuffle to J11
Divine Challenge to I-Spy
Hold the Line

Motsognir, tired of waking up to the same old thing, creeped into another room, mumbling about biscuits.

Shift to square J8
Shift to square K8
Inspiring words to self

Argumentus bides his time by taunting the elves.

"Yoo hooo! I got yor sword!" :)

He prepares for the possibility of the ogre's long reach with a full defense.

Gabriel neatly lops off the ogre's ear, and it flops to the floor in front of the creature.

"Oooh! That's new. I spy.... wait. Oh."

He then brightens. "I wonder if it still works! HELLO THERE! CAN YOU HEAR ME?!"

The ogre's face fills with a sunny smile. "I can still hear myself! My ear still works! You have no power against my magic ear, tiny man!"

He picks up the ear and waves it mockingly at Gabe. "In. Your. Face!"

A shout rises up from the back of the ranks. "Cut off his arse next, I want to see what happens!"

Bolstering Strike: 14 damage to Ogre
Ogre marked by Gabe

Motsognir crawls about on his hands and knees, not seeing the point in standing up again when it just means he'll hit the floor harder next time.

Inspring Word: Motsognir's HP +9 (forgot to remove the bloodied tag, sorry)

Argumentus, armed with a powerful magic sword which the gods themselves have smiled on, hangs out in the kitchen and mocks his enemies. He may also do a little dance; this is unconfirmed.

Infuriated by Argumentus' taunting, but unwilling to re-enter the dwarven meat grinder, the elves take positions alongside the doorway. The bastards have to come out eventually.

:savepoint: Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers

I had no particular desire to get any closer to the ogre or put myself in line of sight of the elves' bows so I stood my ground, launching another fire burst spell through the door into the corridor. If it was a battle of attrition they were after I was just the ranged attack wielding, cowardly retreating elf for the job.

I thought some suitable music would unnerve our opponents so using my Ghost Sound spell, I sent the popular musical hit Please sir, light thee once again my fire by those doyennes of the scene, Take Thee That drifting across the battlefield. I thought the ugly dwarf in particular would appreciate that, he looked to me the kind of fellow to enjoy music from a group of virile young men in tight trousers.

YouTube Video

Flame Burst at ogre's NE corner (L8 is that? The numbers have got lost), Ghost Sound in corridor

At a loss for other things to do, I sit down on the couch and get to my knitting. If the other boys can fix themselves lunch in the middle of a battle, they can't begrudge me a scarf.

move up one square north
crossbow at ogre

Bob's sudden preoccupation with shirtless, gyrating men spoils his aim rather badly.

Scorching Burst: miss (both targets)

Brigid continues to stay out of the way, in a move that is precisely as safe as it isn't effective.

Hand Crossbow: miss

Emboldened by the undying power of his magic ear, Klaus sets out to destroy Gabriel once and for all. He makes some decent progress toward this goal, all considered.

11 damage to Gabe, bloodied

:savepoint: Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre

Sorry for the wait, Verizon is a useless sack of crap

The dwarf winced as the club finally bit into him firmly enough to cause some real damage. In response he shifted down a step, calling out to his god, supplicating himself before his deity in order to find strength in his limbs before he lashed out angrily yet again.

Shuffle to k11
Lay on Hands (self)
Bolstering Strike to I-Spy

Argumentus whistles at Klaus and taunts him instead.

"Yoo-hoo! Big fella me know what ogres want." He waves the sword in antici----pation.

Argumentus readies a Reaping Strike if the Ogre enters the doorway

Motsognir was all healed up and ready for killing.

Stand up
Let's try out that Bloody Ending

With the power in his holy symbol closing up the worst of his wounds, Gabriel lines up the axe; he swings... oh, he whiffs it. What a disappointment. Don't lay hands on yourself the day of a big fight, coach always said.

Gabe's HP +10
Bolstering Strike: miss

Still sprawled on the floor, Motsognir wedges his axe into the nearest tall object and pulls himself upright. That the relevant object is Klaus' now-mutilated left forearm is of relatively little concern to the dwarf.

Bloody Ending: 20 damage to Ogre

Argumentus continues dicking around with the sword and not accomplishing a whole lot, attempting to lure the beast with simple taunts while the Paladin has drawn its attention via a divine mandate.

Still unenthused about rushing headlong into FLAB BATTLE!!!, the elves take a step away from the doorway and continue biding their time.

:savepoint: Bob, Brigid, Ogre, Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers

The ogre was on it's last legs, cut to ribbons from the onslaught of the dwarves and I turned my attention to the elves lurking outside. Clearly anyone rushing out to engage them would be riddled with arrows before they took a step so blindly charging out the door would be foolish.

It was then I remembered the exploding sweets we had procured in our earlier adventure. I tapped the big guy on the shoulder and asked him to drag the recently deceased elf over to the outside wall of the house and shouted at the clever dwarf to throw me the sweets, hoping they'd understand my requests. I then moved to the wall myself, blasting the ogre with an ice ray almost as an afterthought.

Ray of Ice at ogre, move due south to wall

Knitting is so relaxing.

klack klack klack klack klack klack klack





oh, and crossbow at ogre

Ray of Frost: miss
Hand Crossbow: miss
Pattern: Seems fairly obvious

Klaus takes another swing & a miss at Gabe, then takes a step north to escape the flank.

:savepoint: Gabriel, Motsognir, Argumentus, Elf Archers, Bob, Brigid, Ogre

The dwarf snarled as he took another ringing shot off his shoulder. Kord be praised, it did roughly the same amount of damage the ogre ever did. It would take more than slowly adding dents to his armour to overcome the defenses, and the will, of a dwarven follower of Kord.

Still glowing with the mystic energy of his sacred circle, he reached to his belt and pulled out the small onyx statue of a mastiff. Muttering under his breath: "Arf, arf motherfucker" he dropped the animal next to his feet, smirking as the thing suddenly grew into a rather large, rather angry looking dog. The animal positioned itself opposite Argumentus before lunging angrily at the Ogre's midsection. The dwarf, meanwhile, straightened his posture, all but laughing as the battle became more pitched. He'd never been this close to death, and he relished it.

"The dog is going to take a bite out of you, son. But not nearly as large as my axe. You're already dead, and you don't even know it, lad."

Standard: Summon Onyx Dog to i11 in order to setup flank for Arg.
Free action: Spend healing surge to give HP to doggy.
Minor Action: Command dog to attack Ogre.
Minor Action: Divine Challenge on I-Spy

Motsognir took a weak swing at the ogre, knowing the angry human would probably kill it soon.

Viper's Strike

Time to do something. Finally. :(

Move to J8
Reaping Strike on Klaus
Action Point spent
Brute Strike on Klaus

Goliath is once again released from his astral cage, hungry and snarling. He lunges at the ogre, ripping the meat from his leg.

Goliath placed in J11 (has to be adjacent to you, sorry), 10 temp HP granted
Bite: Critical Hit! 9 damage to ogre

Motsognir's strike on the ogre just bounces off one of Klaus' sturdy joints.

Viper's Strike: miss

Argumentus, tiring at last of all his taunting, strides forth with the popular-seeming weapon. He makes a quick practice swing to line up his strike, and then lunges forth at the ogre's throat. The gleaming blade severs the ogre's head from its body in a single blow, and the headless corpse sinks to its knees before collapsing to the floor in an earthshaking crash.

His head bounced away, and the elves gave a shriek
And away they all fled, for alone they are weak
But Arg heard one exclaim as they ran for their lives
"Forget the damned sword, I want to survive!"

Reaping Strike: miss
Brute Strike: 27 damage, ogre killed

VICTORY! 1025 XP (205 XP each)

Hearing the rare sounds of action I got up from my knitting, to see that the ogre finally succumbed to the not-attacks of the no-warriors. Well, I ain't got rights to complain, since I only was able to hit him once or twice. Such a big feller shoulda been easier to target, all the same.

I check his body and the body of the elf for any loot.

The dwarf wandered around, making a point of not stepping on the Ogre's corpse. He was a valiant enemy, he had brought Gabriel closer to death than any opponent thus far. He wasn't going to desecrate the creature by placing his boots upon his dead back. He did, however, keep the ear as a souvenir of the pitched battle. He attached it to the skull stick with a piece of leather and then meandered over to Goliath. Scratching the animal between the ears until the inevitable return to onyx. The dog statue was then dropped into his pack as the dwarf wandered back to join the group.

He clapped Argumentus on the back, smirking from ear to ear. "Aye, that was proper bracing, lad. Nice job with the head severing bit." He smirked and stowed his axe over his shoulder. "Wish I'd thought of it, really. Seems a mite bit obvious in retrospect."

He shrugged.

"Nonetheless, a battle Kord himself would be proud of."

With a deft swing of the sword, the big human decapitated the ogre. Quite why he couldn't have done that ten minutes ago I would never know.

With the death of their muscle, the remaining elves fled, denying me the opportunity to put any of my cunning schemes into action, something I was quite upset about, they really were some very cunning plans.

Oh well, at least we had all survived more or lss intact and still had the sword. I suggested to the big guy that he might want to clean it off and cover it up, in case we attracted any further unwarranted attention on our trip back to town. I didn't hold out much hope of the elf carrying any decent equipment, as he seemed to be little more than a common sell-sword but I eyed up his bow in case it was better than my new one which in retrospect was a premature purchase, the benefit of hindsight eh? I helped myself to his arrows anyway and any more I found lying around undamaged.

I couldn't speak for the Horde but I was tired out after our exertions of the day. I still wasn't sure if my undead companions actually slept but I was fairly sure they wouldn't mind if I did. I checked the wizards pantry for something edible thinking if I didn't find anything I'd eat some trail rations and then went to see what kind of sleeping arrangements the dead wizard had in his house.

"Perhaps it might be prudent if we sleep in shifts tonight chaps, just in case those elves come back with more friends, assuming of course you fellows do want to sleep here and not just head back to town now".

I wasn't expecting much of a coherent response.

"I agree. But I'm thinking the house we just took the sword from, the house everyone is coming to search, may not be the best place. I say we cover up the sword and get it back into town, or at least somewhere that isn't here, and then see about reuniting the Lord with his blade."

