How old is too old?
 

First off, I'm not sure if this is the best place for this topic or not. Mods, feel free to move it to whereever you think it should be...

Secondly a little background on why I'm about the ask the question that I'm about to ask:

I'm 24, and I still haven't had sex. I've been waiting to find that "specail someone". I don't want to just sleep with any girl. I want to actually fall in love and all that stuff. But I still haven't found a girl that I really care for...

So here is the question: How old is too old to be a virgin? At what point does it go from being a good thing to just being sad?

I get the feeling that I may have already crossed that line, but I hope not...

No one is ever too old for anything...well...um... there are some things, but I don't think this is one of those things. Sure it might sound kind of strange for someone to be 30 or older and not have had sex, but if that person is looking for a real love, then nothing is wrong with that.

By the way, you are not that old. 24! Old! Dude, if you're a student going to school or just finished or close to being finished you're doing fine.

You say you're looking for that "special someone" and that's all right.
I will probably end up like you because I would rather save my virginity for that special someone than just giving it to some girl.

I would say just treasure it. You're a virgin only once, and why waste it? You'll meet that person sooner or later.

David, how are you still a virgin? I mean, you're waiting for that special someone, but in my experience there tends to be other reasons reasons why someone is still a virgin. Are you embarrased about something, say, your body or your sexual prowess? Are you just scared about sex? Perhaps you're gay? (Hey, I've seen it happen.)

I mean, shit, it doesn't REALLY matter if you don't WANT the sex, but... seeing as how you're questioning it, I figure that you really want to lose the virginity and you don't know why you're still a virgin.

Oh, and despite what anyone says, there really isn't any LINE per se, but most people by your age have had sex.

Everyone knows that. There are a whole bunch of 13/14 your olds doing it all the time.

I just didn't want him (or someone) saying, "What do you mean there's no line? Most people have had sex blah blah blah".

I'm thorough, you see.

That's just a weird argument. What's there to waste? It's not like something really changes once one's not a virgin anymore. You're only virgin once? Yeah, uh, so what? Everything happens only once. Physically not being a virgin shouldn't make sex with ''that person'' any less special.

As for you, David4516, I don't even know. You ''get the feeling that you may have already crossed the line''? Gee, well there's probably your answer; once you start thinking that way, I guess you're already too old.

'crossed the line', honestly, what

I don't think there's any definitive age in which a person "should" have had sex. It's your own choice if you want to wait, and there shouldn't be a problem with that. *shrug* Maybe if you become the 40-year-old virgin, it's different, but 24 is hardly "old"! LOL.

Well, you didn't really read what he wrote because he already made it clear that there is some line...

Or am I confusing myself. :)
I tend to do that a lot. :(

Perhaps there is no line? I just assumed that there was, but if I knew for sure I wouldn't even be asking, LOL...

There is a line; it's called death.

Ok how many girls have you dated thus far?

Russ asks a very good question.

First of all, don't fucking treasure your virginity. What is with that shit. I'll never understand this whole argument. It's not like a nest egg of thousands of dollars, here. In fact, it amounts to nothing.

Which is why you shouldn't worry too much about it. So you don't want to sleep with just ANY girl. Good for you. I applaud that. But you need to get out there and FIND a girl so at least you can say you've tried.

Some people wait until they're married to get fucked. (I personally don't endorse it, but its a personal choice people make.) Some of these people don't get married until they're pretty old.

Don't worry about being a virgin so much. It doesn't really amount to anything in the long run except for the fact that you're lacking in experience.

Well, dang it. I want to wait till I'm married. I hope I'm not too old when I get married..

Unless you're pushing senior citizen age, I doubt you'll have any trouble performing in the bedroom by the time you get married. "Performing" being a very loose term.

If anything, you'll have built up so much steam in there on the whole topic that she'll probably only enjoy it for a whole 2 minutes.

WHO KNOWS.

Like it has been hinted before you just need to stop worrying about the fact you're still a virgin and focus more on (hopefully) finding that "special someone". It seems like the fact that you're worried about your virginity is distracting you from finding that person, which would be the obvious solution to your problem.

Don't worry about whatever the hell this line is. It's your choice to have sex whenever you want, be it when you're 13 or when you get married, or even never. Sure, popular society pretty much pushes sex on you all the time, but you make your own mind.

So stop worrying about something as trivial as this and go find that girl. Of course, that's another topic for another thread.

It seems like a lot of the virgins around here don't realize that there's sexual activity to be had without having vaginal intercourse.

I think its more a problem of them finding a girl who wants to suck their cock, Russ. ^_^

Or whatever. Not like THATS the only activity outside of sex, either. The possibilities are nearly endless.

Can I just say that I love reading what you have to say about things. :)
It's you and Alicewonderland(?, is there an "n" in there?)

You guys have a lot of things to say, whether I agree or not, I think how you put it out is awesome.

Yup. Just wanted to let that out. :)

Are you trying to suck up to me so I don't let loose on you, sir? Because you're really not at a high risk, here.

Or maybe because we're both prominent females around here? Because I encourage people to think of me as one of the guys.

And you shouldn't start looking for that perfect someone to fuck on the internet. Just sayin'.

Out of curiosity - is it a religious decision?

Exactly. My comment was an attempt to bring out that point, that they feign ignorance about other sexual activity so that they can throw these virgin pity parties and throw a "waiting for that special someone" veil over it.

I'll answer your questions and comment from top to bottom. Does that make sense? Oh well. Here goes.

No. Of course not. I just wanted to let you know because that's just how I am. If I like something I'm going to go and tell whoever it is that I like what they're doing. Cuz I'm cool like that.
I'm glad that I'm not at a high risk though. I still remember what I read about you and the movies...


I couldn't think of what to say to the second part of your quote. I just thought it was funny. and that I'm not looking for the perfect someone over the internet.

Um...let's see. It started out as a religious decision. Well, hmm...I was at church so much and I would hear all about what was wrong or whatever and then I thought after taking a break that I agree.

In short answer, kind of.

I don't see why being your age and a virgin is a big deal. You should be happy that you are. Is there some sort of peer pressure going on?

Yeah I don't think college kids care much about, or discuss sex very much.

THAT IS, other than nerds and geeks who arn't exposed enough of it by society's little bubble yet :x

Hey, I never asked for anyones pitty. I don't want it either. That wasn't the point of the thread. I'm also not asking for dating advice. Maybe I just worded it poorly, I'm not the most articulate person after all. If so, I'm sorry to have confused you.

What I am asking is this: do you believe that someone can reach an age where it is no longer normal to be a virgin? If so, when?

Also since the topic is heading this direction anyway, lets introduce a second qustion: Is it even worth worrying about? Is there really anything special about your viginity? Is there any reason to wait for "true love" or whatever?

An age where you're too old? Rather hard to define, simply doe to other factors that may have played into such a status. Physical health, mental health, family issues, religious doctrine (even if your not religious), being a chicken-shit...all are common factors for being an "older virgin". You also need to factor in how often you date, your quality of dates, etc.

While I'm not using this age as a cut-off point, if you hit 30 and you haven't had some form of sexual contact, then you should take a step back and evaluate yourself and the reason(s) you haven't.

Some guys aren't the 'wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am' types; they want something lasting. And that's fine. But you'd still need to take a look at yourself and confirm that the decisions you're making are the ones that are making you happy.

But as far as worrying about? Bah. When the time comes you'll know it. It might be a good decision, it might be a bad one. Regardless, you'll know when.

As far as waiting for your "True Love"...that's a lofty expectation that many never find, if the divorce rate in America is any indication. That doesn't mean you should settle; that means you need to find your own happiness.

If a girl had asked that question, the answers would have been different. Men seem to be all about taking a girl's virginity. Never understood why that was such a big f'in deal.

Wait as long as you want. There's no time limit.

I notice David never answered the question about how many girls he's dated. Personally I'm 25 and never been on a date. Sometimes I wonder if that's normal, but it's not like I haven't tried to get a date. Infact I've done damn near everything I can think of to get one. But girls just won't date me for some reason. I don't know if it's cause they think I'm ugly, not confident enough(Although if that's the case I think they confuse not having confidence with not having an ego), or in some recent cases if it's cause they think I'm too old.

In any case, I've recently come to the conclusion that if no one is willing to give me the chance that I quite frankly deserve more then like 70% of the guys I see with girls around here... then they can kiss my ass. Although I do kinda blame my lack of female interaction for some of the weird things that go through my mind at times.

Anyhow I've gotten far off topic. I don't know if I'm really qualified to comment on this topic but I personally don't think there is really a time that you should no longer be a virgin. I mean even if you find that "Special Someone" who knows when they will actually be willing to put out. Not everyone is willing to have sex with someone just cause they're dating.

There's no definitive age when you should have sex. Sure, there's stastical averages and all that but that's all they are, statistics and, if you're curious, the ages people lose their virginity are actually going up.

Regardless, the problem, I imagine, is either lack of options, or nervousness about the actual act. There's a lot of pressure for people these days to start shagging and it may make you self-concious if you haven't had sex while your friends already have. Society doesn't help, as I said, because you probably feel a little isolated that there may be something wrong with your or something like that, which in turn causes more stress making it even worse.

I have no idea what the case is with you but if you haven't had sex yet, who cares? It's only as big a deal as you make it. It's easy to feel like you're the only one on the planet who hasn't had sex at your age but trust me, you're not. The more you think about it and the more you let it bother you, the more you narrow down your options.

And, some people just aren't all that interested in sex. One of my roomates loves doing sexual stuff but isn't a huge fan of sex itself, she thinks it's actually kinda gross, lol. Well, whatever, my point is that you're not abnormal, there's nothing wrong with you, so stop worrying about it and focus on more important things...like ice cream.

mmmm...ice cream.

I agree with Sassafrass. If you have the chance to and you think you love the person. Lose it. I mean their really isn't anything to "cherish" about being a virgin. Except maybe the time you spend with your hand... Sorry.

If you don't lose it now. The person you love maybe turned off at the fact you haven't had sex before. That person would be shallow, but that's how it goes.

Why does it have to be someone super special? Let me ask you this David, have you ever been in a situation where you might've been in danger of losing your virginity? I'm not attacking you, I'm just wondering if you've gotten offers and then proceeded to give it second thoughts.