Brigid rifles through the personal effects of the dead. Most of it is cheap mundane equipment.

Greatclub, Hide Armor, Leather Armor, Longsword, Longbow, 15 arrows

Strapped to the dead elf's belt, however, is a clue as to how poor Klaus was bullied into their service in the first place; an ivory horn carved into a stiletto more than sharp enough to puncture the poor ogre's layer of blubber.

I sensed that the others were keen to get away from the house and go camping. Sounded like a good plan to me, it meant I could try out my new campfire spell!

I gathered up the elf's arrows, leaving the flashy looking dagger to someone who might get close enough to an enemy to use it, wondering as we left if it might not be a good idea to set fire to the house so any would-be assailants would think we'd all perished in the inferno.

That dagger hurts monsters larger than the wielder, does it? Well it just wouldn't make sense for one of the larger party members to use this, so I took it.

Argumentus sat Injun-style to rest and heal up before leaving for a camp site. He pats his knees to suggest everybody else do the same.

The dwarf sighed as he saw the dagger. Reaching down he hauled the ogre's frame over onto its back and placed the greatclub in his dead hand.

"Poor blighter. Just spoiling for the wrong fight. Fought well, lad. Never any shame in dying on yer feet. Hope Kord rewards you in the next life."

And with that he wandered outside and stretched before glancing over at Argumentus.

"I think the point of us going camping is to rest up before we return that sword yer carryin', lad. I say we get the hell out of here before someone else decides to pincushion us."

Healing surge to full

"I'm not burying that great big oaf on my own. You want his soul to find rest, you dig the grave."

Motsognir took some time to deal with his wounds, then got ready to move on with the rest of the group.

He was tired, and had nothing interesting to say.

Healing Surge until full health

The group takes a moment to catch their breath before they head out to find a place to hole up for the night.

Temp HP rescinded, encounter powers restored
Dagger added to Brigid's wiki
Gabriel's HP +18
Bob's HP +5
Arg's HP +11
Mot's HP +13

The dwarf slung his axe up onto his shoulder and muttered under his breath as he offered Argumentus a hand up before heading out in the general direction of the city proper, while keeping off the beaten path en route back towards the general direction of the Inn.

"I say we may as well bunk down in an empty place for the night. I'm not saying people know enough about us to know where we're staying, but someone knew enough about us to get us all arrested, so I'm not taking any thrice-damned chances."

Personally, he was half-convinced they should just spend the night in the house of Kord, but that's his solution for everything. Instead, he decided to keep his eyes peeled for a nice, abandoned looking space they could bunk down for the night.

"Whenever we get where we're going, I'll take first watch. But one of us stays awake at all times."

I followed the dwarf as he searched for a suitable campsite, using my light spell to illuminate the tip of my staff. If I was honest I was rather excited, it had been a while since I did any proper outdoors camping and this would prove an excellent opportunity both to try out my new spell and have a proper read of some of the books I had nabbed from the wizard's house. As we went, I kept an eye out for any suitable game animals, thinking that procuring dinner might be the best use for my new, second-hand arrows.

The company eventually finds a derelict warehouse to shelter in on the edge of town, and true to his word Bob manages to bullseye a few largish rats (as well as some Insects of Unusual Size). They feast, perhaps not grandly but at least frugally.

Much of the night passes quietly. Sleeping in shifts, no one gets enough sleep to truly feel rested and paranoia runs high. In due time Bob shakes Argumentus from his fitful slumber; it's time to change shifts. Blinking against the darkness, Arg stares out into the silent emptiness of the city outskirts.

Perhaps an hour later, perhaps two (Arg was never much for counting) a heavy clanking sound begins to move inexorably toward the hideout. He readies his weapons, and the noisy visitor at last clatters into view. A man in platemail steps into the firelight; why, it's Lord Broden!

"Good evening, uh, you! I've just come to retrieve my sword, you know. I'm sure you would have dropped it off tomorrow but I'm in ummmmm a bit of a hurry, yes. I must go and fight, err, a terrible demon! Immediately! So please just hand it over, yes! With my thanks and the thanks of..."

(he lifts the holy symbol on his neck and frowns at it )

"...Bahamut. Yes, the Dragon King surely smiles upon your service. So fork it over. Just stop by the house the day after tomorrow and I'll see that you're rewarded properly."

Motsognir pretends to still be asleep, knowing that Gabriel would provoke the situation into a battle soon enough.

Lucky for the party, I've been through meaner times than this and I was quite adept at cooking varmints into passable vittles.

I took the first shift, seeing as though I was in the best shape of the bunch. It was well past my bedtime of 8:30, but I ain't lettin' no feudin' elves get the best of us. Reminds me of the early days back home, when we were still feudin' with the Davises. Legend had it it started when Old Jeremiah Davis stole my great-great-granddaddy's shoes just before a rainstorm; well, he ain't take kindly to that, no Conmara can countance thievin' scoundrels. It eventually ended when the Davises, weak from inbreeding, all succumbed to typhoid. Just goes to show ya, don't keep it in the family.

I was quite tired when my watch was over, so you can imagine how riled I got when I heard a stranger's voice in our camp. That it was "friend" and not foe didn't help. A weaker person would just bury themselves in their covers, and bear fur blankets are quite comfortable, but I know my manners so I greeted the Lord.

"Mornin', Lord! Pardon me for askin' why you're back so soon though. Ain't there be some zombies or sommat you were persuin' yesterday?"

"Oh the... zombies! The zombies, yes. That turned out to be nothing. Just old man Witherspoon in a zombie mask the whole time, tryin' to scare people away from his watermelon patch. Why, if it weren't for those meddling kids and their dog, he might have gotten away with it. At any rate, a much more dangerous opponent is at hand! A fearsome werewolf is haunting the old fairgrounds! To say the least I must go and slay it immediately but without my silver sword it shall surely rend me to pieces. Werewolves, you know. They hate silver!"

"Well, it jes' don't seem right to me that someone of your high stature and importance in the community is running around fixin' all these monsters. I mean yes it's right neighbourly of you, but ain't you got paperwork and lordin' and all that to do?"

Broden seems crestfallen, and his brow furrows.

"Well, to be honest, I'm a Lord in name only. It's a ceremonial thing, I was knighted by the Duke for my community service work. It's fairly routine, although normally those honored are bards and actors, things like that. In retrospect I should have refused the honor, it brought me a lot of undesirable attention."

He coughs.

"Sooooo. Werewolf. Sword."

Out in the darkness, a sonorous howl cuts through the night.

"Pretty please?"

Argumentus sets about waking up the other party members in a most unbecoming manner.

He then moves to confront Lord Broden.

"You come in dark and deman sword we not know why? You say hunt demon but now you fight doggy! Your story have incon... inca... incontinence! WHO YOU!?"

Intimidate

Roused early from my slumber, I found the big chap chatting to what at first glance appeared to be the lord who tasked us with this quest in the first place. It seemed a remarkable coincidence that he had found us in this whole city so I pretended to remain asleep while trying to sense any sort of magic afoot here, aware that I was probably not the only person in the city with the powers of illusion (Even if mine were only in potion form).

After shaking the rest of the party awake, Argumentus proceeds to grill Broden about the inconsistencies in his story. The paladin is unimpressed.

"Oh, that's.... it's a demon werewolf! Half demon, half werewolf, all evil. I've seen it myself! It's quite terrible. But, ah, he's not going to kill himself! Soooo, sword. Ahem."

The howl breaks through the darkness again, sounding a little more malevolent and demon-like this time.

Intimidate: Failed

Argumentus wakes Bob from his slumber, and he attempts to get his bearings while he surreptitiously smooths out his bed head. Honing his sense of the arcane on the surroundings, he detects nothing amiss until a howling sound breaks the awkward silence between Broden and his interrogators. He squints in the direction of the sound, and the nearly-invisible ripples of a just-cast Ghost Sound linger momentarily in the shadows a few yards to his west. Treachery!

Detect Magic: Success

Whoever we were talking to was clearly up to something although quite what I could not determine. It seemed to me we would achieve nothing through out and out confrontation though. After all, the only reward we had been promised was whatever loot we found at the wizard's house so it didn't really matter who we gave the sword to but the help of a proper lord, assuming our employer had been one and this was not he, would be invaluable in finsing out who had chucked us in that dungeon.

I used my own ghost sound spell to whisper in the ears of each of my companions "There is no wolf, there was a spell cast from over in the shadows, be on your guard and let's try to figure this out before we start killing people". I had no idea if they'd understand me or not but it wouldn't hurt to try I figured.

I got to my feet and engaged Broden in conversation, keeping my senses alert for any further magic activity from the shadows and leaning nonchalently on my staff, that being the best excuse I could think of to have it to hand.

"So, Broden, it was mightily fortuitous of you to bump into us here. Had we known you were engaged in such a noble pursuit, we would have hurried to meet you and not wasted time resting up in this out of the way warehouse. I'll admit I'm surprised that you needed us to go and fetch such a simple thing as a silver sword from that wizard's house though. I mean, you can get silver weapons from most good weapon shops, there's no need to employ a wizard for such things although I must admit it wasn't particularly well hidden, the big mechanical walrus was practially helpful, not a threat at all"

My reasoning was that if this Broden had been inside the wizard's house, he might show some reaction to the mention of a walrus, as it was actually a snake. A simple ruse, granted but I had just woken up and thinking on the fly half asleep was never a skill of mine.

As I spoke, I sidled over towards the shadows, hoping to get a better view of what might be there aqnd hoping whatever or whoever it was wouldn't realise I was on to their ruse.

This night is full of suprises. The idiot city lady has shown some cleverness after all. Not about telling us about the ruse, that seemed simple enough, but rather that she was bright enough to tell us instead of letting us figure it out for ourselves. Looks like the prior battle twigged these people onto working as a team, not as five separate people who just happen to be in the same place at the same time.

It's rude to interrupt a line of questioning, so I took the time to study Lord Broden's appearance. Does he lie about his faith as he does about his quarry?

religion check

As the line of questioning continues, Argumentus begins moving around "Lord Broden," sizing him up and sandwiching him within the party.