I mean, yeah, girls will come and go and as you get older, women do the samething. The only foreseeable problem with waiting so long is that you build up this fantasy behind the encounter and when it happens you're not only sorely disappointed, but inexperienced and it will lead to serious heartbreak.

I know, it happened to a buddy of mine. It was partly my fault, I think, we took him out, he met a girl and she took him home that same night. Two days later, I get a call from him and he's in tears. My other friend and I were kind of perplexed by his reaction, until we had discussed it in passing, over time. She liked him, but she just wanted a night. Yeah, it happens, it's happened to me, too but I try to shrug it off, now. It's not like I didn't get anything out of it.

Why does sex always equate to longterm attachment? Isn't there merit in being able to share a few moments of genuine passion with someone else, even if it is just once or twice? I mean, it's not like I'll have sex with just anybody, either. However, when I meet a woman and I spend hours on end over nothing more than coffee and maybe a walk, and not notice time passing, then I think that's an indicator that I want to share with this person physically.

So, anyway, it's not going to come around by you standing by. Just try to let go of the anticipation and the build-up, because to be honest your first time can be disappointing.

Also, jacking off is fairly healthy, at least when you're younger, it helps curb some of the initial sensitivity and will enable you to last longer when it comes time.

I don't really know why I bother responding, given that I'm basically echoing everyone else here, but yeah... don't worry about it.

I wanted to do the same thing as you... wait for that one. I dated tons of girls before I got there... got a few offers... turned them down. Then I got to that one, and I'm happy I waited: no baggage to deal with. She, on the other hand, is still messed up from the one other guy she had been with, and always says she wishes she had waited too.

Just stay with your current course. It'll be all good in the end. :)

Let me ask this. How many of you here actually waited for that "special someone" to have sex that's over 25? I think it would be better if someone like that can successfully answer your question.

Society wants you to stop being a Virgin at 18. Teens about 16 and Adults about 20 so it averages to 20.

But I'd say. No. Many people constantly make fun of virgins because that person themself needs sex because they can't wait. The kind of people who make fun of virgins are usually the people who need sex to be able to look themselves in the mirror.

Since that person needs sex, they think "I know they must need it too"....which leads to..."They must not be able to get any, that must be it!"....which gets followed up by harassing.

So you see, that's actually the reason people harass virgins...becaue they feel that you pretty much need sex because they do. And if you haven't got any than they figure you must have a problem because they need it.

I personally don't think there really is an age where you're too old to be a virgin. I'll even give you a handshake for not following the sex crazed crowd.

Yeah, because you know, anyone who has sex is automatically sex crazed.

Personally, I don't think denying one of the natural pleasures (and necessities) of life is healthy. As long as he's not in complete denial of his sexuality, I really don't have a problem with people are virgins that are my age. I respect their view on the subject, as long as they have a reasonable outlook on what it means to be sexually active.

I like the incredibly stuffy attitude some people seem to have against sexual relationships. It's because we "need" it, like we're somekind of drug-fiend or something.

I could also make ludicrous comments about that crowd, too. Like they're a bunch of stuck-up assholes that can't see past their own noses and like to make themselves feel better by putting down those who recieve the physical attention that they themselves are so insanely jealous of. But, that's a narrow-minded, ignorant view and I know better than that.

The Vast majority are.

"Yeah I don't think college kids care much about, or discuss sex very much."

Sex is the only thing people ever talk about in college.

Sex is the main topic of any conversation in college... lol. Umm, I'd have to say any age between 20-30 is fine to be a virgin. But once you get past 30, that's pushing it a bit. This excludes if you're extremely religious, because well, they don't believe in that.

But, tell me you've gone out with someone and have made it to 3rd base. Or just... gone out with someone. Cause waiting for the perfect person isn't really realistic, the chances of you meeting that special soulmate is unlikely to happen until very much later.

That right there is the golden question. You hit the nail right on the head there.

Anyway, I'm 20 years old and I just had my first kiss about 2 days ago. I mean at first I held off cause I wanted my first time to be with the person I settle with for the rest of my life. However, the more I think about it, the clearer it becomes to me that without experience and knowing what's really out there, I'm not really gonna be able to truly settle down. (Also, I think it's more difficult for us gay guys to have romance/sex fall right into our lap through our daily lives without pursuing it) Anyway, the point is there's no real right age. However, that doesn't mean you should just stay put and wait for it to happen. Get out there and mingle.

Coming from a clinical sex addict - Sex is incredibly overrated.

It's all about expending energy uselessly. You fuck around with your partner's bits that they keep in their pants for most of the day, you squirm and squeal and release some reactionary fluids and flop around like fish.

Then what?

I have a dour outlook on sex for various reasons in my past. The long and short of it is that I had what ever guy ever wanted - I was fucking girls left and right about three years ago and without any attachment. But after a while, you realize they're using you as a human vibrator (thankfully, not as a human sperm bank) and it kind of ruins whatever ideas you had about women before you stuck yourself in her slot.

Sex complicates shit no matter how hard you try. And then theres stuff like if you and your partner are clean or compatible. Back hair. Smells. Getting your partner to orgasm. I knew one chick into being hit in the face - another into fisting and yet another into felching, though I thankfully never slept with that last one because I certainly would've hit her in the face, just to get the fuck away.