"Yes" says Broden to Bob, "but it is not merely the silver that makes it valuable. The blade has been blessed by Bahamut himself, and is therefore a deadly weapon indeed in the hands of his pilgrims."

Broden coughs.

"You know, such as myself. Obviously, so long as the blade is out of the hands of the righteous, evildoers will seek to destroy it or hide it away, since it presents such a terrible threat to them. Now, friends, you are clearly none of you evildoers. But neither are you invincible! I should hate for something horrid to happen to you all in defense of the blade, since you know not of the vile powers arrayed against you. Cruel as it is, there are surely many who will value the sword far more than they value the sanctity of your lives.

Finagill never mentioned any walrus to me, but it surprises me not at all. He was quite mad in his last days, and a walrus golem is precisely the sort of ridiculous thing that might appeal to his senile mind. For my part I stayed well out of his workshop; I make it a point to avoid magery whenever I can feasibly do so. It is curious stuff and well beyond my understanding."

Bob sidles gradually to the side as Broden answers, seeking the source of the Ghost Sound. He finds his answer quite abruptly, nearly stumbling over a dwarven figure crouched in a doorway. The stocky fellow immediately leaps to his feet, and the firelight flickers harshly over his soot-grey skin.

"Good evening, uh, ma'am! Are you in charge of kitchen purchases for your household? I have here a fine assortment of — (he rifles through his pockets) knives and uhhh (he points a thumb at the warhammer strapped to his back) this durable crab mallet! Well, nevermind, I can see you've got company over so I won't take up any more of your time!"

The grey dwarf begins tiptoeing backward, very slowly.

Brigid casts a critical eye on Broden. On the surface, at least, nothing seems awry about the man or any of his apparatus.

All the same, Argumentus moves between Broden and the doorway, blocking any sudden exit.

http://www.saxypunch.com/missile/warehouse1.jpg

The dwarf sat bolt upright as the large fighter kicked him. He sort of blundered several words as he blinked bleary eyes and quickly searched for his axe and shield.

"How's my hair?"

http://www.tnmc.org/dp/pics/gclooney.jpg

He rubbed his eyes with the back of his fists as he pulled on his gauntlets and slowly sat up. While the conversation went on, he yawned, stretched, hoisted his axe up over his shoulder and kept his eyes focused on Broden. No Paladin would hold himself like this. Especially not a Paladin of that pious fucker, Bahamut. This man was an impostor. However, the impostor was toe to toe with Argumentus, so he wasn't the issue. The moment Bob tripped over the dwarf, however, he began slowly shuffling over towards the little blighter.

His axe was dropped to drag noisily across the ground as he approached, standing to Bob's left and glowering at the grey dwarf before he spat on the ground and began to speak.

"I imagine there's a horse waiting for you outside you'll want to get on before somebody murders you. Someone who gives a fuck about right and wrong" he said, indicating Argumentus with a nod of his head, "or I do."

"It's there, boy. Right outside this house. Freedom. So why don't you tell me how many of you there are here."

He leaned in and slit his eyes, all but glowing with the fearsome might of Kord.

"Then run for your fucking life."

http://velocide.com/user_uploads/Swearengen1.jpg

After a long moment of silence, Gabriel lifted his axe to his shoulder and leaned in close.

"You would not want to be staring like that at me."


Religion check to be sure that Broden isn't Broden.
Move to stand in panel beneath Bob
Intimidate on dwarf, that limp-wristed cock sucker.

Motsognir was ready to attack, but had never been much for provoking. He much preferred being the one who stepped in just after, attacking in defense. He took one step towards the Broden figure, just in case.

Gabe takes a good hard look at the intruder. He doesn't see anything amiss either, but who can be sure? At any rate, the circumstantial evidence seems strong enough and he proceeds to browbeat the gray dwarf into a quivering heap of jelly.

Intimidate: Success

The gray dwarf begins backpedaling ever faster, stumbling over chunks of ruined furniture and broken crates. "Broden" rolls his eyes, and the next words out of his mouth come not in the paladin's clipped baritone but in the harsh and sibilant rasp of a tired woman with something working on her last nerve.

"HOLD IT! Don't you try to run away from me again, Karl. You know what'll happen if you do, and frankly I'm runnin' out of thumbscrews. Rolf, Iggy, come on out. It appears these fine folks have called our little bluff."

A smirking halfling steps out of a doorway to the north, finger on the trigger of his crossbow. To the east, a hulking creature like a goblin crossed with a grizzly bear steps out of a stairwell.

"Broden" lifts his steel breastplate over his head, and as the armor crashes to the floor the paladin's noble features vanish entirely. The figure that remains is not human in the least. A mane of white hair hangs down over her bluish-gray face, and her large unpupiled eyes seem quite comfortable in the darkness.

She shrugs off what's left of Broden's armor, and the black leathers underneath leave all but her smirking oval face nearly invisible in the gloom.

"As long as we're sharing secrets, let me lay the rest of the cards on the table. This Broden you so honorably want to return the sword to, well. He's in no condition to grant you any favors, let's put it that way. He put up a good fight, though. There were six of us when we jumped him. Then to find out he didn't even have the damn sword yet because you clowns decided to go camping! Let me tell you, it's been a long day."

She pulls the symbol of Bahamut from around her neck and throws it to the floor. It shatters like glass, the dragon god's power having fled it. The shapeshifter cocks her head at Gabriel and smiles.

"That's the story, mighty mouse. How do you want to play out the finale? We can all still go home with our heads attached. Do the smart thing, hmm?"

http://www.saxypunch.com/missile/warehouse2.jpg

The dwarf grit his teeth hard. He felt like hell from the fight before. He knew if he was still aching, his friends were, too. He glanced over in Bob's direction, perking a brow and shrugging as he kept his axe hefted, and one eye on the dwarf infront of him.

"Well, you certainly got the drop on us, donthcha face-changer? Well now. This certainly has an effect on the landscape."

Argumentus always loved his momma
She taught him good things, Bad things
'Don't trust white people, don't trust white people.
Don't trust white people, they're no good, they're no good,
they're no good, they're no good.
They're just gonna rip you off, they're just gonna rip you off.
Don't trust 'em, don't trust 'em.'

Doppel's gonna die tonight
"GET HER!"

Sure Strike on the Doppelganger
Shield slam if it connects
Move a space north if Shield Slammin
Claim that initiative

Though hoping to avoid a fight, the doppelganger's crew is more than prepared for one. Argumentus' sudden assault surprises nobody, but he does claim the initiative. Smashing the sword's hilt into the back of her head, he shoves the doppelganger to the floor. She clutches at her head and mutters "Why don't they ever do it the smart way?"

Sure Strike: 5 damage
Shield Slam connects; Doppelganger is pushed and knocked prone

The halfling across the fire reacts almost instantly, firing his crossbow at Argumentus. The tiny quarrel sinks into his bicep, but the big man almost laughs it off — until he feels the poison start to sap his strength.

7 damage to Argumentus; slowed, 3 ongoing poison damage (save ends both)

:savepoint: Bob, Brigid, Bugbear, Doppelganger, Duergar, Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling

With a roar, the big chap kicked off the seemingly inevitable fight, hurling the shapeshifter to the floor. I moved to the south, hoping to distance myself from any melee combat, hurling an ice ray at the big goblin thing, hoping to slow it's advance.

Move south three squares, Ray of Frost at Bugbear

Towering slightly over the prone doppelganger, I take the opportunity to size up the situation. Get a good yawn in, stretch t' avoid muscle damage later, that sort of thing.

Switch mace for horn dagger
Righteous Brand at doppelganger, bonus to Motsognir
Action Point
Wrathful Thunder at doppelganger

In typical form, Bob looks around the battle for somebody who looks vulnerable to cold and selects the hulking fur-covered monster. Bob does not cope well with having his beauty sleep interrupted.

Ray of Frost: miss

With the doppelganger already on the floor with a head wound, Brigid takes the opportunity for a good ol' boot-to-the head.

Righteous Brand: miss
Wrathful Thunder: 7 damage to doppelganger; dazed

The Bugbear shifts southwest and takes a swing at Motsognir with his shortsword.

6 damage to Motsognir

The doppelganger staggers to her feet, wavering back and forth and muttering a string of curses vile enough to make Motsognir's mustache wilt.

Doppelganger stands up

The duergar moves northward, carefully lining up his hammer with Gabe as a fiery bolt erupts from it. "It's just like my job, okay?!" he shouts. "Don't take it personal!"

14 damage to Gabe

:savepoint: Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling, Bob, Brigid, Bugbear, Doppelganger, Duergar

Motsognir, too busy looking horrified from whatever that bear thing is to do anything himself, thinks happy thoughts about the human.

Give Arg a saving throw with Shake It Off
Commander's Strike -> Arg to Doppelganger

The Paladin glared at the magic user as his powers burned across his skin. "When this is over with, you'll be lucky if I don't wear your skin like a cape. I only do that when it's personal."

And with that he turned and charged at the doppleganger, holding his holy symbol before him and cursing her very existence, as it is an abomination in the face of his God. Sliding to a stop and slicing out with his axe, snarling as he looked to end this fight as soon as possible. He was in no shape to withstand a long, drawn out fight. Still, he'd show no weakness.

"Kord doesn't wilt in the face of your mockery of existence, monster."

After this battle, if he should survive, he would make a point of returning the fallen warrior's armour to the temple of Bahamut.

move to p10 in order to set up combat advantage with mots.
Divine Strength.
Righteous Smite on Dopple.

Already dazed and flanked Argumentus lets loose with a Reaping Strike to really put the hurt on Moonface.

Argumentus marks the Doppelganger.

Soggy reaches over the fire and gingerly plucks the bolt out of Argumentus' arm. He's still too wobbly for the moment for his next swing to connect.

Shake It Off: Success, Arg's status cleared
Commander's Strike: miss. Sword ticks up to +3.

Knowing that he must end the battle quickly, Gabriel charges the doppelganger and swings with the full strength that he can muster. She probably didn't need those intestines anyway.

Righteous Smite: 29 damage to Doppelganger; bloodied

Arg piles on the hurt, taunting the battered doppelganger.

Reaping Strike: 17 damage to Doppelganger; marked

The halfling fires a bolt into Brigid's back, but a lifetime of eating things pulled out of a swamp allows her to shrug the poison off.

8 damage to Brigid

:savepoint: Bob, Brigid, Bugbear, Doppelganger, Duergar, Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling

The dwarf snarled and smeared the blood from his axe across his shield, flicking spatters of it in the Duergar's direction. A nice little reminder. The scent of blood, the feel of it slipping down across his wrists beneath his gauntlets, immediately all thoughts of hesitation were gone. Kord would show him the way. And the way was through destruction of his enemies. Righteous vengeance was a thing to behold.

The Horde skillfully launched into battle plan A, also known as all gang up on the leader and hit them as hard as possible until they die. I was still fatigued from our earlier battle and wouldn't be able to use my more powerful magiks without a longer rest. The shapeshifter was staggering under the onslaught of the warriors and I had another go at using my new ice spell, hoping to actually hit something with it this time.

Icy Rays on Doppelganger and Halfling (I can't remember if there's a range limit for the second target, if there is and the halfling is too far away I'll go for the Bugbear instead)

Bob splays his fingers into a wide fork, sending cruel daggers of elemental ice darting in each direction. The halfling manages to duck at the last second, but the battered and disoriented doppelganger is hit square in the stomach. The ice rapidly spreads over her blood-soaked body, and she looks down in horror, barely able to comprehend. "No!" she cries. "My beautiful wickedne—"

The ice stops her mouth, and she is silent.

Icy Rays (Doppelganger): Critical Hit! 18 damage; kill
Icy Rays (Halfling): Miss
I have to stop creating battle scenarios with obvious targets. Next time: 400 angry puppies with knives taped to their heads.

:savepoint: Brigid, Bugbear, Duergar, Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling, Bob

"Aha", I cried as the frost spread across the corpse of the doppelganger, "Why don't you just chill out?".

I chuckled to myself, rather pleased with my sharp tongue and quick wit.

I pulled the halfling's bolt out of my side, and smelled the head. It smells like.. wait... yes, rattlesnake venom, and gila lizard blood to give it extended durability in the body at the expense of noxiousness. I can see where they were going with this concoction, but my personal preference is for goblin bile instead of gila lizard blood. Its deleterious effects are compounded, in addition to acting as a preservative. I keep a goblin around the homestead for this very purpose, which is why I know how to communicate with them so well. He don't mind none, I feed him right except every week or two I give him a stew of thistle and rapeseed and up it comes.

You betcha.

Anyway, it ain't right for folks to fight their kin, even if they're opposin' each other. Feudin's one thing, that's personal and ain't nobody gonna stop you from satisfaction. But I ain't got no quarrel with this'un. Why come he thinks he can try to poison me? A doctor? It can't stand, it can't.

"You there! Did you grow up in a barn that you forgot your manners like this? Your daddy a passing tom in a rut, your momma ain't live more'n three years before she got crushed by the horses? I'mma learn you some manners."

I switched to my mace, the dagger being useless for the coming battle. As I came in for the swing, I shouted the same thing heard ringing countless times in the hills of my home:

"MIND YOUR ELDERS!"

move to m12
Avenging Flame on Halfling
the epic battle has begun
http://yepyep.gibbs12.com/wp-content...006/11/lg1.jpg

"What the—"

The enemy leans back, narrowly dodging the flame-wreathed mace Brigid swings at his head.

"Aunt Brigid, what are you doing? You're embarrassing me in front of my friends! I told you a million times, I'm an adult now! You can't just set me on fire whenever you feel like it! 'Iggy, take out the garbage or I'll burn your face off. Iggy, feed the pigs or I'll incinerate you.' Well, not any more! Today, it's you who gets burned! By... uh... this... sword here, I guess... ANYWAY YOU CAN'T PUSH ME AROUND! I'LL POISON YOU TO DEATH IF I FEEL LIKE IT! I HAVE RIGHTS!"

He waves his stubby little arms in fury.

Avenging Flame: miss, 6 damage.

The bugbear circles around Motsognir and flanks Brigid, but his shortsword swing misses anyway.

The duergar backs up another step, and swings his hammer into the wall. The dilapidated building shudders, and debris from the second floor rains down on the party through holes in the ceiling. Argumentus, Gabriel and Bob are all battered about the head by chunks of wood and sent sprawling to the floor.

"Stay away from me!" he shouts. "I swear, I'll bring the whole building down on top of you!"

9 damage to Arg, Gabe, Bob. Gabe bloodied, all 3 knocked prone

:savepoint: Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling, Bob, Brigid, Bugbear, Duergar

Motsognir, thanking himself for not standing with the others, laughs loudly. "Aha! It's not me this time! aHA!" He hopped over to stand on the dead Doppelganger and swung his axe at the Bugbear, sick of it and it's face.

Shift to southwest.
Inspiring Word to Gabe
Viper's Strike on BugBear. If it connects, GreatAxe push that fucker into the campfire.

The dwarf grunted as he pushed himself up from under the mass of debris. The sound of Mots' voice had dragged him back from his dazed state, and bracing his axe against the ground he pushed himself up to his feet. He flung a bit of debris at the Duregar, snarling derisively.

"You've shot me with mystic energy and you've dropped a thricedamned house on me, and I'm still standing, kinsman. Let me explain it to you in a way your rat-eaten brain can comprehend. You're a sellsword. You only get paid if you survive another day..."

He took a deep breath and hurled another piece of house at the creature's feet.

"If you haven't noticed, we're winning this little fucking war, and Kord himself smiles upon me. So start pointing those little tindersparks at your friend with the crossbow and his hairy compatriot and you can walk away from this, or I swear to whatever god you worship I will cut your head from your body and use it as a piss pot. Pain or damage don't end the world. Or despair, or fucking beatings. The world ends when you're dead. Until then, you got more punishment in store. Stand it like a man... and give some back. And I get the impression I'm better at doin' both, son."

He turned to glare at the bugbear as it caught flame, kicking a brick off his foot.

"As for you. I hope you're ready for me. And if you are, you'd best quit your fucking day job, 'cause being ready for me'll take care of your wakin' hours, and you'd better have someone to hand the task off to when you close your fuckin' eyes."

Stand from prone
Intimidate on Druegar so he starts shooting at the bad guys or just leaves.
Divine Challenge on Buggy Bear.
http://www.vinmag.com/online/media/g...odlg/TVHB2.jpg

With the bugbear out of reach Argumentus stands up from prone and shakes the plaster off of his head.

Second Wind

Soggy smoothly circles behind the bugbear, aiming his heavy axe at the goblinoid's center of gravity. At the last moment he turns the grip and strikes the hairy beast with the flat of the blade. The bugbear wheels his arms and stumbles helplessly into the roaring campfire, provoking him into the only vocalization he's made since his arrival.

"MY FLESH! IT BURNS!"

Inspiring Word: Gabe's HP +14
Viper's Strike: 12 damage to Bugbear
Staggering Greataxe Power: 7 damage to Bugbear, and 3 ongoing

Staggering to his feet and brushing splinters out of his beard, Gabe does his best to re-intimidate the duergar, but the gray dwarf's having none of it.

"That's just it, flatlander. You talk a good fight but how dangerous can you be when you can't even dodge a house? I mean, really, nice reflexes there. I'll put you on my list of dangerous threats, right under snapping turtles."

Hoping to impress somebody, Gabriel turns his derision on the bugbear. This seems to be more effective, though it's hard to tell with the screaming and the thrashing and the burning fur stink.

Intimidate: Fail
Bugbear marked

Argumentus crawls out from under the avalanche to find that some kind soul has put leftovers back on the fire! His heart is warmed by this considerate gesture.

Argumentus' HP +11, defenses +2

"This is for the time you put little Fluffy into a stew and told me he 'wandered off'!", Iggy screams, thrusting his sword at Brigid's shoulder. It bounces harmlessly off the chainmail, and his face twists up in rage.

"AUGH, YOU ALWAYS RUIN EVERYTHING!"

:savepoint: Bob, Brigid, Bugbear, Duergar, Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling

It seemed our fearless dwarf was not the only of his kind with a penchant for destroying buildings. Knowing that it was safest to stay low in the event of a building collapse, I crawled away into the corner, hoping that the beams there would be rather stronger than the roof in the middle of the room. Seeing that the big monster was no fan of being on fire, I compounded it's misery with a burst of eldritch flame.

Crawl as far south and west as the building and my move rate allows. Flame Burst one square west of Bugbear

I cackled at Iggy's useless attack.

"Who took your family in when no one else would, on account'a your daddy bein' a drunk and a leper? I did! Who tried to teach y' how to fish and hunt, and take care'a y'self, on account'a your daddy dyin' from leperoic cirrosis? I did! Who went out at the crack of dawn every mornin' to administer healin' t' earn enough for you to go to bard school in the big city? I did! And when you got beat up by the kids at school cuz you ain't carry a tune worth a damn, who taught you how to hide dead fish in their lutes so that they wouldn't figure out where the smell came from? I did!"

"And this is how you repay me. You ain't so big I can't put you over my knee!"

And then I did just that.

Attempt to bend Iggy over my knee and spank him with my mace
Healing Word to Gabriel at some point too

Seeing the injuries heaped on the bugbear by its being on fire, Bob then sets it on fire... even more! Somehow, this works.

7 damage to Bugbear; bloodied

Contrary to her assertions, Iggy is in fact too big for Brigid to put over her knee. Still, it's hilarious to watch her try.

Grab attempt fails
Healing Word: Gabriel uses his last surge and gains 9 HP

Maddened with pain, the bugbear charges out of the fire straight toward Gabriel and pays no heed to Brigid's mace. The monster screams in the Paladin's face and slashes open the side of his neck before he can react. At least the heat will cauterize the wound quickly.

3 ongoing fire damage to Bugbear
Brigid's AoO: 9 damage
Bugbear's shortsword: 11 damage to Gabe
save vs fire failed

The duergar pulls a strange canister from his belt and throws it in the direction of the fire. He overshoots by a good ten feet, and it shatters on the floor in front of the stairwell. Vile fumes burst out of the canister, and Brigid and Argumentus turn their faces away. Motsognir, distracted by the immediacy of the flaming what the fuck is that, is not so lucky. He begins coughing violently, and his eyes water up.