Seriously though, dude. Look for a rewarding relationship. If someone gets up in your shit about you being a virgin just tell them that you'd rather that then passing their mom around from the mailman to the milkman.

Do virgins get special privleges or something? Maybe a card that gives you 10% discounts at local merchants? I never heard about this.

Double Post:
Yes, and you have reached it.

It's a stupid question. Most people your age have already lost their virginity; even people who wait until marriage frequently marries young, assuming that they got a boyfriend or girlfriend that they like enough to have sex with.

You're really missing the point, though. If you're embarassed about being a virgin, go out and find a girl you like enough to have sex. If you are not, then don't. That's all that matters, bragging either way won't help you out any.

Also I like how I'm not the first person to call folks on the "treasure your virginity" bullshit. The people who say that do not know what they are missing, and it is hilariously obvious.

Double Post:
You think you're special because you keep your legs closed and spend your Fridays alone. Compared to your kind, everyone is sex-crased.

Do you seriously believe the majority of people aren't sex crazed? Does that make you feel a little better about the world?

I probably talk to the wrong people then, b/c most of my friends who got laid many, many times say: "You're not missing much".

To answer the main question, I don't think there's a line. However, I have heard my friends say things such as, "Everyone wants to have sex with a virgin in their 20's cause they are so rare." However, I think that point has been proven false. I say, if you think your virginity is special, then it is and you should wait to find that special someone. If you think it's special, then you'll remember your first time more and whether it was a hit or miss...to be frank

A question for some of the people in this thread.

How old is too old to not have an STD? Since the sex is so good to keep risking getting it. How old should I be to have my first STD?

Perhaps you are misunderstanding me. I'm not talking about regular Joe Average, not a big hit with the ladies, maybe he's a little shy, he's going to college next year and he's a virgin.

When I'm talking about the people who have no clue what they're talking about, I'm talking about this guy:

I know how easy it can be to take things seriously because you have something in common with the more, shall we say, extravagant people. But I think it's safe to say that I'm not talking about you.

So, I have no clue what I'm talking about, eh?..or possibly you just don't agree with what I'm saying.

And this all started because I made that "the Vast Majority of people are sex crazed" comment, eh?

Just a question for you, a lurker. What's your definition on 'sex crazed'? (This question isn't meant to start or continue a fight either)

LOL, It was more of a joke actually, however I understand what you mean now.

You're sixteen. You are by definition speaking out of your ass.

Furthermore it's alarming how much you're hung up on other people's sex drives. This is a very important topic to you, I guess, but it's making me uncomfortable.

that is my answer to your question, in case you had difficulty interpreting it.

1. No, you didn't really answer the question. You just tried to avoid the question.

2. If it's making you uncomfortable, then why do you keep posting in the topic.

3. You really don't know what "speaking out of your ass" is. I still stand by my original post that started this in the first place. I'm curious to know if you just read the "Vast majority are sex crazed" part or if you actually read what I posted before it as well.

Just so you know, it's not that hard to figure out the Human mind and what the body craves. Physiology has always been a nice interest of mine. It's not that hard to pick up on human being's reactions to things such as sex.

Of course, why am I actually putting up this conversation with someone with a typical response like

I'm so totally hurt. :(

Lehah, lol, your post amuses me greatly.

When is it no longer normal to not have had sex... I'd guess... right around 20. Thats not saying its automatically a sad thing, it could be, but it's not by definition alone.

Its kind of the disney world of biology. It sounds so great and amazing... but when you get there... well, some people like to convince themselves it was amazing. Its nice and all, shit, it'd have to be to be evolutionary... but its not all its made out to be.

Oh, and no one likes broken rides.

As for too old to not have an STD... ? well... um... stay away from hookers and um... dirty people, and the answer is your never "too old to not have an STD".

Very nice way to look at it avanent.

Reading the science articles in Time magazine for three years does not make you much of an expert in behavior. Otherwise perhaps you would not think that the vast majority of people are sex-craved and that virgins have exceptional self-control.

And no. I'll explain why I believe this. You're not comprehending what I'm saying correctly.

(In this, we'll assume that person has not masturbated either)

A person who constantly has sex is going to be accustomed to the feeling, no? When you first have sex (as well as masturbating), it's like opening up a new doorway.

If your body is ignorant to an orgasm feeling then it cannot crave it like a person who's already had the feeling one or more times. Your body will eventually become accustomed to the feeling and want more to get sexual satisfaction. You'll need to do more and more to satisfy your body's urges. (Which starts the sex craze cycle)

That's why I said the majority of people are sex crazed because many had already had a sexual experience (such as masturbation) to trigger the cycle. Much like Drugs addictions...if you've be "crackin" it up for some years and try to stop, you get withdrawals because your body craves the feeling again.

Okay, so how did I do? Was I too loose on something or did I clarify enough?

You're so adorable. I already know why you think people are sex-crazed if they so much as look at their genitals. I am saying you are mistaken, and hold a tragically hilarious definition of the term 'crazed'.

Here, I'll take pity on you. You are very young, coming off of the hormonal rollercoaster that is puberty. Do you think that the way you currently feel about sex and arousal is how you always will feel about them?

Perhaps they did not have an exposé on sex hormones since you started paying attention to the news.