6 damage to Motsognir; blind

BLINDED

✦ You grant combat advantage.

✦ You can’t see any target (your targets have total

concealment).

✦ You take a –10 penalty to Perception checks.

✦ You can’t flank an enemy.

until duergar's next turn

:savepoint: Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling, Bob, Brigid, Bugbear, Duergar

The dwarf felt the heated blade sink into his flesh, stifling a cry as he gripped down hard on his axe. Breathing heavily, his armour feeling like it weighed thrice what it actually did, he shook off the damage and turned his eyes back to his foe.

His blood throbbed in his veins, screaming to be unleashed on this monster, to repay hurt for hurt. Moments before he unleashed the tensed muscles in his arms, he caught the motion of Argumentus sliding behind the Bugbear. So swallowing his rage, letting it build inside him, he waited, muttering under his breath:

"That's right, you ugly bastard. Just keep your eyes on me for a few more moments."

He was barely able to bite back his smirk. Kord would appreciate the death of this substantial foe. And the Paladin would paint the floor with his blood.

Delay action until after Argumentus moves in and attacks.
Radiant Smite on that ugly furry bastard

http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h3...ma/stooges.jpg

Move North of Bugbear to flank
Reaping Strike on Bugbear

"My eyes! Oh shit!" Motsognir cried, stumbling about dramatically.

Commander's Strike -> Arg to Bugbear
Shift to N12

Motsognir tries to point out a weak spot in the Bugbear's armor, but with his blurry vision he ends up pointing in the direction of a broken bench on the floor. Argumentus does his even best to show the bench what-for, but the bench is stoic and does not even wince under his mighty strike. How brave, this bench! How noble!

Commander's Strike: miss

Arg turns from the bench, shrugging. He can do nothing against such an opponent. Perhaps the bench will show them mercy. As an afterthought, he stoves in the head of some hairy jackass that's invading his personal space. Argumentus doesn't have time for jokers, he's got a bench to outwit.

Reaping Strike: 10 damage to Bugbear

Down to his last reserves of strength, Gabriel aims a mighty finishing blow at the vile bugbear. It seems to fall down and stop breathing before he actually hits it, but this does not dissuade him in the least. He will punish it for the insolent act of having been on fire. Seriously, who does that?

Radiant Smite: 25 damage to Bugbear that only had 1 HP remaining; kill

"Nuts to this", Iggy says. "If I wanted to spend all day trading swings with you I would've stayed home." He sweeps past Brigid, jabbing his sword into the ribs of teary-eyed Motsognir.

6 damage to Motsognir. Bloodied. 3 ongoing poison damage and slowed (save ends both)

:savepoint: Bob, Brigid, Duergar, Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling

Having reached what I hoped to be the relative safety of the corner, I got to my feet and dusted myself down. The shambling bear-thing had been swiftly put down by the others and I suspected the small child with the crossbow would not be breathing for much longer. No, it was clear to me that the real threat here was the dwarf and his almost arcane powers (They weren't arcane of course, who ever heard of a dwarf that could use magic?).

I was drained from the day's endeavours and unable to focus my mind sufficiently to use any of my really impressive spells so I resorted to my elven heritage. I dropped my staff and unslung my bow and notched an arrow in one smooth motion. Lining up the dwarf through the crosshairs drawn on my goggles, I released the string and sent a deadly arrow whistling through the air towards the stumpy creature.

Stand up, drop staff, draw bow, shoot Duergar, whistle (Everything I Do) I Do It For You

"Don't you sass m-- Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

moves to n14 since flanking is our new favorite thing
Righteous Brand on Iggy, bonus to Argumentus

Bob wears his sunglasses at night
so he can
so he can
fail to hit the broad side of a barn

Longbow: miss
I will ride this joke into the ground

Quite unable to get Iggy to pay proper attention to her lecture, Brigid foists the wayward youth off on Argumentus. Perhaps the simpleton can better understand the juvenile mind.

4 damage to Iggy
Argumentus gets +3 to hit for attacks on Iggy

The duergar keeps his distance, firing off a firebolt at Argumentus. The big man is flummoxed. Only moments ago, fire was cooking some manner of delicious beast for him, but now fire has turned against him, flying through the air and making his face all red and hurty. Where did everything go wrong with fire? How can he make things like they were before? It is a heartbreak.

12 damage to Argumentus
Motsognir's vision clears up
Motsognir takes 3 poison damage as his turn begins

:savepoint: Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling, Bob, Brigid, Duergar

The dwarf grunted and simply trotted over to the halfling, unloading his axe into the creature's general personage. Shortly afterwards he towered over the poisoned Mots (not something he often gets to do) and roared:

"COME SON OF JOR EL, KNEEL BEFORE KORD."

Move to O13
Bolstering Strike on Iggy
Divine Mettle on Mots.

Argumentus moves to the swamped Iggy, striking the tiny Halfling with the pommel of the holy sword. He turns to face the Duergar and makes his malice known. The best is saved for last.
http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h38/Bradylama/m_x.jpg

Move to M13
Reaping Strike on Iggy w/ intent to knockout
Mark Duergar

Clearing his head, Mots turns around and is astonished to find a tiny man poking him in the ribs. He swings his axe around wildly, trying to shoo away the pest. "Get... whoa, that thing is sharp! Careful! Hey! Yow!"

Motsognir's HP +8
Warlord's Favor: miss
Save against poison/slow succeeds

Gabe's mighty axe comes thundering down in a mighty sweep, cleaving Iggy's left arm from his body. The limb goes flying off into the corner and.... clangs? It's only a metal prosthesis!

Iggy smirks, wriggling his real arm out of his tunic.

Bolstering Strike: Critical Hit! but then Iggy uses his Second Chance. Reroll: Miss.
Already used Channel Divinity this encounter, but Soggy's fine anyway

The little man may have a fake arm, but he can't possibly have a fake head. Probably. Argumentus bonks Iggy upside the noggin, but the halfling doesn't go down.

Reaping Strike: 14 damage to Iggy
Fighters have to hit someone to mark them

Desperate to get out of the crowd, Iggy shifts southwest then moves to the corner to threaten a much softer target.

AoO from Mots/Gabe: both miss

:savepoint: Bob, Brigid, Duergar, Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling

My first shot at the dwarf, meant only as a marker had landed exactly where I wanted it, about a foot to the left of the target. I was about to unleash a second, a killing blow to the temple, when the child came bursting out of the swirling melee and ran over towards me. I had little experience of dealing with children so I dealt with this hyperactive youngling the same way my mother had disciplined me, with a solid punch to the face.

Punch Iggy; in the face

Now, I reckon you think I ain't a fit guardian to let blood be beaten about by the horde. Family gotta take care of they's own, right? I know how to handle them youngins. Let 'im go out in the world, get knocked around a bit. He's too big for his britches; he needs to learn himself some manners.

It sure done brought a tear to my eye to watch him handle himself against the three damage-dealers. He does me proud, he does. But to be soft on him now would be to lose the entire lesson. I've seen too many kids go bad because their kinfolk got soft; you can't spare the rod.

"Boy don't you make me come over there! I will whip you so hard you won't be able to sit down for a week!"

Flank Iggy on R10
Righteous Brand again, bonus to Bob

Quite unaccustomed to close-quarters harassment, Bob reacts instinctively and gives his assailant a knuckle sandwich. It is delicious.

Iggy punched in the face for 3 damage; bloodied

Brigid pursues her nephew across the room, knowing the matter isn't settled. You let the kid get away with threatening your life just once and before you know it he's got no respect for your authority at all. Gotta nip that in the bud.

6 damage to Iggy

The duergar backs into the next room and fires off another firebolt at Argumentus. Luckily, Arg had stooped over to examine what looked like an intriguing rock and the fireball passes overhead.

It was only a snail, as it turned out.

:savepoint: Motsognir, Gabriel, Argumentus, Halfling, Bob, Brigid, Duergar

Motsognir went after the bloodied halfling, not wanting to be anywhere near the only member of the other party who had dealt any significant damage yet.

Move to Q9
Bloody Ending

The dwarf hefted his axe up onto his shoulder and moved slowly around the fire towards the Duergar. The flames licked his features, smoke curling around his heavy armour as he glanced over his shoulder towards the bloody mess that was the halfling. He shook his head at the dismantling of the small creature, finally turning his glance back to the grey dwarf.

"The battle is over, spell-spit. I could sever your head from your shoulders, but Kord takes no joy in the useless destruction of a creature outside the fires of war. There's no glory in leaving you a broken corpse in a derelict building. One final chance to walk away from this before the inevitable."

His tone was even, less a threat as simply pointing out what was obviously going to come to pass.

Move to L10.
Intimidate on Duergar because he's a dead man walking.

NO ESCAPE NO SURRENDER

Argumentus moves to H12
Reaping Strike on Duergar

Motsognir traps Iggy against the south wall, driving the flat of his axeblade into the halfling's skull until the boy is a good inch or two shorter.

Bloody Ending: 26 damage, Iggy killed knocked the fuck out

Gabriel makes one last attempt to frighten the duergar away. The gray dwarf seems prepared to deliver the same sort of cocky retort as before, but then his shoulders sag.

"Aye. Iggy there's got what they paid us, anyway, and I don't expect you'll be letting me take my share out of his pack. There'll be another time to get what's comin' to me. Best of luck with your little prize."

He turns and walks out of a hole in the north wall, and disappears into the night.

Intimidate: Success! (you lucky fuck)

VICTORY: 1000 XP (200 XP each)

The dwarf let himself relax for a moment, taking a deep breath and slinging his axe up across his shoulders.

"Well, that was a bonny bit of fuck you, wasn't it?"

With a shake of his head, he wandered off towards the doppleganger's body. He picked up the Paladin's armour with a certain reverence, muttering under his breath and sighing resignedly.

They'd have to check on Lord Broden. Make sure the man was dead, and if so, see that he was buried properly. Until then, time to check the dropped items of the dead. They'd have no further use for them.

I bring Iggy to the fire and do my best to make him comfortable. He's going to have a humdinger of a headache when he wakes up, and I hate to see kids suffer too much.

Sometimes I wonder if I don't spoil 'em.

Overhearing the dwarf, I search Iggy's bag and take three quarters of his gold. Misadventure shouldn't be rewarded, but he did earn his share, all the same. He stood against a group that stood against a dragon, after all.

Family tended to, I check on the rest of the horde, thanking each one in turn for not giving the boy an easy ride. I'm sure they understand, most of them are barely youths still themselves.

While we're resting up, I decide to brew a healing potion. The reagents are weighing me down and each battle makes me feel sore I haven't used them yet. I guess I'm getting forgetful in my old age.

Argumentus sets about categorizing and organizing the loot of their fallen foes.

Gabriel gathers up Broden's effects.

+1 Magic Plate Armor

Brigid takes 3/4 of the cash, then sets to a bit of chemistry.

375 GP

Argumentus painstakingly gathers up every other potentially-useful item on the bodies (both unconscious and dead), sorting it into little piles.

Dagger: 1
Short Sword: 2
Hand Crossbow: 1

Leather Armor: 3

Thieves' Tools: 1
Crossbow Bolts: 10

Lv. 3 Vial of Bloodstinger Poison: 1
Lv. 1 Vial of Antivenom: 1

Bounty Notice: 1

Cash: 125 GP remaining

"Let Iggy keep his weapons, giant man-golem. He has to leave in one piece too, we're not taking him."

I take the rest of the cash and stuff it back in his pack, and distribute 50 gp each to the party. then I think better of it and take another 25gp from Iggy as "aunt taxes".

I also take the antivenom.

The dwarf stashed the plate armour onto his pack, tying it down. He refused to wear it until he knew Broden was dead. He'd wear the man's plate in reverence, but not as a thief.

He picked up the bloodstinger poison and then shook his head and set it back down. Poison was simply not his way. He did point it out to Argumentus, though. So long as he didn't drink the damn thing, it'd be a nice usage for him.

He did, however, take the bounty notice. And the 50 gp Brigid offered with a nod of his head.

"Sorry for your kinsman."

"Don't fret about it. He's a tough boy, just a little wet behind the ears. Thanks for not cutting off his arm."

The dwarf grunted and stood up, hoisting his monstrously heavy pack up onto his shoulders and shrugging.

"Well, if you taught him that fake arm trick, he owes you a lot more than your bloody finder's fee."

He sighed and glanced at the door, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"At least one of us should really check in on Broden."

I had wanted to go check on the lord as well, seein' as though he probably ain't made it and he needs a proper funeral. But I also need to be seein' what Iggy knew; once the body's in the ground the survivors will be wantin' revenge, and I owe it to them that they get it, what with my blood possibly being responsible for the slaying.

"Skull dwarf! You believe in a pile of stovewood as a god, but he's still a god. Can you give final rites? I reckon I'd like to talk to my kin for awhile, and it might be better if he wasn't surrounded by men fiendin' after a funeral. I'll stay behind if you can see that man gets tended to."

I pick up Brody's religious icon and tossed it Gabe's way. "On th' other hand, you should probably send him to his proper maker. I ain't like to see a soul deviate from Melora's path, but Bahamut is just as good as Kord in my eyes."

The dwarf fought back the urge to roll his eyes. "A woman's god for a woman's work."

He did, however, catch the holy icon and slide it into his belt. He glanced at Argumentus and cocked his head. "Oi, Notorious B.I.G. Feel like paying a visit to our benefactor to make sure he isn't bleeding to death? We can all meet up at the Inn when we're finished. I imagine we could all use about four days of sleep."

He unfolded the bounty notice and read it while he waited. If it was signed by Broden or something, he wasn't going to bother checking on him.

"Have some respect for the dead! Ain't nothin' womanly about sendin' a man home. If you don't understand that, you don't deserve to wear that fist."

"Uh?" Argumentus responds with a nod.

Argumentus folds up the three leather armors and stows them in his pack. He also pockets the antivenom and the GP. Picking up the bounty notice, Argumentus taps Gabriel on the shoulder so he can help him with the big words.

The dwarf took the bounty notice, which he had apparently not been reading earlier, and read it for Argumentus. He paused to glance over his shoulder and comment to Brigid:

"Fine, fine. But if he's not dead, we'll need your touch to heal him. It's best if you come along. We can give you ten minutes with your kin."

Motsognir, took his share of gold and, fancying himself the closest thing the party had to a jack-of-all-trades, also picked up the thieves' tools.

He was ready to go to bed.

Loot distributed, potion brewed

Gabriel and Argumentus look over the bounty notice. It's a hastily-drawn affair, and the heavy smudging indicates the ink was still wet when Iggy stuffed it into his pack.

The notice is comprised primarily of a detailed portrait of Lord Broden. Below the image, the notice reads:

"Represents a hindrance to my business interests. Remove him. 1000 GP reward. Half to outfit yourselves, half on completion. Bring me his sword as proof that the job is done. Discretion required."

There's no indication of who wrote up the contract. If justice is to be done before the trail goes cold, it will be necessary to get the answers out of Iggy. The young halfling is just beginning to stir. With a splitting headache and a few dozen bruises, however, he's not going to be inclined toward helpfulness.

SKILL CHALLENGE: Interrogate Iggy. Complexity 1: Requires 4 Successes before 3 Failures.

The child was coming around and I fancied that he might know something of who was after us (This time). I crouched down in front of him and in my best and friendliest asking how a small child is feeling voice, I asked him how he was feeling and apologised for punching him in the face. And throwing ice rays at him. And killing all his friends.

Diplomacy skill in the house, get Iggy on-side, make him like us and be inclined to tell us stuff

Motsognir had recently read a manuscript about the halfling gang that Iggy seemed to belong to, and did his best to explain their cultural nuances to the rest of the group in the hopes that the increased insight might make everyone's efforts a little simpler.

History check

The clever dwarf started mumbling about something to the others. I still couldn't understand a word he was saying of course but I had the distinct impression he was trying to teach the others about the history of this small child's family or something.

Aid Mots' history check

Dazed as he is, the halfling lad seems to accept Bob's apology. "Aw, don't worry about it. Y'hit like a girl anyway."

Motsognir finds that the leather armors worn by the would-be thieves are all branded with the stylized 'H' mark of Freeport's Halfling Benevolent Association, ostensibly a social club founded to protect Freeport's smallest folk from institutional discrimination. These days, of course, it's an open secret that the HBA is little more than a racially-indifferent crime syndicate that the city guard refuses to acknowledge. It's possible that Iggy, in his naivete, has accidentally bitten off a great deal more than he can chew.

2 more successes needed

I looked the child up and down, hoping to notice some form of religious symbol or other outward sign of faith, so we might appeal to his spiritual side in an attempt to get some information out of him.

Religion check

Seein' as though I knew Iggy since he was knee-high to a grasshopper, I felt I had a better insight to his personality than most. I explained to the rest of the group how I came to be takin' care of him and his family, sharing a few charming stories of the time he went fishin' and took home a bigger catch than even his grandaddy Griddley, who been a fishmonger in his younger days and supposedly started a fad for coecelanth such that we done fished them all out.

Insight check

While walking down memory lane, I noticed the idiot city-lady taking a good hard look at Iggy's personal artifacts. I sure hope she was just looking for religious symbols rather than seeing what else we could steal.

assist Bob's religion check

All this talk of history and diplomacy did nothing but infuriate Argumentus. No real answers could be worked out of Iggy without creative implementation of certain... methods.

Argumentus shoves the more diplomatic party members aside, grapples Iggy, and spins him around in the air like pizza dough.

Athletics check

The dwarf leaned against the far wall and yawned, very tired, calling out to the boy that if he didn't start talking right quick, he was going to let Argumentus eat him.

Intimidation

There's no outward sign that the lad associates with any deities. If Iggy has any sort of religious affiliation, he keeps it to himself. Bob's attempt to get all churchy with the kid goes nowhere.

Brigid tries to reminisce with Iggy about the good ol' days, but he refuses to have any part of it. He seems too embittered by the recent strife that caused his exodus to look back fondly on anything.

Tired of all this jabber-jawing, Argumentus hefts the lad into the air and proceeds to shake the answers out of him directly. This method seems significantly more effective, and Iggy begins babbling uncontrollably — of course, he's spinning too fast for his words to actually be understood.

Iggy knows that if the party were going to kill him, they would have done it already — but the threat of even worse manhandling by Argumentus is enough to break his will. He assents, and the fighter drops him to the floor in a trembling, sweaty heap.

"Alright, alright! What do you want to know?"

4 successes, 2 failures: skill challenge won! 150 XP (30 XP each)

"Where you fight shiny man? What you do with his body?"

"Shiny man. I like that. He sure as hell was."

He chews his lip, knowing that his story is likely to upset the more devout among those present.

"After you left, he rode out to the cemetery. We shadowed him about a hundred yards back. Most of us stayed out of sight, but Daria — "

(he gestures at the ice block in the middle of the room)

"She stayed close, made sure we didn't lose him. Every time he turned around he saw somebody new, he never got suspicious. There was a zombie infestation; a few of the older mausoleums cracked open in a little earthquake last month, and sure enough a few of the bodies got the urge to go a-wanderin'. He cleaned that up easy enough, though, even without his fancy sword. It was impressive what that fella could do with a mace and his little dragon necklace, I ain't gonna lie."

He heaves a sigh.

"Round about the 10th zombie it seemed like he was gettin' a little tired so we decided to jump him then. I can tell you we underestimated him by a long shot. Daria ordered me to stay back with my crossbow; I was carryin' the money and we were going to split it even once we got the other half of the bounty. No sense riskin' our payday if we don't need to, she said. So me and Karl stayed back, an' ever'body else rushed him.

Eddie was on the ground with his face caved in before he could even lay a finger on Broden. Louis went down with a busted knee, and before he could crawl away the zombies dragged him into this— I don't know what to call it. The earth just cracked open like a busted melon, and this black smoke poured out. There was no fire down there, though. Just darkness goin' on forever.