I like how automatically anyone who is sexually active is now automatically a carrier of an STD. I get regular check-ups, the military mandates this.

I know I'm clean, I don't just jump into bed with anybody and when I do get into bed with someone, it's only after taking a brief moment to ask "what do you use for protection?" Then, I whip out the jimmy-hat and go to town.

Condoms are pretty goddamned effective at stopping transmission of diseases. Also, if it's something that can be transmitted through contact of skin, say around the vaginal area, like from her inner thigh to my scrotum, there're typically visual cues by the time it's advanced enough to be infectious.

I'm not saying sex is the greatest thing, ever. But, if you know what you're doing, it comes pretty damned close.

I think Bill Maher said it best, "America needs to get laid." Since soniclover probably has no real solid information about sex outside of what he's been taught in this shithole of an education system we have in this country, I don't really hold his ignorance against him.

a lurker, what's the point of even communicating with you? Two-thirds of your posts are just insults and attempts to belittle me.

You think my definition of sex-crazed is hilarious (even though you avoided giving your definition) and I really don't agree with your statements. There's no good reason why a great deal of people value their self-worth by how much they get laid. There's so many people with false self-esteem in this country.

You're going to think your way and I'm going to think my way. What's the point of going on with this if you're not going to even consider what I'm saying and just dismiss it.

a lurker, please give me one more insult for the road.

Go America!

Lurker is actually being pretty nice to you there, soniclover. You should listen to what she has to say.

Yes, Lurker is being reasonable believe it or not.

hmmmm

No. Keep in mind this is only half the pleasure - masturbating can get boring. Also, virgins don't necessarily have more self control. They have strong desires to make out like anyone else.

As for sex, hmm can't speak on things I have no knowledge of :P - but there is nothing wrong with always wanting to have sex. It's human nature and it shouldn't be mocked or looked down on or whatever.


Felching - what does that mean?

How exactly are you guys getting the idea that I meant "Virgins have more self control"?

I meant, virgins don't know the feeling of sex so their body doesn't know the feeling of it (unless you masturbate, which gives your body a taste).

Did I say something about self-control? I said that your body is ignorant to the sexual feeling so it can't crave it like someone who has actually felt it.

It's not a matter of self-control. It's a matter of what your body is accustomed to.

The mistake you're making with this is what your focus is on. The amount of sex anyone has is not what makes them normal or abnormal. It's a total misnomer. The question you should be asking yourself is, shit, am I even trying? Do you try to talk with women? Ever? Do you have problems being social? Nervousness, problems with eye contact, self image issues?

The aspect that's abnormal is not having any skills that you should of had a natural drive to start developing right around the time of your balls dropping. Worry less about sex for now and more about getting a girl's number for starters.

You're never really too old unless you're wrinkled with bad bones and you're teeth are falling out.

Tell that to Madonna

http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B0...CLZZZZZZZ_.jpg

She has all of her teeth but we wish she would learn she's too old to attempt to be sexy. Madonna, please get off of the Dance Floor. :(

I thought this topic was stupid so I wasn't really sure why I came into this thread again, but a lurker has always been so insightful and I just love reading the comments going back and forth here.

I think it's great that anyone that has had sex is automatically sex crazed because it feels good. Just like drinking alcohol, I loved my first buzz, I think I'll go be an alcoholic now because my body craves it. The whole sex drive thing has nothing to do with any of this. We all have out of control sex drives according to what's been said.

Anyway, back to the original topic, you're never too old for anything would be my answer. ;)

You keep insisting that people who've had sex are sex-crazed, and the corollary being that those who haven't are not crazed. Look, please stop repeating yourself. Your argument has some logic to it, but it's very elementary at best, and ignores reality. Everyone who has had physical contact with their genitals, even if it's just wearing jeans or a spontaneous boner, knows that touching down there feels good. You don't need to make a mess of yourself to know that. I mean christ, do you honestly think most people start masturbating because they know what an orgasm feels like already, or because their buddies told them how awesome it'd feel? I was a teenager, once, and I have never had friends so close that they'd tell me something like that. Perhaps your friends are extremely creepy. I don't know.

Since you keep begging me to be your online dictionary, my definition of sex-crazed is having such an overwhelming lust that it interferes with your day-to-day life. This, obviously, is not trust for the overwhelming majority of people. Your friends might talk a lot about it, but they're still able to go to school without masturbating frequently or feeling up the freshmen between classes. This is because most people are mature enough to know when and where sexual stimulation is appropriate.

Your definition is ludicrous because it calls people 'crazed' if they merely desire sexual contact from time to time. It makes no distinction between how much, or how frequently; it makes no distinction on how far someone will go to achive sexual stimulation (manipulation, drugging, prostitution/soliciting, rape). It is ultimately divorced from all logic. Furthermore, you back up your argument (if you call it that) by saying that orgasms are addictive, without bringing up any proof of psychological or physiological addictive properties of orgasms. Your only proof is that "it feels good and people will want to do it more often." One time I found out how good it felt to scratch my feet on cheap, abrasive carpeting; I am not a carpet addict, a slave to itchy feet.