Broden held up for a while after that, but between the zombies and us he got wore out real quick. Eventually Daria got her shiv into the back of his neck and that was that. At that point there was only two or three of the dead-walkers still movin' around, so we took care of 'em just on general principles. We took his little necklace and his armor — originally we were just gonna fence 'em. The bodies, well. We was already in the graveyard and that gods-damned hole seemed like an invitation. We dropped 'em in and they just disappeared. Not even a thump. I wanted to take Eddie and Louis to their families, but Daria said it was better if they "deserted". Said a thousand coins split better four ways, and who wanted to do all the bereavement paperwork?

The horse we just sent packing.

After that we went back to his house, figured he must have left the sword there. Nothin'. He didn't even have anything worth stealing. We spent about an hour shaking down the neighborhood for information until somebody pointed us to the notice he'd posted, about the wizard's place and all. On the way we ran into another crew on the same contract, and we agreed to let them make their play first. We could always jump them after. After you scattered them to the four winds we agreed to trail you until night, give us time to set up an ambush. Would've worked out perfect except for Aunt Bee bein' such a light sleeper.

I reckon that about catches us up to right now, doesn't it?"

"Who you work for?"

"It's... the contracts come from Finn at the HBA. Those of us what do the dirty work never meet the actual clients. They pay Finn, Finn takes a cut, Finn pays us. That way the trail ends at Finn if a fuckup like this happens, and Finn has the goods on every guard and magistrate in town.

I don't know who it is wants Broden dead. Only Finn knows, and he'd sooner feed you all to the sharks than break a confidence. I don't recommend you chase this any further than you have to. Finn runs the entire east side; he'll bury you if you cross him. Just deliver the sword and take the bounty. It's dirty money, but that's the only kind of coin you'll find in Freeport."

"What other organizations may have been sent this bounty? Is the HBA the only game in town?"

The dwarf sighed and shook his head at the news that Broden was indeed dead. It had been his idea to wait out the night and seek the man out on the morning, and he knew if he'd followed his duty, rather than his mortal frailties by giving into weariness, the man may well have lived. He may have been a follower of another god, but he was a holy warrior nonetheless, and Gabriel grieved for his loss. Reaching down to scoop up the broken remnants of Broden's holy symbol, the Paladin scowled in frustration as the shattered pieces slipped between his grasp.

Glancing up he noticed the book on Argumentus' pack, and motioning the big man over towards him asked for its usage. It seems the human building had all but forgotten its use, and was quite happy to hand over the item to the dwarf.

The book in hand, the dwarf opened it and scanned through the pages, noting some interesting bits of information concerning edible things. Finding roughly the center, he held it open and lifted the fragments of the broken dragon necklace onto the paper. Once it had been gathered completely, Gabriel stood, and paying little heed to the ongoing questioning of the halfling, moved to just outside the building's rear entrance.

Finding a small patch of undisturbed ground, he knelt and dug away an acceptable patch of earth with his hands. Inside he laid the broken shards of Bahamut's icon, pouring them out from the book. That done, he unslung his pack and pulled Broden's armour from it, as well as his waterskin, and set to the work of washing out the fallen warrior's blood from the inside of the protective shell. He let the holy symbol of Kord dangle over the liquid as he did so, he was no cleric but he hoped the Lord of Storms would recognise the gesture for what it was and sanctify the ground anyway.

Broden's blood and the symbol of his faith laid within the dirt, the dwarf glanced back into the house and sighed. He reached into his pack and withdrew the warhammer, placing it atop the other artifacts before pushing the displaced dirt atop them.

"I wouldn't have a warrior buried without a weapon, but I'm afraid your blade isn't mine to give." He patted the dirt and stood, brushing off his knees and hands. "I hope you'll understand, Lord Broden."

With that he traced the fist of Kord into the dirt and pressed his holy symbol into it. He said a short prayer to the War God, asking for him to take mercy on a lowly follower and do him the service of helping the dead man find his way to Bahamut's busom.

As he began to reorganize his pack, he halted and began peeling of his armour. Piece by piece, he adorned himself in Broden's former vestments. The transformation complete, he considered leaving the plate there, but decided it would be a fine way to repay the hulking behemoth for usage of his book. He glanced down at the small patch of fresh earth and commented:

"I can only hope Kord would favour me as he has you, and that when my time comes I will fall in battle. This is a good death. There's no shame in this; in a man's death. A man who has done fine works..."

He finished loading his pack and stepped back inside, to see what conclusions, if any, the Horde had come to.

Acquire Index of Edible things from Argumentus (okayed with Brady first)
Give up Warhammer.
Don Broden's platemail.
Keep old platemail in order to give it to Argumentus at a later point.

Argumentus gathers all of his possessions, making sure to take the bounty notice, and leaves the warehouse to get the rest of the party to follow him back to Freeport. When he's out of Iggy's sight, he stows the broadsword in his pack and readies the warhammer. Even with his stunted sense of perception Argumentus knew the sword would draw unwanted attention.

"Could be anybody, Aunt Bee. I can think of a dozen fellas who're going to have an easier time of it with one less Paladin around. You could probably make an educated guess, but then what? Just barge in and rough up a seemingly-legitimate businessman? It's your word against hundreds.

Anyway, now that I've failed to mug an old lady I expect I'll be givin' up the trade. My reputation's never gonna recover. I'm going someplace nobody knows me and pickin' a new name. Start a restaurant, maybe. Best of luck to the lot of you."

He tucks his sword back into his belt and clambers through a blown-out window.

"...and Bee? So long, and thanks for all the fish."

He looks to the sky, picks a star to follow, and wanders off down the road.

...

Without a body on which to perform proper rites, Gabriel does what he can to help Broden's spirit go to its rest. As he turns away to go back indoors, he hears a tiny rustling. He whips around, ready to confront what must surely be another assault — but finds only a tiny green sprout growing out of the freshly-disturbed earth. The little plant continues to grow with unnatural speed as he watches, and a bright red flower blooms. Gabriel is hardly an expert botanist, but any damn fool can recognize a snapdragon. The dwarf smiles, gives the little flower a curt nod, and heads back inside.

It seemed as though our business here was done and I suddenly realised just how tired I was. I gathered up my pack and suggested to the others that now might be a really good time to go back to the inn and get some sleep. Hopefully finding a route that would avoid too many mugging attempts on the way.

Healing surge my way back to full health, just in case like

The dwarf rubbed the bridge of his nose as Argumentus walked past. The big man was right; silent, but right.

"I'm with the lummox. Let's go bed down at the inn for a day. Get some rest, clear our heads, and figure out where to go next in the morning. Or after a few mornings. Need to stock up, lose some weight in our packs. Point is, this place is not where we should be."

With that, the dwarf followed Argumentus. Patting the big bastard on the shoulder and glancing up skyward as he raised the small wrist-bound beads and said a silent thank-you to Kord for listening to his petition.

Taking care to avoid the major thoroughfares, the party eventually wends its way back to their rooms at the Diving Fin. Their sleep is uneasy at best, but they awake the next morning perhaps not entirely ready for what seems to be an inevitable business meeting with the shadier citizens of Freeport, but at least relatively fortified.

I emptied all the checkboxes! That's high-quality DMin' right there.

Shin, declare your Daily and Utility spell for the day.

knk, pick a power for your ding-dang chainmail

After the Wizard and the Warlord are done dealing with their regulars, Argumentus leads the party to the HBA. The winding paths of Freeport are an oppressive maze in the steel trap of Argumentus's brain. Around every corner is the constant sense of watchful eyes boring a hole in his pack! FOUL ARTIFACT WOULD YOU KILL US!?

I awoke feeling refreshed, the rigours of the previous day all but forgotten. Before I went to bed I had transcribed one of the rituals I had picked up at the wizard's house into my rituals book, an exceptionally useful rite that would create magic curtains to obscure the view of potential spies. No longer would my modesty be compromised when nature called during an adventure!

I packed up my stuff, leaving behind the now empty ritual book and prepared my Shield and Sleep spells for the day ahead, hoping that the day would not bring a fight against a small group of acid-weak but otherwise indestructible enemies. I joined the others for a light breakfast then we set off in search of the criminal underworld. I had high hopes of meeting some shady character, possibly with an eye patch or a weird speech impediment, controlling a huge network of criminals and other scum. I had always thought the life of a cut-purse to be quite a romantic one, full of jolly escapades and japes, staying one step ahead of the law and getting together for a rousing sing-song with my criminal cronies while we counted the loot at the end of each day. Had I not been blessed with arcane powers, I rather fancied that I might have become a highwayman or other such rogueish raconteur.

The big fellow led the way, seemingly nervous as we entered the less reputable part of town. As we went, I kept my eyes open for a costume shop, still hoping to find some face paint to really finish off my new look.

While the group walked, Motsognir fooled around with his armor. He wasn't quite used to it yet, and it chafed him in strange ways. He tugged the side of his mail for the umpteenth time, and a small puff of confetti shot into his beard. Apparently, this was no ordinary chainmail.

Store a Bloody Ending in my magic clothing

The group heads out for their rendezvous at the HBA. Passing through the merchant district, Bob notices Herbert's Miscellany advertising a new shipment of magical greasepaints. Worth looking into later, perhaps, should the expected cash infusion come to pass as hoped.

After a great deal of poking and prodding, Motsognir manages at last to get his armor functioning properly. He considers delaying the trip in order to comb out the confetti, but decides after some thought that it may help him to appear more fearsome.

After a good hour or so of confused wandering and harassed passers-by, the troupe arrives in the East District at what appears to be the headquarters of the HBA. A drow elf stands guard in the shade of the two-story brick edifice, leaning on the double doors and filing his fingernails with a shiv. He looks over at the party as they arrive, and his hand instinctively hovers over the crossbow strapped to his thigh.

"You look a bedraggled lot. If you're 'ere for the charity supper, it's not till dusk."

The dwarf paid for a few days at the inn upfront, and then slipped the inn keeper a gold piece to bar the door in his absence. Inside he left the plate mail, as Broden's didn't have any defining markings that would draw attention, and a pack that was 40 lbs lighter would be a boon.

Marching through the city of Freeport, the dwarf took stock of the passing people, the passing shops, trying to see if anyone was openly tailing them. If not, when they reached the HBA headquarters, he would comment to the drow.