I can only assume that you feel the way you do about sex from a combination of an upbringing that strongly discourages sex and masturbation, and from having extremely strong sexual urges. I can't think of any other reason why a virgin who was only aware of his genitals for the past four years would have such extreme views of sex. So I'll repeat my question; do you honestly think that your sex drive will never change, or that it can only change for the worse?

I merely said that once you have sex it's like opening up a new doorway for you body...whoops I'm repeating myself again. Of course, I wouldn't have to repeat myself if you would stop insisting things.

Um...since when did we start talking about why people are having sex and other sexual pleasures?

Well, that makes a lot of since. After reading that, I can see my statement as being radical. I guess I have a really unrealistic view of being sex-crazed.

So you say, Scratch feet, so you say...

Well, I did grow up in an environment where sex and masturbation is frowned upon so that's most likely the reason everything I'm saying seems so exaggerated. Growing up in an Old Fashioned Baptist church and having your mother pound her old fashioned ways into you is bound to affect your frame of mind somehow.

Okay, that's it from me. I have a limit to how much I can debate before I just don't want to anymore. (Which is why I'm not on the debate team)

You surprising gave me a lot to think about, a lurker. I want to personally thank you for the enlightenment, seriously. We all need a reality check every once in a while.

"She has all of her teeth but we wish she would learn she's too old to attempt to be sexy. Madonna, please get off of the Dance Floor."

If I married a woman who aged as well as Madonna has, I'd be fucking ecstatic.
That said, please someone younger MTV.

Wow, honestly, I'd consider 24 to be too old. If I had to pick a specific number, I'd go with 20. (Just on a side note, I saw a documentary once that said that men reach their peak sexual capacity at age 20 and women reach their peak sexual capacity at age 30.)

Best way to do this is not come out strong in an argument unless you're 99% sure of what you're talking about. It's easy to make that mistake in forum debates. Learning to be honest with your range of knowledge is a difficult thing to come to grips with. Regardless, I'm glad to see you're one of the few people who learn from debate instead of relentlessly persuing a cause.

Back to the topic, being a virgin shouldn't matter. What matters is whether you've had significant relationships in pursuit of your "someone special." Though those who are still virgins may feel like they're missing out on a great experience (which they are), it still doesn't matter. It's a life experience that doesn't need to be rushed, just like marriage or kids (or retirement <.<).

I'm a virgin in my 20's and I know I won't be getting any for at least 2 more years (probably a lot more). I'd say that if this information is correct, then I'm screwed, but I think that would be a contradiction. Ok, very bad pun.

I agree. Rushing into things like that greatly limits people. I that's one of the main arguments I remind myself of whenever I just want to quit. "If you do, then you'll end up at a dead-end job with a lazy husband and a bunch of kids that your husband would beat whlie laughing hysterically." Yes, the only guy that's attrated to me is like that, which is why I go to college in a different state.

How old are you?

This is the biggest pile of bullshit I have ever read, and I encourage all that read this to pretty much think the reverse.

I lost my virginity when I was what, 16? I didn't crave it every day AFTER that, nor do I crave it NOW. In fact, I've turned down sex. IMAGINE THAT. A non-virgin TURNING DOWN SEX. GASP.

Man. You must either be a virgin saving himself for a marriage because god said so, you're a gaming nerd who smells really bad and CAN'T get laid, or you just got laid recently, your girlfreind left you, and all you have is your right hand.

No shame with the right hand. I mean, sure I have to use both myself but no one does it better than yourself.

No one is speaking against masturbation, here. I am pretty sure that masturbation is fucking awesome, but it gets old fast - especially when you know there's pussy or cock out there that you could totally have.

Admit it, LeHah. ADMIT.

As long as Eva Angelina does porn, theres nothing to admit

I see. So you do not enjoy real, actual, tangible twat if Eva Angelina stays on your screen forever.

Thats a very interesting thing for a person who hates the internet (and everyone on it) to say! I hope you see my point! <3

I hate the internet. I don't hate pornography. Porno doesn't make dumb posts about Final Fantasy games or 24 or why Rick Berman ruined Star Trek.

See, sweetiepie, honeychile, you need to understand what I was attempting to say!

A man on the internet says "I don't need to have sex with ladies, so long as I have my porn and right hand!"

This man hates every stereotype of "internet geek" available.

The irony. It's smacking.

Your statement makes the incorrect assumption that you have to be an internet geek to enjoy pornography.

I don't see that implied anywhere in my post(s).

Nearly every man on the face of the planet enjoys pornography. A lot of chicks too! That doesn't make them internet geeks!

But when they start saying things like "I don't need to have sex with women when I have Eva Angelina!" - THATS kind of creepy, see. Very internet-geek-esque, what with the "I have X, so I don't need sex!"

Eva Angelina doesn't bitch at me to clean the dishes or to take her out to some expensive restaraunt. She doesn't make fun of me for having so many DVDs, she doesn't talk back, doesn't say things to hurt me.

She just bends over and says "aaaaah"

So who the fuck are you to say anything, fatbody? I didn't know you were the judge of all the earth, didn't know you were here to pass sentence. Ready to throw e-rocks at me because you're some high-n-mighty bush-eating fat-fag-tag-jamrag dinosaur beast of a woman.

You pass judgement on my habits when you willing sleep with a man that could be mistaken for a horse fetus? Please, honey, adults are talking.

Next you're going to tell me that life-size, fuckable dolls from Japan are great substitutes as well, eh LeHah? <3

That would be me and who, exactly?

I'm just trying to address your problem, LeHah! This isn't an ATTACK! I know you feel attacked. Otherwise, you wouldn't have lashed out at me.

But I don't pretend to get all of my sexual gratification from my fingertips, so.

No, Sass is right, it is lame to substitute porn for human interaction.

It's internet creepy when you justify it.

Porn doesn't simulate tactile contact (Yeah, you've got you hand, but it only goes so far, nothing like having another human body), or olfactory stimulation and it does a piss-poor job of audio-visual stimulation. Lacking in every way, I really don't see how anyone could argue that it is a viable substitute.

Then again, maybe they're more into visual stimulation than anything else.

i waited till i was 18 before i had sex and i had a 3 year relationship with her but even if u think she's the right girl u can always get dumped or you could dump her so in the end , whats the point for waiting ?

People with terrible self-confidence and zero real life social skills can justify anything to themselves. Some people find it easier to persuade themselves they prefer wanking to sex than admit they're never gonna get laid anyway so the choice is out of their hands (As it were).

Couldn't you use that kind of argument for any group out there? "People with XYZ problem can justify anything to themselves."

I think there's a way to scientifically measure a healthy sex life, though. I mean, whether or not you're active, being disease free and not allowing your drive (or lack thereof) interfere with normal social function/interaction seems like a pretty ideal definition.

Determining normalcy seems kind of like a moot point, anyway.

:beer: in turns i applaud to your idea of waiting for the right person, sadly people have obviously come up with the idea that after 40 you are just a sad sorry excuse. At the age of 24, you are long from being too old and one of my English teachers i am good friends with is almost 30 and still a virgin. It is not about how long but the reason for the wait. Obviously if you are just scared of sex that is one thing but to wait until you fall in love is something that shows that sex is not just some pass time to you [not saying that people who think otherwise are wrong]. I guess in reality there is no 'wrong age' unless you are under 20, under that is kinda young to me...

Wow, I wasn't trying to start a flame war with this topic. Honestly, you people should settle down.

Also, I want to make it clear that I don't think I have more "self control" or something just because I haven't had sex. I don't believe it makes me "better" than anyone like some virgins do.

And I didn't really think it was nessisary for me to tell you all about my sexual history (or lack there of) for us to have a decent converation about the issue in general, but since so many of you have asked I don't see any harm in telling you about it:

Yes, I do try, I do put in some effort to find myself a girlfriend. I've asked out girls before, so far they've all turned me down. Thats not to say that I've never had a girlfriend though. I did back in high school, she actually was the one who asked me out. It didn't last very long though because I was just a dumb kid back then, LOL. I also have friends who are girls, so I wouldn't say that I'm afraid of being around females or anything.

I do have some things that I feel are holding me back however. I still live with my parents (thats the only way I can still afford to go to school), I know thats not very sexy. Also, I'm a pretty quiet guy. I am not "shy", just "quiet". But because of that, alot of people seem to think (mistakenly) that I have low self-esteem. Lastly, I don't have much in common with most girls I've met. My hobbies aren't things that 95% of girls would be interested in. I'm not really into pop culture (music, for example, is something I just don't care about), and I don't drink or smoke. My interests include things like Camping, Hunting, Martial Arts (been practicing TaeKwonDo for a few years now), cars, things of that nature. Guy stuff...

Sorry, I hope my life story wasn't too boring for you guys, but you asked for it...

Yea but then again, isn't that the point of being a male? To have hobbies and interests that males have. If you think about it that might be something that women are interested in and not just the guy who is exactly like me only a different sex. As for being quiet, i am shy and quiet which is a terrible mix, i mean, i don't have terrible self-esteem but i am also quiet which makes it worse, i guess i just fix that by finding something makes me less tense and less quiet, something like jokes, if i can tell a joke and a girl laughs then i am less quiet, i began to talk more. Just find something that can get you to talk and not have a girl stare at your while calling the police.
Living with parents is only unattractive if you are lazy and have no reason otherwise. School is okay because it shows that you are dedicated to something and that by taking the chance to go to school rather than live alone and just try and wait some women can find that very attractive and a form of better juggling of priorities which shows that you can handle a relationship. :)

David4516: You're out here near me aren't you? Anyway there is nothing wrong with waiting. I'm very glad that my first and only is going to be my wife very soon. 24 years of age is still very young in the grand scheme of things, you have plenty of time to find that woman out there for you. You shouldn't have trouble finding a woman who has similar interests as yourself. I think part of it might have to do with the area you are currently in. I know a bunch of women who love to do that sort of stuff. Maybe you should head down to some of the orbiting cities of the capital.

Personally speaking I sort of wish we had waited longer before going down that road. It would have made it more meaningful than it was. Then again it was the start of our relationship, so it might not have turned out the way it did.

Gumby, perhaps my location does have something to do with it. I have 2 close friends who never had any luck with the girls around here, but when they moved elsewhere to go to college, that changed. Actually, one of them just got married recently. They both told me that there's something wrong with the girls in this area...

I live in Beaverton by the way, right next to the Portland boarder. I've lived in Portland area for most of my life, but I don't really care for city life. I value peace and quiet, big citys make me feel a little uneasy.