"We've come to collect."

He put on his best gruff look and tried to look like a ruffian.

Motsognir stood behind Gabe, hands on his axe, menacing in his confetti.

The drow is tryin' his best to be threatenin', but they do trade off the backs'a mere boys. How tough could they be?

"I heard tell this place is for halfling benevolence. Well, I'm a halfling. Benevolent me."

Argumentus immediately follows up this statement by producing the bounty notice. He hunches over the thing so that it can only be seen by the Drow.

"Benevolent you. Oh yeah. That's cute. Never heard that one before, oh no."

He squints at the bounty notice.

"Ohhhh. I see now. You're here to make a... what was it. Tax-deductible donation. To our worthy cause. Ok, you want the donations office, just head on in, go down the east hallway and it's the first door on your right. Now get outta here, I'm tryin' to get a tan."

They meander down the hall as directed, and in the office marked DONATIONS they find a very small man with a very large desk and a very large safe. He examines the notice, and looks the group over.

"You gotta lot of nerve comin' in here, you know that? Karl told us all about you. You're regular celebrities now! You rub out three of the Finn's goons and you just march in here it's nothin'. That takes chutzpah. Or stupidity. We got uses for both of those things, though.

Here's how it works. I ignore the manpower you cost us, pretend you actually killed Broden and give you the money. It's a little favor from us to you. In exchange, we'll ask you for a favor someday. I'm sure you'll do right by us. It would be a shame if anyone were to find out just who turned in the bounty for this particular contract, don't you think? You might become very popular individuals.

Whaddaya say, friends?"

The dwarf wasn't going to remind everyone he said this was a bad idea. He wasn't going to say that. But he bloody well thought this was going to be a bad idea, didn't he? He glanced upwards and shook his head, thankful that he served a neutral god, rather than one with scruples.

"Well, this would make twice we'd be locked up for something we were only marginally involved in" he mused. "On the other hand, I'm sure this... pleasant man in his fine vestments means a paid favour. After all, when you're good at something, you never do it for free."

Argumentus produces the sword from his pack and lays it down on the table. He keeps a firm grip on it so no one can take it away.

"Money."

My necrotic chums engaged the clerk in a discussion, probably a negotiation over the fee we were to be paid for retrieving the sword. I looked around the room while they did, having never been in the offices of a crime syndicate before and curious as to what went on here. I was a little disappointed to be honest, it looked rather like any other office with nothing outwardly on display to suggest criminality. I had been hoping for a secret handshake at the very least and the relative normality of it all left me rather dejected.

I reached out with my senses, hoping that the normality of the office was all a powerful illusion and actually we were unknowingly standing in a proper den of thieves with games of dice going on in the corner and a shady fence buying and selling stolen wares at knock down prices. I also looked around for any small, valuable looking objects that one might be able to pocket through a combination of turning them invisible and dumping them in ones pocket via Presdigitation spells. Despite appearences, this was the office of a major criminal organisation after all and they'd expect nothing less, surely?

Arcana check for any spells being used in the vicinity, look around for anything stealable

The short-even-for-a-halfling fellow behind the desk snaps his fingers, and a heavily-muscled hobgoblin stalks into the room, clutching a hefty sack of coins. The hobgoblin slams the bag onto the table, keeping a firm grip on it so no one can take it away.

"Sword", grunts the muscle.

Getting into the spirit of petty villainy, Bob swipes an inkwell, a handful of blank letterhead (From The Desk of Orm Redleaf, CFO), and a leaden paperweight in the shape of an angry bear. Revenge is his! So avenged, he then casts about for any sign of the arcane mysteries that such an organization must surely be concealing. There is a faint sign of something, but it's emanating from a good 20 feet beneath him. If any sinister magic lies within the building, it's apparently in the basement.

Argumentus places one hand on the money, keeping the other on the sword.

"We trade."

He expects the hobgoblin to do the same to complete the transaction.

In an attempt to make him look more mean and sinister, I used my presdigitation spell to make the big human's eyes appear to glow red.

Argumentus and the hobgoblin stare each other down for a long moment. Suddenly, the human's eyes flash bright red and the hobgoblin is startled. Arg grabs the bag of gold and steps back, leaving the sword lying on the desk. Redleaf nods, and the hobgoblin grabs up the sword and carries it off to who knows where.

"Well, there we go. Nice doing business with you. When we need you, we'll send somebody. Please don't kill them! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a charity supper to attend to and my famous meatballs aren't going to cook themselves."

Another goon appears to escort the party from the building, and after some shoving and grumbling they find themselves back on the street: 500 GP richer and one ridiculously powerful sword poorer.

As for Broden, his eventual fate was kept a secret from most. It seemed to the downtrodden residents of Stag End that Broden had just saddled up and abandoned them. The grip of the Syndicate grows a little tighter, the nightmare underneath the city's cemetery continues to fester, and the Temple of Bahamut loses more ground against the dozens of vile cults that swarm the city.

Just another day in Freeport.

Adventure (anticlimactically) complete! Minor quest reward: 500 XP (100 each)
Arg has the bag of 500 GP in-hand, so if he doesn't want to share I can't force him :plant:

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The dwarf was sullen throughout the horde's travels that day. The death of Broden weighed heavily on his conscience, but he did keep his mind on the tasks at hand long enough to swat Argumentus on the hip at one point and offer him the plate armour currently sitting behind a locked door in the Inn. With Broden's armour securely on his shoulders, he no longer needed it. And the big man could benefit from the added protection.

As the horde slid through the throng, Gabriel stopped by the weapon store and gawked at the Craghammer. It was the weapon he'd always wanted, but the faint glow of power around the opportunistic battle axe made him hesitant to give it up. He was a dwarf who preferred hammers, but he'd live with his axe for now. He did, however, take the time to point Mots at the Executioner's Axe, and tell him he should absolutely buy it.

His only other real stop was Vinely's, where he traded his amethyst for a pair of healing potions. Other than that, the dwarf was generally more gruff than usual, and rather insistent they got on with something to earn some money, and more importantly, keep him busy and his mind off what had just happened.

amethyst for two potions.

We left the syndicate's offices and meandered back to the inn. I was feeling rather despondent. The offices had been nothing at all how I expected a major criminal base to be with virtually no evidence of skullduggery or wrongdoing and barely a harlot in sight. To compound my misery, the local shopkeepers seemed to be expecting an influx of wealthy sheiks from the southern lands of Araby, pockets bulging with gold from the profits of their mines, rather than common adventurers who were just looking to inspire dread in their foes with a bit or war paint. Even the most basic of magical gear was way out of my price range and it seemed that my path to mastery of the arcane arts would be one pockmarked with battlefield scavengery rather than the careful and calculated equipment purchases I had hoped for. Even though my devious thievery had proved most effective at the hideout, I had a sneaking suspicion that attempts to steal from the shops would not end well and as such, I trudged back to the inn having bought only a single potion of healing, as much as an act of retail therapy as anything else.

I resolved that whatever quest we undertook next should be whichever paid the most or with the greatest opportunity for swiping some decent loot. It seemed as though my career as a master of elemental magic to be feared across the land was not destined to be a cheap one!

Once back at the inn, I used my new notepaper and pen to jot down my recent experiences in the form of a diary or journal, entitled The storie of Scarey Bobbe, ann elementalalist moste powerfull hoping that should adventuring not pay the bills, perhaps a regular column in one the the many popular gazettes of the region might be a good alternative career.

Argumentus was facing a personal crisis of sorts. For years he had did the Argumentus way by crushing and punching things. It was fun, but his brief experience with the sword also appealed to him in a fundamental way. The dance of the arterial spray and the red gash of an open cut had their own appeal. Could he find a weapon to satiate his desire to crush and draw blood?

His eyes fell upon a frosted pick, and it was love at first sight.

Trade in hide armors and warhammer while purchasing the War Pick of Frost

Argumentus felt guilty using all of the ill-gotten gains for himself and gave the rest of his money to the whiny dwarf, knowing the paladin and cleric would have no use for blood money.

When Argumentus reaches the notice board, the idea of monster extermination in a cemetery sounds like something Lord Broden would do. Not learning from his mistake, he plants a greasy finger on the Hargast notice.

The big chap seemed keen on visiting the cemetary to investigate the goings on there. This suited me fine as cemetaries are always good sources of ancient tomes and other useful wizardly type stuff and communing with the dead might give me more chance to investigate my own necromantic powers which I must admit, were still something of a mystery to me.

I shrugged and nodded my assent.

Motsognir wraps his arms around Argumentus' leg and doesn't let go until he gets some of the money.

Motsognir stands there pleased, the happy recipient of the giant's leftover gold.

He was too happy to care where they went next, at least for the moment, and was content to lean against the wall in a quiet daze.

I wasn't in the mood for shoppin' or socializin'. It was bad enough that we had't sully our hands in such business what pits the naive against the naive, but I was a mere 37 gp away from anything good in the stores.

I had wanted to purify the cemetery earlier, however, before we got mixed up in all this Broden business, so I agreed with the giant man-golem and the idiot city-lady.

The wizard and the paladin, finding nearly everything too rich for their blood, purchase naught but a few potions. Argumentus, suddenly flush with ill-gotten cash, purchases what he believed to be the most ostentatious weapon available. Sadly, when the clerk claimed the pick to be "dripping with ice" he was being entirely literal. Argumentus spends a great deal of time tossing the weapon from one hand to the other whenever numbness starts to set in. Too cold, too cold.

Looking for space on his belt to keep the frigid weapon, he pulls off his nearly-empty coinpurse and tosses it to Motsognir. The remaining 48 GP is no fortune, but Soggy seems driven nearly to tears of joy.

The party seemed to have already reached a consensus, so Argumentus tears off the Hargast notice and begins to set off.

The dwarf smirked as he saw the choice made by the horde. It was precisely what he wanted: A chance to tip the scales back in return for what they'd been a part of. On to the cemetary.

As we made our way out of the city, we once again passed the shop with the facepaints and I gave them a long, wistful look, hoping soon to return triumphant from our quest laden down with enough loot to be able to buy them...

Onwards to victory!