Well there is your problem right there. That entire tri-county area is fucked up to no end. If you head down to Salem or out in the Dallas/Monmouth/Independance area you don't have the same problems as you do up there. Western Oregon University is a good little place. They were a dry town up until a few years ago so there isn't the big party scene like there is over at OSU. I find this to be a good thing. However Eugene is another place you wouldn't have trouble finding ladies... if you can stand the hippy thing and hairy arm pits O_o

If you never fall in love, does this mean you will die a virgin?

Is this what you want?

yea, that really is your problem right there, you need to move somewhere in the city, women in the city are more prone to dating rather than the ones in the tri-country area. I don't suggest you should go 'live' at a dorm or anything but finding somewhere to stay in the city might be more useful for dating.

David, I'm in alot similar situation as you. Except I never had a girlfriend in highschool, I had a chance to but I screwed it up. It feels like I'm the right guy in the wrong place, cause even a girl that actually had basicly everything in common with me still wouldn't date me. Instead she dated 2 jerks(Although 1 of the jerks was before I asked her out) and then turned Lesbian. I constantly see guys with no redeeming values getting girls cause girls seem to confuse an ego with confidence.

That along with my inability to get out of the dead end job I'm in cause no one ever freaking calls me has begun to put me in a f*** the world mindset.

David, since you are still going to school I wouldn't worry about it too much if I were you. If you don't meet someone before then, you'll have plenty of time when you're done with school and are starting a career.

I am in the city. Well, not in it, but right next to it. If I lived 2 blocks down the street I'd have a Portland address.

Most city girls I've met only care about what kind of car you drive and what brand of clothing you wear.

There's always deathbed sympathy shags.

These days, that's probably the safest policy of all. 20-something is an awful early age to catch something incurable, and the risk of accidental pregnancy is a giant hassle in and of itself. Then there's the inevitible emotional entanglements involved; casual fuck buddies simply do not remain so for very long. Outside of religion, there's a lot of compelling arguments for saving oneself for marriage.

Thought the deathbed pity fuck idea isn't a bad one. :tpg:

Plenty of men wait until their 30s until getting married and such. Your 20s can be spent pimping. Well seriously, you're just 24, I wouldn't worry about it.

Reminds me of my English techer, he is only 27 and he said that the 20's are your single/wild years and your 30's are you life changing years.

Says you, you're not the one fucking a bald, bed-ridden bag of tumors. :(

...dabu...that doesn't sound very healthy or moral in any way...

Is it immoral for the elderly to have consentual sex?

No, as long as they keep it disclosed to the public i don't care who have sex at whatever age they want. Elderly may have lower sex drives which may be a reason it is not just an immoral issue since it isn't as noticeably popular as holding back until a certain age to have sex.

Sounds like he speaks with experience regarding ages he HAS NOT REACHED yet.

i didn't say he was absolutely correct, besides he is only 4 years from his 30's so it is not like he is just turning 20 and acting like some psychologist...

Why do people think that being 25+ years of age and still a virgin is a BAD thing?

Screw society, seriously. It's only a problem if YOU let it become one.
And if the people around you are giving you shit all the time just cause you haven't had sex, then why hang around them for?

+1

People should have sex when they're mature enough. I don't think you can put a numerical age on maturity. Unfortunately there's no law preventing people from having sex before they're mature enough, hence 20 year-old single welfare moms in the ghetto/trailer park with 5 kids whom my tax dollars support. :doh:

I think the people who talked about focusing on dating are right-on: worry about finding that special person first. Sex should be an afterthought to that, but should come in good time when you do find someone.

If you're not mature enough for sex by your mid-twenties, when most folks are starting their families, maybe you have a problem that you need to address.

being mature is a mental thing that people have to come to realize, not everyone will be 'mature' at 20s and just because people are starting families then doesn't mean that everyone must start families as well...

No one but you said anything about having to start a family.

The word "mature" has lost all meaning for you, hasn't it? Either that, or you're completely illiterate.

I think you completely missed what lurker was saying.

Usually, by the time someone hits 24-26, they're pretty mature regarding sex. They usually spent some time getting the piss and vinegar out of their system and have gotten a little sick of the typical PARTY PARTY PARTY attitude. If they haven't, they've spent too much time in college if you ask me. Time to hit the pavement running, dumbasses.

And starting families really doesn't have anything to do with maturity. 14 year olds can start families. Thats right out of puberty. They're certainly not mature enough to know anything about the real world - they haven't even graduated high school yet.

Yes but the way 'a Lurker' was saying it, he sounded like he was trying to say that maturity comes at the age of 20. I know that obviously sexually people mature, usually in the middle of the 20s like you pointed out and sometimes before.
Sorry Lurker if i misunderstood your post.

24 is definitely not too old, in my opinion...

I think it is very wise of you to wait. It may save you--or another person--or both--a broken heart.

Hehehe well I'm kinda in the same boat with ya David4516, only one year down from you. If it makes you feel any better I know a lot of people my age who are still virgins.

I'm waitin just like you pal, keep the faith...it'll happen :)

Well, its really up to you bro about deciding how old is too old. Me personally don't let society push me around. Do what you want, its your decision at this point.